CHAPTER vi. -- A DISCUSSION.
The day past away, and Cecilia had yet written no answer; the eveningcame, and her resolution was still unfixed. Delvile, at length,was again announced; and though she dreaded trusting herself to hisentreaties, the necessity of hastening some decision deterred her fromrefusing to see him.
Mrs Charlton was with her when he entered the room; he attempted atfirst some general conversation, though the anxiety of his mind wasstrongly pictured upon his face. Cecilia endeavoured also to talk uponcommon topics, though her evident embarrassment spoke the absence of herthoughts.
Delvile at length, unable any longer to bear suspence, turned to MrsCharlton, and said, "You are probably acquainted, madam, with thepurport of the letter I had the honour of sending to Miss Beverley thismorning?"
"Yes, Sir," answered the old lady, "and you need desire little more thanthat her opinion of it may be as favourable as mine."
Delvile bowed and thanked her; and looking at Cecilia, to whom heventured not to speak, he perceived in her countenance a mixture ofdejection and confusion, that told him whatever might be her opinion, ithad by no means encreased her happiness.
"But why, Sir," said Mrs Charlton, "should you be thus sure of thedisapprobation of your friends? had you not better hear what they haveto say?"
"I know, madam, what they have to say," returned he; "for their languageand their principles have been invariable from my birth; to apply tothem, therefore, for a concession which I am certain they will notgrant, were only a cruel device to lay all my misery to their account."
"And if they are so perverse, they deserve from you nothing better,"said Mrs Charlton; "speak to them, however; you will then have done yourduty; and if they are obstinately unjust, you will have acquired a rightto act for yourself."
"To mock their authority," answered Delvile, "would be more offensivethan to oppose it; to solicit their approbation, and then act indefiance of it, might justly provoke their indignation.--No; if at lastI am reduced to appeal to them, by their decision I must abide."
To this Mrs Charlton could make no answer, and in a few minutes she leftthe room.
"And is such, also," said Delvile, "the opinion of Miss Beverley? hasshe doomed me to be wretched, and does she wish that doom to be signedby my nearest friends!"
"If your friends, Sir," said Cecilia, "are so undoubtedly inflexible, itwere madness, upon any plan, to risk their displeasure."
"To entreaty," he answered, "they will be inflexible, but not toforgiveness. My father, though haughty, dearly, even passionately lovesme; my mother, though high-spirited, is just, noble, and generous. Sheis, indeed, the most exalted of women, and her power over my mind Iam unaccustomed to resist. Miss Beverley alone seems born to be herdaughter--"
"No, no," interrupted Cecilia, "as her daughter she rejects me!"
"She loves, she adores you!" cried he warmly; "and were I not certainshe feels your excellencies as they ought to be felt, my venerationfor you both should even yet spare you my present supplication. But youwould become, I am certain, the first blessing of her life; in you shewould behold all the felicity of her son,--his restoration to health, tohis country, to his friends!"
"O Sir," cried Cecilia, with emotion, "how deep a trench of real miserydo you sink, in order to raise this pile of fancied happiness! But Iwill not be responsible for your offending such a mother; scarcelycan you honour her yourself more than I do; and I here declare mostsolemnly--"
"O stop!" interrupted Delvile, "and resolve not till you have heard me.Would you, were she no more, were my father also no more, would you yetpersist in refusing me?"
"Why should you ask me?" said Cecilia, blushing; "you would then be yourown agent, and perhaps--"
She hesitated, and Delvile vehemently exclaimed, "Oh make me not amonster! force me not to desire the death of the very beings by whom Ilive! weaken not the bonds of affection by which they are endeared tome, and compel me not to wish them no more as the sole barriers to myhappiness!"
"Heaven forbid!" cried Cecilia, "could I believe you so impious, Ishould suffer little indeed in desiring your eternal absence."
"Why then only upon their extinction must I rest my hope of yourfavour?"
Cecilia, staggered and distressed by this question, could make noanswer. Delvile, perceiving her embarrassment, redoubled his urgency;and before she had power to recollect herself, she had almost consentedto his plan, when Henrietta Belfield rushing into her memory, shehastily exclaimed, "One doubt there is, which I know not how to mention,but ought to have cleared up;--you are acquainted with--you rememberMiss Belfield?"
"Certainly; but what of Miss Belfield that can raise a doubt in the mindof Miss Beverley?"
Cecilia coloured, and was silent.
"Is it possible," continued he, "you could ever for an instantsuppose--but I cannot even name a supposition so foreign to allpossibility."
"She is surely very amiable?"
"Yes," answered he, "she is innocent, gentle, and engaging; and Iheartily wish she were in a better situation."
"Did you ever occasionally, or by any accident, correspond with her?"
"Never in my life."
"And were not your visits to the brother sometimes--"
"Have a care," interrupted he, laughing, "lest I reverse the question,and ask if your visits to the sister were not sometimes for the brother!But what does this mean? Could Miss Beverley imagine that after knowingher, the charms of Miss Belfield could put me in any danger?"
Cecilia, bound in delicacy and friendship not to betray the tender andtrusting Henrietta, and internally satisfied of his innocence by hisfrankness, evaded any answer; and would now have done with the subject;but Delvile, eager wholly to exculpate himself, though by no meansdispleased at an enquiry which shewed so much interest in hisaffections, continued his explanation.
"Miss Belfield has, I grant, an attraction in the simplicity of hermanners which charms by its singularity; her heart, too, seems allpurity, and her temper all softness. I have not, you find, been blind toher merit; on the contrary, I have both admired and pitied her. Butfar indeed is she removed from all chance of rivalry in my heart! Acharacter such as hers for a while is irresistibly alluring; but whenits novelty is over, simplicity uninformed becomes wearisome, andsoftness without dignity is too indiscriminate to give delight. We sighfor entertainment, when cloyed by mere sweetness; and heavily drags onthe load of life when the companion of our social hours wants spirit,intelligence, and cultivation. With Miss Beverley all these--"
"Talk not of all these," cried Cecilia, "when one single obstacle haspower to render them valueless."
"But now," cried he, "that obstacle is surmounted."
"Surmounted only for a moment! for even in your letter this morning youconfess the regret with which it fills you."
"And why should I deceive you? Why pretend to think with pleasure, oreven with indifference, of an obstacle which has had thus long the powerto make me miserable? But where is happiness without allay? Is perfectbliss the condition of humanity? Oh if we refuse to taste it till inits last state of refinement, how shall the cup of evil be ever from ourlips?"
"How indeed!" said Cecilia, with a sigh; "the regret, I believe, willremain eternally upon your mind, and she, perhaps, who should cause,might soon be taught to partake of it."
"O Miss Beverley! how have I merited this severity? Did I make myproposals lightly? Did I suffer my eagerness to conquer my reason? HaveI not, on the contrary, been steady and considerate? neither biassed bypassion nor betrayed by tenderness?"
"And yet in what," said Cecilia, "consists this boasted steadiness? Iperceived it indeed, at Delvile Castle, but here--"
"The pride of heart which supported me there," cried he, "will supportme no longer; what sustained my firmness, but your apparent severity?What enabled me to fly you, but your invariable coldness? The rigourwith which I trampled upon my feelings I thought fortitude andspirit,--but I knew not then the pitying sympathy of Cecilia!"
"O that you knew it not yet!" cried she, blushing; "before that fatalaccident you thought of me, I believe, in a manner far more honourable."
"Impossible! differently, I thought of you, but never, better, never sowell as now. I then represented you all lovely in beauty, all perfect ingoodness and virtue; but it was virtue in its highest majesty, not, asnow, blended with the softest sensibility."
"Alas!" said Cecilia, "how the portrait is faded!"
"No, it is but more from the life; it is the sublimity of an angel,mingled with all that is attractive in woman. But who is the friend wemay venture to trust? To whom may I give my bond? And from whom may Ireceive a treasure which for the rest of my life will constitute all itsfelicity?"
"Where can I," cried Cecilia, "find a friend, who, in this criticalmoment will instruct me how to act!"
"You will find one," answered he, "in your own bosom; ask but yourselfthis plain question; will any virtue be offended by your honouring mewith your hand?"
"Yes; duty will be offended, since it is contrary to the will of yourparents."
"But is there no time for emancipation? Am not I of an age to chusefor myself the partner of my life? Will not you in a few days be theuncontrolled mistress of your actions? Are we not both independent? Yourample fortune all your own, and the estates of my father so entailedthey must unavoidably be mine?"
"And are these," said Cecilia, "considerations to set us free from ourduty?"
"No, but they are circumstances to relieve us from slavery. Let me notoffend you if I am still more explicit. When no law, human or divine,can be injured by our union, when one motive of pride is all that can beopposed to a thousand motives of convenience and happiness, whyshould we both be made unhappy, merely lest that pride should lose itsgratification?"
This question, which so often and so angrily she had revolved in her ownmind, again silenced her; and Delvile, with the eagerness of approachingsuccess, redoubled his solicitations.
"Be mine," he cried, "sweetest Cecilia, and all will go well. To referme to my friends is, effectually, to banish me for ever. Spare me, then,the unavailing task; and save me from the resistless entreaties of amother, whose every desire I have held sacred, whose wish has beenmy law, and whose commands I have implicitly, invariably obeyed!Oh generously save me from the dreadful alternative of wounding hermaternal heart by a peremptory refusal, or of torturing my own withpangs to which it is unequal by an extorted obedience!"
"Alas!" cried Cecilia, "how utterly impossible I can relieve you!"
"And why? once mine, irrevocably mine---."
"No, that would but irritate,--and irritate past hope of pardon."
"Indeed you are mistaken; to your merit they are far from insensible,and your fortune is just what they wish. Trust me, therefore, when Iassure you that their displeasure, which both respect and justice willguard them from ever shewing you, will soon die wholly away. I speak notmerely from my hopes; in judging my own friends, I consider human naturein general. Inevitable evils are ever best supported. It is suspence,it is hope that make the food of misery; certainty is always endured,because known to be past amendment, and felt to give defiance tostruggling."
"And can you," cried Cecilia, "with reasoning so desperate be satisfied?
"In a situation so extraordinary as ours," answered he, "there is noother. The voice of the world at large will be all in our favour. Ourunion neither injures our fortunes, nor taints our morality; withthe character of each the other is satisfied, and both must be alikeexculpated from mercenary views of interest, or romantic contempt ofpoverty; what right have we, then, to repine at an objection which,however potent, is single? Surely none. Oh if wholly unchecked were thehappiness I now have in view, if no foul storm sometimes lowered overthe prospect, and for the moment obscured its brightness, how couldmy heart find room for joy so superlative? The whole world might riseagainst me as the first man in it who had nothing left to wish!"
Cecilia, whose own hopes aided this reasoning, found not much to opposeto it; and with little more of entreaty, and still less of argument,Delvile at length obtained her consent to his plan. Fearfully,indeed, and with unfeigned reluctance she gave it, but it was theonly alternative with a separation for-ever, to which she held not thenecessity adequate to the pain.
The thanks of Delvile were as vehement as had been his entreaties,which yet, however, were not at an end; the concession she had made wasimperfect, unless its performance were immediate, and he now endeavouredto prevail with her to be his before the expiration of a week.
Here, however, his task ceased to be difficult; Cecilia, as ingenuousby nature as she was honourable from principle, having once brought hermind to consent to his proposal, sought not by studied difficulties toenhance the value of her compliance; the great point resolved upon, sheheld all else of too little importance for a contest.
Mrs Charlton was now called in, and acquainted with the result of theirconference. Her approbation by no means followed the scheme of privacy;yet she was too much rejoiced in seeing her young friend near the periodof her long suspence and uneasiness, to oppose any plan which mightforward their termination.
Delvile then again begged to know what male confidant might be entrustedwith their project.
Mr Monckton immediately occurred to Cecilia, though the certainty of hisill-will to the cause made all application to him disagreeable; but hislong and steady friendship for her, his readiness to counsel and assisther, and the promises she had occasionally made, not to act withouthis advice, all concurred to persuade her that in a matter of suchimportance, she owed to him her confidence, and should be culpableto proceed without it. Upon him, therefore, she fixed; yet finding inherself a repugnance insuperable to acquainting him with her situation,she agreed that Delvile, who instantly proposed to be her messenger,should open to him the affair, and prepare him for their meeting.
Delvile then, rapid in thought and fertile in expedients, with acelerity and vigour which bore down all objections, arranged the wholeconduct of the business. To avoid suspicion, he determined instantlyto quit her, and, as soon as he had executed his commission with MrMonckton, to hasten to London, that the necessary preparations for theirmarriage might be made with dispatch and secrecy. He purposed, also, tofind out Mr Belfield; that he might draw up the bond with which he meantto entrust Mr Monckton. This measure Cecilia would have opposed, buthe refused to listen to her. Mrs Charlton herself, though her age andinfirmities had long confined her to her own house, gratified Ceciliaupon this critical occasion with consenting to accompany her to thealtar. Mr Monckton was depended upon for giving her away, and a churchin London was the place appointed for the performance of the ceremony.In three days the principal difficulties to the union would be removedby Cecilia's coming of age, and in five days it was agreed that theyshould actually meet in town. The moment they were married Delvilepromised to set off for the castle, while in another chaise, Ceciliareturned to Mrs Charlton's. This settled, he conjured her to bepunctual, and earnestly recommending himself to her fidelity andaffection, he bid her adieu.