Read Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 3 Page 39

  LETTER XXXVII

  MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE WEDN. MORNING, APRIL 19.

  I am glad, my dear friend, that you approve of my removal to London.

  The disagreement between your mother and you gives me inexpressibleaffliction. I hope I think you both more unhappy than you are. But Ibeseech you let me know the particulars of the debate you call a verypretty one. I am well acquainted with your dialect. When I am informedof the whole, let your mother have been ever so severe upon me, Ishall be easier a great deal.--Faulty people should rather deplore theoccasion they have given for anger than resent it.

  If I am to be obliged to any body in England for money, it shall be toyou. Your mother need not know of your kindness to me, you say--but shemust know it, if it be done, and if she challenge my beloved friend uponit; for would you either falsify or prevaricate?--I wish your mothercould be made easy on this head--forgive me, my dear,--but Iknow--Yet once she had a better opinion of me.--O my inconsideraterashness!--Excuse me once more, I pray you.--Pride, when it is native,will shew itself sometimes in the midst of mortifications--but mystomach is down already.

  *****

  I am unhappy that I cannot have my worthy Hannah. I am sorry for thepoor creature's illness as for my own disappointment by it. Come, mydear Miss Howe, since you press me to be beholden to you: and wouldthink me proud if I absolutely refused your favour; pray be so good asto send her two guineas in my name.

  If I have nothing for it, as you say, but matrimony, it yields littlecomfort, that his relations do not despise the fugitive, as persons oftheir rank and quality-pride might be supposed to do, for having been afugitive.

  But O my cruel, thrice cruel uncle! to suppose--but my heart checks mypen, and will not let it proceed, on an intimation so extremely shockingas that which he supposes!--Yet, if thus they have been persuaded, nowonder if they are irreconcilable.

  This is all my hard-hearted brother's doings!--His surmisings:--Godforgive him--prays his injured sister!