LETTER XXX
MR. LOVELACE[IN CONTINUATION.]
I went up to my new-taken apartment, and fell to writing in character, asusual. I thought I had made good my quarters, but the cruel creature,understanding that I intended to take up my lodgings there, declared withso much violence against it, that I was obliged to submit, and to acceptof another lodging, about twelve doors off, which Mrs. Moore recommended.And all the advantage I could obtain was, that Will., unknown to myspouse, and for fear of a freak, should lie in the house.
Mrs. Moore, indeed, was unwilling to disoblige either of us. But MissRawlins was of opinion, that nothing more ought to be allowed me: and yetMrs. Moore owned, that the refusal was a strange piece of tyranny to ahusband, if I were a husband.
I had a good mind to make Miss Rawlins smart for it. Come and see MissRawlins, Jack.--If thou likest her, I'll get her for thee with awet-finger, as the saying is!
The widow Bevis indeed stickled hard for me. [An innocent, or injuredman, will have friends every where.] She said, that to bear much withsome wives, was to be obliged to bear more; and I reflected, with a sigh,that tame spirits must always be imposed upon. And then, in my heart, Irenewed my vows of revenge upon this haughty and perverse beauty.
The second fellow came back from town about nine o'clock, with MissHowe's letter of Wednesday last. 'Collins, it seems, when he left it,had desired, that it might be safely and speedily delivered into MissLaetitia Beaumont's own hands. But Wilson, understanding that neithershe nor I were in town, [he could not know of our difference thou mustthink,] resolved to take care of it till our return, in order to give itinto one of our own hands; and now delivered it to her messenger.'
This was told her. Wilson, I doubt not, is in her favour upon it.
She took the letter with great eagerness; opened it in a hurry, [am gladshe did; yet, I believe, all was right,] before Mrs. Moore and Mrs.Bevis, [Miss Rawlins was gone home;] and said, she would not for theworld that I should have had that letter, for the sake of her dear friendthe writer, who had written to her very uneasily about it.
Her dear friend! repeated Mrs. Bevis, when she told me this:--suchmischief-makers are always deemed dear friends till they are found out!
The widow says that I am the finest gentleman she ever beheld.
I have found a warm kiss now-and-then very kindly taken.
I might be a very wicked fellow, Jack, if I were to do all the mischiefin my power. But I am evermore for quitting a too-easy prey to reptilerakes! What but difficulty, (though the lady is an angel,) engages me toso much perseverance here?--And here, conquer or die! is now thedetermination!
***
I have just now parted with this honest widow. She called upon me at mynew lodgings. I told her, that I saw I must be further obliged to her inthe course of this difficult affair. She must allow me to make her ahandsome present when all was happily over. But I desired that she wouldtake no notice of what should pass between us, not even to her aunt; forthat she, as I saw, was in the power of Miss Rawlins: and Miss Rawlins,being a maiden gentlewoman, knew not the right and the fit in matrimonialmatters, as she, my dear widow, did.
Very true: How should she? said Mrs. Bevis, proud of knowing--nothing!But, for her part, she desired no present. It was enough if she couldcontribute to reconcile man and wife, and disappoint mischief-makers.She doubted not, that such an envious creature as Miss Howe was glad thatMrs. Lovelace had eloped--jealousy and love was Old Nick!
See, Belford, how charmingly things work between me and my newacquaintance, the widow!--Who knows, but that she may, after a littlefarther intimacy, (though I am banished the house on nights,) contrive amidnight visit for me to my spouse, when all is still and fast asleep?
Where can a woman be safe, who has once entered the lists with acontriving and intrepid lover?
But as to this letter, methinkest thou sayest, of Miss Howe?
I knew thou wouldest be uneasy for me. But did not I tell thee that Ihad provided for every thing? That I always took care to keep sealsentire, and to preserve covers?* Was it not easy then, thinkest thou, tocontrive a shorter letter out of a longer; and to copy the very words?
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
I can tell thee, it was so well ordered, that, not being suspected tohave been in my hands, it was not easy to find me out. Had it been mybeloved's hand, there would have been no imitating it for such a length.Her delicate and even mind is seen in the very cut of her letters. MissHowe's hand is no bad one, but it is not so equal and regular. Thatlittle devil's natural impatience hurrying on her fingers, gave, Isuppose, from the beginning, her handwriting, as well as the rest of her,its fits and starts, and those peculiarities, which, like strong muscularlines in a face, neither the pen, nor the pencil, can miss.
Hast thou a mind tot see what it was I permitted Miss Howe to write toher lovely friend? Why then, read it here, so extracted from her's ofWednesday last, with a few additions of my own. The additionsunderscored.*
* Editor's note: In place of italics, as in the original, I havesubstituted hooks [ ].
MY DEAREST FRIEND,
You will perhaps think that I have been too long silent. But I had beguntwo letters at different times since my last, and written a great dealeach time; and with spirit enough I assure you; incensed as I was againstthe abominable wretch you are with; particularly on reading your's of the21st of the past month.
The FIRST I intended to keep open till I could give you some account ofmy proceedings with Mrs. Townsend. It was some days before I saw her:and this intervenient space giving me time to reperuse what I hadwritten, I thought it proper to lay that aside, and to write in a style alittle less fervent; for you would have blamed me, I knew, for thefreedom of some of my expressions, (execrations, if you please.) Andwhen I had gone a good way in the SECOND, and change your prospects, onhis communicating to you Miss Montague's letter, and his betterbehaviour, occasioning a change in your mind, I laid that aside also.And in this uncertainty thought I would wait to see the issue of affairsbetween you before I wrote again; believing that all would soon bedecided one way or other.
***
[Here I was forced to break off. I am too little my own mistress:--Mymother* is always up and down--and watching as if I were writing to afellow. What need I (she asks me,) lock myself in,** if I am onlyreading past correspondencies? For that is my pretence, when she comespoking in with her face sharpened to an edge, as I may say, by acuriosity that gives her more pain than pleasure.--The Lord forgive me;but I believe I shall huff her next time she comes in.]
* See Letter XX. of this volume.** Ibid.
***
Do you forgive me too, my dear--my mother ought; because she says I am myfather's girl; and because I am sure I am her's.
[Upon my life, my dear, I am sometimes of opinion, that this vile man wascapable of meaning you dishonour. When I look back upon his past conduct,I cannot help, and verily believe, that he has laid aside such thoughts.My reasons for both opinions I will give you.]
[For the first: to-wit, that he had it once in his head to take you atadvantage if he could, I consider* that] pride, revenge, and a delight totread in unbeaten paths, are principal ingredients in the character ofthis finished libertine. He hates all your family, yourself excepted--yet is a savage in love. His pride, and the credit which a few plausiblequalities, sprinkled among his odious ones, have given him, have securedhim too good a reception from our eye-judging, our undistinguishing, ourself--flattering, our too-confiding sex, to make assiduity andobsequiousness, and a conquest of his unruly passions, any part of hisstudy.
He has some reason for his animosity to all the men, and to one woman ofyour family. He has always shown you, and his own family too, that heprefers his pride to his interest. He is a declared marriage-hater; anotorious intriguer; full of his inventions, and glorying in them.--Ashis vanity had made him imagine that no woman could be proof against hislove, no wonder that he struggled like
a lion held in toils,* against apassion that he thought not returned.** Hence, perhaps, it is notdifficult to believe, that it became possible for such a wretch as thisto give way to his old prejudices against marriage; and to that revengewhich had always been a first passion with him.***
* See Letter XX. of this volume.** Ibid.*** Ibid.
[And hence we may account for] his delays--his teasing ways--his bringingyou to bear with his lodging in the same house--his making you pass tothe other people of it as his wife--his bringing you into the company ofhis libertine companions--the attempt of imposing upon you that MissPartington for a bedfellow, &c.
[My reasons for a contrary opinion, to wit, that he is now resolved to doyou all the justice in his power to do you,] are these:--That he seesthat all his own family* have warmly engaged themselves in your cause:that the horrid wretch loves you; with such a love, however, as Herodloved his Mariamne: that, on inquiry, I find it to be true, thatCounsellor Williams, (whom Mr. Hickman knows to be a man of eminence inhis profession,) has actually as good as finished the settlements: thattwo draughts of them have been made; one avowedly to be sent to this veryCaptain Tomlinson:--and I find, that a license has actually been morethan once endeavoured to be obtained, and that difficulties have hithertobeen made, equally to Lovelace's vexation and disappointment. Mymother's proctor, who is very intimate with the proctor applied to by thewretch, has come at this information in confidence; and hints, that, asMr. Lovelace is a man of high fortunes, these difficulties will probablybe got over.
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
[I had once resolved to make strict inquiry about Tomlinson; and still,if you will, your uncle's favourite housekeeper may be sounded at adistance.]
[I know that the matter is so laid,*] that Mrs. Hodges is supposed toknow nothing of the treaty set on foot by means of Captain Tomlinson.But your uncle is an--
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
But your uncle is an old man;* and old men imagine themselves to be underobligation to their paramours, if younger than themselves, and seldomkeep any thing from their knowledge.--Yet, methinks, there can be noneed; since Tomlinson, as you describe him, is so good a man, and so muchof a gentleman; the end to be answered by his being an impostor so muchmore than necessary, if Lovelace has villany in his head.--And thus whathe communicated to you of Mr. Hickman's application to your uncle, and ofMrs. Norton's to your mother (some of which particulars I am satisfiedhis vile agent Joseph Leman could not reveal to his viler employer); hispushing on the marriage-day in the name of your uncle; which it could notanswer any wicked purpose for him to do; and what he writes of youruncle's proposal, to have it thought that you were married from the timethat you had lived in one house together; and that to be made to agreewith the time of Mr. Hickman's visit to your uncle; the insisting on atrusty person's being present at the ceremony, at that uncle's nomination--these things make me [assured that he now at last means honourably.]
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
[But if any unexpected delays should happen on his side, acquaint me, mydear, with the very street where Mrs. Sinclair lives; and where Mrs.Fretchville's house is situated (which I cannot find that you have evermentioned in your former letters--which is a little odd); and I will makestrict inquiries of them, and of Tomlinson too; and I will (if your heartwill let you take my advice) soon procure you a refuge from him with Mrs.Townsend.]
[But why do I now, when you seem to be in so good a train, puzzle andperplex you with my retrospections? And yet they may be of use to you,if any delay happen on his part.]
[But that I think cannot well be. What you have therefore now to do, isso to behave to this proud-spirited wretch, as may banish from his mindall remembrance of] past disobligations,* and to receive his addresses,as those of a betrothed lover. You will incur the censure of prudery andaffectation, if you keep him at that distance which you have hitherto[kept him at.] His sudden (and as suddenly recovered) illness has givenhim an opportunity to find out that you love him (Alas! my dear, I knewyou loved him!) He has seemed to change his nature, and is all love andgentleness. [And no more quarrels now, I beseech you.]
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
[I am very angry with him, nevertheless, for the freedoms which he tookwith your person;* and I think some guard is necessary, as he iscertainly an encroacher. But indeed all men are so; and you are such acharming creature, and have kept him at such a distance!--But no more ofthis subject. Only, my dear, be not over-nice, now you are so near thestate. You see what difficulties you laid yourself under,] whenTomlinson's letter called you again into [the wretch's] company.
* See Letter XI. of this volume.
If you meet with no impediments, no new causes of doubt,* your reputationin the eye of the world is concerned, that you should be his, [and, asyour uncle rightly judges, be thought to have been his before now.] Andyet, [let me tell you,] I [can hardly] bear [to think,] that theselibertines should be rewarded for their villany with the best of the sex,when the worst of it are too good for them.
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
I shall send this long letter by Collins,* who changes his day to obligeme. As none of our letters by Wilson's conveyance have miscarried, whenyou have been in more apparently-disagreeable situations than you are inat present, [I have no doubt] that this will go safe.
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
Miss Lardner* (whom you have seen hat her cousin Biddulph's) saw you atSt. James's church on Sunday was fortnight. She kept you in her eyeduring the whole time; but could not once obtain the notice of your's,though she courtesied to you twice. She thought to pay her complimentsto you when the service was over; for she doubted not but you weremarried--and for an odd reason--because you came to church by yourself.Every eye, (as usual, wherever you are,) she said was upon you; and thisseeming to give you hurry, and you being nearer the door than she, youslid out before she could get to you. But she ordered her servant tofollow you till you were housed. This servant saw you step into a chairwhich waited for you; and you ordered the men to carry you to the placewhere they took you up. She [describes the house] as a very genteelhouse, and fit to receive people of fashion: [and what makes me mentionthis, is, that perhaps you will have a visit from her; or message, atleast.]
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
[So that you have Mr. Doleman's testimony to the credit of the houseand people you are with; and he is] a man of fortune, and somereputation; formerly a rake indeed; but married to a woman of family;and having had a palsy blow, one would think a penitent.* You have [alsoMr. Mennell's at least passive testimony; Mr.] Tomlinson's; [and now,lastly, Miss Lardner's; so that there will be the less need for inquiry:but you know my busy and inquisitive temper, as well as my affection foryou, and my concern for your honour. But all doubt will soon be lost incertainty.]
[Nevertheless I must add, that I would have you] command me up, if I canbe of the least service or pleasure to you.* I value not fame; I valuenot censure; nor even life itself, I verily think, as I do your honour,and your friendship--For is not your honour my honour? And is not yourfriendship the pride of my life?
* See Letter XX. of this volume.
May Heaven preserve you, my dearest creature, in honour and safety, isthe prayer, the hourly prayer, of
Your ever-faithful and affectionate,ANNA HOWE.
THURSDAY MORN. 5.
I have written all night. [Excuse indifferent writing; my crow-quillsare worn to the stumps, and I must get a new supply.]
***
These ladies always write with crow-quills, Jack.
If thou art capable of taking in all my providences, in this letter, thouwilt admire my sagacity and contrivance almost as much as I do myself.Thou seest, that Miss Lardner, Mrs. Sinclair, Tomlinson, Mrs.Fretchville, Mennell, are all mentioned in it. My first liberties withher person also. [Modesty, modesty, Belford, I doubt, is more confinedto time, place, and occasion, even by the most delicate mind
s, than theseminds would have it believed to be.] And why all these taken notice ofby me from the genuine letter, but for fear some future letter from thevixen should escape my hands, in which she might refer to these names?And, if none of them were to have been found in this that is to pass forher's, I might be routed horse and foot, as Lord M. would phrase it in alike case.
Devilish hard (and yet I may thank myself) to be put to all this plagueand trouble:--And for what dost thou ask?--O Jack, for a triumph of morevalue to me beforehand than an imperial crown!--Don't ask me the value ofit a month hence. But what indeed is an imperial crown itself when a manis used to it?
Miss Howe might well be anxious about the letter she wrote. Her sweetfriend, from what I have let pass of her's, has reason to rejoice in thethought that it fell not into my hands.
And now must all my contrivances be set at work, to intercept theexpected letter from Miss Howe: which is, as I suppose, to direct her toa place of safety, and out of my knowledge. Mrs. Townsend is, no doubt,in this case, to smuggle her off: I hope the villain, as I am sofrequently called between these two girls, will be able to manage thispoint.
But what, perhaps, thou askest, if the lady should take it into her head,by the connivance of Miss Rawlins, to quit this house privately in thenight?
I have thought of this, Jack. Does not Will. lie in the house? And isnot the widow Bevis my fast friend?