Read Christopher Unborn Page 54


  My class intelligence, genetically uncertain, rebels against all this: I am not now nor have I ever been a plebe, a lumpen, or a vulgar swine: I am Don Christopher the Classy, you might as well know it here and now, your Mercedes-Benz, no matter who it hurts, and now I remember a smell, I recall a sound, we’ve left the sick air in order to enter the sickness of the air, what a misty jail, how close the zinc ceilings are and the cement water tubs, burning and hostile like a bath in lava, how close we are to a ravine in the garbage belt that surrounds the city, what a mass of people there, people who are invisible but who are kissed, spoken to, and greeted by Hipi:

  “Ne netilztli!”

  “Xocoyotzin!”

  “Ollohiuhqui, ollohiuhqui!”

  “Cíhuatl!” Hipi points to my mother.

  “Xocoyotzin, ixcluintli!” An old man points to my mom’s belly, to me!

  “Toci, toci.” Hipi points to my mother and then points to himself.

  They speak a bit more, and then Hipi tells us that his family is happy he’s gotten married and that very soon he will have his first child. Amid so much misery and slaughter, they are happy to see that life goes on. Welcome to the wife and soon-to-be-born son of our young pup Xipe!

  The old folks offer us their house along with all the electric appliances Hipi has been bringing them over the years: let the offerings be ours, translates the flayed boy. He asks my mother to sit down near the old folks, between the smoke and the stench, and to make ourselves comfortable, because we will be staying here until the child is born.

  “Ixcluintli, ixcluintli,” the old folks say, announcing our evening meal, raw, smoky dog—without hair.

  “We greet the young son of the gods who is about to be born.”

  Take note, your mercies, take careful note, dear Readers: these oldsters are referring to ME when they say these things, THEY REFER TO ME! Just think how frightened I am, trapped you know where, consulting my genetic chain like a madman to see if something was condemning me to be born in a hut belonging to some tipsy Aztecs and to incarnate, who knows? the sun, sacrifice, and who knows what the fuck else! NOTHING, Readers, exactly NOTHING. If a kind of proto-Quetzalcoatl is going to be born in this miserable hut, it isn’t going to be me, maybe my fraternal twin, born from my mother at the same time as I will be but formed from an egg different from mine, fertilized by another sperm than the one I call my own: ladies and gentlemen, I feel around in the fetal night that surrounds me to see if this fraternal twin, dizzygothic (gothic and dizzy!), is within reach, coexisting near me in the womb of Doña Angeles Palomar my mother, and if it’s that way, just understand, because of what might happen later, that this dizzygothic twin was not created by the same father who created me, that we inhabit different placentas and that the only thing we share is the same time within Mom’s womb: only that, nothing more, not paternal origin, not destiny in the world, he is not the OTHER CHRISTOPHER, in any case he’s probably the other Hipi Toltec, and good luck to him: so keep your eyes open, gentle Readers: listen to what I say, watch out for my face, my gestures, my words: we’ve been getting to know each other now over hundreds of pages, don’t fail me now, in the moment of truth, of Baby Ruth, of the Bambino! Anagnorisis is what it’s called: recognize me, it all depends on you, so when Hipi and his paleototonacs come to claim me: I am Christopher Palomar, not the (bastard) Son of the Gods!

  11

  No sooner had Grandfather Rigoberto Palomar slammed the door in the faces of the Fagoaga sisters than his spirits began to soar: he turned to face his wife, Doña Susana Rentería, leaned against the door, closed his eyes, and tilted his aged head back.

  “Su, dearest Su,” said the old man, with his eyes closed.

  “What is it, Rigo? Here I am.”

  He opened his eyes, kissed his wife passionately, and smiled as he stepped back. “Do you remember when your father handed you over to me and you were a little girl and I’d tuck you in every night?”

  “And you were thirty, but you liked being called ‘old fellow’ by a girl because in those days all the young men wanted to look old so people would take them seriously. You were such a young soldier.”

  “Things go in circles! It’s the same now. Look: Angel and Angeles dress the way you and I did when we were young.”

  “Fashions that come to us from the North,” said Doña Susana Rentería. “Don’t pay any attention to it. Twenty years ago—remember?—everybody wanted to look like a teenager.”

  “Ah, those barbarians to the North!”

  They laughed at all this, looking tenderly at one another. After a moment, she took him in her arms.

  “Did you hear the President?” Don Rigo asked her. “We have to fight again. Of course, nothing is perfect, Su, and I’ll tell you again that I’m not mistaken. It doesn’t matter to me that Mexico is all fucked up, but what does matter to me is that Mexico exists. We shouldn’t give up on the country just because it’s in a bad period. To reform a country you have to have a country. I know people think I’m crazy, but just tell me if you and I could have had a better life than being taken for lunatics by everyone and only being crazy on a single point, which I chose, while being sane on all the rest. If I weren’t insane about the Revolution, they wouldn’t let me be sane about the rest, namely the love I have for you, and the skill with which I manage my affairs, and how well I know how to use my leisure time and have friends. It’s a concession, sweetie.”

  “I understand you, old boy. Nothing is perfect.”

  “Su: when I was a boy, there was nothing here but a little boastful elite and the mass of peons. I’m right; we didn’t fail, my madness is reasonable. What had to be done was done; this country had no roads, no dams, no telephones, no schools, no industry, no freedom of movement. All that we accomplished. You say that nothing is perfect. Ask those who came after us why they were so irresponsible with what we created, those who worked from 1915 to 1940, when I was young and you a little girl. Anyway, the problem with a revolution is not to betray it. It’s not going through with it for fear of betraying it.”

  “What are you trying to tell me, old man?”

  “Susy. Once again, I have a mission in life. I don’t have to lie to myself and say that the Revolution is not over. You heard the President. The Yankees have invaded us! We have to defend the fatherland!”

  “Let me remind you of a mission a bit closer to home. Our granddaughter has been kidnapped. Along with our unborn great-grandson.”

  “What do you think I should do, Susana Rentería?”

  “General: delegate and give orders. You’re too old for these fracases. You’re over ninety. Behave like a commander-in-chief.”

  “I thank you for your wisdom, Su. What orders should I give?”

  “Egg knows where this Hipiteca person, the boy with the peeling skin, lives. Angel should rescue his wife. And if he doesn’t, well, then he should owe the favor to his friend. That first. Then you can order Angel to fight in Veracruz and redeem himself for all the idiotic things he’s done. Get your priorities straight, General.”

  “How talented you’ve always been, my dear girl!”

  But all their attempts to find Angel were useless. Don Fernando Benítez was incommunicado, out with the Huicholes, taking a bath in the Golden Age. The Simon Bully Bar was closed, and no one knew where Concha Toro or her dog Fango Dango was. The piano player and barman in the new club that had opened across the street, Giuseppe Birthday, said that he was new in the neighborhood, that he knew nothing about any Chilean woman, and that he hoped the general and his wife would have a libation in his new bar the Lady of the Camels: Quench Your Thirst Here. The López mansion had been looted and its inhabitants (Ulises and Lucha) murdered, although the girl (Penny) wanders around the U.S.A.-shaped pool tossing in sunflower petals and muttering:

  “You can look but you can’t touch. You’re ugly and a plebe. If it’s Thursday, this must be Philadelphia.”

  Dear Readers:

  Only my genes, the current seat of m
y intelligence, can assure you that my vision, activated perhaps by a dream or one of my mother’s desires (I dream of you without wanting to, Angel, I desire you without dreaming of you, without knowing why. You receive the seed from both of us, my son, dream and desire, my son), is capable of dreaming of desiring and of seeing my father in this particular instant: I cling to that intelligence, which, after all, I inherited from him and her and not from the stinking environment where I’m suffocating in this shack that belongs to Hipi Toltec’s family. (One hundred genes determine intelligence! superior intelligence dominates inferior intelligence! eighty percent of the differences between individuals are genetic! neither race nor country of origin nor social class nor climate nor pollution: intelligence is what counts.)

  I mean that I feel sure of my genes, you see, and my genes feel sure of me. This mutual confidence allows us to see what others only imagine: by illuminating my genes, I see my father from the kidnapped belly of my mother:

  On the highway out of the black hole called Mexico, D.F.cation. My father and Colasa Sánchez look from Paso de Cortés, where the Van Gogh gave up the ghost, out of gas, sick, deaf (the other loudspeaker fell off). They look toward the swamp of toxic waste and contaminated water. Angel realizes that for her all this is normal. The city under the persistent acid rain is not something different. But culture and nostalgia have set my father apart. But she doesn’t know that the city is the cramped waiting room of eternity. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that her father is dead. My father feels remorse for having abandoned us, although his feeling grows weaker when he looks at the external city (the extreme city) and its distant rumbles of hunger, crime, and violence: the persistent dripping that he cannot locate continues to pursue him; she is pursued by her own vulnerability: she’s run after this young man—my father—since she was eleven years old, she obeyed the homicidal orders of her father Matamoros Moreno, she owns the only vagina dentata in America the Toothyful, and nevertheless here they are, the two of them, chilled to the bone this early September night, looking at the city’s deceptive lights from the Paso de Cortés. He slips his jacket over her shoulders, protects her, accepts her, and the two of them feel that being a loving couple is more difficult but also more important than having no ties. Angel covers and protects Colasa because he remembers my abandoned mother (and perhaps me!) and he feels guilty. But Colasa doesn’t know this and accepts Angel’s tenderness with a little shudder of pleasure that is also not without its tinge of guilt. She wanted to kill this man she desires. She’s loved and hated him since she was a girl, when she set herself up in a striker’s tent outside his door on Calle Génova. Today, on this cold, sad night up on the heights, she is going to have to decide. If she gives herself to him, she destroys him with her teeth. If she doesn’t give herself to him, she will have to sustain love in some other way, without physical contact, and she doesn’t know how that can be done, but she fears that he does know and that he’ll go back to Angeles and keep her as a mascot. What problems I make for myself! Colasita exclaims, hugged, protected by my father, covered by my father’s 1920s-style jacket this cold night in the mountains, but she doesn’t have time to express her doubts or make decisions, and for one reason alone: this city of death should, despite everything, live. The fog lifts suddenly and the caravan of lights blinds the night: it’s the armada of long-haul trucks that travel in the darkness to fill thirty million bellies in Mexico City. They enter the city with their ephemeral cornucopia of fruits and vegetables, meats and cheeses and chickens and lobsters and fowl and oysters and beer, but Angel Palomar and Colasa Sánchez want to flee from the city. To flee because he feels guilty, overwhelmed, no compass, his reasons forever scattered (he tells Colasa: I’ve lost my reasons, understand? and she says no, that she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter because it’s so nice being together, the two of them, keep talking, keep talking. Once I went to Oaxaca and I found my reasons; maybe I ought to go back; in any case, I ought to get out of here, I wanted to confront Mexican society and Mexican society defeated me; and do you know how, Colasa? by not paying me any attention, Colasa! And she: But you talk so pretty, gosh), and all the trucks entering the city: only one is leaving, going in the opposite direction. They are doubly blinded by the clash of lights, like blind men fencing, the beams of light from the powerful headlamps of the trucks crossing each other and Colasa squirming free of the arm of my protective father, Colasa always excessive and impetuous in the middle of the highway exposing herself to death, my father shouting to her from the shoulder of the road, Colasa, be careful, you’re crazy! and the enormous wheels of the only truck abandoning the city, an eighteen-wheel Leyland, fourteen feet high, with a revolving light on its roof, brakes to a screeching halt in front of the small figure still dressed as a Discalced Carmelite.

  “What the hell was that! I can’t see a thing! I almost killed you, you idiot!”

  The driver’s voice screams from the truck, he leans out a face that looks like a made-up clown; it’s a white skull wearing enormous black glasses. Irritated, he takes off his baseball cap and shows his hair, which has no color, not even white.

  “Help, help a poor devout girl, show mercy, sir, says the clown Colasita Sánchez, kneeling before the albino driver, the girl bathed in scales of mercury, and the driver opens the door, helps her to her feet, while she points to my father: “And my friend, too. Won’t you give us a ride? Jesus, Patron of the Needy, will love you for it!”

  12

  Inside the border checkpoint between Mexamerica North and Baja Oklahoma, the immigration agent, Mazzo Balls, stares attentively at the infrared screen that detects heat from human bodies. Tonight the screen is blank. No heat waves activate the detection device and none shows up as a ghost-like image on the screen. Nevertheless, Mazzo Balls’s sixth sense tells him that there are ghosts crossing the forbidden frontier tonight, just as there are every night. The exception does not prove the rule—a maxim they taught him in his training course for interdicting illegal aliens. The invasion from the South is constant, unstoppable, a flood. It takes place at all hours.

  Tonight would be the first night in his entire three-year tour of duty (a solitary posting in this no-man’s-land out on the Texas plains) in which he would not detect at least one Mexican, Honduran, or Salvadoran trying to sneak into Baja Oklahoma, not happy with the nice reception arranged for him in Mexamerica, that version of the Polish Corridor between Mexico and the United States, which supposedly declared itself independent from both countries, although in reality it served the interests of both, absorbing eighty percent of the illegal aliens that used to sneak into Texas, California, the Midwest, and the Great Lakes states …

  Agent Mazzo Balls was the most zealous enforcer of the final version of the Simpson–Nobody law, which, in exchange for metaphysical control over the U.S. frontier, sanctioned fines and prison terms for employers of illegals. Foreseeably, this punishment was applied indiscriminately to anyone who employed dark-skinned workers, whether they were U.S. citizens or not, and ended up (also foreseeably) forcing every traveler to carry first an identity card, then a passport, and finally being able to move only within hermetically sealed zones—just like South Africa. Blocking the entrance and employment of Latin American laborers into the United States not only heightened the social crisis in Mexico and Central America but brought about the collapse of the labor market in the United States. The absence of Hispanic workers in hospitals, restaurants, transportation, farming, and manufacturing left a horrible vacuum which, contrary to the laws of physics and the baroque (noted our Uncle Fernando Benítez with a bitter smile), was not filled by anyone: no one wanted those jobs, but everyone had to take a step down as far as getting loans, good salaries, and jobs was concerned, in order to disguise the labor shortage.

  All this (Don Fernando would have wanted to warn the city and the world) had to contribute to pauperization and the current disintegration of the States in the Union, with no one winning anything: how c
ould Uncle Fernando explain all this to the pair of blind young Indians who one day turned up at the house of the blackboards on the way to their chimerical goal: Chicago, the city of the big shoulders, far from the fatality of poverty, sickness, and tradition, breaking the circle of their age-old destiny. Don Fernando foresaw a catastrophe for the young couple (the girl, remember, your mercies, made pregnant at the same time as my mother, she bearing a baby who would be my contemporary, olé!).

  * * *

  Now I foresee: the day we meet Uncle Fernando again, he will tell us what probably happened: Mazzo Balls cannot believe that the greasers have skipped a night in their attempt to slip through the rat trap, which is emblazoned with a huge sign in Gothic letters:

  VOTE WITH YOUR FEET

  and just to give himself the satisfaction, he orders the service helicopter to take a look and see if there aren’t any illegals crossing the border. It’d be a miracle! A peaceful night! Silent night, holy night! hums Mazzo Balls, his Miller Lite in one hand, his unlit Marlboro dangling from his lips, his feet perched on the console, and his favorite TV program on: The Forsyte Saga. The series transports him to another era, like a fairy tale: how Mazzo would have liked living in Edwardian England, with butlers, kitchen boys, and parlor maids running up- and downstairs all day long!