Chapter Thirteen
After only four hours of sleep the intense discussion I wake to in the morning is hard to take, although there are some who have no sleep at all so I can’t complain. We decide to congregate on deck so everybody can be involved and we don’t neglect sentry. Isabella has woken up some time in the night. She is pretty upset apparently but Linton, who slept next to her calmed her down. She claims not to remember anything except Fiona taking over from me and csn’t bring herself to come to this meeting, still too distraught Linton said. I think it’s a bit much myself and question whether she really can be in on it with Fiona. What a brilliant cover to be the one injured when the sabotage takes place. But I can’t shake the image of her surprise on seeing Fiona up so late on deck. It seemed so natural and genuine.
“She must have gone down to the weapons room without anyone seeing her and stashed the weapon on deck somewhere during the day or the night before”, Renka concluds after asking Merva and I if we’d noticed her carrying the oversized arrow-like weapon she used to smash the control room up. It isn’t something we were likely to miss.
“We need to decide how we’re going to protect ourselves, I don’t think just keeping watch is enough and running to the common cabin to count heads won’t work anymore without the alarm”, Linton adds a bit impatiently, probably eager to get back to Isabella.
“I think we should use the guns, if some of us are armed with more than knives maybe we have a better chance of fighting them off”, Mickael adds.
“Wait a minute, we don’t know that they want a fight, we are assuming they want what’s in the dome, why not let them take it if it means they’ll leave us alone, we don’t know what’s in it, what does it matter to us?” Tomas says quite reasonably.
My heart jumps up into my throat as I frantically search for an argument against it. It is after all exactly the argument I would make if I didn’t know how valuable the content of the dome was. I feel Max stiffen beside me and see Renka shoot a death stare at Tomas, they obviously have the same thoughts running through their heads.
“We were told not to let our guard down with the dome, we haven’t questioned why before now so why do it when it is obvious the order was given for a very important reason”, Renka argues.
“Talk for yourself, I’ve questioned why I have to guard the apparently useless structure taking up room in the middle of the ship and when my safety is put at risk I think it’s my right to refuse an order that has not been explained to me”, Tomas quips back.
He’s mimicking my exact argument and I can’t fault him. Renka gives me a pleading look, or as pleading a look as his arrogant face is capable of. He is dreaming, I am not going to help him with this one, I think we should tell everyone, even if it disadvantages me. I try to convey this with my eyes but I’m not sure what he gets from the look, instead of persisting with me though, he moves to stare at Max.
“I think the Committee chose to send you all on this quest with the hope that you would be the ones to stop the Sickness killing us all. With that as their main goal they wouldn’t give you a job that wasn’t important, especially if it endangered you, so I think we should stick to protecting it”, Max says looking directly at Tomas.
I don’t know exactly what type of interaction Renka and Max had when Renka told him about the vaccination equipment but I don’t like how Max seems to do Renka’s bidding, first by trying to protect me and stop me from doing sentry and now with this argument against a logical and fair point made by Tomas, who he respects and likes. I glare at Renka and resolve to talk to him about this later. It’s no longer his decision alone to keep this from everyone.
Tomas is surprised at Max’s comment but looks at him thoughtfully, he respects Max and his opinions and will give this idea some thought before making a decision for himself. Renka is clearly far more clever than I give him credit for, he effectively has a tool in Max to bring otherwise more difficult people around to his opinion, I find him despicable.
“Maybe we should vote on whether we still guard the dome. My opinion is that the order was given for a good reason and already one of us has died in following it. I don’t want to be the one who makes his death worth nothing by sitting back while unknown enemies come aboard and take whatever is inside”, Renka declares passionately as he raises his hand.
I hate him for making me do this. Of course I have to vote to keep protecting it against what Tomas says and my better judgment. Even worse is the fact that he is manipulating everyone by mentioning Karther, whoever didn’t vote to keep protecting it will be seen as heartless now.
After some hesitation everyone except Mayther and Tomas have their hands up in the affirmative. I feel embarrassed that I am put in the group that is supporting Renka’s opinion. I can’t wait until I get to speak with him alone, the sooner I do that the faster I can clear it up with everyone, especially Tomas who is working hard to avoid my eyes, probably so offended by my choice.
The conversation turns to the use of guns to help us. I am just as opposed to the idea now as I was before, for all the same reasons and now one more. The thought that someone who is working with Fiona and her friends could have a gun makes me feel very uncomfortable. The group are talking like it is just a given that we use guns now and are deciding who wants one instead of a knife. I don’t like the way the conversation is going, if I was a spy I would opt for a gun and straight away I would have not only the advantage of surprise when I turned on the person next to me but the power behind it to cause real damage.
“Wait a minute, I don’t think it’s a good idea to give anyone guns, haven’t we had this argument before?” I argue in agitation.
“Things are different now, Pia, we don’t have an alarm system and we know for sure that someone or more than one more likely will attack us and they know how to use BAS equipment. It would be stupid not to give ourselves more of an equal footing”, Mickael answers with a bit of sympathy in his voice, as if he feels sorry for the girl who is obviously going to lose this argument.
“If I remember correctly, we didn’t have the alarm when we decided not to use the guns and the fact that ‘they know how to use BAS equipment’ is the point I’m making, we won’t be on an equal footing, we will be disadvantaging ourselves using weapons we know nothing about. Having a powerful weapon means nothing if we don’t know how to use it properly, using something that we’re skilled at will be more dangerous to our opponent than a gun we can’t operate fast enough or in a sudden attack”, I respond, I refused to be swayed on this one.
“You’re forgetting that we have knowledge of this ship, Pia, we know where we can hide and get cover, where a good vantage point would be to hit a target. That would be our advantage”, Renka adds to Mickael’s argument.
“Yes, that would be really useful, Renka, if our underwater enemy left a note saying what date and time they planned on boarding our ship, we could all find a secret hidey-hole and target one enemy each. Even in the unlikely event that we could get to any good position when we’re being boarded it would be killing in cold-blood to shoot someone who was sneaking onto the ship unaware that they were being watched. Who here would be comfortable sending a bullet through someone they didn’t know for a crime they didn’t even understand?” I address the question to everyone in the group as I stare at them all in turn.
“I understand what you’re saying, Pia, but if it came down to me or them I could do it. We voted to protect the dome, you did too and with that we’ll need to protect ourselves too. Renka says he can teach us how to use the guns, I think we should use whatever we have available to us”, Vonteuse argues to nods of agreement.
I look around at Linton, Diego, Gerla, Merva and Mickael, who still has the sympathetic look on his face, and see they have no intention of listening to any argument I have. I don’t need to see Renka to know what the look on his face is.
“Have any of you thought that Fiona may not have been alone? That maybe there is someone else among us, or even more t
han one, who could be working with these submarine controllers? What would Fiona have done with a gun in her hand? Linton, maybe Isabella wouldn’t have gotten away with just a bump on the head. We saw what they did to Karther and Fiona weaved her way in our group with no hesitation, I for one don’t think anyone working with them would hesitate to use a gun if it was in their hands”, I counter-argue.
Two can play at this manipulation game and I have no qualms in targeting the weaknesses of any of them to keep the guns locked up.
My words have an immediate reaction, everyone looks around at everyone else, assessing if the other is a spy. The suspicion that seeps into the circle of people around me is virtually tangible, the atmosphere changes and I watch everyone close themselves from their neighbour. I have hit the right chord because now anyone voting to use guns would be seen as suspicious. Although I am proud of myself for clearly winning everyone over to my side, I have to wonder what damage I have done in the process.
The damage becomes clear a few hours after the meeting ends when a fight breaks out between Gerla and Merva. Tomas is on the rounds and I am on duty with Linton, what I would give to swap the two for that three-hour duty, it is tortuous. Linton jumps between his obnoxious, annoying self to long periods of mopey monologues about ‘poor’ Isabella. I nearly signal to Tomas to do a swap so I can do the rounds and get away from him, but I stop myself from committing a seriously selfish act. It makes me wonder if Tomas really would do anything I asked him like Max said. I have a feeling that he just might, to a certain degree at least. He doesn’t strike me as someone who can easily be walked over, quite the opposite really. He speaks his mind when he believes it is important enough and stands up against the whole group if he thinks they are wrong and I respect that.
“So I know Mayther thinks he is really good at fishing but does he have to leave trails of fish guts on the deck wherever he fishes? I think he does it so no one else fishes in that part of the ship, a bit selfish if you ask me”, Linton complains. He is in the middle of one of his obnoxious and often just mean, tirades of which no one is left unscathed. I can only imagine what he says about me when I’m not around or even whispers in someone’s ear when I am. He is interrupted by a shout coming from the direction of the control room. Without even thinking about it I run towards the noise and am followed by calls from Linton to keep on sentry no matter what happens. Usually I would agree with this advice but it is broad daylight and there are people all over the deck, I don’t think me running a few metres to the control room will seriously affect our level of safety at the moment.
By the time I get there I see I’m not the only one who ran to see what the noise is, after what happened the day before everyone is a little jumpy. Tomas came to the same conclusion as me about the importance of sentry at that moment and is staring at the scene in front of him in confusion. Gerla and Merva are in the midst of a vicious screaming match, both with chests heaving and it looks set to move from a verbal fight to a physical one.
“How do you explain it then? I’ve never seen you take an interest in this stuff before”, Merva spits at Gerla.
“You can talk, you were spying on me, if anything is a bit suspicious here it’s you taking it upon yourself to snoop around”, Gerla responds with venom.
“What exactly are you accusing me of, Gerla? It sounds like you are quite the actress, all that crying about Karther, what a great cover, no one was ever going to suspect you”, Merva taunts with an evil curve of her lips.
Gerla responds as if the words are a physical blow. She takes a shaky step back and her mouth hangs open in shock. Merva took it a bit far with the Karther comment, I can’t quite figure out what it is exactly that they are accusing each other of but it isn’t hard to see it is the seed of suspicion I planted that is the trigger.
Gerla recovers from the shock of Merva’s comment and with a flash of her hand slaps Merva hard across the cheek. Merva’s head whip-lashes violently to the side and it is her turn to be stunned into silence. I can only imagine the sting of her cheek, the slap is still resounding in my ears. At this point, Linton bursts through the small crowd gathered around the two and pushes himself between them facing Gerla.
“What do you think you’re doing? What’s your problem?” he yells into Gerla’s face.
Gerla has the look of someone who has just been shocked by their body, like her hand worked on its own accord without any conscious decision made by her brain. She looks from her hand to Linton repeatedly, not comprehending what he is saying to her. Linton acts the coward in the way he tries to sway an argument he knows even less than me about in the favour of the person he is friends with. I imagine it to be a typical move for someone like him to step in when he perceives himself to be more dominant over one party. I can’t see him doing it if Renka was in Gerla’s place.
“Maybe we should just calm down for a second and talk about this properly without all the aggression”, Mickael steps forward with a smile on his face and his hands up in a parody of the surrender sign in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“You’d like that, Mickael wouldn’t you, you seem to spend an awful lot of time with Gerla, what is it that you two talk about all the time, or should I say who is it you two are talking to?” Merva leans around Linton’s shoulder to direct this accusation at Mickael.
“What do you mean, Merva? I’m just trying to calm this situation down, I don’t even know what you’re talking about”, Mickael replies, smile wiped from his face.
“I think it’s pretty clear what she’s saying, Mickael, you and Gerla have been acting a bit suspicious if you ask me and Merva is the only one with the guts to say it”, Linton directs at Mickael straightening his shoulders and placing a hand on Merva’s shoulder to show he respects her courage.
“Are you trying to say that Gerla and I are some sort of spies? You must be kidding! Who do you think you are making accusations like that? You don’t know anything about me, or her for that matter”, Mickael yells half in disbelief, half in anger.
By this stage it is Linton and Mickael facing each other with Merva and Gerla behind them. Everyone is gathered around now, some of them are contemplating whether they should step in. Mayther is rocking on his feet in indecision. I feel a little awkward being the one to stop the argument when it was me who started this whole suspicion thing. I don’t regret it now, although there is already so much for us to worry about, if we start fighting among ourselves we’ll have no chance against any enemy who infiltrated the ship. We are more likely to stab each other in the back, literally, than cause any damage to the submarine controllers.
Mayther finally makes the decision to jump in and stop the mess turning into something bigger than it already is. He steps forward and addresses Merva and Mickael by looking at each of them in turn.
“It’s stupid to keep on like this, accusing everyone, we don’t even know what Fiona was really doing or why, we can’t go assuming there are more like her on board, we need to keep together to stand up against any attack that might come”, Mayther pleads.
I agree with what he says but see his mistake immediately, showing any sympathy towards Fiona right now is the worst thing he could have done.
“So you think Fiona was innocent of destroying the control room, even though three people saw her run out of there and jump overboard? I think the mess that’s left is evidence enough of her handy work, don’t you? Or are you too friendly with her to say a bad word against her? Maybe you’re still talking to her, I’ve noticed you’re up before everyone else in the morning and awake the longest too, what are you doing then?” Diego yells into Mayther’s face as he pushes through the crowd and stands in front of Mayther with his chest thrust out and fists curled at his sides.
“Hey, you know that’s not what I meant. I just meant that we don’t know enough about why Fiona did what she did and who she was working for to accuse anyone else of being in on it with her. Take it easy”, Mayther calmly says to Diego with his hands up in surrender.
“Yeah and what about accounting for your time? What are you doing early in the morning and late at night, it’s a bit suspicious I reckon”, Diego continues, losing some of his anger but still intent on pursuing his line of questioning.
“Where do you think the fish you eat comes from, while you spend all your time fiddling around with the buttons in the control room I’m catching your dinner. I could ask you the same question about your time, I haven’t seen much gain from all your time in the control room, you’d think this ship would have grown wings and flew us directly to The Refuge with the way you and Vonteuse are in there almost twenty four hours a day”, Mayther answers angrily, stepping closer to Diego.
The seed I planted has clearly grown into a vicious weed wrapping its tendrils around everybody. In the end it is Tomas who steps in and calms the situation down, Renka stays surprisingly quiet. Tomas’ confident, non-confrontational tone as well as his reputation as someone who is fair and generally keeps to themselves works for him in this heated situation.
“You are all right. We don’t know each other enough and if we’re to stand together against an enemy that could attack any minute we need to get to know each other better and trust the person who is going to stand next to us when the time comes. Why don’t we all agree to meet in half an hour on starboard side and share a bit more about ourselves?” Tomas says looking between everyone in the crowd as well as the four involved in the confrontation.
He then turns and walks away, giving no room for a response or objection. Amazingly, a few of the others follow, Mickael and Gerla being among their number. It’s clearly over for now. Tomas used just the right amount of flattery and fact to stop the situation getting any worse. But now we are all going to have to tell our life story and I dread being put in that situation. I have to wonder if giving everyone a gun is a worse evil after all.