‘Please, Mum,’ I said desperately. ‘I don’t want to—’
‘I am so disgusted with you,’ she shouted. ‘You stupid little—’
‘Don’t speak to her like that.’ Flynn’s voice slammed down on Mum’s like a sledgehammer.
She turned on him instantly.
‘How dare you shout at me,’ she yelled. ‘Encouraging River to—’
‘How dare you shout at us,’ Flynn yelled back. ‘We haven’t done anything wrong. Nothing. You just can’t accept . . .’
‘Get out.’ Mum pointed to the front door.
Flynn stood there, staring at her, his fists clenched.
My heart sank. Having promised me he would make every effort to keep his temper, Flynn had lost it completely in less than a minute. I looked at Mum again, at the way her lips were pressed meanly against each other. There was no way she was ever going to approve of Flynn. No way she was ever going to be happy about my seeing him.
‘Mum?’ It came out as a whisper.
She turned to me, her eyes hard and narrow. ‘Obviously, I can’t stop you going out with him, River. Not without locking you inside the house whenever you’re not at school. But I don’t want him here. And I want you to let me know exactly where you are from now on. I’m going to speak to your dad about it, as soon as I can get hold of him. Yes, and you’re not getting an allowance anymore. Not until you’ve come to your senses.’ She turned to Flynn with a final sneer. ‘Maybe without River paying for you all the time, you’ll lose interest. Emmi’s mother told me you’re well known for your ability to take from others.’
Flynn’s jaw dropped open as Mum spun round and swept away from us into the kitchen. He took a step towards her, a low growl in his throat.
‘No.’ I grabbed his arm. ‘There’s no point.’
I threw an angry look at Mum, then tugged him outside. We stomped away down the path.
‘Can you believe she said that?’ Flynn shouted – his voice deep and loud above the fierce hiss of the wind. ‘She more or less accused me of being a thief – just like they did at school.’
He yelled the whole way to the park, and was still mouthing off about it when I dragged him across the grass to the bench outside the little café where we’d met on our first date a few months ago.
‘How dare your mum say all that,’ he hissed as we sat down. ‘She’s got no idea.’
I shifted uneasily on the bench. It was one thing for me to criticise Mum. But, even though I thought Flynn was right, I didn’t like him talking about her like that.
‘She’s just worried about me,’ I said.
‘Don’t defend her,’ Flynn said. ‘She’s punishing you for how you feel.’
‘No, it’s because I lied to her . . .’
‘No way. She just doesn’t like the fact that she can’t control what you do anymore, so she’s latching onto rumours she’s heard about me instead of listening to what you say about me.’ He paused. ‘Stupid cow.’
‘Stop it,’ I said. ‘How would you like it if I talked about your mum like that?’
‘My mum isn’t like that.’ He stared at me, outraged. ‘I can’t believe you can even compare . . .’
‘That’s not the point,’ I said, my voice rising along with my temper. ‘The point is that you’re only thinking about yourself. You’re just like those horrible men at Goldbar’s, only thinking about how something affects you. Not caring what it’s like for me. Standing there, while those guys laughed at me. Just like with Mum when—’
‘I didn’t ask you to come to Goldbar’s,’ Flynn said. ‘And it was me they were laughing at.’
‘They were disgusting,’ I said, wiping away the tears that pricked at my eyes.
‘They’re just guys, Riv,’ Flynn said exasperatedly. ‘They—’
‘They were total idiots. Acting like they’d never seen a girl before. Have any of them even got girlfriends?’
‘Of course,’ Flynn frowned. ‘Sure they do. They were just taking the mickey out of me. It’s what it’s like there. I—’
‘Why d’you go there then?’ My voice was coming out all broken up, the tears impossible to hold back any longer. ‘Or is it where you really belong? With the other idiots?’
I spun on my heel and stormed off to the opposite corner of the park. I hugged my jacket around me. How could Flynn and I have been so close, inside that perfect moment, less than twenty-four hours ago? And now like this? I wandered among the trees for a few minutes. I was so cold and so miserable. I hated fighting with Flynn. I wasn’t even sure what we were fighting about anymore.
The wind was whipping through the trees and my tears were freezing on my face as I wandered back to the bench where I’d left Flynn. He was still sitting there, two plastic cups of tea beside him on the bench. He looked up as I walked over.
I stared at the tea. ‘How did you know I’d be back?’
He shrugged. ‘I was going to drink yours if you didn’t show up soon.’ A small smile flickered across his face. ‘Just cos we’re going to argue, doesn’t mean we have to freeze to death.’
I picked up one of the plastic cups. It felt warm in my cold hand. I sat down and leaned against him, all the fight seeping out of me. Flynn put his arm round me. We sat there for a while, just sipping at the tea.
‘Why does nobody else see it?’ I murmured.
‘See what?’ I could hear the smile in his voice as he kissed my hair.
I tilted my face up to his. ‘How awesome what we have is,’ I said.
‘They’re freakin’ idiots,’ Flynn said. His eyes were all soft, dark green like the leaves above his head. He stroked my cheek. ‘I love you so much,’ he whispered. ‘I’m sorry I shouted. I know I was rude about your mum, she’s just not giving me a chance. And you’re right about Goldbar’s. Those guys are stupid. Well, most of them. But that’s just how guys are.’ He leaned closer and the whole world shrank to his eyes.
We kissed, a long, sweet, healing kiss. Then we talked again, more carefully this time. Flynn spoke calmly about what Mum had said, acknowledging my point that she was trying to protect me.
‘I know she makes all these assumptions about you,’ I admitted in turn. ‘She thought you made me lie to her about spending the night at Emmi’s.’
‘That’s ironic, isn’t it?’ Flynn said with a sigh. ‘I was actually against you lying.’
‘I know.’ I sighed too, leaning against his chest. It was good that Flynn and I were talking like this, but all it seemed to do was highlight the huge weight of prejudice we were up against.
It got dark and Flynn walked me to the end of my road. We agreed we’d meet after school on Tuesday. Two days away. It felt like a lifetime to live through.
Mum was very quiet when I got back. She didn’t mention either our earlier argument or Flynn himself. She didn’t repeat her demand that I never saw him again. In fact, we hardly spoke to each other – only about practical stuff: when she would be home late during the week and what she was cooking for supper. I expected her at least to ground me – but she didn’t even bother to do that, though she repeated her insistence that she was not giving me any money for the foreseeable future.
I went to bed that night feeling horribly lonely.
The next day it was almost a relief to get to school. Emmi was full of how dreadful it had been with her parents. She’d been grounded for a week. But it still seemed as if she was getting off more lightly than I was. Her parents liked Alex. And they didn’t blame him because Emmi had sneaked off to that club. They were mostly just cross with her for not telling them where she was going. They hadn’t said anything about never seeing her boyfriend again.
‘Your mum has got a point,’ Grace said to me timidly. ‘I mean Flynn is very moody. Even James thinks so, and he’s his best friend. I can understand why your mum thinks he might not be good for you.’
I stared at her. ‘Is that what you think?’
‘No. Of course not.’ But she blushed in a way that made me suspe
ct she really thought the opposite.
‘It’s not that, Riv,’ Emmi said, coming to Grace’s rescue. ‘It’s just you gotta ask yourself why wherever Flynn goes you get this long line of annoyed people. I mean, why’s he always so angry about everything?’
I didn’t know what to say to them. It was true. Flynn was angry a lot of the time. Certainly most of the time he was with other people. But on his own he could also be sweet and tender and vulnerable.
Why couldn’t he be like that more often?
Why did life wind him up so much?
Why wasn’t being with me enough to make him happy?
9
I saw Flynn that Tuesday, then again at the weekend. I was supposed to visit Dad and Gemma at the commune on Saturday – Dad moved there to ‘get out of the rat race’, as he put it, when he and Mum split up – but I didn’t want to go. It wasn’t that I thought Dad would rip into me like Mum had – Dad was too chilled for that. It was more the idea of being cooped up at the commune, with nothing to do but feed the hens and hoe the vegetable patch, while Flynn and my real life went on in London.
We talked for a bit on the phone and I told Dad about my row with Mum. As usual, he was understanding. Just gave me one of his cheesy sayings about liars only hurting themselves. And he was cool about me not coming up to the commune, too.
‘Okay, love,’ he just said. ‘I’d come to see you instead, but I can’t get away right now. Gemma’s not been well.’
Mum, naturally, rolled her eyes when I told her Dad had agreed to me not visiting the commune this weekend. Which just made me even more annoyed with her. Since the big bust-up we’d continued to maintain an uneasy truce in the house – no rows, but hardly speaking to each other either.
The weekend passed. School on Monday was a good day. We had double English, which I liked, then drama, which I loved – and no maths. Grace, Emmi and I ate our lunch outside in the crisp wintry sunshine. We talked about the teachers and music and shoes and didn’t mention any of our boyfriends once. It was fun.
As I left school, I wasn’t even thinking about Flynn but suddenly – as I turned the first corner – he was there in front of me.
‘Hi, Riv,’ he said, a huge smile wrinkling his eyes. ‘Thought I’d surprise you.’ He held out a small package.
‘What’s this?’ I stared at his face – the eyes hard and shining, the cheeks flushed with pleasure. I loved that face.
‘Take a look.’
I gently unfolded the tissue paper to find a delicate silver bracelet with a tiny heart dangling from the chain. ‘Oh,’ I said, overwhelmed by the feelings that welled up inside me. ‘Oh . . .’
Flynn looked concerned. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing.’ Tears filled my eyes. ‘It’s just so beautiful.’
‘It’s not much,’ Flynn said with a shrug. ‘But it is real silver. Riv, I know you don’t care about money and possessions but it’s exactly five months since the day we met and the last couple of weeks have been rubbish for you and I’m trying really hard to – what was it you said? – be more open, so this is to show that I mean it.’
I hurled myself into his arms. As we kissed, I felt all the tensions of my ongoing argument with Mum seeping away. So what if she didn’t want me to be with Flynn? He loved me. And that was enough for me.
Our kiss became a hug. I opened my eyes. Across the road, Emmi and Grace had just walked into view. They were deep in conversation, looking down the road in the opposite direction from where we were standing.
‘So you like the bracelet?’ Flynn asked, standing back and peering anxiously at me.
‘I love it,’ I said. ‘But how did you afford it?’
Flynn smiled. ‘A few extra shifts, that’s all. I had a free period just after lunch. I went out to buy it then. Came here as soon as the bell rang to give it to you.’
I nodded. Flynn looked pleased. ‘Go on, ask me anything you want.’ He put on a sllly voice. ‘I have nothing to hide, babe.’
I gazed into his eyes, burning bright with love, and I thought how lucky I was.
‘Okay,’ I said, my mind running over the things we hadn’t talked about in the past few weeks. ‘You never told me how you felt about being suspended – or what happened afterwards, when you went back to school.’
‘It was fine,’ Flynn said. ‘Surprisingly fine. I got a lot of work done and nobody said anything when I went into school the next day and it’s all over now and I haven’t been in a fight since.’
He tilted his head to one side and peered at me, his fringe flopping over one eye. ‘How am I doing with the opening up thing?’
He looked so cute, his eyes all full of laughter, that all I wanted to do was kiss him again. ‘I’m so—’ I started.
‘Hot.’ Flynn leaned closer, brushing my lips with his. ‘Unbelievably hot. You are.’ He drew back and stared at me, right into me, full of wanting me. My heart started thumping. ‘And I’m unbelievably lucky.’
‘Oy!’ a loud male voice shouted. I started back, my eyes springing open. Alex was beside us. He grabbed Flynn by the shoulder and swung him around.
‘What have you done with it?’ he raged.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Emmi and Grace rushing across the road towards us. Alex shoved Flynn backwards. Flynn looked totally shocked. He clearly had no idea what Alex was angry about.
‘Hey!’ I said. ‘Stop it!’
‘Alex!’ Emmi rushed up, her eyes wide. ‘What’s going on?’
Alex said nothing. Just stood, glaring at Flynn.
‘What’s your problem?’ Flynn demanded.
Grace grabbed my arm. ‘I got a text from James a few minutes ago. He said Alex was mad.’
‘I can see that,’ I said, ‘but why?’
Alex pushed Flynn in the chest again. This time Flynn grabbed Alex’s school blazer and pushed him back. They were seconds away from a full-on fight.
Emmi and I looked desperately at each other.
‘Stop it!’ I shouted at them both.
‘Alex, what’s the matter?’ Emmi pleaded.
Alex took a deep breath. ‘He stole my iPad.’
There was a terrible silence.
‘What?’ Flynn’s lip curled with contempt. ‘No I didn’t.’
‘Yes you did.’ Alex was so angry he was shaking. ‘I had it this morning, at school. When I went to my locker at the end of the day it was gone. You rushed out when the bell rang. It was you. It had to be. You took it.’
‘No I freakin’ didn’t,’ Flynn said. ‘I was rushing cos I was coming here to see River.’
‘I bet it’s in your bag right now.’ Alex lunged for the bag slung from Flynn’s shoulder, but Flynn was too quick. He skipped backwards and Alex stumbled, arms outstretched. He turned on Flynn again, furious.
‘Show me!’
‘No freakin’ way!’
‘Flynn,’ I said. For goodness sake. ‘Why don’t you just show him what’s in your bag.’
Flynn threw me a furious glance. I was dimly aware of Emmi beside me, and Grace on Alex’s other side, but I kept my focus on Flynn.
‘You didn’t take the iPad,’ I said calmly. ‘Showing him your bag will prove it.’
Flynn made a sound that was somewhere between a grunt and a growl. Angrily, he swung the bag off his shoulder and opened it up.
‘There,’ he said, shoving it at Alex. ‘Go on, look.’
Alex snatched the bag and rummaged through it. He looked up, his eyes still livid. ‘Okay, so it’s not here. That just means you’ve already stashed it somewhere.’
‘No,’ I said quickly before Flynn could respond. ‘Flynn came straight here. He wouldn’t have had time.’
‘Baby,’ Emmi said, twisting her arm through Alex’s. ‘It does seem like you’re jumping to conclusions a bit. I mean, why blame Flynn?’
I threw her a grateful glance.
Alex wrested his arm away from her. ‘Because it’s got to be him,’ he said. ‘It’s just like with N
ikki’s purse the other day.’
‘Rubbish,’ Flynn said. ‘I didn’t take anyone’s purse.’
‘Are you calling me a liar?’ Alex drew himself up.
‘Stop it,’ I said, taking Flynn’s arm. ‘Come on, let’s go,’ I threw Grace and Emmi a despairing look.
‘Yeah, come on.’ Emmi gripped Alex by the elbow and, much to my relief, steered him away.
Flynn let me lead him along the street in the opposite direction. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. Now we were away from Alex, I couldn’t stop thinking about the silver bracelet Flynn had bought me. Flynn never had any money. He’d never given me anything before. Was it really a coincidence that he should be accused of a theft on the very day he’d bought me a relatively expensive present?
‘River?’
I looked up. Flynn glanced sideways at me. His expression was far more vulnerable than before.
‘I didn’t take the iPad,’ he said miserably.
I stopped and took his face in my hands. ‘I know.’ But inside I wasn’t sure. Flynn had said he’d done a few extra shifts to pay for the bracelet, but was that really true? He could have taken the iPad from Alex’s locker this morning, then sold it and used the money – or some of it – to buy my bracelet during his free period from school.
Flynn pulled me to him in a hug, burying his face in my hair. ‘Thank you for believing me.’ His voice cracked. ‘I think you’re the only one. I . . . I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
‘Of course I believe you,’ I said, hugging him back. I pushed my doubts away. What was I thinking? Flynn was no thief.
‘I love you, River.’
I breathed in his words. This was exactly what I’d wanted. At last, Flynn was really opening up. A minute later we reached the end of my road. Flynn had work in half an hour – his organic vegetable delivery job – so we kissed, a long, lingering, beautiful kiss, and said goodbye.
I drifted home in a dream. And yet, happy though I was, shards of doubt still pricked at me. Could Flynn have stolen from Alex? If he had, it would hurt even worse than him getting provoked into fights where at least I could understand his anger. But stealing was a cold-blooded thing to do. Which – now I thought about it – surely meant Flynn couldn’t be responsible. He was never cold-blooded.