Read DIchotomies: Poetry From Bipolar Disorder Page 1


Contents

  A Brave Little Craft 6

  A Brief Respite Outside Of Time 7

  A Ghost Who Drifts Among The World 7

  A New Day Dawns 8

  A Wanderer 8

  A World Without Hope 9

  Above The Mountains I Soar 10

  Adrift On A Timeless Sea 11

  After The Rain The Storm Is Spent 12

  All Between Your Ears 12

  Alone In The Darkness 13

  An Angel Came To Me One Day 14

  Are You Real? 14

  Conception's Debt 15

  Conflagration 15

  Cry Me No More Tears 16

  Dark The Fate 16

  Dawning 16

  Dialing It Up, Dialing It Down 17

  Dreams And Time 17

  Echoes Of Silence 18

  End Of Days 18

  Eternal Bed 19

  Eternity 19

  Evil Little Whispers 20

  For Today I Will Experience Life 20

  Few Understand 21

  Forever Memories 21

  Freedom Ahead 22

  Heart Shredded By Razors Of Tears 22

  Friends 23

  Gentle Raindrops 24

  Haiku - Rejection 24

  Haiku - Conflict 24

  Have You Ever? 25

  Heaven Can Wait 27

  Human Family - Butterfly Cinquain 27

  High Atop A Crumbling Peak 28

  Homeless Birds 29

  Hope 30

  I Am The Void And The Void Is Me 31

  I Am Trying To Be A Happier Soul 32

  I Need.... 33

  I Once Was Sane 33

  I Sing A Good Song 34

  I Speak In Code 35

  I'm On Top Of The World 35

  Illusion 36

  I'm Sorry 36

  In My Darkened Sky 36

  In A Land Of Darkness Am I Lost 37

  Insanity 38

  Joy 38

  Into The Wind 39

  Isolation 40

  It Doesn't Work Anymore 41

  Just Going Along 41

  It Is The Cycle Of BP, It Is Your Life 42

  I've Fought It Before, I'll Fight It Again 43

  Just One Tiny Clue 44

  Life Passing By 44

  Life 45

  Life Is 46

  Lost In Time, Lost In Space 47

  Masks 47

  Meltdown 48

  My Walls 48

  My Life 49

  My Mind's Meanderings 50

  My World, My Life 51

  Mythology Fulfilled 52

  No Peace For Me Will There Ever Be 53

  Normalcy 54

  Out Of Space And Out Of Time 54

  Normalcy - A Gift From God 55

  Oh It's A Beautiful Day 56

  Once I Wandered A Land 57

  One Day At A Time 58

  One Single Black Grain 59

  One Way Glass 59

  Pain Is Life 60

  Poetry 62

  Puffy White Cotton 62

  Raindrops 63

  Reach Out And Grab A Star 63

  Shifting Rules 63

  Short Circuit 64

  Silence 64

  Sometimes You Just Need To Bleed 65

  Spring 65

  Swirling Mists Of Illusion 66

  Take Me Away, Way Over The Moon 66

  Tears Of Joy 67

  Thank You God For This Day 68

  Thank You Lord For These Days 69

  The Battle Rages Within 70

  The Beast 71

  The Beast And The Heart 72

  The Beast He Is Me 73

  The Blending Of The Days 74

  The Blossom Failing (Haiku) 75

  The Debt Is Mine To Pay 75

  The Cheshire Cat 76

  The Dying Of The Light 77

  The Darkness Within Me 78

  The Elevator 79

  The Eternal Battle 80

  The Eyes In The Mirror 80

  The Fog 81

  The Invisible Man 81

  The Geometry Of The Cycles 82

  The Hand Of The Fates 83

  The Land Of The Lost 83

  The Light At The End Of The Storm 85

  The Light's Last Fading 86

  The Maelstrom 87

  The Man Who Lived In Layers 88

  The Maze 89

  The Night Is Dark And Full of Terrors 89

  The Pane Of Glass That Separates 90

  The Passing Of The Light 91

  The Paths We Tread 92

  The Peace Of A Bee 93

  The Pit 94

  The Real, True Power 95

  The Redoubt 96

  The Shadows Have Voices 96

  The Return Of The Light 97

  The Storm 98

  The Story The Bards Do Tell 99

  The Sun Peaks Out 99

  The Stranger In The Mirror 100

  The Tide 101

  The Wings Of Time 101

  The Unquiet Mind 102

  The Vortex 103

  The Walls Keep On Growing 103

  The Wheel 104

  The World Tipped And I Fell Off 105

  Then He Sat Back And Laughed 106

  There To Peruse The Lands Of Oz Once Again 107

  There Will Be Not A Trace 108

  This Moment In Time 108

  This Time I Made It 109

  Thoughts 110

  Through A Glass Darkly 111

  Through A Raindrop Filtered 112

  Today Will Remain Ever The Same 113

  Tonight May God Grant Me Some Sleep 114

  Treasured Days 115

  Truthful Honesty At Least In Part 115

  Wander The Silvery Magical Ethereal Way 116

  Weeping Heavens - A Quinzane 116

  When Evil Beastie's Head First Reared 117

  When My Hearts Stops It's Beating At Last 118

  Where Have You Gone 119

  Where Once Upon A Morn So Dreary 120

  Whispers Of Madness 120

  Who Am I 120

  Where There Once Was Dark 121

  Who Am I? Where Have I Gone? 122

  Wired 123

  Yeah.... 123

  You Don't Know... 124

  You Prayed For Help 125

  A Brave Little Craft

  I'm riding a boat in a wild torrent

  A tiny little boat, a valiant craft

  It's inundated with waves

  From it's very fore to it's aft

  Totally adrift, at the sea's mercy

  No oars or rudder with which to steer

  No way to keep steerage, no way at all

  It's fate in the hands of God I fear

  Little craft against the waves

  I cry out like a little child

  Stop it now. Stop it please

  Little craft, adrift in the wild

  Rocking, rocking, it's always rocking

  To and fro, up and down, all around

  I keep looking for landfall anywhere

  Looking for it but it's not to be found

  The little boat never does stop

  No rest for it is to be found

  It just keeps shaking, quaking

  And rocking all around and round

  Up one wave, o'er the bow it breaks

  Down the next, down always down

  First sliding then running

  Down it goes, it can't be found

  Faithful little boat never gives up

  Riding the waves barely staying afloat

  It keeps beating the elements

  Keeps winning does this tiny boat

  Hooray for this brave little craft

 
For without it I'd be dead in the sea

  There is no one to provide rescue

  So in the end I'm left with just me

  A Brief Respite Outside Of Time

  Adrift inside the world tonight

  A shadow untouched by the light

  Separated from discord and unity

  Outside of the human community

  Deep melancholy peace pervades

  Hollow ache weakened o'er decades

  All color right now has gone away

  Perception bathed in shades of gray

  Night's phantoms faintly calling

  Foreign thoughts so enthralling

  Alone with the self in the dark

  Gently nursing the fading spark

  A brief respite outside of time

  Renews the soul, serene, sublime

  A Ghost Who Drifts Among The World

  A ghost who drifts among the world

  Control inside an iron fist is curled

  Stressed and cracked and now eroding

  Endless struggle to prevent imploding

  In silence screaming to all and none

  Lost and wandering until life is done

  Not one other permitted ever to see

  There's nothing left, there is no me

  A New Day Dawns

  The sun at last has risen

  A golden orb in the East

  Magical rays bathing all

  A sight for eyes to feast

  Cloudless cyan blue sky

  Set aglow by golden light

  Endless expanse of magic

  All the world now so bright

  Evil darkness gone at last

  Vanquished by mighty sun

  It may be just one day

  I'll take each and every one

  Gloria from on high above

  All awash in golden rays

  The dark is ever creeping

  For now sun fills the days

  A Wanderer

  A wanderer in an empty world

  Deep shadows over all unfurled

  Lost and lonely circles of light

  Feebly try to push back the night

  The stars still twinkle way up high

  Among the trees the winds still sigh

  On sandy shores waves still roll

  Amid the normalcy one lost soul

  Amid the darkness thoughts swirled

  Endlessly he wanders an empty world

  A World Without Hope

  So dark and dreary

  Not one ray of light

  No not even nearly

  Not a possibility one

  To be found in the land

  For without any hope

  Live is ever so bland

  Good things just will not come

  Better days will never be found

  If you cannot hope for them

  They will never come round

  Hope is belief in better things

  It is trusting it won't always be bad

  It is believing that it will improve

  It is knowing you won't always be sad

  So give yourself hope for another day

  All you must do is to believe

  Or the sadness that weighs on your soul today

  Will never end, it will never leave

  May the good Lord grant me this prayer

  A day without hope may I never face

  It is an integral part of what I am

  A poor member of the human race

  Above The Mountains I Soar

  I'm running oh so high

  When I'm high I'm fast

  That's when I feel good

  The die has been cast

  My thoughts spin so fast

  Round and round and again

  Remembering everywhere

  That I've ever once been

  They're spinning away now

  Flying this way, that way

  I don't know what to do

  Or what I should say

  Sleep is one thing

  That I don't need

  When I'm going this way

  Running with speed

  Good thing too because

  It's something I'll not get

  When I'm flying this high

  I will lay you a bet

  The sky's the limit

  And the world's my own

  There's nothing for which

  I think I must atone

  Riding hypomanic winds

  Above the mountains I soar

  It's a joy and a wonder

  And it's never a bore

  Someday it will end

  And to earth I'll return

  But for now I'll soar

  Like a rocket I'll burn

  Adrift On A Timeless Sea

  The waves lap gently at the sides

  The tiny splash of their passing

  Almost unnoticed among the eons

  The sails flap ever so lazily

  Stirred but slightly by the mild breeze

  The wake barely trails us as we drift

  so calmly upon this ageless sea

  Time passes us but we do not pass it

  It stretches out forever both fore and aft.

  Having come from nowhere

  Taking forever getting from there to here

  We have no place to go

  And we're in no rush to get there

  We have forever to arrive there

  We are adrift on an timeless sea

  The days pass endlessly

  Never the same but ever changing

  Always the quiet lap of the waves

  The same gently stirring breeze

  The hypnotic ripple of our tiny wake

  Horizons never changing

  Yet never standing still

  The sea carries us but we go nowhere

  Someday we may arrive there

  We pass onward, ever onward

  Going nowhere with no undue haste

  Slowly, inexorably we pass into the sunset

  To glide our way out of the sunrise on the morrow,

  the ever unchanging tomorrow

  We await the storm, the one we're sure will come

  The inestimable fury, the waves lashing at us,

  The winds making the sails crack as they whip

  Our wake will be lengthened, we'll gather speed

  With all haste we will head for home

  Across the ageless expanse of the timeless sea

  After The Rain The Storm Is Spent

  After the rain the storm is spent

  Roiling clouds are by rainbows rent

  Golden sunbeams their warmth bestow

  On raindrop dampened earth below

  Once wind whipped air now quiescent

  The musty dampness so evanescent

  Mother Earth's face washed clean anew

  Life refreshed beneath skies now blue

  All Between Your Ears

  A mind is a traitorous thing

  Filled with foreign thoughts

  that you know are not your own

  Two halves perpetually at war

  Each hating the other unto death

  Violent confrontation

  Unyielding hatred

  Despair and self loathing

  Suicidal ideations

  Twisting, turning

  Never resting

  Never pausing

  Eternally unquiet

  All between your ears

  Alone In The Darkness

  Alone in the darkness, can't you see?

  There's nothing left inside of me

  I shout and I scream, there's nothing here

  Cause the darkness is all, that's what I fear

  The shouts echo and rebound all around

  There's nothing here, naught to be found

  Through the window life is out there

  Here I sit lost, alone and nowhere

  Give me but a taste of that life

  Without the darkness full of strife

/>   Feel the hatred, the sorrow and pain

  Taste the tears that pour down like rain

  While all the world passes me by

  I sit here alone, my eye's aren't dry

  The loneliness is worse it comes from within

  There is life all around, if I could only get in

  Walls of my making, they're walls of thick steel

  Walling me off so I don't have to feel

  But they work two ways those walls of mine

  Of life and laughter they give no sign

  Only darkness and death await me here

  But don't you worry, shed not a tear

  For I built these walls a long time ago

  And of my despair I'll try not to show

  Alone in the darkness, can't you see?

  This loneliness is all caused by me

  An Angel Came To Me One Day

  An angel came to me one day

  In self pity I pushed him away

  He returned with a mighty host

  Too late for I was now a ghost

  Hold my hand he pleaded with me

  I bring caring hearts for thee

  Darkness ruled, I could not accept

  Leave me alone in hot tears I wept

  Self pity does my soul corrupt

  From agony does madness erupt

  Leave me alone, no love I deserve

  From an icy cold grave never swerve

  Few friends perhaps did truly care

  I cut them all out in deep despair

  Earned what I got 'tis really true

  By what right do I this end rue?

  Are You Real?

  Are you real?

  Do you feel?

  The emptiness?

  God won't bless

  A heart of stone

  That's all alone

  In this world

  Pain unfurled

  Hear the voice

  Just no choice

  Conception's Debt

  Lost in time, lost in space

  Never one of the human race

  Here today but gone tomorrow

  Never let there be any sorrow

  At conception each owes a death

  A moment comes the end of breath

  I hear it counts not how one dies

  How you live is what wins the prize

  If forever you've been dead inside

  Dying's nothing from which to hide