LETTER XIII
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.TUESDAY, MAY 2.
Mercury, as the fabulist tells us, having the curiosity to know theestimation he stood in among mortals, descended in disguise, and in astatuary's shop cheapened a Jupiter, then a Juno, then one, then another,of the dii majores; and, at last, asked, What price that same statue ofMercury bore? O Sir, says the artist, buy one of the others, and I'llthrow you in that for nothing.
How sheepish must the god of thieves look upon this rebuff to his vanity!
So thou! a thousand pounds wouldst thou give for the good opinion of thissingle lady--to be only thought tolerably of, and not quite unworthy ofher conversation, would make thee happy. And at parting last night, orrather this morning, thou madest me promise a few lines to Edgware, tolet thee know what she thinks of thee, and of thy brethren.
Thy thousand pounds, Jack, is all thy own: for most heartily does shedislike ye all--thee as much as any of the rest.
I am sorry for it too, as to thy part; for two reasons--one, that I thinkthy motive for thy curiosity was fear of consciousness: whereas that ofthe arch-thief was vanity, intolerable vanity: and he was thereforejustly sent away with a blush upon his cheeks to heaven, and could notbrag--the other, that I am afraid, if she dislikes thee, she dislikes me:for are we not birds of a feather?
I must never talk of reformation, she told me, having such companions,and taking such delight, as I seemed to take, in their frothyconversation.
I, no more than you, Jack, imagined she could possibly like ye: but then,as my friends, I thought a person of her education would have been moresparing of her censures.
I don't know how it is, Belford; but women think themselves entitled totake any freedoms with us; while we are unpolite, forsooth, and I can'ttell what, if we don't tell a pack of cursed lies, and make black white,in their favour--teaching us to be hypocrites, yet stigmatizing us, atother times, for deceivers.
I defended ye all as well as I could: but you know there was noattempting aught but a palliative defence, to one of her principles.
I will summarily give thee a few of my pleas.
'To the pure, every little deviation seemed offensive: yet I saw not,that there was any thing amiss the whole evening, either in the words orbehaviour of any of my friends. Some people could talk but upon one ortwo subjects: she upon every one: no wonder, therefore, they talked towhat they understood best; and to mere objects of sense. Had shehonoured us with more of her conversation, she would have been lessdisgusted with ours; for she saw how every one was prepared to admireher, whenever she opened her lips. You, in particular, had said, whenshe retired, that virtue itself spoke when she spoke, but that you hadsuch an awe upon you, after she had favoured us with an observation ortwo on a subject started, that you should ever be afraid in her companyto be found most exceptionable, when you intended to be least so.'
Plainly, she said, she neither liked my companions nor the house she wasin.
I liked not the house any more than she: though the people were veryobliging, and she had owned they were less exceptionable to herself thanat first: And were we not about another of our own?
She did not like Miss Partington--let her fortune be what it would, andshe had heard a great deal said of her fortune, she should not choose anintimacy with her. She thought it was a hardship to be put upon such adifficulty as she was put upon the preceding night, when there werelodgers in the front-house, whom they had reason to be freer with, than,upon so short an acquaintance, with her.
I pretended to be an utter stranger as to this particular; and, when sheexplained herself upon it, condemned Mrs. Sinclair's request, and calledit a confident one.
She, artfully, made lighter of her denial of the girl for a bedfellow,than she thought of it, I could see that; for it was plain, she supposedthere was room for me to think she had been either over-nice, or over-cautious.
I offered to resent Mrs. Sinclair's freedom.
No; there was no great matter in it. It was best to let it pass. Itmight be thought more particular in her to deny such a request, than inMrs. Sinclair to make it, or in Miss Partington to expect it to becomplied with. But as the people below had a large acquaintance, she didnot know how often she might indeed have her retirements invaded, if shegave way. And indeed there were levities in the behaviour of that younglady, which she could not so far pass over as to wish an intimacy withher.
I said, I liked Miss Partington as little as she could. Miss Partingtonwas a silly young creature; who seemed to justify the watchfulness of herguardians over her.--But nevertheless, as to her own, that I thought thegirl (for girl she was, as to discretion) not exceptionable; onlycarrying herself like a free good-natured creature who believed herselfsecure in the honour of her company.
It was very well said of me, she replied: but if that young lady were sowell satisfied with her company, she must needs say, that I was very kindto suppose her such an innocent--for her own part, she had seen nothingof the London world: but thought, she must tell me plainly, that shenever was in such company in her life; nor ever again wished to be insuch.
There, Belford!--Worse off than Mercury!--Art thou not?
I was nettled. Hard would be the lot of more discreet women, as far as Iknew, that Miss Partington, were they to be judged by so rigid a virtueas hers.
Not so, she said: but if I really saw nothing exceptionable to a virtuousmind, in that young person's behaviour, my ignorance of better behaviourwas, she must needs tell me, as pitiable as hers: and it were to bewished, that minds so paired, for their own sakes should never beseparated.
See, Jack, what I get by my charity!
I thanked her heartily. But said, that I must take the liberty toobserve, that good folks were generally so uncharitable, that, devil takeme, if I would choose to be good, were the consequence to be that I mustthink hardly of the whole world besides.
She congratulated me upon my charity; but told me, that to enlarge herown, she hoped it would not be expected of her to approve of the lowcompany I had brought her into last night.
No exception for thee, Belford!--Safe is thy thousand pounds.
I saw not, I said, begging her pardon, that she liked any body.--[Plaindealing for plain dealing, Jack!--Why then did she abuse my friends?]However, let me but know whom and what she did or did not like; and, ifpossible, I would like and dislike the very same persons and things.
She bid me then, in a pet, dislike myself.
Cursed severe!--Does she think she must not pay for it one day, or onenight?--And if one, many; that's my comfort.
I was in such a train of being happy, I said, before my earnestness toprocure her to favour my friends with her company, that I wished thedevil had had as well my friends as Miss Partington--and yet, I must say,that I saw not how good people could answer half their end, which is toreform the wicked by precept as well as example, were they to accompanyonly with the good.
I had the like to have been blasted by two or three flashes of lightningfrom her indignant eyes; and she turned scornfully from me, and retiredto her own apartment.
Once more, Jack, safe, as thou seest, is thy thousand pounds.
She says, I am not a polite man. But is she, in the instance before us,more polite for a woman?
And now, dost thou not think that I owe my charmer some revenge for hercruelty in obliging such a fine young creature, and so vast a fortune, asMiss Partington, to crowd into a press-bed with Dorcas the maid-servantof the proud refuser?--Miss Partington too (with tears) declared, by Mrs.Sinclair, that would Mrs. Lovelace do her the honour of a visit atBarnet, the best bed and best room in her guardian's house should be ather service. Thinkest thou that I could not guess at her dishonourablefears of me?--that she apprehended, that the supposed husband wouldendeavour to take possession of his own?--and that Miss Partington wouldbe willing to contribute to such a piece of justice?
Thus, then, thou both remindest, and defiest me, charmer!--And since thoureliest
more on thy own precaution than upon my honour; be it unto thee,fair one, as thou apprehendest.
And now, Jack, let me know, what thy opinion, and the opinions of thybrother varlets, are of my Gloriana.
I have just now heard, that Hannah hopes to be soon well enough to attendher young lady, when in London. It seems the girl has had no physician.I must send her one, out of pure love and respect to her mistress. Whoknows but medicine may weaken nature, and strengthen the disease?--As hermalady is not a fever, very likely it may do so.--But perhaps the wench'shopes are too forward. Blustering weather in this month yet.--And thatis bad for rheumatic complaints.