LETTER XLIV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.SUNDAY, MAY 21.
I am too much disturbed in my mind to think of any thing but revenge; orI did intend to give thee an account of Miss Harlowe's observations onthe play. Miss Harlowe's I say. Thou knowest that I hate the name ofHarlowe; and I am exceedingly out of humour with her, and with her saucyfriend.
What's the matter now? thou'lt ask.
Matter enough; for while we were at the play, Dorcas, who had her orders,and a key to her lady's chamber, as well as a master-key to her drawersand mahogany chest, closet-key and all, found means to come at some ofMiss Howe's last-written letters. The vigilant wench was directed tothem by seeing her lady take a letter out of her stays, and put it to theothers, before she went out with me--afraid, as the women upbraidinglytell me, that I should find it there.
Dorcas no sooner found them, than she assembled three ready writers ofthe non-apparents; and Sally, and she, and they employed themselves withthe utmost diligence, in making extracts, according to former directions,from these cursed letters, for my use. Cursed, may I well call them--Such abuses!--Such virulence!--O this little fury Miss Howe!--Well mighther saucy friend (who has been equally free with me, or the occasioncould not have been given) be so violent as she lately was, at myendeavouring to come at one of these letters.
I was sure, that this fair-one, at so early an age, with a constitutionso firm, health so blooming, eyes so sparkling, expectations therefore solively, and hope so predominating, could not be absolutely, and from herown vigilance, so guarded, and so apprehensive, as I have found her tobe.
Sparkling eyes, Jack, when the poetical tribe have said all they can forthem, are an infallible sign of a rogue, or room for a rogue, in theheart.
Thou mayest go on with thy preachments, and Lord M. with his wisdom ofnations, I am now more assured of her than ever. And now my revenge isup, and joined with my love, all resistance must fall before it. Andmost solemnly do I swear, that Miss Howe shall come in for her snack.
And here, just now, is another letter brought from the same littlevirulent devil. I hope to procure scripts from that too, very speedily,if it be put to the test; for the saucy fair-one is resolved to go tochurch this morning; no so much from a spirit of devotion, I have reasonto think, as to try whether she can go out without check, controul, ormy attention.
***
I have been denied breakfasting with her. Indeed she was a littledispleased with me last night: because, on our return from the play, Iobliged her to pass the rest of the night with the women and me, in theirparlour, and to stay till near one. She told me at parting, that sheexpected to have the whole next day to herself. I had not read theextracts then; so I had resolved to begin a new course, and, if possible,to banish all jealousy and suspicion from her heart: and yet I had noreason to be much troubled at her past suspicions; since, if a woman willcontinue with a man whom she suspects, when she can get from him, orthinks she can, I am sure it is a very hopeful sign.
***
She is gone. Slipt down before I was aware. She had ordered a chair, onpurpose to exclude my personal attendance. But I had taken properprecautions. Will. attended her by consent; Peter, the house-servant,was within Will.'s call.
I had, by Dorcas, represented her danger from Singleton, in order todissuade her from going at all, unless she allowed me to attend her; butI was answered, with her usual saucy smartness, that if there were nocause of fear of being met with at the playhouse, when there were but twoplayhouses, surely there was less at church, when there were so manychurches. The chairmen were ordered to carry her to St. James's Church.
But she would not be so careless of obliging me, if she knew what I havealready come at, and how the women urge me on; for they are continuallycomplaining of the restraint they lie under in their behaviour; in theirattendance; neglecting all their concerns in the front house; and keepingthis elegant back one entirely free from company, that she may have nosuspicion of them. They doubt not my generosity, they say: But why formy own sake, in Lord M.'s style, should I make so long a harvest of solittle corn?
Women, ye reason well. I think I will begin my operations the moment shecomes in.
***
I have come at the letter brought her from Miss Howe to-day. Plot,conjuration, sorcery, witchcraft, all going forward! I shall not be ableto see this Miss Harlowe with patience. As the nymphs below ask, so doI, Why is night necessary? And Sally and Polly upbraidingly remind me ofmy first attempts upon themselves. Yet force answers not my end--and yetit may, if there be truth in that part of the libertine's creed, Thatonce subdued, is always subdued! And what woman answers affirmatively tothe question?
***
She is returned: But refuses to admit me: and insists upon having the dayto herself. Dorcas tells me, that she believes her denial is frommotives of piety.--Oons, Jack, is there impiety in seeing me?--Would itnot be the highest act of piety to reclaim me? And is this to be done byher refusing to see me when she is in a devouter frame than usual?--But Ihate her, hate her heartily! She is old, ugly, and deformed.--But O theblasphemy! yet she is a Harlowe: and I do and can hate her for that.
But since I must not see her, [she will be mistress of her own will, andof her time, truly!] let me fill up my time, by telling thee what I havecome at.
The first letter the women met with, is dated April 27.* Where can shehave put the preceding ones!--It mentions Mr. Hickman as a busy fellowbetween them. Hickman had best take care of himself. She says in it, 'Ihope you have no cause to repent returning my Norris--it is forthcomingon demand.' Now, what the devil can this mean!--Her Norris forthcomingon demand!--the devil take me, if I am out-Norris'd!--If such innocentscan allow themselves to plot (to Norris), well may I.
* See Vol. IV. Letter II.
She is sorry, that 'her Hannah can't be with her.'--And what if shecould?--What could Hannah do for her in such a house as this?
'The women in the house are to be found out in one breakfasting.' Thewomen are enraged at both the correspondents for this; and more than evermake a point of my subduing her. I had a good mind to give Miss Howe tothem in full property. Say but the word, Jack, and it shall be done.
'She is glad that Miss Harlowe had thoughts of taking me at my word. Shewondered I did not offer again.' Advises her, if I don't soon, 'not tostay with me.' Cautions her, 'to keep me at a distance; not to permitthe least familiarity.'--See, Jack! see Belford!--Exactly as I thought!--Her vigilance all owing to a cool friend; who can sit down quietly, andgive that advice, which in her own case she could not take. What anencouragement to me to proceed in my devices, when I have reason to thinkthat my beloved's reserves are owing more to Miss Howe's cautions than toher own inclinations! But 'it is my interest to be honest,' Miss Howetells her.--INTEREST, fools!--I thought these girls knew, that myinterest was ever subservient to my pleasure.
What would I give to come at the copies of the letters to which those ofMiss Howe are answers!
The next letter is dated May 3.* In this the little termagant expressesher astonishment, that her mother should write to Miss Harlowe, to forbidher to correspond with her daughter. Mr. Hickman, she says, is ofopinion, 'that she ought not to obey her mother.' How the creepingfellow trims between both! I am afraid, that I must punish him, as wellas this virago; and I have a scheme rumbling in my head, that wants buthalf an hour's musing to bring into form, that will do my business uponboth. I cannot bear, that the parental authority should be thusdespised, thus trampled under foot. But observe the vixen, ''Tis well heis of her opinion; for her mother having set her up, she must havesomebody to quarrel with.'--Could a Lovelace have allowed himself agreater license? This girl's a devilish rake in her heart. Had she beena man, and one of us, she'd have outdone us all in enterprise and spirit.
* See Vol. IV. Letter X.
'She wants but very little farther provocation,' she says, 'to flyprivately to London. And if she does, she will not leave
her till shesees her either honourably married, or quit of the wretch.' Here, Jack,the transcriber Sally has added a prayer--'For the Lord's sake, dear Mr.Lovealce, get this fury to London!'--Her fate, I can tell thee, Jack, ifwe had her among us, should not be so long deciding as her friend's.What a gantelope would she run, when I had done with her, among a dozenof her own pitiless sex, whom my charmer shall never see!--But more ofthis anon.
I find by this letter, that my saucy captive has been drawing thecharacters of every varlet of ye. Nor am I spared in it more than you.'The man's a fool, to be sure, my dear.' Let me perish, if they eitherof them find me one!--'A silly fellow, at least.' Cursed contemptible!--'I see not but they are a set of infernals!' There's one for thee,Lovelace! and yet she would have her friend marry a Beelzebub.--And whathave any of us done, (within the knowledge of Miss Harlowe,) that sheshould give such an account of us, as should excuse so much abuse fromMiss Howe!--But the occasion that shall warrant this abuse is to come!
She blames her, for 'not admitting Miss Partington to her bed--watchful,as you are, what could have happened?--If violence were intended, hewould not stay for the night.' I am ashamed to have this hinted to me bythis virago. Sally writes upon this hint--'See, Sir, what is expectedfrom you. An hundred, and an hundred times have we told you of this.'--And so they have. But to be sure, the advice from them was not half theefficacy as it will be from Miss Howe.--'You might have sat up after her,or not gone to bed,' proceeds she.
But can there be such apprehensions between them, yet the one advise herto stay, and the other resolve to wait my imperial motion for marriage?I am glad I know that.
She approves of my proposal of Mrs. Fretchville's house. She puts herupon expecting settlements; upon naming a day: and concludes withinsisting upon her writing, notwithstanding her mother's prohibitions;or bids her 'take the consequence.' Undutiful wretches! How I long tovindicate against them both the insulted parental character!
Thou wilt say to thyself, by this time, And can this proud and insolentgirl be the same Miss Howe, who sighed for an honest Sir George Colmar;and who, but for this her beloved friend, would have followed him in allhis broken fortunes, when he was obliged to quit the kingdom?
Yes, she is the very same. And I always found in others, as well as inmyself, that a first passion thoroughly subdued, made the conqueror of ita rover; the conqueress a tyrant.
Well, but now comes mincing in a letter, from one who has 'the honour ofdear Miss Howe's commands'* to acquaint Miss Harlowe, that Miss Howe is'excessively concerned for the concern she has given her.'
* See Vol. IV. Letter XII.
'I have great temptations, on this occasion,' says the prim Gothamite,'to express my own resentments upon your present state.'
'My own resentments!'----And why did he not fall into this temptation?--Why, truly, because he knew not what that state was which gave him sotempting a subject--only by a conjecture, and so forth.
He then dances in his style, as he does in his gait! To be sure, to besure, he must have made the grand tour, and come home by way ofTipperary.
'And being moreover forbid,' says the prancer, 'to enter into the cruelsubject.'--This prohibition was a mercy to thee, friend Hickman!--But whycruel subject, if thou knowest not what it is, but conjecturest only fromthe disturbance it gives to a girl, that is her mother's disturbance,will be thy disturbance, and the disturbance, in turn, of every body withwhom she is intimately acquainted, unless I have the humbling of her?
In another letter,* the little fury professes, 'that she will write, andthat no man shall write for her,' as if some medium of that kind had beenproposed. She approves of her fair friend's intention 'to leave me, ifshe can be received by her relations. I am a wretch, a foolish wretch.She hates me for my teasing ways. She has just made an acquaintance withone who knows a vast deal of my private history.' A curse upon her, andupon her historiographer!--'The man is really a villain, an execrableone.' Devil take her!--'Had I a dozen lives, I might have forfeited themall twenty crimes ago.' An odd way of reckoning, Jack!
* See Letter XXIII. of this volume.
Miss Betterton, Miss Lockyer, are named--the man, (she irreverentlyrepeats) she again calls a villain. Let me perish, I repeat, if I amcalled a villain for nothing!--She 'will have her uncle,' as Miss Harlowerequests, 'sounded about receiving her. Dorcas is to be attached to herinterest: my letters are to be come at by surprise or trick'--
What thinkest thou of this, Jack?
Miss Howe is alarmed at my attempt to come at a letter of hers.
'Were I to come at the knowledge of her freedoms with my character,' shesays, 'she should be afraid to stir out without a guard.' I would advisethe vixen to get her guard ready.
'I am at the head of a gang of wretches,' [thee, Jack, and thy brothervarlets, she owns she means,] 'who join together to betray innocentcreatures, and to support one another in their villanies.'--What sayestthou to this, Belford?
'She wonders not at her melancholy reflections for meeting me, for beingforced upon me, and tricked by me.'--I hope, Jack, thou'lt have donepreaching after this!
But she comforts her, 'that she will be both a warning and an example toall her sex.' I hope the sex will thank me for this!
The nymphs had not time, they say, to transcribe all that was worthy ofmy resentment in this letter: so I must find an opportunity to come at itmyself. Noble rant, they say, it contains--But I am a seducer, and ahundred vile fellows, in it.--'And the devil, it seems, took possessionof my heart, and of the hearts of all her friends, in the same dark hour,in order to provoke her to meet me.' Again, 'There is a fate in hererror,' she says--Why then should she grieve?--'Adversity is her shiningtime,' and I can't tell what; yet never to thank the man to whom she owesthe shine!
In the next letter,* wicked as I am, 'she fears I must be her lord andmaster.'
* See Letter XXIX. of this volume.
I hope so.
She retracts what she said against me in her last.--My behaviour to myRosebud; Miss Harlowe to take possession of Mrs. Fretchville's house; Ito stay at Mrs. Sinclair's; the stake I have in my country; myreversions; my economy; my person; my address; [something like in allthis!] are brought in my favour, to induce her now not to leave me. Howdo I love to puzzle these long-sighted girls!
Yet 'my teasing ways,' it seems, 'are intolerable.'--Are women only totease, I trow? The sex may thank themselves for teaching me to out-teasethem. So the headstrong Charles XII. of Sweden taught the Czar Peter tobeat him, by continuing a war with the Muscovites against the ancientmaxims of his kingdom.
'May eternal vengeance PURSUE the villain, [thank heaven, she does notsay overtake,] if he give room to doubt his honour!'--Women can't swear,Jack--sweet souls! they can only curse.
I am said, to doubt her love--Have I not reason? And she, to doubt myardour--Ardour, Jack!--why, 'tis very right--women, as Miss Howe says,and as every rake knows, love ardours!
She apprizes her, of the 'ill success of the application made to heruncle.'--By Hickman no doubt!--I must have this fellow's ears in mypocket, very quickly I believe.
She says, 'she is equally shocked and enraged against all her family:Mrs. Norton's weight has been tried upon Mrs. Harlowe, as well as Mr.Hickman's upon the uncle: but never were there,' says the vixen, 'suchdetermined brutes in the world. Her uncle concludes her ruined already.'Is not that a call upon me, as well as a reproach?--'They all expectedapplications from her when in distress--but were resolved not to stir aninch to save her life.' Miss Howe 'is concerned,' she tells her, 'forthe revenge my pride may put me upon taking for the distance she has keptme at'--and well she may.--It is now evident to her, that she must bemine (for her cousin Morden, it seems, is set against her too)--an act ofnecessity, of convenience!--thy friend, Jack, to be already made awoman's convenience! Is this to be borne by a Lovelace?
I shall make great use of this letter. From Miss Howe's hints of whatpassed between her uncle Harlowe and Hickman, [it must be
Hickman,] I cangive room for my invention to play; for she tells her, that 'she will notreveal all.' I must endeavour to come at this letter myself. I musthave the very words: extracts will not do. This letter, when I have it,must be my compass to steer by.
The fire of friendship then blazes and crackles. I never before imaginedthat so fervent a friendship could subsist between two sister-beauties,both toasts. But even here it may be inflamed by opposition, and by thatcontradiction which gives vigour to female spirits of a warm and romanticturn.
She raves about 'coming up, if by doing so she could prevent so noble acreature from stooping too low, or save her from ruin.'--One reed tosupport another! I think I will contrive to bring her up.
How comes it to pass, that I cannot help being pleased with this virago'sspirit, though I suffer by it? Had I her but here, I'd engage, in aweek's time, to teach her submission without reserve. What pleasureshould I have in breaking such a spirit! I should wish for her but forone month, I think. She would be too tame and spiritless for me afterthat. How sweetly pretty to see the two lovely friends, when humbled andtame, both sitting in the darkest corner of a room, arm in arm, weepingand sobbing for each other!--and I their emperor, their then acknowledgedemperor, reclined at my ease in the same room, uncertain to which Ishould first, grand signor like, throw out my handkerchief!
Again mind the girl: 'She is enraged at the Harlowes;' she is 'angry ather own mother;' she is exasperated against her foolish and low-vanity'dLovelace.' FOOLISH, a little toad! [God forgive me for calling such avirtuous girl a toad!]--'Let us stoop to lift the wretch out of his dirt,though we soil our fingers in doing it! He has not been guilty of directindecency to you.' It seems extraordinary to Miss Howe that I have not.--'Nor dare he!' She should be sure of that. If women have such thingsin their heads, why should not I in my heart? Not so much of a devil asthat comes to neither. Such villainous intentions would have shownthemselves before now if I had them.--Lord help them!--
She then puts her friend upon urging for settlements, license, and soforth.--'No room for delicacy now,' she says; and tells her what sheshall say, 'to bring all forward from me.' Is it not as clear to thee,Jack, as it is to me, that I should have carried my point long ago, butfor this vixen?--She reproaches her for having MODESTY'D away, as shecalls it, more than one opportunity, that she ought not to have slipt.--Thus thou seest, that the noblest of the sex mean nothing in the worldby their shyness and distance, but to pound the poor fellow they dislikenot, when he comes into their purlieus.
Though 'tricked into this man's power,' she tells her, she is 'not meanlysubjugated to it.' There are hopes of my reformation, it seems, 'from myreverence for her; since before her I never had any reverence for whatwas good!' I am 'a great, a specious deceiver.' I thank her for this,however. A good moral use, she says, may be made of my 'having prevailedupon her to swerve.' I am glad that any good may flow from my actions.
Annexed to this letter is a paper the most saucy that ever was written ofa mother by a daughter. There are in it such free reflections uponwidows and bachelors, that I cannot but wonder how Miss Howe came by herlearning. Sir George Colmar, I can tell thee, was a greater fool thanthy friend, if she had it all for nothing.
The contents of this paper acquaint Miss Harlowe, that her uncle Antonyhas been making proposals of marriage to her mother.
The old fellow's heart ought to be a tough one, if he succeed; or she whobroke that of a much worthier man, the late Mr. Howe, will soon get ridof him.
But be this as it may, the stupid family is made more irreconcilable thanever to their goddess-daughter for old Antony's thoughts of marrying: soI am more secure of her than ever. And yet I believe at last, that mytender heart will be moved in her favour. For I did not wish that sheshould have nothing but persecution and distress.--But why loves she thebrutes, as Miss Howe justly calls them, so much; me so little?
I have still more unpardonable transcripts from other letters.