Read Confessions of a Grasshopper Page 12

IRVING

  But first …

  MARY

  Don’t let it put them things on us. They change people.

  BILL

  You come one inch closer with those things and I’m gonna –

  IRVING (Soothing, melodic tone.)

  They won’t hurt you. … Just relax … just relax …

  BILL and MARY freeze. IRVING places the grasshopper masks on their heads. BILL immediately drops the knife and releases his grip on FLORABELLE.

  BILL

  I … I feel funny …

  MARY

  Me too … I told you …

  BILL and MARY begin shrinking – smaller and smaller. There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke – and suddenly two tiny little regular size grasshoppers appear where they were standing. The little grasshoppers jump off around a corner and out of sight.

  IRVING

  Well, now – that’s a most unusual reaction.

  AUNT LULU

  Evil always reduces people-creatures to the lowest denominator.

  IRVING

  I think you are right. You are a brilliant philosopher.

  CAMERA pans slowly around the corner of the building. CU on the two tiny grasshoppers.

  GRASSHOPPER #1 (Speaks with high pitched, squeaking voice, very faint – obviously that of MARY)

  And this was to be a great summer! Look I’m reduced to this. Now what?

  GRASSHOPPER #2 (Also a high pitched squeaking voice, very faint – that of BILL).

  Awwww … shaddup!