LETTER XXXVI
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.MONDAY NOON, AUG. 28.
About the time of poor Belton's interment last night, as near as we couldguess, Lord M., Mowbray, and myself, toasted once, To the memory ofhonest Tom. Belton; and, by a quick transition to the living, Health toMiss Harlowe; which Lord M. obligingly began, and, To the happyreconciliation; and then we stuck in a remembrance To honest JackBelford, who, of late, we all agreed, is become an useful and humane man;and one who prefers his friend's service to his own.
But what is the meaning I hear nothing from thee?* And why dost thou notlet me into the grounds of the sudden reconciliation between my belovedand her friends, and the cause of the generous invitation which she givesme of attending her at her father's some time hence?
* Mr. Belford has not yet sent him his last-written letter. His reasonfor which see Letter XXIII. of this volume.
Thou must certainly have been let into the secret by this time; and I cantell thee, I shall be plaguy jealous if there is to be any one thing passbetween my angel and thee that is to be concealed from me. For either Iam a principal in this cause, or I am nothing.
I have dispatched Will. to know the reason of thy neglect.
But let me whisper a word or two in thy ear. I begin to be afraid, afterall, that this letter was a stratagem to get me out of town, and fornothing else: for, in the first place, Tourville, in a letter I receivedthis morning, tells me, that the lady is actually very ill! [I am sorryfor it with all my soul!]. This, thou'lt say, I may think a reason whyshe cannot set out as yet: but then I have heard, on the other hand, butlast night, that the family is as implacable as ever; and my Lord and Iexpect this very afternoon a visit from Colonel Morden; who, undertakes,it seems, to question me as to my intention with regard to his cousin.
This convinces me, that if she has apprized her friends of my offers toher, they will not believe me to be in earnest, till they are assuredthat I am so from my own mouth. But then I understand, that the intendedvisit is an officiousness of Morden's own, without the desire of any ofher friends.
Now, Jack, what can a man make of all this? My intelligence as to thecontinuance of her family's implacableness is not to be doubted; and yetwhen I read her letter, what can one say?--Surely, the dear little roguewill not lie!
I never knew her dispense with her word, but once; and that was, when shepromised to forgive me after the dreadful fire that had like to havehappened at our mother's, and yet would not see me the next day, andafterwards made her escape to Hampstead, in order to avoid forgiving me:and as she severely smarted for this departure from her honour given,(for it is a sad thing for good people to break their word when it is intheir power to keep it,) one would not expect that she should set aboutdeceiving again; more especially by the premeditation of writing. Thou,perhaps, wilt ask, what honest man is obliged to keep his promise with ahighwayman? for well I know thy unmannerly way of making comparisons; butI say, every honest man is--and I will give thee an illustration.
Here is a marauding varlet, who demands your money, with a pistol at yourbreast. You have neither money nor valuable effects about you; andpromise solemnly, if he will spare your life, that you will send him anagreed-upon sum, by such a day, to such a place.
The question is, if your life is not in the fellow's power?
How he came by the power is another question; for which he must answerwith his life when caught--so he runs risque for risque.
Now if he give you your life, does he not give, think you, a valuableconsideration for the money you engage your honour to send him? If not,the sum must be exorbitant, or your life is a very paltry one, even inyour own opinion.
I need not make the application; and I am sure that even thou thyself,who never sparest me, and thinkest thou knowest my heart by thy own,canst not possibly put the case in a stronger light against me.
Then, why do good people take upon themselves to censure, as they do,persons less scrupulous than themselves? Is it not because the latterallow themselves in any liberty, in order to carry a point? And can mynot doing my duty, warrant another for not doing his?--Thou wilt not sayit can.
And how would it sound, to put the case as strongly once more, as mygreatest enemy would put it, both as to fact and in words--here has thatprofligate wretch Lovelace broken his vow with and deceived Miss ClarissaHarlowe.--A vile fellow! would an enemy say: but it is like him. Butwhen it comes to be said that the pious Clarissa has broken her word withand deceived Lovelace; Good Lord! would every one say; sure it cannot be!
Upon my soul, Jack, such is the veneration I have for this admirablewoman, that I am shocked barely at putting the case--and so wilt thou, ifthou respectest her as thou oughtest: for thou knowest that men andwomen, all the world over, form their opinions of one another by eachperson's professions and known practices. In this lady, therefore, itwould be unpardonable to tell a wilful untruth, as it would be strange ifI kept my word.--In love cases, I mean; for, as to the rest, I am anhonest, moral man, as all who know me can testify.
And what, after all, would this lady deserve, if she has deceived me inthis case? For did she not set me prancing away, upon Lord M.'s bestnag, to Lady Sarah's, and to Lady Betty's, with an erect and triumphingcountenance, to show them her letter to me?
And let me tell thee, that I have received their congratulations upon it:Well, and now, cousin Lovelace, cries one: Well, and now, cousinLovelace, cries t'other; I hope you will make the best of husbands to soexcellent and so forgiving a lady!--And now we shall soon have thepleasure of looking upon you as a reformed man, added one! And now weshall see you in the way we have so long wished you to be in, cried theother!
My cousins Montague also have been ever since rejoicing in the newrelationship. Their charming cousin, and their lovely cousin, at everyword! And how dearly they will love he! What lessons they will takefrom her! And yet Charlotte, who pretends to have the eye of an eagle,was for finding out some mystery in the style and manner, till I overboreher, and laughed her out of it.
As for Lord M. he has been in hourly expectation of being sent to withproposals of one sort or other from the Harlowes; and still we have it,that such proposals will be made by Colonel Morden when he comes; andthat the Harlowes only put on a fae of irreconcileableness, till theyknow the issue of Morden's visit, in order to make the better terms withus.
Indeed, if I had not undoubted reason, as I said, to believe thecontinuance of their antipathy to me, and implacableness to her, I shouldbe apt to think there might be some foundation for my Lord's conjecture;for there is a cursed deal of low cunning in all that family, except inthe angel of it; who has so much generosity of soul, that she despisescunning, both name and thing.
What I mean by all this is, to let thee see what a stupid figure I shallmake to all my own family, if my Clarissa has been capable, as Gulliverin his abominable Yahoo story phrases it, if it were only that I shouldbe outwitted by such a novice at plotting, and that it would make me looksilly to my kinswomen here, who know I value myself upon my contrivances,it would vex me to the heart; and I would instantly clap a featherbedinto a coach and six, and fetch her away, sick or well, and marry her atmy leisure.
But Col. Morden is come, and I must break off.