LETTER XXIII
MRS. HOWE, TO CHARLES HICKMAN, ESQ. THURSDAY, MARCH 30.
I cannot but say, Mr. Hickman, but you have cause to be dissatisfied--tobe out of humour--to be displeased--with Nancy--but, upon my word; butindeed--What shall I say?--Yet this I will say, that you good younggentlemen know nothing at all of our sex. Shall I tell you--but whyshould I? And yet I will, that if Nancy did not think well of you uponthe main, she is too generous to treat you so freely as she does.--Don'tyou think she has courage enough to tell me, she would not see you, andto refuse at any time seeing you, as she knows on what account you come,if she had not something in her head favourable to you?--Fie! that I amforced to say thus much in writing, when I have hinted it to you twentyand twenty times by word of mouth!
But if you are so indifferent, Mr. Hickman--if you think you can partwith her for her skittish tricks--if my interest in your favour--Why,Mr. Hickman, I must tell you that my Nancy is worth bearing with. If shebe foolish--what is that owing to?--Is it not to her wit? Let me tellyou, Sir, you cannot have the convenience without the inconvenience.What workman loves not a sharp tool to work with? But is there not moredanger from a sharp tool than from a blunt one? And what workman willthrow away a sharp tool, because it may cut his fingers? Wit may belikened to a sharp tool. And there is something very pretty in wit, letme tell you. Often and often have I been forced to smile at her archturns upon me, when I could have beat her for them. And, pray, don't Ibear a great deal from her?--And why? because I love her. And would younot wish me to judge of your love for her by my own? And would not youbear with her?--Don't you love her (what though with another sort oflove?) as well as I do? I do assure you, Sir, that if I thought you didnot--Well, but it is plain that you don't!--And is it plain that youdon't?--Well, then, you must do as you think best.
Well might the merit of your passion be doubted, you say, if, like Mr.Solmes--fiddle-faddle!--Why, you are a captious man, I think!--Has Nancybeen so plain in her repulses of you as Miss Clary Harlowe has been toMr. Solmes?--Does Nancy love any man better than you, although she maynot shew so much love to you as you wish for?--If she did, let me tellyou, she would have let us all hear of it.--What idle comparisons then!
But it mat be you are tired out. It may be you have seen somebodyelse--it may be you would wish to change mistresses with that gay wretchMr. Lovelace. It may be too, that, in that case, Nancy would not besorry to change lovers--The truly-admirable Miss Clarissa Harlowe!--Goodlack!-but take care, Mr. Hickman, that you do not praise any womanliving, let her be as admirable and as excellent as she will, above yourown mistress. No polite man will do that, surely. And take caretoo, that you do not make her or me think you are in earnest in youranger--just though it may be, as anger only--I would not for a thousandpounds, that Nancy should know that you can so easily part with her, ifyou have the love for her which you declare you have. Be sure, if youare not absolutely determined, that you do not so much as whisper thecontents of this your letter to your own heart, as I may say.
Her treatment of you, you say, does no credit either to her educationor fine sense. Very home put, truly! Nevertheless, so say I. But is nothers the disgrace, more than yours? I can assure you, that every bodyblames her for it. And why do they blame her?--Why? because they thinkyou merit better treatment at her hands: And is not this to your credit?Who but pities you, and blames he? Do the servants, who, as you observe,see her skittish airs, disrespect you for them? Do they not, at suchtimes, look concerned for you? Are they not then doubly officious intheir respects and services to you?--I have observed, with pleasure,that they are.
But you are afraid you shall be thought tame, perhaps, when married.That you shall not be though manly enough, I warrant!--And this was poorMr. Howe's fear. And many a tug did this lordly fear cost us both, Godknows!--Many more than needed, I am sure:--and more than ought to havebeen, had he known how to bear and forbear; as is the duty of those whopretend to have most sense--And, pray, which would you have to have mostsense, the woman or the man?
Well, Sir, and now what remains, if you really love Nancy so well as yousay you do?--Why, I leave that to you. You may, if you please, come tobreakfast with me in the morning. But with no full heart, nor resentinglooks, I advise you; except you can brave it out. That have I, whenprovoked, done many a time with my husband, but never did I get anything by it with my daughter: much less will you. Of which, for yourobservation, I thought fit to advise you. As from
Your friend, Anabella Howe.