LETTER L
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE SATURDAY, APRIL 22.
I cannot for my life account for your wretch's teasing ways; but hecertainly doubts your love of him. In this he is a modest man, as wellas somebody else; and tacitly confesses that he does not deserve it.
Your Israelitish hankerings after the Egyptian onion, (testified stillmore in your letter to your aunt,) your often repeated regrets formeeting him, for being betrayed by him--these he cannot bear.
I have been looking back on the whole of his conduct, and comparing itwith his general character; and find that he is more consistently, moreuniformly, mean, revengeful, and proud, than either of us once imagined.
From his cradle, as I may say, as an only child, and a boy, humoursome,spoiled, mischievous; the governor of his governors.
A libertine in his riper years, hardly regardful of appearances; anddespising the sex in general, for the faults of particulars of it, whomade themselves too cheap to him.
What has been his behaviour in your family?--a CLARISSA in view, (fromthe time your foolish brother was obliged to take a life from him,)but defiance for defiances. Getting you into his power by terror, byartifice. What politeness can be expected from such a man?
Well, but what in such a situation is to be done? Why, you mustdespise him: you must hate him, if you can, and run away from him--Butwhither?--Whither indeed, now that your brother is laying foolish plotsto put you in a still worse condition, as it may happen.
But if you cannot despise and hate him--if you care not to break withhim, you must part with some punctilio's. And if the so doing bringnot on the solemnity, you must put yourself into the protection of theladies of his family.
Their respect for you is of itself a security for his honour to you, ifthere could be any room for doubt. And at least, you should remind himof his offer to bring one of the Miss Montagues to attend you at yournew lodgings in town, and accompany you till all is happily over.
This, you'll say, will be as good as declaring yourself to be his. Andso let it. You ought not now to think of any thing else but to be his.Does not your brother's project convince you more and more of this?
Give over then, my dearest friend, any thoughts of this hopelessreconciliation, which has kept you balancing thus long. You own, in theletter before me, that he made very explicit offers, though you give menot the very words. And he gave his reasons, I perceive, with his wishesthat you should accept them; which very few of the sorry fellows do,whose plea is generally but a compliment to our self-love--That we mustlove them, however presumptuous and unworthy, because they love us.
Were I in your place, and had your charming delicacies, I should,perhaps, do as you do. No doubt but I should expect that the manshould urge me with respectful warmth; that he should supplicate withconstancy, and that all his words and actions should tend to the oneprincipal point; nevertheless, if I suspected art or delay, founded uponhis doubts of my love, I would either condescend to clear up is doubtsor renounce him for ever.
And in my last case, I, your Anna Howe, would exert myself, and eitherfind you a private refuge, or resolve to share fortunes with you.
What a wretch! to be so easily answered by your reference to the arrivalof your cousin Morden! But I am afraid that you was too scrupulous: fordid he not resent that reference?
Could we have his account of the matter, I fancy, my dear, I shouldthink you over nice, over delicate.* Had you laid hold of hisacknowledged explicitness, he would have been as much in your power, asnow you seem to be in his: you wanted not to be told, that the personwho had been tricked into such a step as you had taken, must ofnecessity submit to many mortifications.
* The reader who has seen his account, which Miss Howe could not haveseen, when she wrote thus, will observe that it was not possible for aperson of her true delicacy of mind to act otherwise than she did, to aman so cruelly and so insolently artful.
But were it to me, a girl of spirit as I am thought to be, I do assureyou, I would, in a quarter of an hour (all the time I would allow topunctilio in such a case as yours) know what he drives at: since eitherhe must mean well or ill; if ill, the sooner you know it, the better. Ifwell, whose modesty is it he distresses, but that of his own wife?
And methinks you should endeavour to avoid all exasperatingrecriminations, as to what you have heard of his failure in morals;especially while you are so happy as not to have occasion to speak ofthem by experience.
I grant that it gives a worthy mind some satisfaction in having borneits testimony against the immoralities of a bad one. But that correctionwhich is unseasonably given, is more likely either to harden or make anhypocrite, than to reclaim.
I am pleased, however, as well as you, with his making light of yourbrother's wise project.--Poor creature! and must Master Jemmy Harlowe,with his half-wit, pretend to plot, and contrive mischief, yet rail atLovelace for the same things?--A witty villain deserves hanging at once(and without ceremony, if you please): but a half-witted one deservesbroken bones first, and hanging afterwards. I think Lovelace has givenhis character in a few words.*
* See Letter XLV. of this volume.
Be angry at me, if you please; but as sure as you are alive, now thatthis poor creature, whom some call your brother, finds he has succeededin making you fly your father's house, and that he has nothing to fearbut your getting into your own, and into an independence of him,he thinks himself equal to any thing, and so he has a mind to fightLovelace with his own weapons.
Don't you remember his pragmatical triumph, as told you by your aunt,and prided in by that saucy Betty Barnes, from his own foolish mouth?*
* See Vol.II. Letter XLVII.
I expect nothing from your letter to your aunt. I hope Lovelace willnever know the contents of it. In every one of yours, I see that heas warmly resents as he dares the little confidence you have in him. Ishould resent it too, were I he; and knew that I deserved better.
Don't be scrupulous about clothes, if you think of putting yourself intothe protection of the ladies of his family. They know how matters standbetween you and your relations, and love you never the worse for thesilly people's cruelty.
I know you won't demand possession of your estate. But give him a rightto demand it for you; and that will be still better.
Adieu, my dear! May heaven guide and direct you in all your steps, isthe daily prayer of
Your ever affectionate and faithful ANNA HOWE.