LETTER VII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE [AFTER HER RETURN FROM HER.]HARLOWE-PLACE, FEB. 20.
I beg your excuse for not writing sooner. Alas! my dear, I have sadprospects before me! My brother and sister have succeeded in all theirviews. They have found out another lover for me; an hideous one!--Yethe is encouraged by every body. No wonder that I was ordered home sosuddenly. At an hour's warning!--No other notice, you know, than whatwas brought with the chariot that was to carry me back.--It was forfear, as I have been informed [an unworthy fear!] that I should haveentered into any concert with Mr. Lovelace had I known their motive forcommanding me home; apprehending, 'tis evident, that I should dislikethe man they had to propose to me.
And well might they apprehend so:--For who do you think he is?--Noother than that Solmes--Could you have believed it?--And they are alldetermined too; my mother with the rest!--Dear, dear excellence! howcould she be thus brought over, when I am assured, that on his firstbeing proposed she was pleased to say, That had Mr. Solmes the Indiesin possession, and would endow me with them, she should not think himdeserving of her Clarissa!
The reception I met with at my return, so different from what I used tomeet with on every little absence [and now I had been from them threeweeks], convinced me that I was to suffer for the happiness I had hadin your company and conversation for that most agreeable period. I willgive you an account of it.
My brother met me at the door, and gave me his hand when I stepped outof the chariot. He bowed very low: pray, Miss, favour me.--I thought itin good humour; but found it afterwards mock respect: and so he ledme in great form, I prattling all the way, inquiring of every body'shealth, (although I was so soon to see them, and there was hardly timefor answers,) into the great parlour; where were my father, mother, mytwo uncles, and sister.
I was struck all of a heap as soon as I entered, to see a solemnitywhich I had been so little used to on the like occasions in thecountenance of every dear relation. They all kept their seats. I ranto my father, and kneeled: then to my mother: and met from both a coldsalute: From my father a blessing but half pronounced: My mother indeedcalled me child; but embraced me not with her usual indulgent ardour.
After I had paid my duty to my uncles, and my compliments to my sister,which she received with solemn and stiff form, I was bid to sit down.But my heart was full: and I said it became me to stand, if I couldstand, upon a reception so awful and unusual. I was forced to turn myface from them, and pull out my handkerchief.
My unbrotherly accuser hereupon stood forth, and charged me with havingreceived no less than five or six visits at Miss Howe's from theman they had all so much reason to hate [that was the expression];notwithstanding the commands I had had to the contrary. And he bid medeny it if I could.
I had never been used, I said, to deny the truth, nor would I now. Iowned I had in the three weeks passed seen the person I presumed hemeant oftener than five or six times [Pray hear me, brother, said I; forhe was going to flame out], but he always asked for Mrs. or Miss Howe,when he came.
I proceeded, that I had reason to believe, that both Mrs. Howe and Miss,as matters stood, would much rather have excused his visits; but theyhad more than once apologized, that having not the same reason my papahad to forbid him their house, his rank and fortune entitled him tocivility.
You see, my dear, I made not the pleas I might have made.
My brother seemed ready to give a loose to his passion: My father puton the countenance which always portends a gathering storm: My unclesmutteringly whispered: And my sister aggravatingly held up her hands.While I begged to be heard out:--And my mother said, let the child, thatwas her kind word, be heard.
I hoped, I said, there was no harm done: that it became not me toprescribe to Mrs. or Miss Howe who should be their visitors: that Mrs.Howe was always diverted with the raillery that passed between Miss andhim: that I had no reason to challenge her guest for my visitor, as Ishould seem to have done had I refused to go into their company when hewas with them: that I had never seen him out of the presence of one orboth of those ladies; and had signified to him once, on his urging afew moments' private conversation with me, that, unless a reconciliationwere effected between my family and his, he must not expect that I wouldcountenance his visits, much less give him an opportunity of that sort.
I told him further, that Miss Howe so well understood my mind, that shenever left me a moment while Mr. Lovelace was there: that when he came,if I was not below in the parlour, I would not suffer myself to becalled to him: although I thought it would be an affectation which wouldgive him an advantage rather than the contrary, if I had left companywhen he came in; or refused to enter into it when I found he would stayany time.
My brother heard me out with such a kind of impatience as shewed he wasresolved to be dissatisfied with me, say what I would. The rest, as theevent has proved, behaved as if they would have been satisfied, hadthey not further points to carry by intimidating me. All this made itevident, as I mentioned above, that they themselves expected not myvoluntary compliance; and was a tacit confession of the disagreeablenessof the person they had to propose.
I was no sooner silent than my brother swore, although in my father'spresence, (swore, unchecked either by eye or countenance,) That for hispart, he would never be reconciled to that libertine: and that he wouldrenounce me for a sister, if I encouraged the addresses of a man soobnoxious to them all.
A man who had like to have been my brother's murderer, my sister said,with a face even bursting with restraint of passion.
The poor Bella has, you know, a plump high-fed face, if I may be allowedthe expression. You, I know, will forgive me for this liberty of speechsooner than I can forgive myself: Yet how can one be such a reptile asnot to turn when trampled upon!
My father, with vehemence both of action and voice [my father has, youknow, a terrible voice when he is angry] told me that I had met with toomuch indulgence in being allowed to refuse this gentleman, and the othergentleman,; and it was now his turn to be obeyed!
Very true, my mother said:--and hoped his will would not now be disputedby a child so favoured.
To shew they were all of a sentiment, my uncle Harlowe said, he hopedhis beloved niece only wanted to know her father's will, to obey it.
And my uncle Antony, in his rougher manner, added, that surely I wouldnot give them reason to apprehend, that I thought my grandfather'sfavour to me had made me independent of them all.--If I did, he wouldtell me, the will could be set aside, and should.
I was astonished, you must needs think.--Whose addresses now, thought I,is this treatment preparative to?--Mr. Wyerley's again?--or whose? Andthen, as high comparisons, where self is concerned, sooner than low,come into young people's heads; be it for whom it will, this is wooingas the English did for the heiress of Scotland in the time of Edwardthe Sixth. But that it could be for Solmes, how should it enter into myhead?
I did not know, I said, that I had given occasion for this harshness.I hoped I should always have a just sense of every one's favour to me,superadded to the duty I owed as a daughter and a niece: but that I wasso much surprised at a reception so unusual and unexpected, that I hopedmy papa and mamma would give me leave to retire, in order to recollectmyself.
No one gainsaying, I made my silent compliments, and withdrew;--leavingmy brother and sister, as I thought, pleased; and as if they wanted tocongratulate each other on having occasioned so severe a beginning to bemade with me.
I went up to my chamber, and there with my faithful Hannah deplored thedetermined face which the new proposal it was plain they had to make mewore.
I had not recovered myself when I was sent for down to tea. I beggedmy maid to be excused attending; but on the repeated command, went downwith as much cheerfulness as I could assume; and had a new fault toclear myself of: for my brother, so pregnant a thing is determinedill-will, by intimations equally rude and intelligible, charged mydesire of being excused coming down, to sullens, because a certa
inperson had been spoken against, upon whom, as he supposed, my fancy ran.
I could easily answer you, Sir, said I, as such a reflection deserves:but I forbear. If I do not find a brother in you, you shall have asister in me.
Pretty meekness! Bella whisperingly said; looking at my brother, andlifting up her lip in contempt.
He, with an imperious air, bid me deserve his love, and I should be sureto have it.
As we sat, my mother, in her admirable manner, expatiated upon brotherlyand sisterly love; indulgently blamed my brother and sister for havingtaken up displeasure too lightly against me; and politically, if I maysay so, answered for my obedience to my father's will.--The it would beall well, my father was pleased to say: Then they should dote upon me,was my brother's expression: Love me as well as ever, was my sister's:And my uncles, That I then should be the pride of their hearts.--But,alas! what a forfeiture of all these must I make!
This was the reception I had on my return from you.
Mr. Solmes came in before we had done tea. My uncle Antony presentedhim to me, as a gentleman he had a particular friendship for. My uncleHarlowe in terms equally favourable for him. My father said, Mr. Solmesis my friend, Clarissa Harlowe. My mother looked at him, and looked atme, now-and-then, as he sat near me, I thought with concern.--I at her,with eyes appealing for pity. At him, when I could glance at him, withdisgust little short of affrightment. While my brother and sister Mr.Solmes'd him, and Sirr'd--yet such a wretch!--But I will at present onlyadd, My humble thanks and duty to your honoured mother (to whom I willparticularly write, to express the grateful sense I have of her goodnessto me); and that I am
Your ever obliged, CL. HARLOWE.