CHAPTER ii
A PERPLEXITY.
And here, at the door of his Father's house, and just ascending thesteps, she perceived young Delvile.
"Again!" cried he, handing her out of the chair, "surely some goodgenius is at work for me this morning!"
She told him she should not have called so early, now she was acquaintedwith the late hours of Mrs Delvile, but that she merely meant to speakwith his Father, for two minutes, upon business.
He attended her up stairs; and finding she was in haste, went himselfwith her message to Mr Delvile: and soon returned with an answer that hewould wait upon her presently.
The strange speeches he had made to her when they first met in themorning now recurring to her memory, she determined to have themexplained, and in order to lead to the subject, mentioned thedisagreeable situation in which he had found her, while she was standingup to avoid the sight of the condemned malefactors.
"Indeed?" cried he, in a tone of voice somewhat incredulous, "and wasthat the purpose for which you stood up?"
"Certainly, Sir;--what other could I have?"
"None, surely!" said he, smiling, "but the accident was singularlyopportune."
"Opportune?" cried Cecilia, staring, "how opportune? this is the secondtime in the same morning that I am not able to understand you!"
"How _should_ you understand what is so little intelligible?"
"I see you have some meaning which I cannot fathom, why, else, should itbe so extraordinary that I should endeavour to avoid a mob? or how couldit be opportune that I should happen to meet with one?"
He laughed at first without making any answer; but perceiving she lookedat him with impatience, he half gaily, half reproachfully, said, "Whenceis it that young ladies, even such whose principles are most strict,seem universally, in those affairs where their affections are concerned,to think hypocrisy necessary, and deceit amiable? and hold it gracefulto disavow to-day, what they may perhaps mean publicly to acknowledgeto-morrow?"
Cecilia, who heard these questions with unfeigned astonishment, lookedat him with the utmost eagerness for an explanation.
"Do you so much wonder," he continued, "that I should have hoped in MissBeverley to have seen some deviation from such rules? and have expectedmore openness and candour in a young lady who has given so noble a proofof the liberality of her mind and understanding?"
"You amaze me beyond measure!" cried she, "what rules, what candour,what liberality, do you mean?"
"Must I speak yet more plainly? and if I do, will you bear to hear me?"
"Indeed I should be extremely glad if you would give me leave tounderstand you."
"And may I tell you what has charmed me, as well as what I have presumedto wonder at?"
"You may tell me any thing, if you will but be less mysterious."
"Forgive then the frankness you invite, and let me acknowledge to youhow greatly I honour the nobleness of your conduct. Surrounded asyou are by the opulent and the splendid, unshackled by dependance,unrestrained by authority, blest by nature with all that is attractive,by situation with all that is desirable,--to slight the rich, anddisregard the powerful, for the purer pleasure of raising oppressedmerit, and giving to desert that wealth in which alone it seemeddeficient--how can a spirit so liberal be sufficiently admired, or achoice of so much dignity be too highly extolled?"
"I find," cried Cecilia, "I must forbear any further enquiry, for themore I hear, the less I understand."
"Pardon me, then," cried he, "if here I return to my first question:whence is it that a young lady who can think so nobly, and act sodisinterestedly, should not be uniformly great, simple in truth, andunaffected in sincerity? Why should she be thus guarded, where franknesswould do her so much honour? Why blush in owning what all others mayblush in envying?"
"Indeed you perplex me intolerably," cried Cecilia, with some vexation,"why Sir, will you not be more explicit?"
"And why, Madam," returned he, with a laugh, "would you tempt me to bemore impertinent? have I not said strange things already?"
"Strange indeed," cried she, "for not one of them can I comprehend!"
"Pardon, then," cried he, "and forget them all! I scarce know myselfwhat urged me to say them, but I began inadvertently, without intendingto go on, and I have proceeded involuntarily, without knowing how tostop. The fault, however, is ultimately your own, for the sight ofyou creates an insurmountable desire to converse with you, and yourconversation a propensity equally incorrigible to take some interest inyour welfare."
He would then have changed the discourse, and Cecilia, ashamed ofpressing him further, was for some time silent; but when one of theservants came to inform her that his master meant to wait upon herdirectly, her unwillingness to leave the matter in suspense inducedher, somewhat abruptly, to say, "Perhaps, Sir, you are thinking of MrBelfield?"
"A happy conjecture!" cried he, "but so wild a one, I cannot but marvelhow it should occur to you!"
"Well, Sir," said she, "I must acknowledge I now understand yourmeaning; but with respect to what has given rise to it, I am as much astranger as ever."
The entrance of Mr Delvile here closed the conversation.
He began with his usual ostentatious apologies, declaring he had so manypeople to attend, so many complaints to hear, and so many grievances toredress, that it was impossible for him to wait upon her sooner, and notwithout difficulty that he waited upon her now.
Mean time his son almost immediately retired: and Cecilia, instead oflistening to this harangue, was only disturbing herself with conjecturesupon what had just passed. She saw that young Delvile concluded she wasabsolutely engaged to Mr Belfield, and though she was better pleasedthat any suspicion should fall there than upon Sir Robert Floyer, shewas yet both provoked and concerned to be suspected at all. An attack soearnest from almost any other person could hardly have failed being veryoffensive to her, but in the manners of young Delvile good breeding wasso happily blended with frankness, that his freedom seemed merely toresult from the openness of his disposition, and even in its very actpleaded its own excuse.
Her reverie was at length interrupted by Mr Delvile's desiring to knowin what he could serve her.
She told him she had present occasion for L600, and hoped he would notobject to her taking up that sum.
"Six hundred pounds," said he, after some deliberation, "is rather anextraordinary demand for a young lady in your situation; your allowanceis considerable, you have yet no house, no equipage, no establishment;your expences, I should imagine, cannot be very great--"
He stopt, and seemed weighing her request.
Cecilia, shocked at appearing extravagant, yet too generous to mentionMr Harrel, had again recourse to her bookseller's bill, which she toldhim she was anxious to discharge.
"A bookseller's bill?" cried he; "and do you want L600 for abookseller's bill?"
"No, Sir," said she, stammering, "no,--not all for that,--I have someother--I have a particular occasion--"
"But what bill at all," cried he, with much surprise, "can a young ladyhave with a bookseller? The Spectator, Tatler and Guardian, would makelibrary sufficient for any female in the kingdom, nor do I think itlike a gentlewoman to have more. Besides, if you ally yourself in sucha manner as I shall approve and recommend, you will, in all probability,find already collected more books than there can ever be any possibleoccasion for you to look into. And let me counsel you to remember thata lady, whether so called from birth or only from fortune, should neverdegrade herself by being put on a level with writers, and such sort ofpeople."
Cecilia thanked him for his advice, but confessed that upon the presentoccasion it came too late, as the books were now actually in her ownpossession.
"And have you taken," cried he, "such a measure as this withoutconsulting me? I thought I had assured you my opinion was always at yourservice when you were in any dilemma."
"Yes, Sir," answered Cecilia; "but I knew how much you were occupied,and wished to avoid taking up your t
ime."
"I cannot blame your modesty," he replied, "and therefore, as you havecontracted the debt, you are, in honour, bound to pay it. Mr Briggs,however, has the entire management of your fortune, my many avocationsobliging me to decline so laborious a trust; apply, therefore, to him,and, as things are situated, I will make no opposition to your demand."
"I have already, Sir," said Cecilia, "spoke to Mr Briggs, but--"
"You went to him first, then?" interrupted Mr Delvile, with a look ofmuch displeasure.
"I was unwilling, Sir, to trouble you till I found it unavoidable." Shethen acquainted him with Mr Briggs' refusal, and entreated he woulddo her the favour to intercede in her behalf, that the money might nolonger be denied her.
Every word she spoke his pride seemed rising to resent, and when, shehad done, after regarding her some time with apparent indignation, hesaid, "_I_ intercede! _I_ become an agent!"
Cecilia, amazed to find him thus violently irritated, made a veryearnest apology for her request; but without paying her any attention,he walked up and down the room, exclaiming, "an agent! and to MrBriggs!--This is an affront I could never have expected! why did Idegrade myself by accepting this humiliating office? I ought to haveknown better!" Then, turning to Cecilia, "Child," he added, "for whom isit you take me, and for what?"
Cecilia again, though affronted in her turn, began some protestations ofrespect; but haughtily interrupting her, he said, "If of me, and of myrank in life you judge by Mr Briggs or by Mr Harrel, I may be subject toproposals such as these every day; suffer me, therefore, for your betterinformation, to hint to you, that the head of an ancient and honourablehouse, is apt to think himself somewhat superior to people but justrising from dust and obscurity."
Thunderstruck by this imperious reproof, she could attempt no furthervindication; but when he observed her consternation, he was somewhatappeased, and hoping he had now impressed her with a proper sense of hisdignity, he more gently said, "You did not, I believe, intend to insultme."
"Good Heaven, Sir; no!" cried Cecilia, "nothing was more distant frommy thoughts: if my expressions have been faulty, it has been wholly fromignorance."
"Well, well, we will think then no more of it."
She then said she would no longer detain him, and, without daring toagain mention her petition, she wished him good morning.
He suffered her to go, yet, as she left the room, graciously said,"Think no more of my displeasure, for it is over: I see you were notaware of the extraordinary thing you proposed. I am sorry I cannotpossibly assist you; on any other occasion you may depend upon myservices; but you know Mr Briggs, you have seen him yourself,--judge,then, how a man of any fashion is to accommodate himself with such aperson!"
Cecilia concurred, and, courtsying, took her leave.
"Ah!" thought she, in her way home, "how happy is it for me that Ifollowed the advice of Mr Monckton! else I had surely made interest tobecome an inmate of that house, and then indeed, as he wisely foresaw,I should inevitably have been overwhelmed by this pompous insolence! nofamily, however amiable, could make amends for such a master of it."