Chapter 5
Fallen Star
Feeling a little awkward, Jacob spoke up. “I hate talking, but I might as well get this over with. My name is Jacob Burton. I’m here because Sarah Beth framed me for stealing money from the lunch lady’s register. Yes, sometimes I feel mean, and I have anger issues. I fight way too much and like to argue, but I’m not a thief.”
He looked at Sarah Beth and growled, “If she was a guy she would get the Jacob Burton knocked out of her. I can’t believe I have to spend three weeks with her.”
Sarah Beth looked up from her fake slumber, made a face, and said something not worth repeating. She continued making verbal bashes at him until Cindi told her to stop.
“Whatever!” said Sarah Beth as she returned to her fetal position.
Jacob continued, “What really made me mad is that when the principal viewed the camera and saw Sarah Beth stealing the money, he still sent me to court because I screamed at him. I can’t help it, sometimes my anger gets the best of me, and I just go off.”
Again Sarah Beth uncurled and made some angry remarks until Cindi went and sat next to her. “Let’s move on,” encouraged Cindi.”I think it would be best if we didn’t talk about Sarah Beth anymore.”
Reluctantly, Jacob continued, “When I got off the bus, I was amazed at the giant mountains. Then some nitwit named Eugene Eddweisser said, “It’s Wheeler’s Peak, the highest mountain in New Mexico. He’s such an annoying know-it-all. So I turned around to him and said, “Guess what? I don’t care about any of your moronic facts.”
Eugene looked disappointed, on the verge of crying because he loved sharing facts with anyone who was willing to listen. He was shocked that Jacob was mad for no apparent reason. He thought, boy that guy really does need help with anger management if he got mad because I told him the name of the mountain.
Jacob took a deep breath and continued, “The main thing you need to know about me is that I love sports, especially football. All the coaches really like me, and think I’m one of the best players. I hope this deal with Sarah Beth doesn’t get me kicked off the team.” He looked over again at Sarah Beth as she clenched her fists to keep herself from lunging toward him.”
“Remember this is not about Sarah Beth. This is about you,” reminded Cindi.
“The coaches told me to learn to control my anger, so I could get back on the team. That’s the real reason I’m here. Sports is my life. I’m a line backer and I like to work out. I think this camp wouldn’t be so bad if Sarah Beth wasn’t here.”
“Jacob, no more about Sarah Beth. Thanks for sharing,” interrupted Cindi trying to divert his anger. “Do you have a favorite time in your life you’d like to share with the group?”
“Yeah, a couple of winters ago, I went snowboarding here with my mom and sister. It was one of the best times of my life, but this last year has been my worst.”
“Is it something you’re comfortable sharing?” inquired Cindi.
“Not really.” He looked down, hesitated, and took a deep breath to calm with nerves.
“It’s not good to keep everything inside,” encouraged Cindi.
With a faraway look in his eyes, his voice lowered. It was easy to tell he wasn’t used to talking about his problems, but he had released some of his pent up anger in regards to Sarah Beth and survived. Slowly, he continued,” I haven’t told anybody about this before.” He stopped, and bit his lip as if debating inside himself if he should continue. Taking another deep breath, he started again in a low voice. “My mom’s boyfriend used to beat her. He used to beat us too.” Looking down he paused, waiting for any rude comments before continuing. None followed, so he kept talking, picking up the pace a little. “A few months ago she was pregnant and when he hit her, it caused her to have a miscarriage.”
His eyes moistened and there was a lump in his voice. “I was really looking forward to having a baby brother. He was supposed to be born just six weeks before she lost him.”
Feeling courageous, he continued. “The whole thing made me angry and upset. It was right before the episode with Sarah Beth, and I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I began hitting everything. ” Sarah Beth looked up, surprised by his honesty.
Again he stopped and looked toward Cindi and Sarah Beth. Shaking his head, he continued, “She said something to me and the weird thing is, I don’t even remember what it was, but I do remember that I pushed her, and then she pushed me back. She told the principal that she saw me stealing money in the lunch room.” He stopped to see if Cindi would let him continue.
Everyone was listening. Sarah Beth remained calm as he continued. “The lunch ladies never liked me because I never said nice things about their food even though I thought it was great. Of course, they didn’t believe me. Sometimes, I think people have it out for me. I don’t know why.” He stopped and looked down before finishing and diverted his eyes from the group. “I had to go to court. They gave me the option of spending my summer doing community service and taking anger management classes two days a week or spend three weeks at Camp Clearwater.” He laughed an uncomfortable laugh, licked his lips, and said, “That was an easy decision. How bad can this place be? It looks bearable to me, but of course I just got here.” Aware of revealing his vulnerability and surprised by all he had shared, he quickly went back to his tough-boy- glare with his jaw locked.
“I think we all understand why you are here. Thanks for sharing. Anything else before we move on?” asked Cindi.
Shaking his head, Jacob continued, “The biggest issue for me is how I’m going to live without watching or playing sports. I really wanted to visit Minnesota this summer, so I could see the Vikings’ training camp. My mom said we might go, but obviously not now since I got in trouble.” Jacob became angry with the thought of this.
Cindi hoped she could calm him down without any confrontation. She began to feel the tension in the room growing, so she reminded herself to remain calm and positive. “We can continue getting to know each other later. How about you grab something you don’t mine getting wet. We’re scheduled to go white water rafting in an hour. We will hike down to the river.”
The camp with its mountain setting was designed to help campers gain insight into their core values and learn to accept responsibility for their choices. Ideally, it would give kids a chance to achieve success and calm those with anger issue in a safe environment, but Cindi knew it was time to change activities.
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