CHAPTER xi. -- A PERSECUTION.
The next morning by five o'clock Mrs Harrel came into Cecilia's roomto know the result of her deliberation; and Cecilia, with that gracefulreadiness which accompanied all her kind offices, instantly assured herthe thousand pound should be her own, if she would consent to seek somequiet retreat, and receive it in small sums, of fifty or one hundredpounds at a time, which should be carefully transmitted, and which,by being delivered to herself, might secure better treatment from MrHarrel, and be a motive to revive his care and affection.
She flew, much delighted, with this proposal to her husband; butpresently, and with a dejected look, returning, said Mr Harrel protestedhe could not possibly set out without first receiving the money. "Ishall go myself, therefore," said she, "to my brother after breakfast,for he will not, I see, unkind as he is grown, come to me; and if I donot succeed with him, I believe I shall never come back!"
To this Cecilia, offended and disappointed, answered "I am sorry for MrArnott, but for myself I have done!"
Mrs Harrel then left her, and she arose to make immediate preparationsfor her removal to St James's-square, whither, with all the speed in herpower, she sent her books, her trunks, and all that belonged to her.
When she was summoned down stairs, she found, for the first time,Mr Harrel breakfasting at the same table with his wife; they seemedmutually out of humour and comfortless, nothing hardly was spoken, andlittle was swallowed; Mr Harrel, however, was civil, but his wife wastotally silent, and Cecilia the whole time was planning how to take herleave.
When the tea things were removed, Mr Harrel said, "You have not, I hope,Miss Beverley, quite determined upon this strange scheme?"
"Indeed I have, Sir," she answered, "and already I have sent myclothes."
At this information he seemed thunderstruck; but, after somewhatrecovering, said with much bitterness, "Well, madam, at least may Irequest you will stay here till the evening?"
"No, Sir," answered she coolly, "I am going instantly."
"And will you not," said he, with yet greater asperity, "amuse yourselffirst with seeing bailiffs take possession of my house, and your friendPriscilla follow me to jail?"
"Good God, Mr Harrel!" exclaimed Cecilia, with uplifted hands, "is thisa question, is this behaviour I have merited!"
"O no!" cried he with quickness, "should I once think that way--" thenrising and striking his forehead, he walked about the room.
Mrs Harrel arose too, and weeping violently went away.
"Will you at least," said Cecilia, when she was gone, "till your affairsare settled, leave Priscilla with me? When I go into my own house, sheshall accompany me, and mean time Mr Arnott's I am sure will gladly beopen to her."
"No, no," answered he, "she deserves no such indulgence; she has not anyreason to complain, she has been as negligent, as profuse, as expensiveas myself; she has practised neither oeconomy nor self-denial, she hasneither thought of me nor my affairs, nor is she now afflicted at anything but the loss of that affluence she has done her best towardsdiminishing.
"All recrimination," said Cecilia, "were vain, or what might not MrsHarrel urge in return! but let us not enlarge upon so ungrateful asubject, the wisest and the happiest scheme now were mutually and kindlyto console each other."
"Consolation and kindness," cried he, with abruptness, "are out of thequestion. I have ordered a post chaise to be here at night, and iftill then you will stay, I will promise to release you without furtherpetition if not, eternal destruction be my portion if I live to see thescene which your removal will occasion!"
"My removal," cried Cecilia, shuddering, "good heaven, and how can myremoval be of such dreadful consequence?"
"Ask me not," cried he, fiercely, "questions or reasons now; the crisisis at hand, and you will soon, happen what may, know all; mean time whatI have said is a fact, and immutable; and you must hasten my end, orgive me a chance for avoiding it, as you think fit. I scarce care atthis instant which way you decide; remember, however, all I ask of youis to defer your departure; what else I have to hope is from Mr Arnott."
He then left the room.
Cecilia now was again a coward! In vain she called to her supportthe advice, the prophesies, the cautions of Mr Monckton, in vain sherecollected the impositions she had already seen practised, for neitherthe warnings of her counsellor, nor the lessons of her own experience,were proofs against the terrors which threats so desperate inspired; andthough more than once she determined to fly at all events from a tyrannyhe had so little right to usurp, the mere remembrance of the words ifyou stay not till night I will not live, robbed her of all courage; andhowever long she had prepared herself for this very attack, when themoment arrived, its power over her mind was too strong for resistance.
While this conflict between fear and resolution was still undecided, herservant brought her the following letter from Mr Arnott.
To Miss Beverley, Portman-square.
June 13th, 1779.
MADAM,--Determined to obey those commands which you had the goodnessto honour me with, I have absented myself from town till Mr Harrel issettled; for though I am as sensible of your wisdom as of your beauty,I find myself too weak to bear the distress of my unhappy sister, andtherefore I run from the sight, nor shall any letter or message followme, unless it comes from Miss Beverley herself, lest she should infuture refuse the only favour I dare presume to solicit, that ofsometimes deigning to honour with her directions, the most humble anddevoted of her servants, J. ARNOTT.
In the midst of her apprehensions for herself and her own interest,Cecilia could not forbear rejoicing that Mr Arnott, at least, hadescaped the present storm; yet she was certain it would fall the moreheavily upon herself; and dreaded the sight of Mrs Harrel after theshock which this flight would occasion.
Her expectations were but too quickly fulfilled; Mrs Harrel in a shorttime after rushed wildly into the room, calling out "My brother is gone!he has left me for ever! Oh save me, Miss Beverley, save me from abuseand insult!" And she wept with so much violence she could utter nothingmore.
Cecilia, quite tortured by this persecution, faintly asked what shecould do for her?
"Send," cried she, "to my brother, and beseech him not to abandon me!send to him, and conjure him to advance this thousand pound!--the chaiseis already ordered,--Mr Harrel is fixed upon going,--yet he says withoutthat money we must both starve in a strange land,--O send to my cruelbrother! he has left word that nothing must follow him that does notcome from you."
"For the world, then," cried Cecilia, "would I not baffle hisdiscretion! indeed you must submit to your fate, indeed Mrs Harrel youmust endeavour to bear it better."
Mrs Harrel, shedding a flood of tears, declared she would try to followher advice, but again besought her in the utmost agony to send afterher brother, protesting she did not think even her life would be safein making so long a journey with Mr Harrel in his present state of mind;his character, she said, was totally changed, his gaiety, good humour,and sprightliness were turned into roughness and moroseness, and, sincehis great losses at play, he was grown so fierce and furious, that tooppose him even in a trifle, rendered him quite outrageous in passion.
Cecilia, though truly concerned, and almost melted, yet refused tointerfere with Mr Arnott, and even thought it but justice to acknowledgeshe had advised his retreat.
"And can you have been so cruel?" cried Mrs Harrel, with stillencreasing violence of sorrow, "to rob me of my only friend, to depriveme of my Brother's affection, at the very time I am forced out of thekingdom, with a husband who is ready to murder me, and who says he hatesthe sight of me, and all because I cannot get him this fatal, fatalmoney!--O Miss Beverley, how could I have thought to have had such anoffice from you?"
Cecilia was beginning a justification, when a message came from MrHarrel, desiring to see his wife immediately.
Mrs Harrel, in great terror, cast herself at Cecilia's feet, andclinging to her knees, called out "I dare not go to him! I dare not
goto him! he wants to know my success, and when he hears my brother is runaway, I am sure he will kill me!--Oh Miss Beverley, how could you sendhim away? how could you be so inhuman as to leave me to the rage of MrHarrel?"
Cecilia, distressed and trembling herself, conjured her to rise andbe consoled; but Mrs Harrel, weak and frightened, could only weep andsupplicate; "I don't ask you," she cried, "to give the money yourself,but only to send for my brother, that he may protect me, and beg MrHarrel not to treat me so cruelly,--consider but what a long, longjourney I am going to make! consider how often you used to say you wouldlove me for ever! consider you have robbed me of the tenderest brotherin the world!--Oh Miss Beverley, send for him back, or be a sister to meyourself, and let not your poor Priscilla leave her native land withouthelp or pity!"
Cecilia, wholly overcome, now knelt too, and embracing her with tears,said "Oh Priscilla, plead and reproach no more! what you wish shall beyours,--I will send for your brother,--I will do what you please!"
"Now you are my friend indeed!" cried Mrs Harrel, "let me but see mybrother, and his heart will yield to my distress, and he will soften MrHarrel by giving his unhappy sister this parting bounty."
Cecilia then took a pen in her hand to write to Mr Arnott; but struckalmost in the same moment with a notion of treachery in calling him froma retreat which her own counsel made him seek, professedly to exposehim to a supplication which from his present situation might lead himto ruin, she hastily flung it from her, and exclaimed "No, excellent MrArnott, I will not so unworthily betray you!"
"And can you, Miss Beverley, can you at last," cried Mrs Harrel, "be sobarbarous as to retract?"
"No, my poor Priscilla," answered Cecilia, "I cannot so cruellydisappoint you; my pity shall however make no sufferer but myself,--Icannot send for Mr Arnott,--from me you must have the money, and mayit answer the purpose for which it is given, and restore to you thetenderness of your husband, and the peace of your own heart!"
Priscilla, scarce waiting to thank her, flew with this intelligence toMr Harrel; who with the same impetuosity, scarce waiting to say he wasglad of it, ran himself to bring the Jew from whom the money was tobe procured. Every thing was soon settled, Cecilia had no time forretracting, and repentance they had not the delicacy to regard; again,therefore, she signed her name for paying the principal and interest ofanother 1000l. within ten days after she was of age; and havingtaken the money, she accompanied Mr and Mrs Harrel into another room.Presenting it then with an affecting solemnity to Mrs Harrel, "accept,Priscilla," she cried, "this irrefragable mark of the sincerity of myfriendship; but suffer me at the same time to tell you, it is thelast to so considerable an amount I ever mean to offer; receive it,therefore, with kindness, but use it with discretion."
She then embraced her, and eager now to avoid acknowledgment, as beforeshe had been to escape importunities, she left them together.
The soothing recompense of succouring benevolence, followed not thisgift, nor made amends for this loss; perplexity and uneasiness, regretand resentment, accompanied the donation, and rested upon her mind; shefeared she had done wrong; she was certain Mr Monckton would blameher; he knew not the persecution she suffered, nor would he make anyallowance for the threats which alarmed, or the intreaties which meltedher.
Far other had been her feelings at the generosity she exerted for theHills; no doubts then tormented her, and no repentance embittered herbeneficence. Their worth was without suspicion, and their misfortuneswere not of their own seeking; the post in which they had been stationedthey had never deserted, and the poverty into which they had sunk wasaccidental and unavoidable.
But here, every evil had been wantonly incurred by vanity andlicentiousness, and shamelessly followed by injustice and fraud; thedisturbance of her mind only increased by reflection, for when therights of the creditors with their injuries occurred to her, sheenquired of herself by what title or equity, she had so liberallyassisted Mr Harrel in eluding their claims, and flying the punishmentwhich the law would inflict.
Startled by this consideration, she most severely reproached herself fora compliance of which she had so lightly weighed the consequences, andthought with the utmost dismay, that while she had flattered herselfshe was merely indulging the dictates of humanity, she might perhaps beaccused by the world as an abettor of guile and injustice.
"And yet," she continued, "whom can I essentially have injured butmyself? would his creditors have been benefitted by my refusal? hadI braved the execution of his dreadful threat, and quitted his housebefore I was wrought upon to assist him, would his suicide have lessenedtheir losses, or secured their demands? even if he had no intention butto intimidate me, who will be wronged by my enabling him to go abroad,or who would be better paid were he seized and confined? All thatremains of his shattered fortune may still be claimed, though I havesaved him from a lingering imprisonment, desperate for himself and hiswife, and useless for those he has plundered."
And thus, now soothed by the purity of her intentions, and now uneasyfrom the rectitude of her principles, she alternately rejoiced andrepined at what she had done.
At dinner Mr Harrel was all civility and good humour. He warmly thankedCecilia for the kindness she had shewn him, and gaily added, "You shouldbe absolved from all the mischief you may do for a twelvemonth to come,in reward for the preservation from mischief which you have this dayeffected."
"The preservation," said Cecilia, "will I hope be for many days. Buttell me, sir, exactly, at what time I may acquaint Mrs Delvile I shallwait upon her?"
"Perhaps," he answered, "by eight o'clock; perhaps by nine; you will notmind half an hour?"
"Certainly not;" she answered, unwilling by disputing about a trifleto diminish his satisfaction in her assistance. She wrote, therefore,another note to Mrs Delvile, desiring she would not expect her till nearten o'clock, and promising to account and apologize for these seemingcaprices when she had the honour of seeing her.
The rest of the afternoon she spent wholly in exhorting Mrs Harrel toshew more fortitude, and conjuring her to study nothing while abroadbut oeconomy, prudence and housewifery; a lesson how hard for thethoughtless and negligent Priscilla! she heard the advice withrepugnance, and only answered it with helpless complaints that she knewnot how to spend less money than she had always done.
After tea, Mr Harrel, still in high spirits, went out, entreatingCecilia to stay with Priscilla till his return, which he promised shouldbe early.
Nine o'clock, however, came, and he did not appear; Cecilia then grewanxious to keep her appointment with Mrs Delvile; but ten o'clock alsocame, and still Mr Harrel was absent.
She then determined to wait no longer, and rang her bell for her servantand chair; but when Mrs Harrel desired to be informed the moment thatMr Harrel returned, the man said he had been come home more than half anhour.
Much surprised, she enquired where he was.
"In his own room, madam, and gave orders not to be disturbed."
Cecilia, who was not much pleased at this account, was easily persuadedto stay a few minutes longer; and, fearing some new evil, she was goingto send him a message, by way of knowing how he was employed, when hecame himself into the room.
"Well, ladies," he cried in a hurrying manner, "who is for Vauxhall?"
"Vauxhall!" repeated Mrs Harrel, while Cecilia, staring, perceived inhis face a look of perturbation that extremely alarmed her.
"Come, come," he cried, "we have no time to lose. A hackney coach willserve us; we won't wait for our own."
"Have you then given up going abroad?" said Mrs Harrel.
"No, no; where can we go from half so well? let us live while we live! Ihave ordered a chaise to be in waiting there. Come, let's be gone."
"First," said Cecilia, "let me wish you both good night."
"Will you not go with me?" cried Mrs Harrel, "how can I go to Vauxhallalone?"
"You are not alone," answered she; "but if I go, how am I to return?"
"She shall return with y
ou," cried Mr Harrel, "if you desire it; youshall return together."
Mrs Harrel, starting up in rapture, called out "Oh Mr Harrel, will youindeed leave me in England?"
"Yes," answered he reproachfully, "if you will make a better friend thanyou have made a wife, and if Miss Beverley is content to take charge ofyou."
"What can all this mean?" exclaimed Cecilia, "is it possible you can beserious? Are you really going yourself, and will you suffer Mrs Harrelto remain?"
"I am," he answered, "and I will."
Then ringing the bell, he ordered a hackney coach.
Mrs Harrel was scarce able to breathe for extacy, nor Cecilia foramazement; while Mr Harrel, attending to neither of them, walked forsome time silently about the room.
"But how," cried Cecilia at last, "can I possibly go? Mrs Delvile mustalready be astonished at my delay, and if I disappoint her again shewill hardly receive me."
"O make not any difficulties," cried Mrs Harrel in an agony; "if MrHarrel will let me stay, sure you will not be so cruel as to opposehim?"
"But why," said Cecilia, "should either of us go to Vauxhall? surelythat is no place for a parting so melancholy."
A servant then came in, and said the hackney coach was at the door.
Mr Harrel, starting at the sound, called out, "come, what do we waitfor? if we go not immediately, we may be prevented."
Cecilia then again wished them good night, protesting she could fail MrsDelvile no longer.
Mrs Harrel, half wild at this refusal, conjured her in the most franticmanner, to give way, exclaiming, "Oh cruel! cruel! to deny me this lastrequest! I will kneel to you day and night," sinking upon the groundbefore her, "and I will serve you as the humblest of your slaves, if youwill but be kind in this last instance, and save me from banishment andmisery!"
"Oh rise, Mrs Harrel," cried Cecilia, ashamed of her prostration, andshocked by her vehemence, "rise and let me rest!--it is painful to meto refuse, but to comply for ever in defiance of my judgment--Oh MrsHarrel, I know no longer what is kind or what is cruel, nor have I knownfor some time past right from wrong, nor good from evil!"
"Come," cried Mr Harrel impetuously, "I wait not another minute!"
"Leave her then with me!" said Cecilia, "I will perform my promise, MrArnott will I am sure hold his to be sacred, she shall now go with him,she shall hereafter come to me,--leave her but behind, and depend uponour care."
"No, no," cried he, with quickness, "I must take care of her myself. Ishall not carry her abroad with me, but the only legacy I can leave her,is a warning which I hope she will remember for ever. You, however, neednot go."
"What," cried Mrs Harrel, "leave me at Vauxhall, and yet leave mealone?"
"What of that?" cried he with fierceness, "do you not desire to be left?have you any regard for me? or for any thing upon earth but yourself!cease these vain clamours, and come, I insist upon it, this moment."
And then, with a violent oath, he declared he would be detained nolonger, and approached in great rage to seize her; Mrs Harrel shriekedaloud, and the terrified Cecilia exclaimed, "If indeed you are to partto-night, part not thus dreadfully!--rise, Mrs Harrel, and comply!--bereconciled, be kind to her, Mr Harrel!--and I will go with hermyself,--we will all go together!"
"And why," cried Mr Harrel, more gently yet with the utmost emotion,"why should you go!--you want no warning! you need no terror!--betterfar had you fly us, and my wife when I am set out may find you."
Mrs Harrel, however, suffered her not to recede; and Cecilia, thoughhalf distracted by the scenes of horror and perplexity in which she wasperpetually engaged, ordered her servant to acquaint Mrs Delvile she wasagain compelled to defer waiting upon her.
Mr Harrel then hurried them both into the coach, which he directed toVauxhall.
"Pray write to me when you are landed," said Mrs Harrel, who nowreleased from her personal apprehensions, began to feel some for herhusband.
He made not any answer. She then asked to what part of France he meantto go; but still he did not reply; and when she urged him by a thirdquestion, he told her in a rage to torment him no more.
During the rest of the ride not another word was said; Mrs Harrel wept,her husband guarded a gloomy silence, and Cecilia most unpleasantlypassed her time between anxious suspicions of some new scheme, and aterrified wonder in what all these transactions would terminate.