CHAPTER vii
AN EXAMINATION.
Cecilia found Mrs Harrel eagerly waiting to hear some account how shehad passed the morning, and fully persuaded that she would leave theDelviles with a determination never more, but by necessity, to see them:she was, therefore, not only surprised but disappointed, when instead offulfilling her expectations, she assured her that she had been delightedwith Mrs Delvile, whose engaging qualities amply recompensed her for thearrogance of her husband; that her visit had no fault but that of beingtoo short, and that she had already appointed an early day for repeatingit.
Mrs Harrel was evidently hurt by this praise, and Cecilia, who perceivedamong all her guardians a powerful disposition to hatred and jealousy,soon dropt the subject: though so much had she been charmed withMrs Delvile, that a scheme of removal once more occurred to her,notwithstanding her dislike of her stately guardian.
At dinner, as usual, they were joined by Sir Robert Floyer, who grewmore and more assiduous in his attendance, but who, this day, contraryto his general custom of remaining with the gentlemen, made his exitbefore the ladies left the table; and as soon as he was gone, Mr Harreldesired a private conference with Cecilia.
They went together to the drawing-room, where, after a flourishingpreface upon the merits of Sir Robert Floyer, he formally acquainted herthat he was commissioned by that gentleman, to make her a tender of hishand and fortune.
Cecilia, who had not much reason to be surprised at this overture,desired him to tell the Baronet, she was obliged to him for the honourhe intended her, at the same time that she absolutely declined receivingit.
Mr Harrel, laughing, told her this answer was very well for abeginning, though it would by no means serve beyond the first day of thedeclaration; but when Cecilia assured him she should firmly adhere toit, he remonstrated with equal surprise and discontent upon the reasonsof her refusal. She thought it sufficient to tell him that Sir Robertdid not please her, but, with much raillery, he denied the assertioncredit, assuring her that he was universally admired by the ladies, thatshe could not possibly receive a more honourable offer, and that he wasreckoned by every body the finest gentleman about the town. His fortune,he added, was equally unexceptionable with his figure and his rank inlife; all the world, he was certain, would approve the connexion, andthe settlement made upon her should be dictated by herself.
Cecilia begged him to be satisfied with an answer which she never couldchange, and to spare her the enumeration of particular objections, sinceSir Robert was wholly and in every respect disagreeable to her.
"What, then," cried he, "could make you so frightened for him at theOpera-house? There has been but one opinion about town ever since ofyour prepossession in his favour."
"I am extremely concerned to hear it; my fright was but the effect ofsurprise, and belonged not more to Sir Robert than to Mr Belfield."
He told her that nobody else thought the same, that her marriagewith the Baronet was universally expected, and, in conclusion,notwithstanding her earnest desire that he would instantly andexplicitly inform Sir Robert of her determination, he repeatedlyrefused to give him any final answer till she had taken more time forconsideration.
Cecilia was extremely displeased at this irksome importunity, and stillmore chagrined to find her incautious emotion at the Opera-house, hadgiven rise to suspicions of her harbouring a partiality for a man whomevery day she more heartily disliked.
While she was deliberating in what manner she could clear up thismistake, which, after she was left alone, occupied all her thoughts, shewas interrupted by the entrance of Mr. Monckton, whose joy in meetingher at length by herself exceeded not her own, for charmed as he wasthat he could now examine into the state of her affairs, she was notless delighted that she could make them known to him.
After mutual expressions, guarded, however, on the part of Mr. Monckton,though unreserved on that of Cecilia, of their satisfaction in beingagain able to converse as in former times, he asked if she would permithim, as the privilege of their long acquaintance, to speak to her withsincerity.
She assured him he could not more oblige her.
"Let me, then," said he, "enquire if yet that ardent confidence in yourown steadiness, which so much disdained my fears that the change ofyour residence might produce a change in your sentiments, is still asunshaken as when we parted in Suffolk? Or whether experience, that foeto unpractised refinement, has already taught you the fallibility oftheory?"
"When I assure you," replied Cecilia, "that your enquiry gives me nopain, I think I have sufficiently answered it, for were I conscious ofany alteration, it could not but embarrass and distress me. Very far,however, from finding myself in the danger with which you threatenedme, of _forgetting Bury, its inhabitants and its environs_, I thinkwith pleasure of little else, since London, instead of bewitching, hasgreatly disappointed me."
"How so?" cried Mr Monckton, much delighted.
"Not," answered she, "in itself, not in its magnificence, nor in itsdiversions, which seem to be inexhaustible; but these, though copious asinstruments of pleasure, are very shallow as sources of happiness:the disappointment, therefore, comes nearer home, and springs not fromLondon, but from my own situation."
"Is that, then, disagreeable to you?"
"You shall yourself judge, when I have told you that from the time ofmy quitting your house till this very moment, when I have again thehappiness of talking with you, I have never once had any conversation,society or intercourse, in which friendship or affection have had anyshare, or my mind has had the least interest."
She then entered into a detail of her way of life, told him how littlesuited to her taste was the unbounded dissipation of the Harrels, andfeelingly expatiated upon the disappointment she had received from thealteration in the manners and conduct of her young friend. "In her,"she continued, "had I found the companion I came prepared to meet,the companion from whom I had so lately parted, and in whose societyI expected to find consolation for the loss of yours and of MrsCharlton's, I should have complained of nothing; the very places thatnow tire, might then have entertained me, and all that now passes forunmeaning dissipation, might then have worn the appearance of varietyand pleasure. But where the mind is wholly without interest, every thingis languid and insipid; and accustomed as I have long been to thinkfriendship the first of human blessings, and social converse thegreatest of human enjoyments, how ever can I reconcile myself to a stateof careless indifference, to making acquaintance without any concerneither for preserving or esteeming them, and to going on from day today in an eager search of amusement, with no companion for the hoursof retirement, and no view beyond that of passing the present moment inapparent gaiety and thoughtlessness?"
Mr Monckton, who heard these complaints with secret rapture, far fromseeking to soften or remove, used his utmost endeavours to strengthenand encrease them, by artfully retracing her former way of life, andpointing out with added censures the change in it she had been latelycompelled to make: "a change," he continued, "which though ruinousof your time, and detrimental to your happiness, use will, I fear,familiarize, and familiarity render pleasant."
"These suspicions, sir," said Cecilia, "mortify me greatly; and why,when far from finding me pleased, you hear nothing but repining, shouldyou still continue to harbour them?"
"Because your trial has yet been too short to prove your firmness, andbecause there is nothing to which time cannot contentedly accustom us."
"I feel not much fear," said Cecilia, "of standing such a test as mightfully satisfy you; but nevertheless, not to be too presumptuous, I haveby no means exposed myself to all the dangers which you think surroundme, for of late I have spent almost every evening at home and bymyself."
This intelligence was to Mr Monckton a surprise the most agreeable hecould receive. Her distaste for the amusements which were offered hergreatly relieved his fears of her forming any alarming connection, andthe discovery that while so anxiously he had sought her every where inpublic, she had
quietly passed her time by her own fireside, not onlyre-assured him for the present, but gave him information where he mightmeet with her in future.
He then talked of the duel, and solicitously led her to speak [openly]of Sir Robert Floyer; and here too, his satisfaction was entire; hefound her dislike of him such as his knowledge of her disposition madehim expect, and she wholly removed his suspicions concerning her anxietyabout the quarrel, by explaining to him her apprehensions of havingoccasioned it herself, from accepting the civility of Mr Belfield, atthe very moment she shewed her aversion to receiving that of Sir Robert.
Neither did her confidence rest here; she acquainted him with theconversation she had just had with Mr Harrel, and begged his advice inwhat manner she might secure herself from further importunity.
Mr Monckton had now a new subject for his discernment. Every thing hadconfirmed to him the passion which Mr Arnott had conceived for Cecilia,and he had therefore concluded the interest of the Harrels would be allin his favour: other ideas now struck him; he found that Mr Arnottwas given up for Sir Robert, and he determined carefully to watch themotions both of the Baronet and her young guardian, in order to discoverthe nature of their plans and connection. Mean time, convinced by herunaffected aversion to the proposals she had received, that she was atpresent in no danger from the league he suspected, he merely advised herto persevere in manifesting a calm repugnance to their solicitations,which could not fail, before long, to dishearten them both.
"But Sir," cried Cecilia, "I now fear this man as much as I dislike him,for his late fierceness and brutality, though they have encreased mydisgust, make me dread to shew it. I am impatient, therefore, to havedone with him, and to see him no more. And for this purpose, I wish toquit the house of Mr Harrel, where he has access at his pleasure."
"You can wish nothing more judiciously," cried he; "would you, then,return into the country?"
"That is not yet in my power; I am obliged to reside with one of myguardians. To-day I have seen Mrs Delvile, and--"
"Mrs Delvile?" interrupted Mr Monckton, in a voice of astonishment."Surely you do not think of removing into that family?"
"What can I do so well? Mrs Delvile is a charming woman, and herconversation would afford me more entertainment and instruction in asingle day, than under this roof I should obtain in a twelvemonth."
"Are you serious? Do you really think of making such a change?"
"I really wish it, but I know not yet if it is practicable: on Thursday,however, I am to dine with her, and then, if it is in my power, I willhint to her my desire."
"And can Miss Beverley possibly wish," cried Mr Monckton withearnestness, "to reside in such a house? Is not Mr Delvile the mostostentatious, haughty, and self-sufficient of men? Is not his wife theproudest of women? And is not the whole family odious to all the world?"
"You amaze me!" cried Cecilia; "surely that cannot be their generalcharacter? Mr Delvile, indeed, deserves all the censure he can meet forhis wearisome parade of superiority; but his lady by no means merits tobe included in the same reproach. I have spent this whole morningwith her, and though I waited upon her with a strong prejudice inher disfavour, I observed in her no pride that exceeded the bounds ofpropriety and native dignity."
"Have you often been at the house? Do you know the son, too?"
"I have seen him three or four times."
"And what do you think of him?"
"I hardly know enough of him to judge fairly."
"But what does he seem to you? Do you not perceive in him already allthe arrogance, all the contemptuous insolence of his father?"
"O no! far from it indeed; his mind seems to be liberal and noble, opento impressions of merit, and eager to honour and promote it."
"You are much deceived; you have been reading your own mind, and thoughtyou had read his: I would advise you sedulously to avoid the wholefamily; you will find all intercourse with them irksome and comfortless:such as the father appears at once, the wife and the son will, in a fewmore meetings, appear also. They are descended from the same stock, andinherit the same self-complacency. Mr Delvile married his cousin, andeach of them instigates the other to believe that all birth and rankwould be at an end in the world, if their own superb family had not apromise of support from their hopeful Mortimer. Should you precipitatelysettle yourself in their house, you would very soon be totally weigheddown by their united insolence."
Cecilia again and warmly attempted to defend them; but Mr Monckton wasso positive in his assertions, and so significant in his insinuationsto their discredit, that she was at length persuaded she had judged toohastily, and, after thanking him for his counsel, promised not to takeany measures towards a removal without his advice.
This was all he desired; and now, enlivened by finding that hisinfluence with her was unimpaired, and that her heart was yet her own,he ceased his exhortations, and turned the discourse to subjects moregay and general, judiciously cautious neither by tedious admonitionsto disgust, nor by fretful solicitude to alarm her. He did not quit hertill the evening was far advanced, and then, in returning to his ownhouse, felt all his anxieties and disappointments recompensed by thecomfort this long and satisfactory conversation had afforded him.While Cecilia, charmed with having spent the morning with her newacquaintance, and the evening with her old friend, retired to restbetter pleased with the disposal of her time than she had yet been sinceher journey from Suffolk.