Read Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 3 Page 34
LETTER XXXII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE [IN CONTINUATION.]
As this subject was introduced by himself, and treated so lightly byhim, I was going on to tell him more of my mind; but he interruptedme--Dear, dear Madam, spare me. I am sorry that I have lived to thishour for nothing at all. But surely you could not have quitted a subjectso much more agreeable, and so much more suitable, I will say, to yourpresent situation, if you had not too cruel a pleasure in mortifying aman, who the less needed to be mortified, as he before looked up to youwith a diffidence in his own merits too great to permit him to speakhalf of his mind to you. Be pleased but to return to the subject we wereupon; and at another time I will gladly embrace correction from the onlylips in the world so qualified to give it.
You talk of reformation sometimes, Mr. Lovelace, and in so talking,acknowledge errors. But I see you can very ill bear the reproof, forwhich perhaps you are not solicitous to avoid giving occasion. Far be itfrom me to take delight in finding fault; I should be glad for both oursakes, since my situation is what it is, that I could do nothing butpraise you. But failures which affect a mind that need not be verydelicate to be affected by them, are too grating to be passed over insilence by a person who wishes to be thought in earnest in her own duties.
I admire your delicacy, Madam, again interrupted he. Although I sufferby it, yet would I not have it otherwise: indeed I would not, when Iconsider of it. It is an angelic delicacy, which sets you above all oursex, and even above your own. It is natural to you, Madam; so you maythink it extraordinary: but there is nothing like it on earth, said theflatterer--What company has he kept!
But let us return to the former subject--You were so good as to ask mewhat I would advise you to do: I want but to make you easy; I want butto see you fixed to your liking: your faithful Hannah with you; yourreconciliation with those to whom you wish to be reconciled, seton foot, and in a train. And now let me mention to you differentexpedients; in hopes that some one of them may be acceptable to you.
'I will go to Mrs. Howe, or to Miss Howe, or to whomsoever you wouldhave me to go, and endeavour to prevail upon them to receive you.*
* The reader, perhaps, need not be reminded that he had taken care fromthe first (see Vol. I. Letter XXXI.) to deprive her of any protectionfrom Mrs. Howe. See in his next letter, a repeated account of the sameartifices, and his exultations upon his inventions to impose upon thetwo such watchful ladies as Clarissa and Miss Howe.
'Do you incline to go to Florence to your cousin Morden? I will furnishyou with an opportunity of going thither, either by sea to Leghorn,or by land through France. Perhaps I may be able to procure one ofthe ladies of my family to attend you. Either Charlotte or Patty wouldrejoice in such an opportunity of seeing France and Italy. As formyself, I will only be your escort, in disguise, if you will have it so,even in your livery, that your punctilio may not receive offence by myattendance.'
I told him, I would consider of all he had said: but that I hoped for aline or two from my aunt Hervey, if not from my sister, to both ofwhom I had written, which, if I were to be so favoured, might help todetermine me. Mean time, if he would withdraw, I would particularlyconsider of this proposal of his, in relation to my cousin Morden. Andif it held its weight with me, so far as to write for your opinion uponit, he should know my mind in an hour's time.
He withdrew with great respect: and in an hour's time returned. And Ithen told him it was unnecessary to trouble you for your opinion aboutit. My cousin Morden was soon expected. If he were not, I could notadmit him to accompany me to him upon any condition. It was highlyimprobable that I should obtain the favour of either of his cousins'company: and if that could be brought about, it would be the same thingin the world's eye as if he went himself.
This led us into another conversation; which shall be the subject of mynext.