LETTER LX.
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.MUNICH, NOV. 11--22.
I received your's this moment, just as I was setting out for Vienna.
As to going to Madrid, or one single step out of the way to avoid ColonelMorden, let me perish if I do!--You cannot think me so mean a wretch.
And so you own that he has threatened me; but not in gross andungentlemanly terms, you say. If he has threatened me like a gentleman,I will resent his threats like a gentleman. But he has not done as a manof honour, if he has threatened at all behind my back. I would scorn tothreaten any man to whom I knew how to address myself either personallyor by pen and ink.
As to what you mention of my guilt; of the hand-writing on the wall; of alegal prosecution, if he meet his fate from my hand; of his skill,coolness, courage, and such-like poltroon stuff; what can you mean by it?Surely you cannot believe that such insinuations as those will weakeneither my hands or my heart.--No more of this sort of nonsense, I beseechyou, in any of your future letters.
He had not taken any resolutions, you say, when you saw him. He must andwill take resolutions, one way or other, very quickly; for I wrote to himyesterday, without waiting for this or your answer to my last. I couldnot avoid it. I could not (as I told you in that) live in suspense. Ihave directed my letter to Florence. Nor could I suffer my friends tolive in suspense as to my safety. But I have couched it in such moderateterms, that he has fairly his option. He will be the challenger, if hetake it in the sense in which he may so handsomely avoid taking it. Andif he does, it will demonstrate that malice and revenge were thepredominant passions with him; and that he was determined but to settlehis affairs, and then take his resolutions, as you phrase it.--Yet, if weare to meet [for I know what my option would be, in his case, on such aletter, complaisant as it is] I wish he had a worse, I a better cause.It would be a sweet revenge to him, were I to fall by his hand. But whatshould I be the better for killing him?
I will enclose a copy of the letter I sent him.
***
On re-perusing your's in a cooler moment, I cannot but thank you for yourfriendly love, and good intentions. My value for you, from the firsthour of our acquaintance till now, I have never found misplaced;regarding at least your intention: thou must, however, own a good deal ofblunder of the over-do and under-do kind, with respect to the part thouactest between me and the beloved of my heart. But thou art really anhonest fellow, and a sincere and warm friend. I could almost wish I hadnot written to Florence till I had received thy letter now before me.But it is gone. Let it go. If he wish peace, and to avoid violence, hewill have a fair opportunity to embrace the one, and shun the other.--Ifnot--he must take his fate.
But be this as it may, you may contrive to let young Harlowe know [he isa menacer, too!] that I shall be in England in March next, at farthest.
This of Bavaria is a gallant and polite court. Nevertheless, beinguncertain whether my letter may meet with the Colonel at Florence, Ishall quit it, and set out, as I intended, for Vienna; taking care tohave any letter or message from him conveyed to me there: which will soonbring me back hither, or to any other place to which I shall be invited.
As I write to Charlotte I have nothing more to add, after compliments toall friends, than that I am
Wholly your's,LOVELACE.
***
MR. LOVELACE, TO WILLIAM MORDEN, ESQ.[ENCLOSED IN THE ABOVE.]MUNICH, NOV. 10--21.
SIR,
I have heard, with a great deal of surprise, that you have thought fit tothrow out some menacing expressions against me.
I should have been very glad that you had thought I had punishment enoughin my own mind for the wrongs I have done to the most excellent of women;and that it had been possible for two persons, so ardently joining in onelove, (especially as I was desirous to the utmost of my power, to repairthose wrongs,) to have lived, if not on amicable terms, in such a way asnot to put either to the pain of hearing of threatenings thrown out inabsence, which either ought to be despised for, if he had not spirit totake notice of them.
Now, Sir, if what I have heard be owing only to warmth of temper, or tosudden passion, while the loss of all other losses the most deplorable tome was recent, I not only excuse, but commend you for it. But if you arereally determined to meet me on any other account, [which, I own to you,is not however what I wish,] it would be very blamable, and very unworthyof the character I desire to maintain, as well with you as with everyother gentleman, to give you a difficulty in doing it.
Being uncertain when this letter may meet you, I shall set out to-morrowfor Vienna; where any letter directed to the post-house in the city, orto Baron Windisgrat's (at the Favorita) to whom I have commendations,will come to hand.
Mean time, believing you to be a man too generous to make a wrongconstruction of what I am going to declare, and knowing the value whichthe dearest of all creatures had for you, and your relation to her, Iwill not scruple to assure you, that the most acceptable return will be,that Colonel Morden chooses to be upon an amicable, rather than upon anyother footing, with
His sincere admirer, and humble servant,R. LOVELACE.