Chapter 6
Joseph drove to the hospital, following the ambulance. He then met up with the police who were at the hospital for the second time. Joe finished up a quick debriefing consisting of how he knew Kevin and how he knew that a few people were after him for the bills he owed them, that Kevin was an addict and so on. The police wanted conformation that Kevin owed a few people and that Kevin asked him for a few dollars to help him out a while ago. Joe neglected to tell the police that most likely it was Omar who put the two bullets in Kevin’s chest. Joseph neglected this on purpose.
Joe watched Kevin being rushed into surgery, then with a deep tired sigh, he went downstairs to see his mom. Joseph found his mother’s room and entered. He entered expecting to see Danny. He did find his mother sleeping, but Danny was not there. Joe sat there for a while. It was now getting late in the evening and he was so very tired. Where was Danny, Joe thought to himself. Why was he always looking after his family? Why couldn't he just let them all go and live his own life? He had already missed several classes. He could not miss too many more even with the kind of circumstances his family was in now. Joseph pushed his thoughts away. He would think about it all later, for now he needed to eat. Joe left the room, left the hospital and found a dinner that happened to be open all day and all night. He sat down and the waitress walked over. She gave him a menu, with a pen and pad in the other. “Hello there, would you first like something to drink?”
Joseph looked up at her, picked up the menu, and then looked outside to his car, the night sky and the rain. Joe unfolded the menu, “Um, coffee.”
She nodded, smiling, “You got it,” then left to get the pot of coffee and a cup. Again he remembered how tired he was and hungry. Joe thought about the rain, his mind drifting back to when he was a kid. It was only recently that he had managed to get a car. Joe remembered how when he was young his mom and he used to walk to get groceries, how they were caught in the rain once or twice. He remembered how people used to pass them by on the road. They used to drive by dry and warm never really stopping to ask if they needed a ride. Maybe everyone was just in their own little world and wanted it to stay that way. The world, Joe had found out was a scary place sometimes and it seemed the majority of people he met just wanted to keep themselves behind self-constructed walls. The waitress returned pouring him a cup of coffee while asking him, “Would you like to order now?”
Joseph nodded, briefly looking over the menu. “I will have that steak and eggs thing.”
The waitress finished pouring his cup of coffee, left creamer for him, took the menu smiling, “Okay, steak and eggs it is,” and left him again to think.
Joe opened a few of the creamers, pouring them into his coffee. He took a spoon and blankly stirred the cup of coffee. Maybe he needed to just grow up himself, Joe thought to himself. Who did not have issues with their families? Somehow, it seemed that he was missing something. Maybe that something was just the acceptance that life had unknowns in it and he just could not answer everything. Would he even want to answer all of them? Did he have to put it in words? Must a person always try to find a hole for every peg? Joe took a sip of coffee. It was strong, but still quite good. Joseph thought he needed to be satisfied more with the simple things that life gave him every day, a cup of coffee, some eggs, steak, and a cooling fall rain on his car. He closed his eyes for a moment and then the steak and eggs came. The waitress placed the meal in front of him smiling again, “Here is your steak and eggs,” then handing him a bottle of ketchup, “Anything else?”
Joe smiled at the dinner. He looked sleepily at her. “No, thanks. I am good for now.”
The waitress pleased, “Okay, let me know.” then turning, “You nodded off there for a moment, you okay?”
Joe cut into the steak. “Yes, long night, my mother and my friend are both in the hospital.”
The waitress hearing this, about to leave his table for another came back for a moment, “Oh, I hope they are okay?”
Joseph nodded. “Yes, everything is fine.”
Perhaps it was a lie, perhaps not. Kevin may not have made it through the surgery and with that sobering fact; Joe could not help but think of how fortunate he was to be alive, to simply enjoy the taste of a steak. He told Kevin to stop using. He told him many times. There was just nothing more he could do until he went back to the hospital. Joe thought uncomfortably about life, death and the frailness of being human. He thought about how they used to say grace when he was a young kid. Joe could not remember why they had stopped or when they had stopped eating together, for that matter. He felt uneasy, but thankful for the food he had and to be alive. Joseph closed his eyes half-asleep and for the first time in a very long time, he said grace. He thanked God for the food in front of him, which he could afford to buy and enjoy it, because he was alive.
The surgeon came out to meet with Joe, who was in the waiting room. He gave a sad look at him. “I am sorry, but your friend did not make it.”
Joseph looked up at him, a crushing weight of sorrow entering his chest. “But, why?”
The surgeon showed him literally by pointing to himself, “The bullets pierced the superior vena cava and the sub-clavian artery, here,” he said pointing to his shoulder. “Although we were able to stop the bleeding, he had lost so much blood that he went into severe shock.”
Joe looked at the television in the upper corner of the waiting room and then blankly at the surgeon. “Oh.”
The surgeon took a deep breath. “Do you know his parents?”
Joseph looked down at the tile floor, “Yeah, um, I know his mother.”
The surgeon nodded. “Will you be here a while?”
Joe nodded, looking up blankly again. “My mom is downstairs, room 214…Yes.”
The surgeon gave a weak smile to Joseph. “Okay, good. A case manager will meet with you downstairs.”
Joe sat in front of his mother’s bed. It was morning and he was there to see her open her eyes, smile, sit up and eat a bit. They had her back on her medications. It was nice to see her more vibrant and in good spirits. Joe tried to hide the grief he was going through with Kevin and the fact that he now knew the cancer his mother had returned, this time spreading. The cancer had metastasized. For now Joseph was grateful he was there with her and that she was fully aware, happy. She ate her eggs. "Joe, it is so good to have you here with me."
Joseph smiled, sitting next to her. “Yepper, Mama.”
“How has school been?”
Joe popped the lid off his mother’s warm cereal. “Okay, very good.”
Mama Cruse picked up her decaffeinated coffee, sipping it and frowning. “Mama is so very proud of you.”
Joseph caught the frown. “What's wrong, Mama?”
She put the cup down. “It’s fake coffee.”
Joe laughed, smoothing his mother’s hair down. “How do you know?”
She smiled wisely. “I can tell, no zing.”
Joe pointed to the warm cereal. “You should eat your oatmeal.”
Mama Cruse gave another frown, “I would rather have a real cup of coffee and something sweet,” then sitting up further in her bed leaning over to her son, “Do Mama a favor, get her a real cup of coffee and a donut."
Joseph smiled again. “Ah, I wish I could but none till you get home.”
Mama Cruse disheartened a bit fell back a bit on her pillows. “Where is your brother?”
Joseph took the oatmeal and began eating it himself. He began thinking about Kevin and his mother, then heartache overwhelming him again. Joe turned to think about his brother. What the hell was going on, he thought, “I don't know mom. I just don't know.”
Joseph drove over to their trailer, quickly looked inside to see if Danny was there and then left again. Joe needed to find his brother, but where should he even start to look for him.
Donna was driving fast down the road. Her Thunderbird flying down the highway. Danny was beside her, looking o
ut the passenger window, which was slightly open to let fresh air inside the car. Donna fumbled for a pack of cigarettes, then shaking a bit she placed one in her mouth and lit it. She took a puff, glancing at Danny, who still looking out his window. “Danny, you know I we got to go to my friend Jake?”
Danny turned to her and nodded, “Yepper, sure. You said you got like what my mom got and-”
Donna took a deep inhale of the cigarette interrupting him. “…Jake has the money for the operation. He has it and you just stand by me there, when we get there.”
Danny a bit concerned, “Yes, Donna,” then thinking about his mother, “Are you going to be okay? Mama is not too good.”
Donna gave a quick, but hesitant smile at Danny. “Yes.”
Danny smiled back giving her a big grin, “Okay,” then, “I need to see my momma soon, Donna.”
Donna nodded. “I will drop you off at the hospital this afternoon.”
Danny thought for a moment, maybe he should have let Joe to buy him that cell phone he wanted him to have. Then Danny had an idea, “Donna, what about your cell phone?”
Donna in deep thought, “Huh?” throwing her half-finished cigarette through the open driver-side window, “Oh…you can call him when we're done, not right now though honey.”
Danny nodded in part agreement and in part question. “Okay?”
Jake had just come home from a business meeting. He took his suit jacket off, took his tie off and headed for the mini bar. He found the refrigerator and made himself a drink, scotch and water. He put some ice in it and sat on the couch, flicking on his wide-screen television. It was good to be king, Jake thought to himself. He opened the small door of his coffee table. He shuffled the contents of the draw for a moment, found a little box, opened that and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He took it out and closed the draw. Jake began to unfold the paper, but just then was interrupted by the sound of someone pulling into his driveway. By the sound of the engine, it was Donna. He tossed the paper onto the table, took a sip of his drink and answered the door.
There was Donna and a rather expansive man next to her. Donna smiled weakly. “Hello, Jake.”
“Donna,” Jake said as he opened up the door for them, “who is your friend?”
Danny smiled as they both walked in, “Name, is Danny,” holding out his hand, “Danny.”
She smiled nervously at Danny and then at Jake. “A good friend. He is here to help me out and keep an eye on me.”
Jake thought it a bit odd, but not thinking much of the statement. “Come in, sit down both of you.”
Danny agreeably, “Sure thing, Sir,” with all three of them sitting around the coffee table. Danny sat next to Jake while Donna sat in a chair next to Danny. Jake sat and then stood back up pointing. “Anyone want a drink?”
Danny was about to say yes, but Donna interrupted him. “No, we need to talk and then go.”
“Oh, okay,” Jake said frowning and then sitting back down. He picked up his drink and sipped it gingerly. “What do you need Donna? Anything we have gone over before?”
Danny begin to look around the room, the expensive lamps and tables. He looked at the coffee table and at the little white paper packet. Jake finding Danny eying the piece of paper scooped it up with his hand and tossed it back into the tables’ small drawer. Donna nodded, brushing her long hair back, crossing her legs. “I need you to help me help Omar.”
Jake gave a hearty laugh. “Omar! Why do you bring him up…as if I should even know him?”
Danny turned to look at Jake laughing. He said nothing, but Donna did. “He needs cash and put it bluntly; if he goes your mess goes with it.”
Jake laughed a bit again, sipping his drink. “Yeah, what mess?”
“I will see to it you lose it all. You will lose your access, your reputation and me as well.”
Jake put the drink down and stood. “Well, you I can afford to lose.”
Danny watching them intently. “Lose what? Donna is not feeling well.”
“Never mind, Danny,” Donna said tepidly to him, then angrily to Jake, as Jake raised questioning eyebrows to Donna with what Danny had just said, “Let me be clear, I need ten grand and I need it by next week.”
Jake disgusted and coughing, “You know you're a piece of work and you always were just a whore. I should have left you wallowing with that old pimp of yours.”
Donna pulled Danny up by the hand. “I got Danny here. He keeps a close eye on me and he does favors for me if I ask him to, right Danny?”
Danny nodded, “Sure I do Donna,” and then looking right at him, “I would do anything for Donna, Mr. Jake.”
Jake eyed the large man, “You will get it by next week,” sipping his drink, “now leave and close the door behind you.”
Donna took Danny by the hand and just before they left, she turned to Jake and matter-of-fact spoke. “I am a prostitute and you're a John. Always remember that Jake. I did what I needed to do; you did what you wanted too.”
Jake closed the door behind Donna and Danny then sat back down on his couch. He took a deep drink of his scotch, found that small paper in the coffee table drawer opened it and inhaled the contents. Jake leaned back, closed his eyes for a minute or two then sat up and found the phone next to him on the couch. Jake picked it up and dialed a rarely used number. He waited for a moment and a terse discussion began. Jake finished his drink and added. “Hey you know Charles, driving is a bitch these days and everyone has accidents.”
Joseph made his way over to Groos Tavern. He had a strong hunch Mike might know where his brother was. Joe thought to himself as he drove in the now cooling late-summer air. It would be officially fall soon. Joe needed to get back to school, but first he needed to get his mother home and get Danny to take a bit more responsibility for himself and their mother. He felt conflicted about having Danny, he supposed, burdened with his mother, although Joseph tried to convince himself that the term “burdened” was not such a bad one considering Mama was their Mama. Joe did love them both and after all, he did see her at her worst many times and yet still took good care of her and Danny. Nevertheless, Joseph brooding in thought, Danny needed just a bit more maturity.
He knew that Danny could help their mother and take care of the house if he tried. He had seen Danny’s work before, he had seen Danny learn to read and figure out the balance of a checkbook. Joe had seen Danny even drive okay, though he did not have a permit or license (Joe let him drive the back roads a bit when he could). Joe thought about how he should have bought Danny that cell phone he saw when it was on sale that time. Small oversights can get the better of any situation, but no one is perfect least of all him, Joseph thought. He pulled his Buick into the parking lot of Groos Tavern. There were a few cars, but one of them was not Donnas’. Joe closed the car door behind him and entered the Tavern, there he found Mike serving a few people.
Michael seemed to instantly spot Joseph and smiled. “Hey, Joe. How are you?”
Joseph sat down at the bar, Mike meeting him after serving a few people at the tables. “Hey, I did not expect you home, what's new?”
Joe frowned. “Everything, I need a beer too.”
Mike nodded, “You bet” giving a fatherly pat on Joe's back, then going behind the bar to pour his beer. As he was pouring Joe's beer, “How is your brother?”
Joseph shrugged, “That is what I would like to know. I am trying to track him down.”
Michael came over with his beer, placing it on a coaster and in a lower voice, leaning over to Joseph, “I thought he might be gone, that is why I asked. He may be out with his friend a lot.”
Joe looked up at the TV and for the first time in a while it was turned off. “Yeah, I thought of that. She seems to want something from him, but I don't know what.”
Mike rubbed his white beard thoughtfully, scratching it. “Well, Joe you know trying to read minds is hard work. People need and want various things, sometimes they don't even know
what they want. They try to find it, but it takes time and it takes a lot of soul-searching. Do you want to know more, Joe?”
Joseph seemed surprised at the question, taking a deep drink of his beer. It was nice and cold, refreshing to him. “Well sure Mike, of course.”
Mike leaned over again. “I may be wrong, but people want to know about themselves, want to grow and heal. So, they go and search for answer's outside of themselves. They really need to find what they want by searching within themselves, on the inside. You need to find yourself on the inside first. She may not know what she wants,” then pausing for a moment, “Joe, you need to find out what you want out of life and go for it. You’re too young and too smart to let all the outside stuff distract you…then you go around the mountain over and over again. Don't do it, you don't need to.” Mike and Joe talked a bit more. He finished his beer, which was on the house and when over to the trailer hoping to find Danny there.
Joseph did happen to find Danny there. He was sitting on the couch watching television with a box of donuts in his lap and a quart of milk by his side. He gave Joe a big smile, as he entered the trailer. “Joe Joe! I am glad to see you!”
Joe found a seat and wearily sat down, exhausted. “Yeah, I am glad to see you too.”
Danny took a donut and reached out to hand it to Joe. “Want a donut?”
Joseph figured why not. “Yeah.”
Danny gave it to him and as Joe ate it, “Donna has been real nice to me,” then questioning, “Where is Mama? Still at the hospital?”
Joe swallowed some of the donut, his mouth dry, being a bit exasperated by the whole situation. “Yes and why did you not stay there like I told you too?”
Danny shrunk back a bit. “Well, Joe Joe, I was there a long time and I got hungry, real hungry and Mama kept sleeping. She was okay the doctors told me and I was real hungry, then Donna found me. I don't know how, but then she wanted to get me something to eat.”
Joe had enough of that logic. “Okay Danny, okay.”
Danny still apologizing. “I was real hungry Joe. I mean really hungry.”
Joseph leaned back and then tilting his head back on the living room chair. “I know Danny, I know. I am your brother don't forget, filling that stomach of yours is near impossible.”
Upon hearing that Danny gave a hearty laugh. “You’re always funny, Joe.”
Joe sat up again. “Listen, I have to get back to school. Mama is coming home tomorrow and I need you to promise you will take care of her a bit while I am gone.”
Danny nodded. “Sure thing, Joe Joe.”
Joe needed a bit more convincing. “I need you to promise to me you will take a bit better care of her and call me if you have any problems at all, okay?”
Danny nodded again, drinking milk while he did so, “Sure, I promise Joe Joe…anything for you, Joe Joe,” wiping his mouth with his hand, “I love Mama.”
Joe gave a weak smile. “I know you do...make sure she takes her medicine too.”
“Sure, Joe Joe.”
“And try not to spend time with Donna,” Joseph added.
A group of men waited out on the corner near Omar’s apartment, a couple of them smoking. Omar and Susan were anxiously watching television. He thought about playing his video games, but could not concentrate. He was drinking heavily, sitting on the edge of his couch, while Susan was now at the end of her second pack of cigarettes, half off the love seat. Susan looked inside her pack, angrily. “Omar, we can't just hide out here forever!”
Omar emptied the beer in his hand. He was developing a collection next to him near the couch. “We don't know who is out there. Why don't we wait for a while longer, it's still not that late?”
Susan rubbed out one of her last cigarettes in the ashtray, which was on the end table next to her, “You know...,” sighing deeply, “...you know you got yourself into this. You need to get yourself out, not me.”
“You know I need you, baby.”
Susan sat back, pulling out her last cigarette from her last pack. She was so tired. Her mind flashed back to high school and one of her first boyfriends Deshawn, “You know Omar, I had it going on and you wrecked my life,” Deshawn was a good man. He went to college. He got his Master’s degree and now he was married with two kids”
Omar had a feeling. He knew now what was to be them, how did he lose his way? “But baby please.”
Susan could have been with Deshawn. She had wanted to go to college with him, but Omar came along, had some money, a place and a nice car. What for? From what she heard Deshawn's family lived on a couple acres in the Hampton's, “You know Omar, I took the wide road, the short cuts. It's my fault. I listened to all your bullshit. You talked good and all, but you had your part too.”
As she stood up, grabbing her purse, Omar pleaded. “But...baby please, I'll make it right. I will you'll see.”
Susan went to the door, “I don't want no more of anything you have to offer. I did try to convince you to make more of your life. You could have done it.”
Susan left Omar’s apartment. Down the steps she went and closed the second building door behind her, instinctively locking it as she went. It was dark out. Her car was parallel parked down the street. There was a small group of guys midway between her and where her car was parked. She took a deep breath; there wasn't anyone on the street, although lights could be seen from the various apartments downtown. Susan clutched her purse and took a shallow breath. Breathing rapidly, putting her head down Susan went on crossing their path. They eyed her as she moved through the group. One of them brushed up against her, but then they let her through. Not looking back Susan stepped to her car, quietly opened her driver-side door and then sunk deep into her seat. She could see the group in dark shadow’s before her.
She quickly inhaled another shallow breath and swallowed hard, starting the car, locking the door and driving off, passing them. Her car lights exposing them, from the shadow to light, it seemed they had blood in their eyes, watching her as she drive off. She locked her car doors, fumbled with her cell phone and pulled it out. Holding it in one hand Susan went to call Omar, but then she hesitated. She briefly looked at her phone and then at the road. Susan swallowed again and then for many reasons, many she did not even know about consciously, she tossed the phone to the passenger-side seat and cried heavy tears.
Omar finished another beer. He gave it a look and then placed it next to the other empties. There were about a dozen and a half now next to his couch. As Omar did so, he could hear hard knocking on the downstairs door. Startling him, he knocked the empty beers over, the sound of glass against glass crackling in the stale apartment air. Could it be Susan, he thought to himself. However, the knocking only came harder and heaver this time. Omar now full of fear went to stand up, but in his drunken stupor, he tripped over one of the legs of his coffee table, hitting the floor, his head hitting the glass of his entertainment center. The glass shattered, cutting his scalp and his face. Omar groaned, holding his face, blood dripping through his fingers as the group of men sent after him broke the front door down. He could hear them rushing up the stairs. Quickly, Omar pulled himself up and went to find his pistol. But there was no time as they rammed the upstairs door. He ran for the bedroom still holding the side of his face. The men broke through as Omar stumbled to his bedroom window. He opened the window and spilled out of his apartment on to the building's fire escape. One of the men reached him first, grabbing Omar from inside his apartment. “Come here you mother fucker!”
Omar kicked at his face, blooding his nose. The man yelped in pain releasing his grip on Omar. Omar stumbled down the fire escape, now with the rest of the men after him. Down the steps, Omar fled, tripping and falling. He tumbled down the remaining steps, missing the first floor ladder and falling. Hitting the ally sidewalk hard, Omar felt and heard his leg snap. It had cracked itself below the knee, the spiral fractured bone piercing through his skin, under his pants. The group of men climbed down the f
irst floor ladder and surrounded him. One of the bigger men picked Omar up, who was now limp in pain. “Come here you dead beat.”
Omar struggled, “No, please!” the man then hitting him with his fist back down to the ground. The group picked him up, dragging him into the corner of the alley, the darkest spot. It smelled of urine, feces and rotting food. There they beat him without mercy. When they were finished one of them pulled out a pistol and a 22-caliber bullet was lodged neatly into his brain. There in the darkest of alleys, on the darkest of nights, Omar was left to die in the piss and shit of his own making.