Jason was still as he waited for our reactions, but I wanted to know Eli’s. “What’d he say?”
“You know him better than anyone, you know he doesn’t ever raise his voice. I could tell he was pissed that I was telling him how he’d been getting in the way. But once I told him he’d be losing his best friend, he couldn’t even respond. He just looked sick. Didn’t finish his sandwich, and didn’t talk to me as we walked back to work. When I walked into his office again later that day, he still had that sick-fearful look about him.”
I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.
I now knew why he’d sounded so tortured when he’d said those words. He’d known he was losing his best friend.
I was right.
I’d just changed everything.
September 6, 2013
Eli
I WENT THROUGH the motions of putting on my tie, but I didn’t even remember getting dressed this morning. I didn’t remember much about this entire last week since Paisley had dropped that bomb on me. I went to work, ate, and slept . . . but when I’d think back on all of it . . . I didn’t remember any of it.
My cell rang from where it sat on the nightstand behind me, but it wasn’t Paisley’s ringtone, so I let it go on until the voice mail picked up.
A week since she’d thrown my world on its side, and a week since I’d spoken to her. Everything about that was wrong, but I didn’t know what to say to her—I doubted she even wanted to hear from me. I couldn’t give her what she wanted from me. I hated myself for not seeing it years before so I wouldn’t have continued to give her hope. I’d made my Paisley cry. Twice.
My phone rang again, but I just walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I didn’t want to talk to anyone unless it was her. But she had Brett now . . . and I was the last person she would want to talk to about anything. Not after getting the courage to tell me what she had, only for me to let her down.
I glared over at my cell when it started up for the fourth time as I walked back out of the bathroom. Moving over to the nightstand, I looked at the screen and tapped the green button.
“Hey, Mom,” I answered.
“Eli! Oh my God, Eli!”
Everything in my body jolted as her screams came through the phone. “Mom! What happened?”
“Your dad—hospital—you need—please!” she choked out between sobs.
“Mom, try to calm down and tell me what happened.” Turning around, I ran through my apartment and grabbed my keys and wallet before running out the door and to my truck as she tried to tell me about Dad.
“His car exploded at the house. I was out of the city having breakfast with my sister! He—he’s at the hospital, you need to be there for him! There’s so much traffic, and I can’t get there!” she screamed.
“Pull over until you can calm down, I’m already on my way.”
“No, I need to be there!”
“Mom!” I barked, and waited for her hysteria to calm. “Take deep breaths, he’s going to be okay. But you need to be okay too, so try to stay calm so you can get yourself there, all right?”
She whimpered and sniffled, but didn’t respond otherwise.
“What do you mean exploded?”
“Just . . . just exploded. Blew up. In the driveway.”
I blinked slowly. Exploded? That shit happens in movies. “Was he in it?”
“Walking toward it.”
“Thank God,” I whispered, but my mind wouldn’t shut off. Seriously. That’s movie shit. “All right, I’m on my way, just try to stay calm. I’ll call you when I see him.”
Ending the call, I drove as fast as Friday morning traffic would allow me to the hospital, and was quickly taken back to where my dad was. Fear flooded my veins and weakened my knees the closer we got to his room. I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know if he was in a coma, I just didn’t know anything.
“What the hell happened?” I asked, my tone coated in relief when I saw him sitting up in the hospital bed.
“You’re asking the wrong person. Is your mom okay?”
I shot him a look and sighed as I sat in the chair next to the bed. “Not even close, but she’s on her way. You don’t look anything like what I was afraid I’d find.”
He laughed shakily. “Just some scratches and a bump on my head from where I hit the walkway. I mainly can’t stop shaking and my ears are still ringing.”
“Christ . . . you scared me, old man.” I squeezed his outstretched hand and called Mom.
“Eli?” she answered frantically.
“He’s fine. I’m sitting with him now. He’s just a little shaken up.”
She breathed a deep sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God!”
“Yeah.”
“Tell him I love him and I’m on my way.”
I looked up at my dad to see him smiling, and I knew he could hear her. “Will do, see you soon.” Once I ended the call, I sat back again and rubbed my hands over my face. “She said you were walking out to your car?”
Dad blinked quickly. “The alarm went off on my car . . . I figured someone hit it with the newspaper or something. I tried turning it off with the key fob inside the house, and when it didn’t stop, I walked outside. I was about”—he thought for a second—“halfway down the walkway to my car when it just blew up. I have no idea what happened, and I was never knocked unconscious, but I was out of it. Everything was so loud and just shaky. I still—I still can’t believe that just happened. It doesn’t feel like real life.”
“I was thinking that,” I said gruffly. “Sounds like something you see in movies.”
There was a knock on the door, and two police officers walked in. “Mr. Jenkins, I’m sorry, but we had a few more questions.”
I patted my dad’s arm and stood. “I’m gonna go make a call.”
Walking out of the room, I fell back against the wall and dropped down to the floor, letting out a shaky breath as I ran my hands through my hair. He was alive, he was fine . . . but there had been so much adrenaline pumping through my body that was now quickly fading, that I felt like I was about to crash.
And I needed Paisley.
Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I pulled up her number and stared at it for long minutes. Just as I started to press down, I heard my name being called. Looking to my left, I saw my mom jogging down the halls and stood to meet her. She had makeup streaming down her face, and her body shook as she cried against my chest.
“Is he okay?”
“Yeah, there are officers in there talking to him.” Shoving my phone back in my pocket, I turned her toward the room. “Come on, let’s go in there.”
I JERKED AWAKE when I heard a scream early the next morning. It was still pitch black in the room and outside the window, and it took me a second to realize where I was. It wasn’t until I heard my mom and dad yelling loudly that I remembered I’d stayed at their house in case Dad needed anything. They didn’t know why his car had blown up, but that shit didn’t just happen out of nowhere, so I’d also wanted to be here in case anything like it happened again.
Scrambling off the bed and out of my old bedroom, I ran toward their room and nearly broke the door off the hinges when I didn’t twist the knob enough and threw all my weight into it.
“What’s happening?” I yelled as soon as I was in.
I looked wildly around their room as they both ran in and out of their closet. My mom was crying as she packed a suitcase, my dad was trying to calm someone down on the phone.
“What is going on?” I asked again, and my dad turned to look at me, his face filled with the terror I’d felt yesterday morning as I’d driven to the hospital.
“Rachel,” he whispered to me, and shook his head, trying to convey that whatever had happened to my sister . . . it wasn’t good.
Chapter Five
September 7, 2013
Eli
IT FELT LIKE I was in a daze, like none of this could possibly be real—but somehow it was. I sat in the waiting room with my parents and younger sister Candice as I waited for the time when I could go into Rachel’s room again. Candice clutched at my arm as her body shook steadily, even through her sleep, and my mom cried quietly against my dad’s shoulder as they whispered back and forth to each other.
Rachel and Candice were three and a half years younger than me, and both were living in Austin attending the University of Texas there. While only Candice was blood, I’d never considered Rachel anything other than my sister. I’d just been with them a little over two months ago when I’d had a business trip here . . . and now Rachel was hooked up to a bunch of machines in a hospital room because of a stalker. The same man had apparently had people following all the members of my family, and had been behind my dad’s car blowing up.
Rachel was alive and would live a normal life, and she was whole, but she in no way would be okay. Not only had she been stalked and tortured by a psychopath, she’d also found out while being rescued that her fiancé was an undercover cop. I couldn’t imagine that conversation was going over well between them in her room, and I hated knowing that my sister was completely broken.
Removing Candice from my arm, I stood and walked to the other side of the waiting room to get away from them as I tried not to break down. Running my hands down my face, I let out a shuddering breath and tried to make sense of all this, but there was no way to. It still didn’t feel real. I just had to be thankful they’d been trying to send a message with my dad, and not trying to kill him; and thankful for Rachel’s fiancé, Kash. If it weren’t for him and the other detectives, they wouldn’t have found her in time.
My throat tightened at the thought of losing my sister, and like I had so many times over the past twenty-four hours, all I could think was that I needed Paisley there with me.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I walked out of the waiting room and down a little vacant hall. After going through the contacts, I stared at Paisley’s name for a long time—just like I’d done yesterday—before finally pressing down on it.
It rang and rang until her voice mail picked up, and my head fell back to the wall when her voice filled the phone. I rubbed at the ache in my chest as I wished once again for all of this to be some fucked-up nightmare.
“Hey, Pay, happy birthday,” I choked out, and cleared my throat. “I wish I could get a box of cupcakes and split them in half with you, but I’m in Texas. Some bad stuff happened to Rachel—and well . . . I’m just in Texas. So go get some cupcakes and eat the tops for me, sound good?”
I ground my jaw as I tried to figure out how to end it. I miss you? This is killing me? I’m sorry for not being the guy need?
Instead, I just stuttered, “Okay, yeah . . . see—uh . . . see you.”
Walking back into the waiting room, I saw Kash was out of Rachel’s room and sitting next to his work partner, and went over to introduce myself. I didn’t like that my sister had gotten engaged without me ever meeting the guy, and I really didn’t like that he’d been keeping the fact that he was an undercover cop from her, but I knew for Rachel’s sake I needed to try to be nice. I cleared my throat when I stepped up to him, and when he looked up at me, I had to clear it again to make sure I’d be okay to speak after the message I’d just left.
“Eli Jenkins,” I said as I offered my hand. “Thank you for saving her. She’s always been like a sister.” Kash didn’t respond. “You’re her fiancé, right?”
Pain covered his face, but he still didn’t respond.
Dropping my hand, I took a step back. “I’m sure it’s been a long day for you. We can talk later. I just wanted to say thank you.”
“You don’t need to thank me. I would do anything for her.” He licked his lips and his eyes darted to her door. “Watch out for her, okay?”
For some reason, I knew he didn’t mean right now. And while I didn’t know what had just happened in that room, I knew it hadn’t been good. Nodding, I walked quickly into Rachel’s room to see her straining to keep her cries silent.
“Are you hurting?” I asked as I went to the chair near her bed.
She nodded before shaking her head. “I don’t need pain medicine . . . I need the other half of my soul back.”
I shakily sat in the chair and grabbed her hand. She tightened both hands around mine as I sat there staring at nothing.
My soul.
The ache in my chest and body somehow grew, and I knew—I knew then what I’d lost.
I hadn’t just lost my wingman and best friend . . . I’d lost the only girl who could touch my soul.
September 7, 2013
Paisley
RELAXING INTO BRETT’S side as we walked out of the theater, I smiled up at him as he talked about the movie we’d just seen. I could listen to him talk all day about anything. His green eyes and full lips were always extremely expressive—the British accent was just the cherry on top.
He’d moved to the United States to go to college, and had never left—now staying here on a worker’s visa. Not even a foot taller than me, with lean muscles compared to Eli’s bulky build, and a little bit of a hipster edge to the way he dressed—he was Eli’s complete opposite. And I thanked God that not one thing about Brett reminded me of him.
“So . . .”
I raised an eyebrow and giggled against his lips when he stole a kiss. “So?”
“What next, birthday girl?”
“Oh, so you didn’t have this whole day planned?” I teased.
“I did.” I made a face and rolled my eyes. “I do!” he reiterated on a laugh. “But if there was something you wanted to do first, then I want to make that happen. My plans for you can wait.”
“Really?” I skipped a step in front of him and turned so I was in his arms and walking backward. “And what do your plans include?”
“Your apartment.”
“Mine?”
He nodded. “And us.”
“Generally a good thing not to be alone on my birthday.”
Brett smiled and pressed his lips softly against mine. “And something else I can’t tell you about yet.”
“Seriously?” I asked when I pulled away.
“Yes, seriously. I can’t give away all my secrets yet.”
I narrowed my eyes and he did the same. “Fine! Fine, take me to my apartment. I want to see what you have planned for us, and there’s really nothing else I want to do today.”
He smiled and turned to pull me toward the parking lot.
The entire way back I tried to guess what it was, or what we might be doing. Some of my guesses earned me an eye roll, others loud laughs, and the rest heated stares that seemed to change the air between us in his car. But apparently, I was still way off.
“Yes, Paisley, clothes are staying on,” he repeated again as I pushed my key into the lock. “But keep bringing some of that up, and I’ll have to reconsider.”
I sent him a teasing grin as I opened the door. I’d known whatever he wanted to do here had nothing to do with our clothes since we’d both talked about trying to go slow with our relationship. But the way his green eyes darkened when I’d mention it was quickly becoming one of my favorite things, and it was hard not to keep bringing it up to see that reaction out of him.
“Happy birthday!”
I screamed and jumped back into Brett’s arms when the shouts from my friends nearly gave me a heart attack—and almost made me pee myself if I’m being honest.
He wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me forward when I hadn’t moved. Bending down so his lips were next to my ear, he whispered, “Happy birthday, Paisley.”
Goose bumps covered my arms from the way his low voice curled around my name, and I looked up to kiss his jaw before stepping away into the waiting a
rms of my friends.
I was hugged, kissed on the cheek, and picked up dozens of times. But my eyes had never stopped moving—had never stopped looking for a tall guy built like a god, with short blond hair and perfect blue eyes. Even as I looked for him, I somehow knew he wouldn’t be there, though. Not just because we hadn’t talked in over a week, but I was sure my body would know when he was close again.
Looking over to Kristen and Jason in silent question as Brett pulled me into his arms again, both shook their heads faintly, and I nodded mine in acknowledgment.
“Surprise?” Brett offered.
I pushed on his stomach before wrapping my arms around his waist. “I guessed this.”
“Well, of course you did. But it’s not like I could just tell you. That would have ruined the best reaction I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh God, I don’t even want to know what I looked like.”
“Adorable.”
“Charmer?”
His lips tilted up in the most perfect crooked smile. “Absolutely.”
“Thank you for this.”
He jerked his head toward my living room. “Come on, let’s enjoy your day, shall we?”
“HE HASN’T EVEN called you?” Kristen asked hours later. “It’s your birthday. I just don’t see him being like this,” she mumbled mostly to herself.
Everyone except Brett, Kristen, and Jason had just left; and before I could question them about the obvious missing guest once Brett was in the bathroom, Jason brought him up.
I sighed as I grabbed a cupcake out of the container and started tearing off the top. “Oh well.”
“Has he said anything to you, babe?” Kristen asked.
Jason shrugged. “He’s been quiet. Not talking to anyone really. His door is usually shut, but he didn’t show up again yesterday. I tried calling him early this morning about your party—it went straight to voice mail.”
An uneasy feeling unfurled in my stomach, and apparently Kristen’s too. “Should we be worried about him?” she asked as she tried to conceal her fear.