Chapter 2
Much like a dysfunctional household, Tatiana's office was a universe onto itself with its boundaries, deceptions, divisions. It had its politics, its dictatorships, its manipulations, and its power games. Tatiana sat in the middle of her world checking out the lines drawn on the battlefield, watching the figurines on the giant chess board, and always working at awareness of which game was being played. Who ruled? Who manipulated? How to get along?
“Tatiana, how's the Garcia account coming?” asked Jack Brewster, bursting into her office, his tall, lanky body towering over her while his green cat-like eyes dove into hers.
“Fine,” she said, grinding her teeth.
“I need to look at it,” Jack stated condescendingly as he ran his fingers over his blonde hair to make certain every strand was in place. It took an hour every morning for him to get his hair the way he wanted it.
“Why? It's not your account.”
“I need to look at it,” he emphasized furiously.
Arrogant stinky excrement, Tatiana thought to herself.
Jack Brewster had started working at Johnson Advertising three months ago and was already trying to take over. He had no previous advertising experience, no degree, and no talent, but he was best friends with Augusta's husband. Augusta recommended him, and Suzanne, the owner, thought Jack invented sliced bread even though most of his accounts were pornography establishments.
“I'll repeat that you're not working on this account,” Tatiana retorted. “Nydia and I are. You're not the owner or the director around here. I don't have to show you anything.”
“Bill isn't here, so I'll look at it.”
“I'll show it to Bill when he gets here.”
“Suzanne told me to oversee this project.”
“Then you tell Suzanne to tell me about this new arrangement.”
He glared at Tatiana as he left. He can kiss my grimy toes after I haven't showered for a week, she said to herself. Suzanne, the owner, may favor him but will never fire her own brother, Bill, and give the directorship to Jack. Even when Bill was only at work sporadically at best and was a functional alcoholic, Tatiana was certain that Suzanne would never cut him loose. Blood was thicker than water.
“Hi,” Beatrice Berry said, standing at the door, her dark ebony skin and eyes gleaming. “Are you busy? I can come back later.”
“No, I'm just getting a bad taste out of my mouth—a real stink bomb. What can I help you with?” Tatiana asked.
Tatiana had always liked Beatrice who was excellent at accounting, and her ability to take care of people, even those she barely knew, warmed Tatiana.
“I'm collecting money for flowers. I went to see Cora in the hospital yesterday with my prayer group.”
“How is she doing?” Tatiana asked, concerned.
“As well as can be expected for a woman who lost a breast. They think they've gotten all the cancer out.”
Tatiana opened her desk drawer and pulled out her purse. Grabbing her wallet, she handed Beatrice some bills. “I'm so glad. I can't imagine going through something like that.”
“She's in good spirits trusting God.”
“When will she be able to come back?” Tatiana asked.
“She won't be coming back. She feels she has to keep a positive outlook, and at times it's not so positive around here.”
Tatiana nodded, sighing. “True. Very true.”
“I'm glad I'm getting the chance to talk to you because I wanted to tell you again how sorry I am about your blind date,” Beatrice murmured with regret in her voice.
“Beatrice, it's not your fault he stood me up. You don't even know the guy.”
“I set it up, though. My friend and I really wanted to get the two you together. Sorry.”
“It's okay, really,” insisted Tatiana.
“I feel so bad, especially with all the gossip around the office about what happened to you.”
“Gossip?! Around the office?!” blurted Tatiana, upset. “How? Who—”
“I didn't tell anyone about the blind date. I hope you know that I wouldn't do something like that. I—”
“Hi, Tatiana, Beatrice,” Suzanne interrupted, standing at the door. “Can I come in?”
Tatiana immediately guessed that Jack must've told her she wouldn't show him the Garcia account. It didn't take Suzanne long to run over to Tatiana's office.
“Of course,” Tatiana returned.
“I just don't like barging into people's offices,” Suzanne explained, stepping in.
“I've got to go,” said Beatrice, leaving.
“What can I do for you, Suzanne?” Tatiana asked.
“May I sit down?” She smiled humbly, her bottled chestnut reddish hair gleaming in its straight, shoulder length bob and her ultra-thin body in the latest designer suit wear.
“Of course.”
Suzanne sat in front of Tatiana's desk. “Augusta tells me that the other day you and Nydia ran out at lunch to work on the Garcia account. Are you having problems with it?”
Tatiana frowned. “No, everything is fine.”
“I hope you don't mind me asking.”
“Everything is fine with the account,” assured Tatiana.
“Do you and Nydia need any help?”
“No. We've finished the preliminary work.'”
“Let me call Jack over to hear this.”
“Is that really necessary?” Tatiana asked, spikes of irritation in her voice. “Nydia already covered it with Ms. Garcia, and she loves it.”
“She does?”
“The rest of the campaign will be ready in a few days.”
Suzanne seemed relieved. “I'm so happy to hear that.”
Tatiana eyed her with a steady gaze. “Have we ever let you down, Suzanne?”
Suzanne shifted in her chair. “No, of course not. I hope you don't think I'm questioning you.”
“Were you having doubts about Nydia's and my ability to work on this account?”
Suzanne shifted in her chair again. “No. . . Of course not . . . I'm the biggest fan of your and Nydia’s talent.”
“Are you sure you don't have any doubts about us?”
“No, of course not,” Suzanne assured, her eyes darting all over Tatiana's office. “Actually, I came to see you because I'm concerned about you.”
“Excuse me?”
Suzanne lowered her voice. “I know that the other night you had a blind date, and he stood you up. I want you to know that it was his loss. You'll find your perfect man someday.”
Tatiana frowned. “Suzanne, where did you hear about my date?”
“Just from the grapevine,” she declared uncomfortably.
“You mean Augusta.”
“I. . . I. . .No . . . I”
“Does she tell you every piece of gossip that goes on in this office?” murmured Tatiana, spikes in her voice.
“She was trying to help,” Suzanne asserted defensively.
Tatiana frowned more deeply. “Your administrative assistant sure keeps you informed.”
Suzanne abruptly stood up. “I didn't mean to interrupt what you're doing. Good work, Tatiana. I'm glad we had this visit.”
When she left, Tatiana made a beeline to Judith who was typing at her secretarial desk in front of Bill's office in the lobby. Luckily, he hadn't arrived at work yet.
“Can I talk to you privately?” Tatiana asked with more snap than she intended.
“Sure, is everything okay?” Judith asked, concerned.
They stepped into an empty break room. Tatiana spent a few seconds trying to rein in her frustrated anger.
“Tatiana, is everything okay?” repeated Judith.
“Why did you tell Augusta about my blind date?”
“Are you upset with me?” Judith asked with a small voice.
“Yes.”
“I'm sorry, Tatiana. I didn't mean to upset you.”
“Why did you tell her? That was a private conversation I
shared with you and Nydia.”
“She was so concerned about you,” explained Judith. “After you left, she asked me why you looked so discombobulated. I told her that you had something bad happen to you.”
“And you told her what happened to me,” snapped Tatiana.
“She was so concerned, Tatiana. I had to.”
“Concerned?” Tatiana scoffed. “She doesn't care. All she cares is about herself."
"But—"
"I was discombobulated not because of the no-show date but because you were forcing me to have lunch with Augusta. She was fishing to find out something bad about me and you fell for it."
"Why would she want to find out something bad about you?"
"She really hates me."
“Why?”
Tatiana sighed. "I don't know. I've never done anything to her. What I do know is that she feeds on the negative. She feeds on turning everything ugly around her. She's like that—pretending to be a friend while stabbing you in back like she does to me, but I'm onto her game."
"She just needs a little love. I'm sure of it."
Tatiana shook her head. "I'm warning you about her. You need to stay away from Augusta like a fish stays away from a sneaky shark.”
“Tatiana, she isn't—”
Tatiana sighed deeply. “Judith, when I started working here, I also gave Augusta the benefit of the doubt even though I kept getting warned about her. I, like you, thought that all she needed was a friend and a little understanding. Boy, was I wrong! She stabbed me in the back by telling Suzanne lies about me. Fortunately, Nydia was there to untangle the mess with Suzanne. That was when I learned my lesson about Augusta— she’s too deep in a tar pit to be able to climb out without major effort on her part and the truth is that she’s not willing to do the work. She doesn’t want to get out of the completely lightless black hole she’s in.”
“I’m sure there’s a way to help her.”
“Okay, don't listen to me. You'll learn soon enough when her long, sharp teeth sink in to your back when you're not looking. But you need to know that when I share something private with you, it has to stay private.”
“Yes. I'm so sorry. I—”
“Thanks to Augusta, everybody now knows I've been stood up,” snapped Tatiana.
“I'm so sorry. I—”
“You can stop apologizing. Just don't do it again.”
“I won't.”
Tatiana glared at Augusta and Jack as she passed them chattering in the hallway. Office politics—like death and taxes were a fact of life.
“Did that disgusting creep really tell you to show him our work?!” Nydia snapped incredulously. She had just arrived to Tatiana’s office.
“You bet,” informed Tatiana.
“The nerve of him,” fumed Nydia.
“It’s really frustrating,” Tatiana proclaimed as she swept her hand across her desk. Accidentally pushing over her paper clip container, she let out a gasp. “Shoot!” Tatiana knelt down to pick up the clips. “Stay there, Nydia. I know you have a bad knee.”
The door flung open. In walked Bill with someone behind him. Rather than stand up, Tatiana decided to pick up the last two paper clips by her planter.
“What are you doing?” questioned Bill.
“She dropped some office supplies on the floor,” Nydia informed.
“This is Nydia. Nydia, this is Mr. Tristan Segovia.”
“Hello,” Tristan said, extending his hand.
“Pleased to meet you,” Nydia returned, shaking it.
Tatiana finally stood up feeling victorious about finding the last paper clip. She came face to face with Tristan who eyed her in a completely surprised and startled manner. Tatiana quickly took in his dark, well-fitting Italian suit, tall build, and clean cut, raven hair.
“Mr. Segovia, this is Tatiana,” Bill introduced.
“I'm happy to meet you,” Tatiana said, extending her hand. He stared at her with dark, unwavering eyes before finally giving her a handshake.
His look suddenly turned cold, and he abruptly turned to Bill. “I'm afraid we'll have to hurry this along. I've got a meeting soon.”
“Mr. Segovia—” Bill started.
“Tristan,” he corrected him.
“Tristan, we’re so thrilled that you chose us to take care of your account,” Bill announced.
“I'm expecting a lot,” stated Tristan, glancing at Nydia.
“We'll deliver,” Nydia declared.
Tristan nodded. “Good.”
“Tristan just bought this building,” said Bill with reverence in his voice.
“Oh, so you’re the new owner?” asked Nydia. “We were wondering about it.”
“I’ll be moving my headquarters to the top floor, so I’ll be close to discuss my account.”
“That’s great!” proclaimed Nydia. “Both Tatiana and I keep our clients well informed.”
“Good,” Tristan repeated. “Now, I’ve got to go.” He offhandedly said goodbye to Tatiana, but he smiled at Nydia as he left. Bill followed after him.
“So, that's the owner of Segovia foods,” Tatiana murmured.
“Wow! He's so hot.”
“He's a jerk—an arrogant jerk. He barely acknowledged me. I guess it was too much for him that I was on my hands and knees picking up some paper clips.”
Nydia chuckled. “He's got an instant crush on you.”
“Are you crazy?” Tatiana scoffed. “What are you smoking? It's obvious he dislikes me, and I don't even know why.”
“He couldn't speak the first few seconds he met you, Tatiana. You took his breath away.”
“Don't be ridiculous. It's you he likes.”
“You'll see that I'm right, Tatiana. You'll see.”
Tatiana snorted. "I don't think so."
"You'll see."
Every Thursday night, Tatiana headed to her mother's house for dinner. It was much more than about being a considerate and dutiful daughter. Feeling bruised and irritated, Tatiana knew that keeping company with her family would lift her from the cesspool of emotions that bounced around inside of her even with her hard won ability to keep them at bay. Tatiana's Aunt Pina and her Uncle Beto were eating peanuts covered with red powder chile when she arrived.
“You're late, Tati ,” Candida chided as Tatiana stepped in the door. “Is everything okay?”
“Sorry, I had a hectic day at work.”
“Your Tio Beto already ate half a bag of tortilla chips, not to mention those peanuts.”
“Don't worry about it, Tatiana.” declared Beto. “For you, Pina and I will wait forever.”
Tatiana smiled at him. He had helped her pay for her college education when her own father had refused, telling her it would build her character if she did it on her own.
“Thank you for waiting, Tio Beto, Tia Pina.”
They sat down to a feast of crispy tacos, guacamole, and Spanish rice. Candida, knowing there was something on Tatiana's mind, asked her what was wrong, and Tatiana explained about being stood up.
“Men are pigs,” Candida proclaimed. Then she looked at the only man in her life she had any respect for and who wasn't fazed by the men being horrible creatures statement at all. “Except for you, of course, Beto. If only all men were like you.”
“It would be a boring world if all men were like me,” he said with a grin.
“You are special, which is why I married you, Viejo,” Pina stated. Tatiana always smiled when she called him old man, and he called her old lady with such comfort. No one wanted to be old these days.
“Beto, you just don't know what a unique diamond you are,” Candida asserted.
He rose from his chair. “No more compliments, please. It's bad for my digestion. Besides, it's time for me to go watch my novela. May I watch your TV?”
“Will you stop asking me? Mi casa es su casa, remember? Just turn on the television.”
“Gracias. It was a delicious d
inner,” he declared, leaving the kitchen and going to the living room.
Candida wistfully stared after him wishing that all men were like her benevolent brother-in-law. People who knew her now found it impossible to believe that there was a time she believed in the goodness of mankind.
They simply couldn't imagine that when Tatiana's father came into her life, she fell completely head over heels, heartbeat over reason, in love with him. When Candida's sister, Pina, had warned her that he wasn't the man for her, she had, like so many others in similar circumstances, not wavered in her belief that she had found her one true love. A few weeks later, she walked down the aisle in her fluffy white dress certain she would live happily ever after.
One month later, she was pregnant with Tatiana. The month after that, the veneer around her certainty about her new husband started to crack. Roland told her not to eat so much, or she would end up looking like a fat cow. He hated that she was pregnant, saying there was nothing celestial or glowing about a pregnant woman.
“Pregnant women look like porkers no matter how you slice that pie,” he had said. “And kids take up too much time. They cry, they crap, and they want.”
Candida had assumed he would love children. She had assumed he would find her desirable when her body grew. At the very least, she had assumed he would stop himself from saying hurtful, ugly words.
When one illusion was shattered, Candida continued believing the next one. She assumed his misguided heart, which must've been full of unexpressed love, would immediately open upon first seeing his baby. But he had stared at Tatiana for a long time, while Candida proudly smiled at her beautiful newly born child.
Finally, he said, “She's so pink.”
“She just squeezed herself out of a tiny hole,” the nurse stated, irritated.
“Her head looks misshapen.”
“Again, she was just born,” the nurse muttered. What a doofus, she thought. A real moron.
Roland hardly spent time with the baby. In fact, he pretended Tatiana wasn't there, even when she cried. He would continue speaking over her cries while Candida changed her, fed her, and snuggled her. He would be exasperated if Candida didn't carry on a normal conversation as she was hurrying to attend to Tatiana.
Candida kept waiting for him to become an adoring father. At two years old, Tatiana grew into her extraordinary looks, even though to Candida, she had always been her precious baby but to Roland it was like someone had shone a bright light on his child.
“Isn’t my Tatiana the most beautiful child?” he’d brag to everybody.
Instead of being thrilled over Roland’s change towards his daughter, Candida became more and more disgusted with his superficiality. Why didn’t he notice how smart she was or how big of a heart she had? Instead, she and Roland argued often about him trying to turn Tatiana into a Barbie doll with perfect designer clothes while she tried to focus on developing Tatiana's insides. With the shattering of the loving husband/father illusion, the beginning of a deep, putrid resentment was born inside Candida.
There it festered and contaminated everything.
Candida gazed at her daughter from across the table wondering about the idiot who stood her up but not surprised by the stupidity coming from the sex she was certain was created by mistake.
“Tati,” Candida said as she left her chair to sit next to Tatiana, “I've just met the daughter of my doctor. She's a wonderful lesbian. You would love her. It's never too late, you know.”
“Mama, I'm not gay,” explained Tatiana. “I'm attracted to men.”
Candida shook her head. “Such a shame, such a shame.”
Pina crunched a piece of ice from her lemonade and turned to her sister. “Candida, she'll find herself a good man.”
“Are there any left, do you think?” Candida asked forlornly.
“Of course. I've told you a billion times to stop filling her head with such negativity.”
“I'm fine by myself, you two,” Tatiana asserted. “Why do I have to be paired up? I don't need anyone to take care of me.”
“I know that, Tati. I raised you to be independent, remember? I just want you to be happy, to be in love,” Candida murmured.
“I am happy. I am in love. I love everyone in this house.”
“We love you too,” Pina asserted.
"What else is going on with you?" questioned Candida. Tatiana wondered how her mother could look into her so easily.
Tatiana sighed deeply. “There’s just so much going on at work. I just got a new client today and boy is he arrogant.”
“Tati, you’ve handled difficult clients before,” stated Candida.
“I don’t know about this one, though . . . And then there’s Jack Brewster.”
“What about him?” asked Pina with concern overflowing in her voice. This wasn't the first time Tatiana had complained about him.
Basking in warmth, Tatiana felt the strength bubble inside of her to tell them about what had happened with Jack Brewster. A flow of words rushed out of her, and she explained what had occurred earlier that day.
“Don't let that mierda take over,” Candida stated. “If you let that piece of crap take over, you'll never have the upper hand again.”
“I hate it that he thinks he has a right to go to my office and question me,” Tatiana burst. “Why is Suzanne allowing that? Aren't Nydia’s and my campaigns successful? Do I need him?”
“Don't start second guessing yourself, mija,” Pina stated. “Don't get yourself into a black hole of insecurity because it'll be hard to get yourself out and easy for others to throw rocks at you.”
“You're incredibly talented, my daughter,” Candida asserted. “Suzanne is a person not understanding her own power as a woman, and Jack Brewster is nothing but mierda.”
Tatiana had a need to get everything off her chest, so she told them about Judith's unrestrained mouth.
“I'm sure Judith didn't mean to harm you,” Pina explained. “It's that Augusta you need to be worried about.”
“She's a man's woman,” Candida proclaimed.
“What is that?” Tatiana asked.
“She's so far into a man's pipi, she doesn't know who she is,” Candida explained.
“Be careful with such a person,” Pina expressed. “A person without a mirror can't see anything correctly. She's a human crab.”
“A what?” Tatiana asked.
“She's a crab in a barrel pulling all the rest of the crabs down who are trying to get out,” Pina announced.
“Not just men break watermelons. Women are taught to do it to each other. It sounds like Augusta breaks watermelons with her bare hands,” Candida declared.