Gordon looked at her, trying to figure out the change. “Of course the offer’s still open. Will Friday night work for you?”
“That would be great.”
“I’ll pick you up at six o’clock then.”
“Sounds good.”
She turned to go, then heard him ask, “What made you change your mind, Charlotte?”
She smiled like someone who knew an inside joke. “I’ve decided to live dangerously.”
Gordon raised his eyebrows.
“I’ll explain more on Friday night.”
“Very well. I’ll be patient.”
Thursday and Friday were good days for Charlotte. She spent them reading, writing, and taking long walks. She felt like she was preparing for a great battle or maybe a marathon. Either way, she needed to build up her strength. While she was out in the yard on Friday, Mrs. Bartholomew wandered over. “Did you have a nice time with your mother?”
“Yes, I did. She’s great at giving me perspective.”
Mrs. Bartholomew nodded as if she knew exactly what she was talking about. “You know, we have to be careful not to miss life’s blessings.”
Charlotte looked at her, confused. What could she be getting at? “That’s true.”
“Just because one thing doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean another thing won’t.”
“Yes, you’re right.” She frowned, wondering how this woman could seem to know what she was thinking.
Mrs. Bartholomew threw up her arms. “I just thought you should know that.” Then she walked back to her house. Mustard leapt so high in the air chasing a butterfly that he landed on his side. So much for cats always landing on their feet.
When Charlotte went inside, she decided to call Janice.
“Hello?”
“Have you got a minute?”
“I always have a minute for you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t have a child hanging on my leg as we speak.”
Charlotte laughed. “That’s okay. Just hang up on me if it gets to be too much. I’ll understand.”
“So, what’s going on?”
“First, I want to apologize for the way I acted in the park the other day.”
“No need to. I shouldn’t have pried.”
“You weren’t prying. I just shut you out and it wasn’t fair. I don’t want to do that any more.” Then she took a deep breath. “I also wanted you to know that I have a date with Gordon tonight.”
“No kidding! That’s great. I can’t believe it. Am I prophetic or what?”
“I don’t know, but before you get too excited, I have something else to tell you. Can I come over for a bit?”
“Sure, I’m just about to put Gina down. Why don’t you give me half an hour to read our entire library before she goes to sleep.”
“Fair enough. See you then.”
At two o’clock that afternoon, Janice heard Charlotte’s entire tale. It explained everything.
Charlotte was grateful that being with Janice had taken up most of the afternoon. Telling her was like a practice run; hopefully it wouldn’t be too hard to explain it to Gordon. She’d just finished getting ready when he knocked on her door. He came in while she gathered together a light jacket and her purse.
In the car they mostly talked about small things, like on most first dates, and Charlotte couldn’t help feeling that what she was about to drop on him wasn’t fair; but it was better that he know up front. She’d learned that lesson the hard way. When they entered the restaurant, she was relieved that it was a private place that lent itself to quiet conversation. After they ordered, she plunged ahead. “Gordon, I told you that I’d explain why I refused you the first time you asked me on this date.”
“Yes, I’m quite curious about that. Quite cloak and dagger, it is.” He noticed that she was twirling her hair.
“I didn’t mean to be mysterious; it’s just that I knew I’d need a big chunk of time to explain it.”
“We’ve all the time in the world.”
Charlotte nodded. “I was engaged to be married last year.”
Gordon looked surprised. “Really? I didn’t know that.”
“I suppose you wouldn’t. I believe I only told Janice.” She stopped to take a sip of water because her throat was already dry.
“So, are you feeling gun-shy after that experience?”
“Very, but that’s not the point, and that’s not why I refused you.”
“Keep going.”
“The reason this man left me was because of something in my past. It wasn’t until after our engagement that I told him about it, and he couldn’t handle it; he left me for another woman shortly afterwards.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t. I haven’t told you anything yet.” Charlotte was rather short. She thought subconsciously that she was making it easy for Gordon to reject her by her behavior. At that moment the waiter brought their food, so they fell silent. After it was set before them, Charlotte suggested, “Why don’t we eat a while before I go on.”
“Whatever you want.”
They tried to eat, but the silence that descended was ridiculous. It was impossible to go back to small talk at this point. Finally Charlotte put her fork down and continued. “I was raised in a Christian home. My parents gave me every opportunity to know Christ and walk with him, but when I hit high school, I rebelled in a big way. I didn’t want anything to do with church or my parents. All I wanted was to have fun and be popular. I abandoned my childhood friends and did whatever it took to fit in with the crowds at school. We partied on weekends with lots of drugs and alcohol. My poor parents didn’t know what to do with me. They tried everything other than to tie me up in my room.” At this point Charlotte looked so sad that Gordon wondered if she’d be able to go on, but she took a big breath and continued, “I ran with lots of different boys, but one in particular caught my heart. He was very well liked by everyone and when he noticed me, I would have followed him to the ends of the earth.”
Gordon knew what was coming next and wished he could plug his ears. “The inevitable happened. I got pregnant. I was just eighteen years old, and I was having a baby. I thought about getting an abortion, but because I’d been adopted, I just couldn’t do it. I decided to carry the baby and give it away.” Charlotte stopped now, unable to go on.
Gordon stared at her, unsure what to say. Finally Charlotte picked up the tale again. “Because I was young and foolish, I wanted a closed adoption. I wanted to give that baby away and never think about it again. What happened instead is that I think about her all the time. I’d give anything to be able to see her again. She’d be almost eleven years old now.”
They both sat there in silence picking at their food. When Gordon still didn’t say anything, Charlotte began joking, “I’ll bet this is the most unusual first date you’ve ever had. You can write it down as the craziest ever. Anyway, I didn’t want you to invest a lot in a relationship without knowing the kind of person you’re really dating.”
Gordon nodded. “You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. I have to admit, I never expected you to tell me all this tonight.”
“I’m sure Miss Manners would say I did it all wrong. But I did my life all wrong. That’s the real problem.”
They finished up their dinner, talking about the weather and youth group. Afterwards, they went to see a movie. When it was over, Gordon took Charlotte home.
As he was driving away, the phone rang. “Hi, it’s me, Janice. I couldn’t wait until morning. What happened tonight?”
“Oh, he was very nice and polite. He didn’t say much at all. I think I pretty well scared him away for good.”
“I’m sorry, Charlotte. I was hoping for better news.”
“Me too. Thanks for caring, Janice.” She hung up the phone and went to bed.
CHAPTER twenty eight
Pastor Gordon announced Sunday morning that he would be going on a two-week vacation. Charlotte noticed that he avoided her, so she concluded that
he was taking this sudden vacation to get away from her. The realization that living dangerously might actually be dangerous came home to her. It would be tough from now on.
Refusing to give in to despair, she stayed busy and involved. One of the things that was a pleasure was to see JoAnn graduate. After the ceremony, she gave Charlotte a big hug. Charlotte couldn’t help thinking with satisfaction that because God used her in JoAnn’s life, JoAnn wouldn’t have to go through what Charlotte was going through now. JoAnn planned to go on to school at the local community college and then transfer to a Christian college. She had decided to be a teacher, which amazed all her instructors who had pulled their hair out with her the past three years.
Charlotte also took a trip back to her mom’s to see Lyla’s baby. As she held the sweet little bundle in her arms, tears rolled down her cheeks at what she’d missed. Although she knew that placing her baby for adoption was the right thing for her, it was still painful and she had to work through it now and then.
Her mother was a great comfort to her. When Charlotte told her about her one and only date with Gordon, her mom rocked her in her arms as she used to when Charlotte was a child. Sometimes consequences for past actions seemed too much of a punishment. Margaret wished she could take this one for Charlotte. She remembered how she used to cry when she had to discipline Charlotte when she was little. Her emotions were similar now.
When Charlotte got back to Crispens Point, she spent a couple of afternoons with Janice. Janice had not judged her at all for her past behavior. Her attitude was that all teenagers are somewhat loopy, and that those girls who took chances and didn’t get pregnant perhaps would never change. “The good thing about you, Charlotte, is that you learned from your mistakes. If you hadn’t gone through that, you might have continued on your self-destructive course, and who knows where you’d be today.”
“You’re right about that, Janice. I think about it often. What would I be like? The thought scares me. So for that reason, I’m glad it happened. I grew up overnight and listened to God for the first time in my life.” Charlotte bounced Gina on her lap for a minute before the little girl climbed down to investigate a lady bug walking across the floor. “I don’t think there’s any chance I would have become a writer, either, without such a traumatic turn of events. The pregnancy isolated me from my friends, causing me to retreat into books and writing. I think, perhaps, that I write romances so that I can make the ending come out the way I want it to. The way it did with you and Victor.”
Janice smiled a sad smile, wishing such happiness could come to her friend. “Well, I don’t know what I’d do without you. Even with a husband and a child, it’s not enough. I still need a friend.”
“Thank you, Janice. That means a lot.”
Charlotte had agreed in January to teach a writing class at the community college. These many months later she would rather have skipped it, but perhaps it was best to keep her mind occupied. It would only be for six weeks. She supposed she could endure that.
The first week started with a bang. A young man with slicked back hair, blue jeans, and a T-shirt that said “King of the Hill” shot his hand into the air. “What in the world could you possibly teach us? I mean, you’ve written a bunch of books and all, but they’re all formula, all the same.”
“Have you read all my books?”
“No.”
“Have you read any of my books?”
The young man hemmed and hawed. “Not exactly, but I know they’re all romances.”
“Ah. Do you have something you’ve written that you’d like to share with the class?”
He started to look like a cornered rat. “Not today.”
“Do you want to be a writer?”
“Yeah. I want to write fantasy. Like Tolkien.”
“Worthy man to look up to. Have you had a publisher interested in your work?”
By now, the boy looked like he wanted to melt into the woodwork. “No,” he whined. “But I’m just starting.”
“Exactly. And it could very well be that someday you will be much better than I am. But right now, I know at least a little more than you do. Will you give me that much?”
“I guess so.” He looked disgusted.
“Thank you. You’ve actually given me a great introduction to this class. I can’t make you into writers. If you’re a writer, you’ll want to write. It will be your recreation. You’ll love assignments because they’ll be a chance to stretch and improve your craft. If you don’t have an assignment, you’ll find another way to write, even if it’s only writing a letter.
“You’ll wake up at night because you’ve just thought of an idea that can’t wait, so you’ll get up and jot it down. You’ll wake up in the morning with excitement because you get to put all the words that have been rolling around in your head on paper and transform them into something worth reading.
“If what I’m talking about sounds crazy to you, you’re not ready to be a writer. It’s not your passion. You’d better look for something else to be passionate about. If what I’m describing makes your heart beat faster because that’s exactly how you feel, you’re on your way to being a writer and this class will be very useful to you. I’ll give you the tools to start down that path.”
Looking out at the twenty or so students, Charlotte could tell which ones were thrilled to be there. Although they were the minority, her words made them sit a little straighter and lean forward a bit more. Even the Tolkien worshiper responded to her speech. She felt it was a good start.
After class a woman who’d sat at the back came forward to talk to her. She looked about forty years old from the few gray hairs that threatened to take over and the crow’s feet that spread from the corners of her eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m so excited about this class. When you were talking, I felt like jumping up and shouting. My kids are finally in school, so I’m able to get back to my own education. I’d like to have my own newspaper column in the local paper. I know I can’t make a living that way, but that’s how I’d like to start. Would you help me?”
“I’d love to. That’s a very reasonable goal. So often writers want to start with the great American novel or a beat on The New York Times. Some are lucky enough to hit that the first time, but it’s rare. Most have to start at a far different place. I’d say you have a good chance of seeing your dream come true.” By the way the woman smiled you would have thought that Charlotte had promised her a trip to Europe.
They set up a time to get together after the next class. She decided that she’d write a sample column each week besides her class assignment, and Charlotte would critique them. When the woman had ten articles, Charlotte would help her write a query letter to the editor that would include Charlotte’s recommendation. She left class flying on a cloud and Charlotte felt almost as good. “Don’t let me ever forget my blessings, Lord,” she whispered as she walked to her car.
When she reached home, Mrs. Bartholomew was waiting on her doorstep with Mustard asleep on her lap. “Is everything okay, Mrs. B?”
“Oh fine. I just wondered if we could order pizza and watch a movie. I’m in a new movie club and I don’t like watching them by myself. I ordered Citizen Kane. It used to be my favorite, but I haven’t seen it for years. Do you know who Rosebud is?”
“No, I don’t. Does she have something to do with the movie?”
“Indeed. You’ll have to see it to understand.”
“You’ve got my curiosity up. Let me put my stuff away and I’ll be right over.”
So the two of them whiled the evening away, and Charlotte discovered everything about Rosebud. When she walked across the street to her own house, she counted her blessings once again. Mrs. Bartholomew had become dear to her.
Mrs. Donahue could tell that something was up between Pastor and Charlotte, but she knew it wasn’t quite right. She invited Charlotte over to cheer her up. She’d looked so sad on Sunday. “Do you like Chinese?”
“I love it.”
?
??Good. I made a recipe I got from a Chinese student who lived in our home for a while. It’s quite authentic and our rule is we have to use chopsticks to eat it. We’re getting pretty good at it, so it’s fun to humiliate our guests while they try.”
“Very funny.”
Mrs. Donahue gave Charlotte some vegetables to cut up. “Are you doing all right, Charlotte? You seem a little down.”
“Do I? I guess I have been a bit. I’ve had a lot going on.”
“Yes, you’ve been a busy woman this spring. Is it too much?”
“No, I’d rather stay active. Sitting at home by myself is no good. Too easy to have a pity party.”
“Don’t I know it; I’m prone to that myself.” Mrs. Donahue threw some meat in a skillet, and it hissed like a snake. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Having me over for dinner,” Charlotte said with a smile.
“I love doing that. Anything else?”
“Not a thing.” Charlotte wished she could tell her more. She’d been so lovely to her, but she couldn’t lay herself bare one more time. “You’ve been wonderful to me. I couldn’t wish for anything else.”
The two of them drifted into a comfortable silence. Mrs. Donahue understood that Charlotte needed her unconditional love right now, so she bestowed it freely. It was her specialty.
The next day Charlotte decided to drop in on Carrie and her mom to see how they were doing. Timmy once more answered the door, but this time he invited her in. “Mom, it’s that lady to see you again,” he yelled, as if only one woman had ever called on her.
“What lady?” she bellowed, but this time she didn’t scare Charlotte. “Oh, it’s you,” she said as she ran a hand through her hair. It looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in a while. “Have a seat.”
“Thank you. Is this a bad time to call?”
“No, not at all. Most evenings we just sit around and play cards or watch TV. What can I do for ya?”
“I just wondered how Carrie was.”
“She’s not here just now because she has a job at the Dairy Crown, but she’s doing pretty well. The doctor we went to has helped a lot. He sent her to a dietician and a counselor who’s helped her get on the right track. She still has bad days, but the good ones happen more often, so I’m glad.”