Hush collapsed on top of me. “Fuck,” he whispered, his tongue tracking the side of my neck. I sank into my mattress, my eyes opening to stare at the dark ceiling. The moon filtered in through the window. The stars were a mass of diamonds in the blackened sky. Out here at my ranch, you’d always see the stars in full effect. No light pollution hiding what should be shining in the sky for all to see.
I lazily ran my hands over both Hush’s and Cowboy’s backs. Cowboy was the first to lift his head and kiss me. He explored my mouth before pulling his head back, only for Hush to take his place. My chest filled with so much happiness . . . so much contentedness that I was scared I wouldn’t be able to contain it all.
When I knew I liked them both, my biggest fear had been that I’d be drawn to one more than the other. Was my heart designed to allow only one in? But as I lay there, kissing both these men who’d so captured my soul, I realized that a heart is infinite. Love can expand and expand. My heart could hold as much as I was willing to let in.
Hush sighed and inched back. His blue eyes found mine. “Are you okay?” he croaked. I kept my legs wrapped tightly around him, not quite ready to let him go—let either of them go.
“Yes,” I replied and became boneless as he smiled that stunning smile again. I traced his stretched lips with my finger. “This is my favorite,” I said. Hush cocked his head to the side. “Your smile.” I ran my finger up to the side of his eyes. “That and your eyes. So pale, they look like ice.” I looked at Cowboy, whose head was perched on my shoulder. “And yours. Almost turquoise.” I shook my head. “Three sets of blue eyes, all different. All who have walked different paths . . .” My heart beat so fast at how we were all here together. “All who have seen the full spectrum of life—the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
Hush pressed his forehead to mine. Cowboy pressed his against my shoulder. We lay like that for many minutes, until Hush rolled off me. I stayed on my back, almost breaking down when two arms slid over my waist from left and right.
I breathed in the mix of scents. And I waited . . . I waited for the regret to kick in. For the accusation that I’d just slept with two men to fill me with dread and shame. But no matter how much I expected it, searched the depths of my heart for it, I couldn’t find any.
“I feel it,” I said, shattering the silence that had drifted over us all.
“What, cher?” Cowboy inquired.
I sighed. “Peace . . . I think.” Hush stilled beside me. When I looked at him, his eyes were fixed on me. I gave a watery smile. “I’ve never felt this . . . peaceful.” I shook my head. “There’s no other word I can use to describe it. Peace. I don’t believe, even as a child, I ever had this.”
“What does it feel like?” I tensed when Hush spoke after several quiet moments of reflection. His deep voice was racked with pain, the hoarse timbre causing my soul to cry out for the agony he was in.
I looked him in the eyes and wondered, for the millionth time, what haunted him so much. What it was that caused the marks on his skin. What earned him his road name. And what he couldn’t let go of to allow him to be happy.
I knew my eyes were glistening. My vision blurred enough to tell me that. I reached down and held both of my guys’ hands. Cowboy ran his thumb over the back of my hand. Hush was clutching onto me for dear life. Such a contrast, I thought. “Happy.” I knew it wasn’t the most profound thing that had ever come out of my mouth. But there was no other word. “Happy,” I repeated and, gazing at the ceiling, I brought Hush’s hand to my lips and kissed it gently.
“What did you find? In Mexico . . .” Cowboy’s question invaded that newly found happiness in a second. He nuzzled into my shoulder and pressed a single kiss on it. “To make you want to leave him? What did you find?”
I closed my eyes, and like it had only happened yesterday, I was instantly there. “Girls.” I shook my head, trying to erase their gaunt, blank faces from my mind. “Lots and lots of lost, tragic girls . . .”
“Maria?” I ran through the house, my feet tapping on the marble floors, to find the housekeeper. The sun was setting and Juan still hadn’t come home. I had been waiting for him. We had a date planned for tonight. I adjusted my bra strap under his shirt that I was wearing over my jean shorts. It still smelled like him. I’d been wearing it all day. I loved it.
“Sia?” I turned to see Maria coming through the hallway.
“Do you know where Juan is?”
She shook her head. “He is a busy man, señorita. He will be home when he is home.”
I pushed a breath out of my mouth. I was now officially sick of the way all Juan’s staff talked down to me. I was seventeen. Juan was twenty-five. I knew most of them thought I was too young to be with him. Hell, I’d heard most of them mutter it in Spanish, thinking I couldn’t understand. I wasn’t the most proficient in Spanish, but I knew enough to understand what they said behind my back. And the not-so-subtle ones called me Lolita. I wouldn’t even need to know a scrap of Spanish to get that damn reference.
I went back to the bedroom and waited for another hour. Sick and tired of waiting for Juan, I threw on my flip-flops and snuck out the front door. Just as I rounded the corner, I saw one of his men—Pablo—getting into the covered Jeep. Deciding in a split second that I could hitch a ride with him, I slithered into the back of the Jeep. I smiled as it roared out of the drive.
I knew Juan worked close by. I had never been to his office. He liked to keep his work life and his private life separate. I had been at his home for two months now. And not once had I been to his work. I got it. My poppa had never let me go to the club. Hell, Ky never even talked about the club when he came to see me. I was used to men being secretive.
But standing me up for the third time this month had made me snap.
About twenty minutes had passed when the Jeep came to a stop. I crouched low, making sure I was hidden by the khaki cloth of the Jeep. I heard talking. What sounded like a barrier being raised a few seconds later. The Jeep drove on only a couple of miles more before we stopped and the engine was turned off.
Pablo left the Jeep. I waited until there were no voices nearby and snuck out of the back. I looked around. I’d expected to find offices. What greeted me was a vast amount of land, agricultural land, which housed several buildings. A larger building sat at the end of a long drive. Where the other barn-like buildings were one story, the one at the end was two. I smiled, knowing that’s exactly where Juan would be.
I kept to the shadowy outskirts of the buildings, trying to keep out of sight as I made my way to where I thought Juan would be. There were men with guns patrolling the main drive. I had no idea why. Juan told me he was a trader. From what I knew that all happened via phone and computers.
I had just made it past one of the buildings when I heard a loud scream come from inside. My footing faltered when it sounded again. It was the voice of a woman. My heart kicked into a sprint.
I was rooted to the spot. Fear and dread ran up my spine. In my peripheral vision I saw a guard walking my way. Without thinking, I opened the door of the building and ducked inside. Grimacing at the putrid smell coming from further inside the building, I snuck along the wall until I came to a door. I heard the low murmur of voices, then I heard one that I knew.
Juan.
The Spanish was muted and rapid. I brushed my hair off my shoulders, opened the door, and stepped into the room.
What greeted me on the other side, I wouldn’t have expected in a million years. Girls. Row upon row of girls lying on small cot beds, IVs coming from their arms.
A shocked cry escaped my mouth. The men gathered in the middle of the room all turned to look at me. Juan, the man I had fallen head over heels for, looked my way.
“Sia,” he said, a dark edge to his voice. I pressed myself up against the door I had just entered through. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I wanted to speak. I wanted to tell him that I’d come to see him, but my eyes wouldn’t leave the girls in the beds. They flitted ov
er each one, all of different hair colors, ethnicities, and heights . . . until my eyes landed on one at the end of the room.
I didn’t even realize that I had hit the floor until Juan gripped my arm and yanked me to my feet. “Michelle . . .” I whispered, my voice cracking as I took in her brown hair, now limp and clumped in sweaty strands... and her body, naked and starved. “Michelle!” I screamed as I tried to run in her direction.
I was stopped in my tracks by a hand slicing across my face, knocking me to the floor. My palms slapped against the tiles. Juan dragged me to my feet and pulled me from the building and into his car waiting out front.
“Michelle!” I screamed, but before I could open the car and run to my best friend, something pricked my arm. I snapped my head to Juan. He was holding a syringe. “You’re a trafficker,” I accused. Dizziness took me over. My vision became blurred, my heartbeat slowing from whatever he had injected into me.
Juan spared me a glance before he pulled his car from this evil place. “I’m a trader, bella. The stock is merely . . . semantics.”
I could hear the tick-tocking of my bedroom clock. Tears cascaded down my cheeks. “He had your friend?” Cowboy’s voice was laced with a venom I’d never heard from him before.
“Still has her, maybe.” A sob ripped from my throat. “I have no idea if he sold her, if she’s still there . . . if she’s dead. When Ky and Styx came for me, we couldn’t get to her. There was no time. They were nearly killed getting me. And worse, they came without the permission of my poppa or the old prez.” I wiped my cheeks. “They risked their lives to rescue me.” I stared out the window. “It was all my fault. She could have been suffering all this time . . . and it’s all my fault.” I laughed without humor. “I believed she’d gone elsewhere. Maybe found someone to love too. The fact that she hadn’t called me in a while wasn’t strange behavior for Michelle.” I lowered my head. “I was a fucking idiot. Running around like I was the lady of his home while thinking my friend was off living her best life. When in fact I was just his possession, and she was in hell.”
Hush moved over me, his face staring down. “It isn’t your fault,” he said gently. Cowboy gave him a look. “It’s not the same,” Hush argued. “This really wasn’t her fault.” He turned back to me, leaving me lost as to what they were really talking about. “You both went to Mexico together, to travel. He preyed on you. It’s what the fucker does.”
“I’ve seen one of those places,” Cowboy admitted. I snapped my head to him. Blood drained from my face. “Believe me, cher. You had no fault in Michelle being taken. I’ve seen how these things operate. They’re fucking well-oiled machines. The Hangmen are fucking damned, evil to most people. But him? Fucker is on another level.”
“I never knew,” I whispered, picturing Juan’s pretty smile. “I fell for a lie . . . and he has made me pay over and over again.”
“We got you now.” Hush pulled me closer, Cowboy closing in on my other side. “We both got you now.”
I wanted to believe them, but as I closed my eyes, tiredness pulling me under, all I saw was the black rose in the Polaroid, lying on the bed where my back was burned for good. And I knew it wasn’t going to be that simple. “Always mine,” Juan’s voice whispered insistently in my mind. “Forever mine.”
In Juan’s eyes, I was forever his. It wouldn’t matter how much time had passed. Or that I had fallen into the arms of these two men. He would still be coming.
The sense of peace I’d just felt was, in an instant, shattered to smithereens.
“Mi rosa negra,” he whispered into my subconscious, making me determined to cling on to Hush and Cowboy for as long as I was here to have them.
However long that might be.
Chapter Eight
Cowboy
Two weeks later . . .
“Make sure to behave yourselves when we get there.”
I looked at Sia, sitting between me and Hush in the truck, and put my hand over my chest. “Who? Me?”
Hush smirked, his hand on Sia’s thigh. Sia cocked an eyebrow in my direction. “Well, I ain’t gotta worry about Hush. It’s you who can’t keep his mouth shut. Always fucking busy.”
I licked my lips and glanced down in the direction of her pussy. She followed my eyes then slapped my arm. “What?” I faked my surprise as I turned into the ranch where Sia was looking over a horse today. I leaned in close. “Thought you liked it when my mouth was busy.”
“Cowboy!” Sia protested, pretending to be shocked, but still she shot me a fucking knowing look. One that said the bitch loved me all up in her. Hush stared out the window, the brother searching the ranch like a hawk. Smiler and Tank had just done a drive-by of the place. It seemed secure.
“I mean it, Cowboy. Don’t fuck with the vet, okay?”
“He keeps his eyes off you and I won’t.” I looked around Sia to Hush. “Right, Val?”
Brother just shrugged. “He keeps his eyes on the horse and we won’t have any issues.”
“Motherfucking bikers,” Sia muttered to herself, but when she dipped her head, I saw a fucking shit-eating smirk pull on the corner of her mouth. Bitch loved that we’d claimed her now. And fuck had we claimed her. After the first night in her bed, we’d never left. Only time we made ourselves scarce was when the VP came calling. And since that’d only happened twice, we were all good.
Even Hush wasn’t pushing her away anymore. After the first night we’d taken her, I was sure he’d find some excuse to break it off the next morning. Instead I’d woken to him making love to her again, mouth welded to hers. I’d joined in, taking my turn. Figured it would be rude not too.
Although Hush was with her, the brother still hadn’t told her about his past. Hadn’t told her why we went nomad. Nothing. Not even about his scars. Why his eyes were fucking blue.
I liked the way we were. And fuck, I was falling for the bitch. Every day I was around her. Every fucking night I was with her reeled me further and further the fuck in. I saw it in Hush’s eyes too. Every time I caught him staring at her, I saw it as clear as day.
But when I’d confronted him, asked him when he was gonna tell her it all, he just told me to back off and walked away.
I pulled my head back into the game. “Clara told me this asshole is always sniffing around you like a fucking dog in heat.”
“He is not!” Sia shrilled.
“Yeah, well, he better stay back if he knows what’s good for him,” I warned as I brought the truck to a stop. “Just remember, we’re buying into your business, helping it expand. Friends of your brother’s.” I flicked my head to Hush. “I know you like nothing more than letting your mouth go, can barely keep quiet, but remember I’m the one who knows about horses, so just try keeping them lips sealed.” I winked at my best friend; he just rolled his eyes.
We piled out of the truck, and Sia took the lead through the gate to the stalls. Hush and I walked behind. A dark-haired suave motherfucker stood next to the horse I guessed we were here to look at.
“Helen,” he piped up, all fucking smiles. I glanced at my brother and saw his eyes narrow. Good. We were on the same fucking page. “Got here okay?”
Sia nodded and hugged the vet. My skin prickled. Fuck, I was laid-back, nothing much in life bothered me, but seeing that prick’s hands on my bitch really wasn’t sitting well with me. Hush folded his arms over his chest. “Feeling a surge of rage too?” I asked quietly. Hush raised his eyebrow at me. I shrugged, keeping the smug vet bastard in my sights. “Fucking weird thing for me to feel. This is what it’s like to be you?”
Before my brother could speak, Sia turned around and gestured to me and Hush. “Tito, this is Liam and Michael; they’re recent investors in my place. Brought them along today to see how we do things.”
The vet looked surprised, but he quickly regained his huge grin for Sia. I felt like fucking growling, but I held it back. Sia would probably bitch-slap me if I dared. My head tipped to the side in thought. That sounded more fucking appealing
than it should.
“About time, Hel. I’ve told you to expand for a couple of years now.”
Sia gave him a tight smile. The vet, remembering his good-boy manners, reached forward and shook our hands. I wanted to crush the fucker’s fingers, but I thought better of it. We were meant to fly under the radar. “Tito Gomez. I have an animal hospital over in Spicewood. Been helping Helen here these past few years.” His eyes ran down us both. I knew what he was seeing. Big fuck-off brothers, tatted to fuck and could pretty much kill with one hand. “You’re into horses?” he asked, sounding dubious.
“More my thing. Michael here is the money.” I pointed to the mare. “She good stock?” I ran my hand down her leg and lifted her hoof, checking all over her to see if she really was a good buy. I had just straightened when Gomez zeroed in on a tattoo on my arm.
“One-percenter tattoo, isn’t it?” I tensed, feeling Hush move in beside me. “Something to do with bikers, right? One-percenters?” Gomez looked at my face. “You ride?”
My fucking eyes narrowed. I shook my head, playing the damn part. “Nah. Tribute to my granddaddy. He tried that life for a while before settling in the bayou and raising horses.”
“Really?” Gomez queried, then he nodded his head. Looked like he believed the story. He pointed to the mare. “Good solid stock.” He turned to Sia. “She’ll be good for you to train. Recently broken in. Should get a good return, if you sell her for the barrels.”
Sia nodded and moved to the horse. When I looked at Hush, the brother was watching the vet. “I’ll take her,” Sia agreed. She walked off with the owner to talk money. Gomez went with her. Hush and I never let him out of our sight. The asshole had a huge hard-on for Sia, that was for sure. But beyond that, he seemed like a normal guy.