LETTER XXII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 5.
Hannah has just brought me from the private place in the garden-wall, aletter from Mr. Lovelace, deposited last night, signed also by Lord M.
He tells me in it, 'That Mr. Solmes makes it his boast, that he is tobe married in a few days to one of the shyest women in England: that mybrother explains his meaning: This shy creature, he says, is me; andhe assures every one, that his younger sister is very soon to be Mr.Solmes's wife. He tells me of the patterns bespoken which my mothermentioned to me.'
Not one thing escapes him that is done or said in this house.
'My sister, he says, reports the same things; and that with suchparticular aggravations of insult upon him, that he cannot but beextremely piqued, as well at the manner, as from the occasion; andexpresses himself with great violence upon it.
'He knows not, he says, what my relations' inducements can be to prefersuch a man as Solmes to him. If advantageous settlements be the motive,Solmes shall not offer what he will refuse to comply with.
'As to his estate and family; the first cannot be excepted against: andfor the second, he will not disgrace himself by a comparison so odious.He appeals to Lord M. for the regularity of his life and manners eversince he has made his addresses to me, or had hope of my favour.'
I suppose he would have his Lordship's signing to this letter to betaken as a voucher for him.
'He desires my leave (in company with my Lord), in a pacific manner,to attend my father and uncles, in order to make proposals that must beaccepted, if they will see him, and hear what they are: and tells me,that he will submit to any measures that I shall prescribe, in order tobring about a reconciliation.'
He presumes to be very earnest with me, 'to give him a private meetingsome night, in my father's garden, attended by whom I please.'
Really, my dear, were you to see his letter, you would think I had givenhim great encouragement, and that I am in direct treaty with him; orthat he is sure that my friends will drive me into a foreign protection;for he has the boldness to offer, in my Lord's name, an asylum to me,should I be tyrannically treated in Solmes's behalf.
I suppose it is the way of this sex to endeavour to entangle thethoughtless of ours by bold supposals and offers, in hopes that we shallbe too complaisant or bashful to quarrel with them; and, if not checked,to reckon upon our silence, as assents voluntarily given, or concessionsmade in their favour.
There are other particulars in this letter which I ought to mention toyou: but I will take an opportunity to send you the letter itself, or acopy of it.
For my own part, I am very uneasy to think how I have been drawn on onehand, and driven on the other, into a clandestine, in short, into a mereloverlike correspondence, which my heart condemns.
It is easy to see, if I do not break it off, that Mr. Lovelace'sadvantages, by reason of my unhappy situation, will every day increase,and I shall be more and more entangled. Yet if I do put an end toit, without making it a condition of being freed from Mr. Solmes'saddress--May I, my dear, is it best to continue it a little longer, inorder to extricate myself out of the other difficulty, by giving up allthoughts of Mr. Lovelace?--Whose advice can I now ask but yours.
All my relations are met. They are at breakfast together. Mr. Solmes isexpected. I am excessively uneasy. I must lay down my pen.
***
They are all going to church together. Grievously disordered they appearto be, as Hannah tells me. She believes something is resolved upon.
SUNDAY NOON.
What a cruel thing is suspense!--I will ask leave to go to church thisafternoon. I expect to be denied. But, if I do not ask, they may allege,that my not going is owing to myself.
***
I desired to speak with Shorey. Shorey came. I directed her to carry tomy mother my request for permission to go to church this afternoon. Whatthink you was the return? Tell her, that she must direct herself toher brother for any favour she has to ask.--So, my dear, I am to bedelivered up to my brother!
I was resolved, however, to ask of him this favour. Accordingly, whenthey sent me up my solitary dinner, I gave the messenger a billet,in which I made it my humble request through him to my father, to bepermitted to go to church this afternoon.
This was the contemptuous answer: 'Tell her, that her request will betaken into consideration to-morrow.'
Patience will be the fittest return I can make to such an insult. Butthis method will not do with me; indeed it will not! And yet it is butthe beginning, I suppose, of what I am to expect from my brother, now Iam delivered up to him.