LETTER XXXV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. SAT., SUNDAY, MONDAY.
He gives, in several letters, the substance of what is contained in the last seven of the Lady's.
He tells his friend, that calling at The Lawn, in his way to M. Hall, (for he owns that he went not to Windsor,) he found the letters from Lady Betty Lawrance, and his cousin Montague, which Mrs. Greme was about sending to him by a special messenger.
He gives the particulars, from Mrs. Greme's report, of what passed between the Lady and her, as in Letter VI. and makes such declarations to Mrs. Greme of his honour and affection to the Lady, as put her upon writing the letter to her sister Sorlings, the contents of which are in Letter XXVIII.
He then accounts, as follows, for the serious humour he found her in on his return:
Upon such good terms when we parted, I was surprised to find so solemn abrow upon my return, and her charming eyes red with weeping. But when Ihad understood she had received letters from Miss Howe, it was naturalto imagine that that little devil had put her out of humour with me.
It is easy for me to perceive, that my charmer is more sullen whenshe receives, and has perused, a letter from that vixen, than at othertimes. But as the sweet maid shews, even then, more of passive grief,than of active spirit, I hope she is rather lamenting than plotting.And, indeed, for what now should she plot? when I am become a reformedman, and am hourly improving in my morals?--Nevertheless, I mustcontrive some way or other to get at their correspondence--only to seethe turn of it; that's all.
But no attempt of this kind must be made yet. A detected invasion, in anarticle so sacred, would ruin me beyond retrieve. Nevertheless, it vexesme to the heart to think that she is hourly writing her whole mind onall that passes between her and me, I under the same roof with her,yet kept at such awful distance, that I dare not break into acorrespondence, that may perhaps be a mean to defeat all my devices.
Would it be very wicked, Jack, to knock her messenger on the head, ashe is carrying my beloved's letters, or returning from Miss Howe's?--Toattempt to bribe him, and not succeed, would utterly ruin me. And theman seems to be one used to poverty, one who can sit down satisfied withit, and enjoy it; contented with hand-to-mouth conveniencies, and notaiming to live better to-morrow, than he does to-day, and than he didyesterday. Such a one is above temptation, unless it could come clothedin the guise of truth and trust. What likelihood of corrupting a man whohas no hope, no ambition?
Yet the rascal has but half life, and groans under that. Should I beanswerable in his case for a whole life?--But hang the fellow! Let himlive. Were I king, or a minister of state, an Antonio Perez,* it wereanother thing. And yet, on second thoughts, am I not a rake, as it iscalled? And who ever knew a rake stick at any thing? But thou knowest,Jack, that the greatest half of my wickedness is vapour, to shew myinvention; and to prove that I could be mischievous if I would.
* Antonio Perez was first minister of Philip II. king of Spain, by whosecommand he caused Don Juan de Escovedo to be assassinated: which broughton his own ruin, through the perfidy of his viler master.--Gedde'sTracts.
When he comes to that part where the Lady says (Letter XXIX.) in a sarcastic way, waving her hand, and bowing, 'Excuse me, good Mr. Lovelace, that I am willing to think the best of my father,' he gives a description of her air and manner, greatly to her advantage; and says,
I could hardly forbear taking her into my arms upon it, in spite of anexpected tempest. So much wit, so much beauty, such a lively manner,and such exceeding quickness and penetration! O Belford! she must benobody's but mine. I can now account for and justify Herod's command todestroy his Mariamne, if he returned not alive from his interview withCaesar: for were I to know that it were but probable that any otherman were to have this charming creature, even after my death, the verythought would be enough to provoke me to cut that man's throat, were hea prince.
I may be deemed by this lady a rapid, a boisterous lover--and she maylike me the less for it: but all the ladies I have met with, till now,loved to raise a tempest, and to enjoy it: nor did they ever raise it,but I enjoyed it too!--Lord send us once happily to London!
Mr. Lovelace gives the following account of his rude rapture, when he seized her hand, and put her, by his WILD manner, as she expresses it, Letter XXXIX. into such terror.
Darkness and light, I swore, were convertible at her pleasure: she couldmake any subject plausible. I was all error: she all perfection. And Isnatched her hand; and, more than kissed it, I was ready to devour it.There was, I believe, a kind of phrensy in my manner, which threw herinto a panic, like that of Semele perhaps, when the Thunderer, in allhis majesty, surrounded with ten thousand celestial burning-glasses, wasabout to scorch her into a cinder.
*****
Had not my heart misgiven me, and had I not, just in time, recollectedthat she was not so much in my power, but that she might abandon me ather pleasure, having more friends in that house than I had, I should atthat moment have made offers, that would have decided all, one wayor other.--But, apprehending that I had shewn too much meaning in mypassion, I gave it another turn.--But little did the charmer think thatan escape either she or I had (as the event might have proved) fromthat sudden gust of passion, which had like to have blown me intoher arms.--She was born, I told her, to make me happy and to save asoul.----
He gives the rest of his vehement speech pretty nearly in the same words as the Lady gives them: and then proceeds:
I saw she was frighted: and she would have had reason had the scene beenLondon, and that place in London, which I have in view to carry her to.She confirmed me in my apprehension, that I had alarmed her too much:she told me, that she saw what my boasted regard to her injunctions was;and she would take proper measures upon it, as I should find: that shewas shocked at my violent airs; and if I hoped any favour from her, Imust that instant withdraw, and leave her to her recollection.
She pronounced this in such a manner as shewed she was set upon it; and,having stepped out of the gentle, and polite part I had so newly engagedto act, I thought ready obedience was the best atonement. And indeed Iwas sensible, from her anger and repulses, that I wanted time myselffor recollection. And so I withdrew, with the same veneration as apetitioning subject would withdraw from the presence of his sovereign.But, O Belford! had she had but the least patience with me--had she butmade me think she would forgive this initiatory ardour--surely she willnot be always thus guarded.--
I had not been a moment by myself, but I was sensible that I had halfforfeited my newly-assumed character. It is exceedingly difficult, thouseest, for an honest man to act in disguises: as the poet says, ThrustNature back with a pitchfork, it will return. I recollected, that whatshe had insisted upon was really a part of that declared will before sheleft her father's house, to which in another case (to humble her) I hadpretended to have an inviolable regard. And when I had remembered herwords of taking her measures accordingly, I was resolved to sacrificea leg or an arm to make all up again, before she had time to determineupon any new measures.
How seasonably to this purpose have come in my aunt's and cousin'sletters!
*****
I have sent in again and again to implore her to admit me to herpresence. But she will conclude a letter she is writing to Miss Howe,before she will see me.--I suppose to give her an account of what hasjust passed.
*****
Curse upon her perverse tyranny! How she makes me wait for an humbleaudience, though she has done writing for some time! A prince beggingfor her upon his knees should not prevail upon me to spare her, if I canbut get her to London--Oons! Jack, I believe I have bit my lip throughfor vexation!--But one day her's shall smart for it.
Mr. Lovelace, beginning a new date, gives an account of his admittance, and of the conversation that followed: which differing only in style from that of the Lady gives in the next let
ter is omitted.
He collects the lady's expressions, which his pride cannot bear: such as, That he is a stranger to the decorums which she thought inseparable from a man of birth and education; and that he is not the accomplished man he imagines himself to be; and threatens to remember them against her.
He values himself upon his proposals and speeches, which he gives to his friend pretty much to the same purpose that the Lady does in her four last letters.
After mentioning his proposal to her that she would borrow a servant from Miss Howe, till Hannah could come, he writes as follows:
Thou seest, Belford, that my charmer has no notion that Miss Howeherself is but a puppet danced upon my wires at second or third hand. Tooutwit, and impel, as I please, two such girls as these, who think theyknow every thing; and, by taking advantage of the pride and ill-natureof the old ones of both families, to play them off likewise at the verytime they think they are doing me spiteful displeasure; what charmingrevenge!--Then the sweet creature, when I wished that her brother wasnot at the bottom of Mrs. Howe's resentment, to tell me, that she wasafraid he was, or her uncle would not have appeared against her to thatlady!--Pretty dear! how innocent!
But don't think me the cause neither of her family's malice andresentment. It is all in their hearts. I work but with their materials.They, if left to their own wicked direction, would perhaps express theirrevenge by fire and faggot; that is to say, by the private dagger, orby Lord Chief Justices' warrants, by law, and so forth: I only pointthe lightning, and teach it where to dart, without the thunder. In otherwords, I only guide the effects: the cause is in their malignant hearts:and while I am doing a little mischief, I prevent a great deal.
Thus he exalts on her mentioning London:
I wanted her to propose London herself. This made me again mentionWindsor. If you would have a woman do one thing, you must always proposeanother, and that the very contrary: the sex! the very sex! as I hopeto be saved!--Why, Jack, they lay a man under a necessity to deal doublywith them! And, when they find themselves outwitted, they cry out uponan honest fellow, who has been too hard for them at their own weapons.
I could hardly contain myself. My heart was at my throat.--Down, down,said I to myself, exuberant exultation! A sudden cough befriended me;I again turned to her, all as indifferenced over as a girl at the firstlong-expected question, who waits for two more. I heard out the rest ofher speech: and when she had done, instead of saying any thing to herfor London, I advised her to send for Mrs. Norton.
As I knew she would be afraid of lying under obligation, I could haveproposed to do so much for the good woman and her son, as would havemade her resolve that I should do nothing: this, however, not merely toavoid expense. But there was no such thing as allowing of the presenceof Mrs. Norton. I might as well have had her mother or her aunt Herveywith her. Hannah, had she been able to come, and had she actually come,I could have done well enough with. What do I keep fellows idling in thecountry for, but to fall in love, and even to marry those whom I wouldhave them marry? Nor, upon second thoughts, would the presence of herNorton, or of her aunt, or even of her mother, have saved the dearcreature, had I decreed her fall.
How unequal is a modest woman to the adventure, when she throws herselfinto the power of a rake! Punctilio will, at any time, stand for reasonwith such an one. She cannot break through a well-tested modesty. Nonebut the impudent little rogues, who can name the parson and the churchbefore you think of either, and undress and go to bed before you thenext hour, should think of running away with a man.
*****
I am in the right train now. Every hour, I doubt not, will give me anincreasing interest in the affections of this proud beauty. I have justcarried unpoliteness far enough to make her afraid of me; and to shewher, that I am no whiner. Every instance of politeness, now, will giveme double credit with her. My next point will be to make her acknowledgea lambent flame, a preference of me to all other men, at least: andthen my happy hour is not far off. An acknowledged reciprocality in lovesanctifies every little freedom: and little freedoms beget greater.And if she call me ungenerous, I can call her cruel. The sex love to becalled cruel. Many a time have I complained of cruelty, even in the actof yielding, because I knew it gratified the fair one's pride.
Mentioning that he had only hinted at Mr. Belford's lodgings as an instance to confirm what he had told her, that he knew of none in London fit for her, he says,
I had a mind to alarm her with something furthest from my purpose; for(as much as she disliked my motion) I intend nothing by it: Mrs. Osgoodis too pious a woman; and would have been more her friend than mine.
I had a view, moreover, to give her an high opinion of her own sagacity.I love, when I dig a put, to have my prey tumble in with secure feet,and open eyes: then a man can look down upon her, with an O-ho, charmer,how came you there?
MONDAY, APRIL 17.
I have just now received a fresh piece of intelligence from my agent,honest Joseph Leman. Thou knowest the history of poor Miss Betterton ofNottingham. James Harlowe is plotting to revive the resentments of herfamily against me. The Harlowes took great pains, some time ago, toendeavour to get to the bottom of that story. But now the foolish devilsare resolved to do something in it, if they can. My head is working tomake this booby 'squire a plotter, and a clever fellow, in order to turnhis plots to my advantage, supposing his sister shall aim to keep meat arm's length when in town, and to send me from her. But I will, inproper time, let thee see Joseph's letter, and what I shall answer toit.* To know in time a designed mischief, is, with me, to disappoint it,and to turn it upon the contriver's head.
* See Letters XLVII., XLVIII. of this volume.
Joseph is plaguy squeamish again; but I know he only intends by hisqualms to swell his merits with me. O Belford! Belford! what a vilecorruptible rogue, whether in poor or rich, is human nature!