Chapter 3
Tatiana hated certain circumstances in life. She hated how people assumed they knew who she was because of how she supposedly looked. If truth be told, she didn't feel attractive at all. Her mother always toning down her looks and her father constantly scrutinizing her physical appearance had left her completely insecure.
While growing up, Candida would tell her, “Human beings can be so tiny, so willing to believe life is contained in flat pictures with fake colors, taken by flawed cameras. The more expensive the cameras are the more some people are willing to believe in the superiority of those limited pictures.”
And her father would immediately snap, “Stop filling her head with nonsense! And put a decent outfit on her. My beautiful princess looks like crap!”
Crap! Crap! Crap!
Tatiana hated having that word reverberate in her head when she caught a glimpse at her reflection.
The mirror should've told her what she looked like, but all it seemed to do was emphasize her imperfections. And her father had always been and still was her worst reflector.
As she drove to the country club, she told herself not to be bothered by his superficiality. He had moved back from California many years ago, and she felt compelled to visit him. He was her father after all.
“Princess, I’m so glad you’re here. We're just about to have dinner,” Roland informed Tatiana as soon as she arrived at his house.
“I don’t want to interrupt your meal. I'll come back another day,” Tatiana said.
“Don't be ridiculous. I hardly ever get to see you. You're joining us.”
Tatiana reluctantly followed him and his new girlfriend, Sherry, a twenty-five-year-old skinny blonde into the kitchen.
“The house is nice,” Tatiana said.
Roland moved every few months to rental homes. He was never satisfied with where he lived since he believed his living space was never good enough. What he really wanted was a huge estate and truly believed he was entitled to be Oprah's neighbor in Montecito, California or Hugh Hefner's buddy at the Playboy Mansion.
Please Louise! Por favor! thought Tatiana. Can you imagine? Two old men who can't survive without Viagra obsessed with youth instead of maturity.
The unfortunate part for her father was that having inherited a sandwich restaurant from Tatiana's grandparents, he lived well but was not even close to being wealthy. That didn't stop him from living beyond his means. Tatiana bet that if she opened his wallet, he'd have but a few bucks.
“How's that crazy mother of yours?” he growled, piling his dish with baked chicken and salad. He had never forgiven Candida for having divorced him.
“Mama is doing great,” Tatiana announced quickly, her defenses up. “In fact, she's dating a wonderful man.”
I know, I know, it's a lie, but he'll never figure it out, Tatiana told herself.
“Is she now?—women!” Roland sighed and shook his head.
Sherry pursed her lips at him. “What about us?”
“Don't you start,” he growled.
“I'm not very hungry,” snapped Sherry, standing up. “Tatiana, it was nice seeing you.” She glared at Roland and swiftly left. Tatiana smiled. Sherry, like the women before her, was realizing her self-worth.
“I don't know what is wrong with her,” snarled Roland. “What is it about women? At first they're okay and then they turn into horrible monsters.”
“Dad, you know I’m a woman,” Tatiana chided, her right eyebrow up.
“Yes, but you’re my baby daughter and not my girlfriend.”
“Dad, maybe you should stop having relationships. They don't seem to work out for you. I mean, haven't the last five women you've been with left you?”
He nervously ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, but—”
“Give it up, Dad. Give it up.”
“It's just a matter of finding the right girl.”
“If you could find a slave girl, but slaves are illegal,” Tatiana muttered sarcastically.
“Sherry just needs some time out.”
“Time out?!” Tatiana snorted. “What is she?—five years old?”
“She's probably on her period. It's better that she left before eating. She's getting a little chunky.”
“Dad, Sherry is like a size three.”
“She used to be a two.”
Tatiana rolled her eyes. “My gosh, she's a whale!”
“Now that you've brought this up, Princess, you shouldn't eat that other piece of chicken,” Roland chastised. “You’re so lucky being better looking than most people, but you’ve got to work at it at least a little bit. Have you even been trying to lose weight?”
Tatiana let out a frustrated breath. “Why do we always have to have this particular conversation? I'm a successful advertising executive. Can't we talk about that?”
“I only bring this up because I know how your mother filled you up with all that crap about appearance not being important. What you look like is everything. You would wipe the floor with everyone around you if you would lose some weight.”
“I don’t want to ‘wipe the floor’ with everyone around me, and I'm happy with the way I am,” blurted Tatiana.
“Princess, today's movie stars are in the lower half of the single digits. You can at least go down to a size five.”
“No, Dad, I can't. I like food, and I'm not a movie star. I don't care to be one.”
“But in order to attract a man, you need good bait.”
Tatiana groaned loudly. “I'm not bait,” she retorted.
“How are you going to attract a man not looking your best? I have to say this no matter how much it hurts. You're in your late twenties and not a spring chicken anymore.”
“I do fine for myself, thank you.” Her voice was sharp and clipped.
“Then why aren't you married already?”
“I'm picky,” Tatiana burst. “I don't want to get stuck with some superficial jerk.”
“But—”
“I don't need a husband. I've got a life without one,” Tatiana growled.
“Have you gotten so high and mighty in your career that you can say something like that? You've got too much education for your own good,” chastised Roland.
“Dad, will you stop carping on me?”
“You'd better be careful about becoming like your mother—a man hater.”
“Dad—”
“You've got to stop listening to your mother.”
“Can we talk about something else?” Tatiana blurted. “How did you end up with this house instead of the one a few blocks away?”
“Princess, don't get offended because I tell you the truth about yourself.”
Tatiana abruptly stood up. “I have to go. Thanks for dinner.” She swiftly left without looking back. She knew he wouldn't call out to her. This wasn't the first time it had happened, and it wouldn't be the last.
You may wonder about how surprised Roland should be for having been left by two women in the same hour, but he wasn't. He was accustomed to it and furthermore, he thought abandoning men was an integral flaw in the female character and that women were scared of men's basic superiority over them and ran away.
Meanwhile, a few miles away from Roland's house, Tatiana pulled over by the side of the road and banged the steering wheel like she wished she could bang her father's head and cram some sense into him. Why was his view of the world so skewered? Why couldn't he see how much he hurt her? She hated that he was so superficial. She hated that she couldn't make him see her—really see her for who she was. She hated that it was highly probable that he would never become a better person.
Tatiana hated having dealt with her father's stupidity the day before and Augusta's stupidity today. She scratched her head while wondering what to do. Even if Bill wasn't around, he could show up out of nowhere. Tatiana kept looking at her office door wishing she could close it but if he saw it, he'd have a meltdown. Bill hated closed office
doors. He needed to be checking up on every one of the employees in case they were having raging sexual love affairs in their work spaces instead of having hidden alcohol bottles for drinking binges like him.
Is it worth the risk?
Tatiana kept asking herself if she was brave enough to shut the door. Augusta was at Judith's desk 'training' her—supposedly showing her the ropes of being an administrative assistant. Her loud, condescending voice could be heard all the way to the moon. Tatiana shuddered to think of any extra terrestrials listening to Augusta and thinking she was the highest form of human intelligence. Maybe they would take her to their planet, but then there would be a war between worlds. E.T. would turn violent around her.
Tatiana was trying to fully concentrate on a campaign strategy for Segovia foods. She had bumped into Tristan earlier at the elevators. Every time she saw him, he seemed more unpleasant.
“Hi, Tristan,” Tatiana had said, trying to be friendly.
Tatiana,” he said dryly.
What have I done to this man? Why does he dislike me? she wondered, sniffing herself discreetly to make certain her deodorant hadn't stopped working thus causing his bad attitude towards her, but her nose informed her of her very fresh sent. Tristan Segovia disliked her for some inexplicable reason.
“Nydia tells me you’ve finished the preliminary work,” stated Tristan, not meeting her eyes.
“Yes, we have.”
“I expect to have a meeting with both of you soon,” Tristan demanded. "Don't disappoint me."
Having that arrogant man in the same building is unlucky, thought Tatiana as she struggled to come up with something brilliant to present to him but having Augusta’s piercing voice in her ears didn’t help one bit.
“That girl was sashaying her mini skirt right up to Kenneth, but he doesn't like skanks,” sniffed Augusta.
Yeah, right, Tatiana snickered in her head.
“He didn't pay attention to her?” asked Judith.
“He says he told her he was married and that she should dress decently.”
So he says, Tatiana told herself.
“My husband likes women to dress appropriately. He doesn't even like me wearing those alluring night gowns,” Augusta stated.
As long as you wear the chains of slavery.
“You know what I mean. You dress appropriately,” Augusta announced.
“Sometimes I think I dress too conservatively,” Judith said.
“You're fine. You have nice clothes.”
“Thank you.”
“My husband knows what a woman should look like. That's why I check with him every day about what I'm wearing.”
What?!
“Your husband has to approve what you're wearing?” Judith asked.
“It's so I won't go out there looking like a skank.”
Are you a child who doesn't know how to dress?
“Kenneth says that women just don't know their place in today's age.”
Kenneth could be my father's best friend, grumbled Tatiana inside her mind.
“What's our place?” asked Judith, sounding perturbed.
“He says we've got a very important job, the most important job of all. We're here to support them in a world full of sin.”
“I don't know about that.”
“Judith, this world is full of the unholy. It's full of sinners. We've got to be there for our men and live righteous lives.”
You mean like the righteous life you've led, like being Kenneth's mistress and wearing down the rails of his marriage bed?
“I think we as women are here for more than that,” Judith declared.
Good for you. We're not just appendages.
“Look, I'm not a great fan of women,” burst Augusta. “Frankly, sometimes I wonder why God created us at all. We're back stabbing, vicious, and fools.”
Tatiana closed the door then. If Bill wanted to reprimand her, then so be it. One of the rights she had as an employee was being in a safe environment. When it turned toxic, she closed the door, hoping that so many stupidities, similar to constipated farts, hadn't permeated the walls.