CHAPTER iii
AN ADMONITION.
The Harrels and Mr Arnott waited the return of Cecilia with the utmostimpatience; she told them with much concern the failure of her embassy,which Mr Harrel heard with visible resentment and discontent, while MrArnott, entreating him not to think of it, again made an offer of hisservices, and declared he would disregard all personal convenience forthe pleasure of making him and his sister easy.
Cecilia was much mortified that she had not the power to act the samepart, and asked Mr Harrel whether he believed his own influence with MrBriggs would be more successful.
"No, no," answered he, "the old curmudgeon would but the rather refuse.I know his reason, and therefore am sure all pleas will be vain. He hasdealings in the alley, and I dare say games with your money as if itwere his own. There is, indeed, one way--but I do not think you wouldlike it--though I protest I hardly know why not--however, 'tis as welllet alone."
Cecilia insisted upon hearing what he meant, and, after somehesitation, he hinted that there were means by which, with very littleinconvenience, she might borrow the money.
Cecilia, with that horror natural to all unpractised minds at the firstidea of contracting a voluntary debt, started at this suggestion, andseemed very ill disposed to listen to it. Mr Harrel, perceiving herrepugnance, turned to Mr Arnott, and said, "Well, my good brother, Ihardly know how to suffer you to sell out at such a loss, but yet, mypresent necessity is so urgent--"
"Don't mention it," cried Mr Arnott, "I am very sorry I let you knowit; be certain, however, that while I have anything, it is yours and mysister's."
The two gentlemen we then retiring together; but Cecilia, shocked for MrArnott, though unmoved by Mr Harrel, stopt them to enquire what was theway by which it was meant she could borrow the money?
Mr Harrel seemed averse to answer, but she would not be refused; andthen he mentioned a Jew, of whose honesty he had made undoubted trial,and who, as she was so near being of age, would accept very triflinginterest for whatever she should like to take up.
The heart of Cecilia recoiled at the very mention of a _Jew_, and_taking up money upon interest_; but, impelled strongly by her owngenerosity to emulate that of Mr Arnott, she agreed, after somehesitation, to have recourse to this method.
Mr Harrel then made some faint denials, and Mr Arnott protested he hada thousand times rather sell out at any discount, than consent to hertaking such a measure; but, when her first reluctance was conquered, allthat he urged served but to shew his worthiness in a stronger light, andonly increased her desire of saving him from such repeated imposition.
Her total ignorance in what manner to transact this business, made hernext put it wholly into the hands of Mr Harrel, whom she begged to takeup 600 pounds, upon such terms as he thought equitable, and to which,what ever they might be, she would sign her name.
He seemed somewhat surprised at the sum, but without any question orobjection undertook the commission: and Cecilia would not lessen it,because unwilling to do more for the security of the luxurious MrHarrel, than for the distresses of the laborious Hills.
Nothing could be more speedy than the execution of this affair, MrHarrel was diligent and expert, the whole was settled that morning, and,giving to the Jew her bond for the payment at the interest he required,she put into the hands of Mr Harrel L350, for which he gave his receipt,and she kept the rest for her own purposes.
She intended the morning after this transaction to settle her accountwith the bookseller. When she went into the parlour to breakfast,she was somewhat surprised to see Mr Harrel seated there, in earnestdiscourse with his wife. Fearful of interrupting a _tete-a-tete_ souncommon, she would have retired, but Mr Harrel, calling after her,said, "O pray come in! I am only telling Priscilla a piece of my usualill luck. You must know I happen to be in immediate want of L200, thoughonly for three or four days, and I sent to order honest old Aaron tocome hither directly with the money, but it so happens that he went outof town the moment he had done with us yesterday, and will not be backagain this week. Now I don't believe there is another Jew in the kingdomwho will let me have money upon the same terms; they are such notoriousrascals, that I hate the very thought of employing them."
Cecilia, who could not but understand what this meant, was too muchdispleased both by his extravagance and his indelicacy, to feel at allinclined to change the destination of the money she had just received;and therefore coolly agreed that it was unfortunate, but added nothingmore.
"O, it is provoking indeed," cried he, "for the extra-interest I mustpay one of those extortioners is absolutely so much money thrown away."
Cecilia, still without noticing these hints, began her breakfast. MrHarrel then said he would take his tea with them: and, while he wasbuttering some dry toast, exclaimed, as if from sudden recollection, "OLord, now I think of it, I believe, Miss Beverley, you can lend me thismoney yourself for a day or two. The moment old Aaron comes to town, Iwill pay you."
Cecilia, whose generosity, however extensive, was neither thoughtlessnor indiscriminate, found something so repulsive in this grossprocedure, that instead of assenting to his request with her usualalacrity, she answered very gravely that the money she had just receivedwas already appropriated to a particular purpose, and she knew not howto defer making use of it.
Mr Harrel was extremely chagrined by this reply, which was by no meanswhat he expected; but, tossing down a dish of tea, he began humming anair, and soon recovered his usual unconcern.
In a few minutes, ringing his bell, he desired a servant to go to MrZackery, and inform him that he wanted to speak with him immediately.
"And now," said he, with a look in which vexation seemed struggling withcarelessness, "the thing is done! I don't like, indeed, to get into suchhands, for 'tis hard ever to get out of them when once one begins,--andhitherto I have kept pretty clear. But there's no help for it--MrArnott cannot just now assist me--and so the thing must take its course.Priscilla, why do you look so grave?"
"I am thinking how unlucky it is my Brother should happen to be unableto lend you this money."
"O, don't think about it; I shall get rid of the man very soon I daresay--I hope so, at least--I am sure I mean it."
Cecilia now grew a little disturbed; she looked at Mrs. Harrel, whoseemed also uneasy, and then, with some hesitation, said "Have youreally never, Sir, employed this man before?"
"Never in my life: never any but old Aaron. I dread the whole race;I have a sort of superstitious notion that if once I get into theirclutches, I shall never be my own man again; and that induced me to begyour assistance. However, 'tis no great matter."
She then began to waver; she feared there might be future mischiefas well as present inconvenience, in his applying to new usurers, andknowing she had now the power to prevent him, thought herself half cruelin refusing to exert it. She wished to consult Mr. Monckton, but foundit necessary to take her measures immediately, as the Jew was alreadysent for, and must in a few moments be either employed or discarded.
Much perplext how to act, between a desire of doing good, and a fearof encouraging evil, she weighed each side hastily, but while stilluncertain which ought to preponderate, her kindness for Mrs. Harrelinterfered, and, in the hope of rescuing her husband from further badpractices, she said she would postpone her own business for the few dayshe mentioned, rather than see him compelled to open any new account withso dangerous a set of men.
He thanked her in his usual negligent manner, and accepting the 200pounds, gave her his receipt for it, and a promise she should be paid ina week.
Mrs. Harrel, however, seemed more grateful, and with many embraces spokeher sense of this friendly good nature. Cecilia, happy from believingshe had revived in her some spark of sensibility, determined toavail herself of so favourable a symptom, and enter at once upon thedisagreeable task she had set herself, of representing to her the dangerof her present situation.
As soon, therefore, as breakfast was done, and Mr Arnott, who came inbe
fore it was over, was gone, with a view to excite her attention byraising her curiosity, she begged the favour of a private conference inher own room, upon matters of some importance.
She began with hoping that the friendship in which they had so longlived would make her pardon the liberty she was going to take, and whichnothing less than their former intimacy, joined to strong apprehensionsfor her future welfare, could authorise; "But oh Priscilla!" shecontinued, "with open eyes to see your danger, yet not warn you ofit, would be a reserve treacherous in a friend, and cruel even in afellow-creature."
"What danger?" cried Mrs Harrel, much alarmed, "do you think me ill? doI look consumptive?"
"Yes, consumptive indeed!" said Cecilia, "but not, I hope, in yourconstitution."
And then, with all the tenderness in her power, she came to the point,and conjured her without delay to retrench her expences, and change herthoughtless way of life for one more considerate and domestic.
Mrs Harrel, with much simplicity, assured her _she did nothing butwhat every body else did_, and that it was quite impossible for her to_appear in the world_ in any other manner.
"But how are you to appear hereafter?" cried Cecilia, "if now you livebeyond your income, you must consider that in time your income by suchdepredations will be exhausted."
"But I declare to you," answered Mrs Harrel, "I never run in debtfor more than half a year, for as soon as I receive my own money, Igenerally pay it away every shilling: and so borrow what I want till payday comes round again."
"And that," said Cecilia, "seems a method expressly devised for keepingyou eternally comfortless: pardon me, however, for speaking so openly,but I fear Mr Harrel himself must be even still less attentive andaccurate in his affairs, or he could not so frequently be embarrassed.And what is to be the result? look but, my dear Priscilla, a littleforward, and you will tremble at the prospect before you!"
Mrs Harrel seemed frightened at this speech, and begged to know what shewould have them do?
Cecilia then, with equal wisdom and friendliness, proposed a generalreform in the household, the public and private expences of both; sheadvised that a strict examination might be made into the state of theiraffairs, that all their bills should be called in, and faithfully paid,and that an entire new plan of life should be adopted, according to thesituation of their fortune and income when cleared of all incumbrances.
"Lord, my dear!" exclaimed Mrs Harrel, with a look of astonishment, "whyMr Harrel would no more do all this than fly! If I was only to make sucha proposal, I dare say he would laugh in my face."
"And why?"
"Why?--why because it would seem such an odd thing--it's what nobodythinks of--though I am sure I am very much obliged to you for mentioningit. Shall we go down stairs? I think I heard somebody come in.
"No matter who comes in," said Cecilia, "reflect for a moment upon myproposal, and, at least, if you disapprove it, suggest something moreeligible."
"Oh, it's a very good proposal, that I agree," said Mrs Harrel, lookingvery weary, "but only the thing is it's quite impossible."
"Why so? why is it impossible?"
"Why because--dear, I don't know--but I am sure it is."
"But what is your reason? What makes you sure of it?"
"Lord, I can't tell--but I know it is--because--I am very certain itis."
Argument such as this, though extremely fatiguing to the understandingof Cecilia, had yet no power to _blunt her purpose_: she warmlyexpostulated against the weakness of her defence, strongly representedthe imprudence of her conduct, and exhorted her by every tie of justice,honour and discretion to set about a reformation.
"Why what can I do?" cried Mrs Harrel, impatiently, "one must live alittle like other people. You would not have me stared at, I suppose;and I am sure I don't know what I do that every body else does not dotoo."
"But were it not better," said Cecilia, with more energy, "to think lessof _other people_, and more of _yourself?_ to consult your own fortune,and your own situation in life, instead of being blindly guided by thoseof _other people_? If, indeed, _other people_ would be responsible foryour losses, for the diminution of your wealth, and for the disorderof your affairs, then might you rationally make their way of life theexample of yours: but you cannot flatter yourself such will be the case;you know better; your losses, your diminished fortune, your embarrassedcircumstances will be all your own! pitied, perhaps, by some, but blamedby more, and assisted by none!"
"Good Lord, Miss Beverley!" cried Mrs Harrel, starting, "you talk justas if we were ruined!"
"I mean not that," replied Cecilia, "but I would fain, by pointingout your danger, prevail with you to prevent in time so dreadful acatastrophe."
Mrs Harrel, more affronted than alarmed, heard this answer with muchdispleasure, and after a sullen hesitation, peevishly said, "I must ownI don't take it very kind of you to say such frightful things to me; Iam sure we only live like the rest of the world, and I don't see why aman of Mr Harrel's fortune should live any worse. As to his having nowand then a little debt or two, it is nothing but what every body elsehas. You only think it so odd, because you a'n't used to it: but you arequite mistaken if you suppose he does not mean to pay, for he told methis morning that as soon as ever he receives his rents, he intends todischarge every bill he has in the world."
"I am very glad to hear it," answered Cecilia, "and I heartily wish hemay have the resolution to adhere to his purpose. I feared youwould think me impertinent, but you do worse in believing me unkind:friendship and good-will could alone have induced me to hazard what Ihave said to you. I must, however, have done; though I cannot forbearadding that I hope what has already passed will sometimes recur to you."
They then separated; Mrs Harrel half angry at remonstrances she thoughtonly censorious, and Cecilia offended at her pettishness and folly,though grieved at her blindness.
She was soon, however, recompensed for this vexation by a visit fromMrs Delvile, who, finding her alone, sat with her some time, and by herspirit, understanding and elegance, dissipated all her chagrin.
From another circumstance, also, she received much pleasure, though alittle perplexity; Mr Arnott brought her word that Mr Belfield, almostquite well, had actually left his lodgings, and was gone into thecountry.
She now half suspected that the account of his illness given her byyoung Delvile, was merely the effect of his curiosity to discover hersentiments of him; yet when she considered how foreign to his characterappeared every species of artifice, she exculpated him from the design,and concluded that the impatient spirit of Belfield had hurried himaway, when really unfit for travelling. She had no means, however, tohear more of him now he had quitted the town, and therefore, thoughuneasy, she was compelled to be patient.
In the evening she had again a visit from Mr Monckton, who, though hewas now acquainted how much she was at home, had the forbearance toavoid making frequent use of that knowledge, that his attendance mightescape observation.
Cecilia, as usual, spoke to him of all her affairs with the utmostopenness; and as her mind was now chiefly occupied by her apprehensionsfor the Harrels, she communicated to him the extravagance of whichthey were guilty, and hinted at the distress that from time to time itoccasioned; but the assistance she had afforded them her own delicacyprevented her mentioning.
Mr Monckton scrupled not from this account instantly to pronounce Harrela _ruined man_; and thinking Cecilia, from her connection with him,in much danger of being involved in his future difficulties, he mostearnestly exhorted her to suffer no inducement to prevail with herto advance him any money, confidently affirming she would have littlechance of being ever repaid.
Cecilia listened to this charge with much alarm, but readily promisedfuture circumspection. She confessed to him the conference she hadhad in the morning with Mrs Harrel, and after lamenting her determinedneglect of her affairs, she added, "I cannot but own that my esteem forher, even more than my affection, has lessened almost every day sinceI have been in her ho
use; but this morning, when I ventured to speak toher with earnestness, I found her powers of reasoning so weak, and herinfatuation to luxury and expence so strong, that I have ever since feltashamed of my own discernment in having formerly selected her for myfriend."
"When you gave her that title," said Mr Monckton, "you had little choicein your power; her sweetness and good-nature attracted you; childhoodis never troubled with foresight, and youth is seldom difficult: shewas lively and pleasing, you were generous and affectionate; youracquaintance with her was formed while you were yet too young to knowyour own worth, your fondness of her grew from habit, and before theinferiority of her parts had weakened your regard, by offending yourjudgment, her early marriage separated you from her entirely. But nowyou meet again the scene is altered; three years of absence spent inthe cultivation of an understanding naturally of the first order, byencreasing your wisdom, has made you more fastidious; while the sametime spent by her in mere idleness and shew, has hurt her disposition,without adding to her knowledge, and robbed her of her naturalexcellencies, without enriching her with acquired ones. You see her nowwith impartiality, for you see her almost as a stranger, and all thosedeficiencies which retirement and inexperience had formerly concealed,her vanity, and her superficial acquaintance with the world, have nowrendered glaring. But folly weakens all bands: remember, therefore, ifyou would form a solid friendship, to consult not only the heart but thehead, not only the temper, but the understanding."
"Well, then," said Cecilia, "at least it must be confessed I havejudiciously chosen _you_!"
"You have, indeed, done me the highest honour," he answered.
They then talked of Belfield, and Mr Monckton confirmed the accountof Mr Arnott, that he had left London in good health. After which, heenquired if she had seen any thing more of the Delviles?
"Yes," said Cecilia, "Mrs. Delvile called upon me this morning. She is adelightful woman; I am sorry you know her not enough to do her justice."
"Is she civil to you?"
"Civil? she is all kindness!"
"Then depend upon it she has something in view: whenever that is not thecase she is all insolence. And Mr Delvile,--pray what do you think ofhim?"
"O, I think him insufferable! and I cannot sufficiently thank you forthat timely caution which prevented my change of habitation. I would notlive under the same roof with him for the world!"
"Well, and do you not now begin also to see the son properly?"
"Properly? I don't understand you."
"Why as the very son of such parents, haughty and impertinent."
"No, indeed; he has not the smallest resemblance [to] his father, andif he resembles his mother, it is only what every one must wish whoimpartially sees her."
"You know not that family. But how, indeed, should you, when they arein a combination to prevent your getting that knowledge? They have alltheir designs upon you, and if you are not carefully upon your guard,you will be the dupe to them."
"What can you possibly mean?"
"Nothing but what every body else must immediately see; they have agreat share of pride, and a small one of wealth; you seem by fortuneto be flung in their way, and doubtless they mean not to neglect soinviting an opportunity of repairing their estates."
"Indeed you are mistaken; I am certain they have no such intention: onthe contrary, they all even teasingly persist in thinking me alreadyengaged elsewhere."
She then gave him a history of their several suspicions.
"The impertinence of report," she added, "has so much convinced themthat Sir Robert Floyer and Mr Belfield fought merely as rivals, thatI can only clear myself of partiality for one of them, to have itinstantly concluded I feel it for the other. And, far from seeminghurt that I appear to be disposed of, Mr Delvile openly seconds thepretensions of Sir Robert, and his son officiously persuades me that Iam already Mr Belfield's."
"Tricks, nothing but tricks to discover your real situation."
He then gave her some general cautions to be upon her guard againsttheir artifices, and changing the subject, talked, for the rest of hisvisit, upon matters of general entertainment.