“That’s wonderful. I’ve felt bad that I threw the problem at you and then disappeared. It’s nice to hear that she’s doing well.”
“Don’t feel bad. Who knows what woulda happened if you hadn’t showed up at our door. I won’t be findin’ fault with you.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
She left there feeling that perhaps she was tying up loose ends in case she’d have to leave. She wasn’t planning on it, but it never hurt to be prepared.
CHAPTER twenty nine
The second week Gordon was gone was a little easier for Charlotte. She pictured herself physically turning him over to God, and that helped her a lot. He wasn’t hers to cling to. She also thought about how perfect God’s plan was for her, and if it didn’t include Gordon, then that was for the best. She trusted God as she never had before, and thanked Him for the peace He gave her.
Charlotte had learned a while back that when she tried to fight God, it made her miserable. When she yielded to him, she rose victorious no matter what the circumstances. It had taken her most of her life to learn that lesson, but it was deeply ingrained now. Feeling a newfound freedom, she forged ahead with her life. Writing, teaching, and visiting with others, she found fulfillment once again.
The day Gordon came back into town, she heard about it before she saw him. Mrs. Bartholomew came by as soon as Charlotte arrived home from teaching her class. “Someone came by for you today.”
“Oh, who’s that?” she asked, expecting it to be Misty or one of her junior high friends.
“The nice looking young pastor from your church.”
Charlotte stopped what she was doing and gave Mrs. B. her full attention. “Are you sure?”
“Yep. He knocked for a long time before he left. I thought for a while he was going to stay until you got home.”
“Did he leave a message?”
“Nope, just wandered off down the street.”
Charlotte realized that she was revealing more of her emotions than she wanted to. “He probably just needed to talk about youth group or something.”
“Stayed awfully long to talk about youth group.”
“Well, thanks for the information. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Mrs. Bartholomew nodded, smiling from ear to ear. She trotted back to her house, satisfied that she’d delivered one of the most important spy messages of her life.
Charlotte wondered what in the world Gordon could have wanted. She felt sure he’d left to get away from her, but perhaps he felt bad and wanted to talk about it. That was most likely it. Oh well, he’d contact her again when he wanted to. She couldn’t afford to guess. Still, she waited anxiously all evening for a call, and when it never came, she went to bed and slept restlessly. Whatever he wanted, she wished he’d just get it over with.
When she arrived home the next afternoon after a long, hard day, the phone rang.
“Charlotte?”
“Yes?”
“I’m so glad you’re home. I’ve been trying to reach you. I came by yesterday, but had a meeting last night so couldn’t try again until today. Are you free this evening?”
“I guess so.”
He noticed her hesitation. “Charlotte, we need to talk. May I come over?”
“I suppose.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
She hung up the phone and stared at the clock. She didn’t really want him to come. As long as they didn’t speak, there was hope. Once he told her his true thoughts, her dreams would be dashed forever. But she knew that was not realistic, so she prayed for strength and waited for his arrival.
He was only a few minutes late. When she opened the door, he stood there looking like the dignified, handsome man that he was. How could she have thought he’d be able to love her?
“Hi Charlotte. It’s good to see you.”
He said it so warmly it made her feel like crying. Why didn’t he just blurt it out and get it over with? “Come on in, Pastor.”
“Gordon.”
“What?”
“Don’t call me Pastor. Call me Gordon. I’m just a regular guy.”
“Oh. Okay, Gordon.”
“First of all, I want to apologize for taking off so soon after we talked.” Just as she thought. He wanted to apologize for his behavior.
“That’s all right.”
“I needed time to think about what you had to say.”
“Of course.”
“I went up to this cabin the Coltons own. Just me and God in the woods. It’s exactly what I needed. But after about two days there, I knew I needed to do something else. It was so clear I can’t believe I didn’t think of it right away. Sometimes God has to hit me over the head to get my attention.”
Charlotte nodded and smiled for the first time. She knew what that was like, but she couldn’t imagine what he was going to say.
“I contacted your mother. I hope you don’t mind. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if I wasn’t successful, so I asked her to keep it a secret.” Charlotte’s eyes got rounder. What could he possibly need to talk to her mother about? “Anyway, I spent the rest of my vacation doing research and I found her.”
Charlotte stared at him as if he had said he was walking to Iceland. What in the world was he talking about? Did he find his dream woman? Why was he telling her this? All she said was, “Found her?”
“Your daughter. I found your little girl.”
It’s a good thing Charlotte was sitting; otherwise she would have fallen over. Never in a million years did she expect him to say that. “You did?”
“Yes, I even talked to the family. They sounded really nice. I told them that you’d like to see your daughter again, if it was all right with them. They said that she’d been asking a lot of questions about you, and they thought that would be good.”
Charlotte’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I can’t believe you’d spend your vacation looking for my little girl.”
Gordon looked at her so tenderly that it physically hurt. “I’d do anything for you, Charlotte,” he said, which caused her tears to overflow.
“I know you would. You’re a good man. You’d do anything for anybody.”
Suddenly Gordon seemed more alert; Charlotte didn’t understand. “No I wouldn’t.”
“You wouldn’t?”
“No. I mean, I’d do a lot for others, but I’d do anything for you.” Gordon looked at Charlotte and thought she looked like a little lost lamb.
“But . . . what about my past?”
“What’s past is past. I have to admit that it did bother me a little. After all, I resisted temptation for years. I always thought the woman I’d end up with would have done the same, but I realized how arrogant that was of me.”
“Huh?” Charlotte was really confused now, but she got stuck on the words “the woman I’d end up with.” It made her brain all foggy.
“Christ has forgiven me all my sins, and I’ve been just as rebellious as you have in my own way. But he never rejected me. Even more, he welcomed me into his family. Besides, he’s put a love in my heart for you that I can’t deny. Who am I to question him?”
Charlotte sat glued to her chair. She wanted to get up and dance, shout, anything to release the tumultuous emotions that were flying through her. But all she managed was, “Did you say love?”
Gordon blushed and hung his head, making him even more endearing if that were possible. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any right to say such a thing. I don’t want to rush you, Charlotte. You’ve never shown any interest in me, but I’ve grown to love you so much that I don’t mind taking the risk. If you want me to walk out right now, I’ll be glad to.”
This did make her jump up. “Don’t you dare! I’d have to follow you weeping all the way to your house.” In response to his smile, she added more calmly, “I love you, too, Gordon. I have from the first moment. It was too good to be true. I couldn’t stand it if you had rejected me, so I avoided you like the plague.”
<
br /> Gordon stood up, too, and pulled her to him. “We’re going to have a lot of explaining to do to the congregation. We’ve been engaged one too many times.” He chuckled softly as she melted into his arms. She didn’t care how much they had to explain. No one would make her feel bad about this.
CHAPTER thirty
Charlotte called Janice the next day. “You aren’t going to believe this. I’ve got to come tell you something.”
“I’ll be here . . . me, Gina, and the books. See you then.”
Charlotte fairly flew to Janice’s house and bounced in just like Tigger.
“What in the world has gotten into you?”
“You won’t believe what Gordon did on his vacation.”
“Gordon? We’re on a first name basis now? What kind of vacation was this?” Janice looked at her suspiciously.
“He asked me to call him that,” she said with her nose slightly in the air.
“That sounds promising. Go on.” Janice was picking up Charlotte’s excitement.
“He found my baby!”
“What?”
“He did. I was on the phone with her parents this morning. I’m going to meet her this weekend. Gordon’s coming with me. Her name is Lisa, by the way.”
Janice hugged her and bounced with her. “That’s great, Charlotte. I’m so happy for you.”
“I know. This has been a dream for so long, but I didn’t know where to start. She wants to meet me!”
“Of course she does. Who wouldn’t?”
“Oh you. You’re awfully good for my ego.” Then she bounced some more as if her legs were full of Mexican jumping beans. “But that’s not all.”
“It’s not? You’re certainly full of surprises today.”
“He loves me.”
“Who?”
“Gordon, silly.”
Janice stared and blinked. She worried for a minute about Charlotte’s mental stability. “How can he love you? He was engaged to another woman two months ago.”
“I know. It’s a long story. We’ve been at cross purposes for far too long. We talked about it last night until two in the morning.”
“Without a chaperone, young lady?” Janice grinned. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. It was nice being the calm one in the relationship for once. “Wow, the church is going to have fun with this one.”
Charlotte’s brow screwed up like a row of dishtowels. “Do you think it will be awful?”
“Amazingly enough, I don’t think so. I believe a whole bunch of us have known this for a long time. Only you and Pastor were in the dark.”
Charlotte giggled until she almost fell out of the chair. “I can’t believe this is happening to me. I feel like Cinderella.”
“Well, ma’am, let me tell you: After the ball, Cinderella had to put up with Prince Charming’s dirty socks, big belches, and messy habits.”
Charlotte threw her arms out as if embracing the world. “I don’t care. I’ll put up with them all and nothing anyone’s going to tell me can dim it a bit.”
Janice smiled with affection. “I’m glad. I wouldn’t steal a moment of fairy godmother dust from you.”
“I do need one honest answer from you.”
“You got it. What is it?”
“Would I make a really wretched pastor’s wife?”
“My dear, you’d be the best ever. And I mean it.”
Charlotte hugged her one more time. “Thanks Janice. You’re the greatest.”
Saturday couldn’t come quickly enough to suit Charlotte. She longed to meet Lisa at last. She hadn’t even held her in the hospital because she was afraid that if she looked at her, she’d never be able to let her go. She’d imagined what she looked like a thousand times and wondered if she’d recognize her.
Gordon came at ten o’clock in the morning to pick her up. They were to meet Lisa and her family at noon, and it was a two-hour drive. On the way there, they caught up on many months of missed conversations.
They pulled up to a brick Cape Cod home, with green shutters and a red roof. Primroses lined the sidewalk and pansies peeked out of the bushes in the front. Charlotte sat there looking at the house, afraid to move.
“Would you like to pray before we go in?” Gordon’s voice startled her. She’d been so lost in thought.
“Yes, I would.”
“God, we pray that you would calm Charlotte’s spirit. We know that you have been working in Lisa’s heart to prepare her for this meeting. We ask that you give them both the words to communicate to each other now. We trust you with their emotions and pray that this meeting will help them both close and open a new chapter in their lives. Amen.” He then reached over to squeeze Charlotte’s hand. She held on to it as if they’d been chained together.
“Are you ready?”
She nodded and reached for the door handle. Gordon scooted around the car and linked her arm in his as they walked up to the house. He rang the doorbell, and they waited about twenty seconds until the door slowly opened. A pleasant looking woman peeked out at them. Her hair was graying at the temples, and she wore a maroon jumper over a crisp white blouse. When she saw who it was she broke into a smile that transformed her face. Charlotte loved her immediately for being the woman who’d taken her baby when she couldn’t herself.
“Oh my, you must be Charlotte.” Her voice was soft and tender, putting Charlotte at ease.
“Yes, I am. And you’re Elizabeth?”
“In person. Won’t you come in?” She led them into a living room that was furnished in floral chintz, looking like a garden had sprung up on all the furniture and curtains.
A man stood as they walked in, extending his hand, “Hello, I’m Gary. It’s nice to meet you.”
After they’d all made their introductions, they sat down. Charlotte realized she was twirling her hair, so she let her hand fall to her lap and said, “It’s so kind of you to allow me this meeting. It must have been a shock for you to hear from us out of the blue.”
“It certainly was a surprise.” Elizabeth smoothed her dress as she spoke. “But after the initial shock wore off, I knew it was perfect timing. Lisa has known since she was very young that she was adopted, but not until the last few months had she shown any curiosity about you. When Gordon called, I knew the time was right.”
“I suppose you thought that with a closed adoption you’d never have to deal with me.”
“Not at all. It bothered me a lot that you wanted it to be closed. I felt sure you’d change your mind sometime.”
“I’ve wanted to see her for years, but I didn’t know where to start looking for her. Now I realize the time is perfect. A few years ago may have been all wrong.”
Gary had been silent but now spoke up. “Lisa spent the night with a friend last night. She’s supposed to be home any time now. We’d hoped she’d be here by the time you got here.”
“Yes, can I get you some iced tea?”
“I’d love some.” Gordon’s first words showed his enthusiasm and nervousness.
Elizabeth had just disappeared into the kitchen when the front door was thrown open by a young girl laughing and waving to someone in a car. “Thanks! I had a great time.” She dropped her bag and turned around. When she saw Charlotte her mouth dropped open and she stared.
Charlotte was speechless as well. Lisa was a miniature version of herself at that age. Now that she was in front of her, she had no idea what to say. Fortunately Gary intervened, “Hi honey, this is Charlotte, as I’m sure you’ve figured out.” He ignored Gordon for now, knowing Charlotte would be the one Lisa cared about.
Charlotte stood up, wanting more than anything to hug Lisa, but she waited for her to make the first move. Lisa finally closed her mouth, walked over to Charlotte, and shook her hand. “Pleased to meet you.”
Charlotte grinned at this polite response. Obviously she’d been taught well. It wasn’t a hug, but it would have to do. “And I am very pleased to meet you.”
Elizabeth walked back into the
room with the iced tea. “Oh, hi Lisa. How was your sleepover?”
“It was great, Mom. We had the best time. Jeannie made us play this cool scavenger hunt game. Our team won because we found the most stuff.”
Charlotte felt a slight twinge of remorse at this exchange, knowing she’d missed the joys of these daily interactions, but she refused to dwell on that now. Elizabeth turned to her. “Why don’t we eat lunch? I’ve got sandwiches prepared.”
They went into the dining room and settled into their chairs. Lisa sat across from Charlotte. “I can’t believe how much I look like you. And you’re pretty! When I get these braces off I’ll be that pretty, won’t I, Mom?”
Gary grinned. “You’d better be after what those things cost.”
Elizabeth gave him a frown. “Of course you will be.”
Lisa ignored them both. “So, what are you like? Are you going to marry this guy?”
Gordon leaned over. “She is. She just doesn’t know it yet.” Charlotte blushed and Gary guffawed loudly.
Lisa smiled. “Do you have a job?”
“I’m a writer.”
“Like for a newspaper or something?”
“No, I write novels.”
“Wow, are you famous?”
“Not at all,” Charlotte assured her. “Only among a few of my fans.”
Lisa looked a little disappointed at that, but soon recovered. “Will you give me some of your books to read?”
“As many as you want.” This pleased Charlotte more than anything else. She only hoped Lisa would like the books. “Do you like to read?”
At this all three of them burst out laughing. Gary spoke first. “We can hardly get her nose out of a book. Our library has to add on to keep up with her.”
“Oh Dad,” Lisa waved her hand at him. “They were going to build on anyway.”
They continued on with small talk through lunch and then Charlotte helped clean up. While they were washing the dishes, Lisa asked, “So why did you give me up?”
Elizabeth froze. “Lisa!”
“No, no. I want to answer that. I expected her to ask.” Charlotte put the dishtowel down. “I was only eighteen years old when I had you. I didn’t love the man who got me pregnant and knew we didn’t have a life together. I wanted you to have more, and I see now that I made the right decision.” Elizabeth gave her a worried smile.