Read DIchotomies: Poetry From Bipolar Disorder Page 2
Conflagration
A hungry conflagration consuming all
Fueled by rage unheedful of heart's call
Seers the soul then scorches the mind
A violent tempest all reason does unbind
The flames without are birthed within
A tortured soul all there has ever been
Never to abide this worthless entity
Loathsome despite destroys serenity
Baseless indictments strewn around
Unjustly berating each one that's found
When truly self is the target execrated
Apologies pointlessly too far belated
Excoriation of others is forever unjust
When hatred of self is the source of lust
Shameful is the complete loss of control
The desire is to shred one's own soul
Cry Me No More Tears
Cry me no more tears
Tempt me no more laughs
Kill off all the feelings
Proclaim their epitaphs
Still all of the chaos
Nullify all the pain
Deaden all the nerves
Silence treacherous brain
Onward with gritted teeth
Steel walls to constrain
Keep the secret hidden
Never tell that I'm insane
Dark The Fate
Forward and back, round and round
Existence is spinning all around
Mind fractured, there and back
Emotions bleeding under attack
Soul withering from the assault
Dark the fate that's been wrought
Dawning
Dawning
Solar daybreak
Golden raybursts rising
Promise birthing anew aloft
Rebirth
Dialing It Up, Dialing It Down
Dialing it up, dialing it down
Dialing it all round and round
Way beyond the farthest stars
Ever onward, outward bound
An empty vacuum, no air around
To carry the piercing sound
Of those torturous screams
Dreams And Time
It seems
That dreams
Go on
And on
Forever
And ever
While time
sublime
drags out
no doubt
slowing
growing
creeping
sleeping
so slow
I know
Echoes Of Silence
The echoes of silence ring through the halls
Reverberating back and forth from the walls
At times the sound of silence is penetrating
Intense decibels start eardrums disintegrating
Intense waves of silence washing back and forth
Screams of silence insuring turmoil henceforth
A massive weight this killing lack of sound
Bouncing between the ears round and round
Until a bullet ventilates the top of the head
Loosing the silence and then you are dead
After the cessation of extreme violence
At the end you are left with - silence
End Of Days
Time drags on and on forever
Seconds become minutes and
Minutes become hours become days
When is the end of days?
Eternal Bed
Sinking, sinking into the night
As proceeds the dying of the light
Naught but I know where this trends
Ever more certain of where it ends
An icy cold grave calling me nigh
Pushing up daisies towards the sky
Agony reverberating inside my head
Only ends buried in my eternal bed
Eternity
Everything is cold, damp and gray
The oppressive dark a mere breath away
Restraining, drowning, dragging down
Viscously smothering every last sound
Tendrils choking, gagging, gasping for air
Dead eyes frozen in a thousand yard stare
Nullity, empty, no pain, not a single tear
The light, the dark all that's left to fear
Death fills all, not a single life's spark
Subsumed body and soul by the icy cold dark
Nothing is here and there's nothing ahead
Eternity is nothingness after you're dead
Evil Little Whispers
Evil little whispers between the ears
Pushing, pushing, trying for tears
Tiny nuggets all filled up with hate
Insistent assertions of doom by fate
Poison filled daggers cause such pain
Bending, twisting, warping the brain
Simple whispers so maliciously bent
A cacophonous silence of evil intent
Driving the mind beyond edge of madness
Agonized screams fill it with gladness
Keep pushing until the embrace of death
When at last has ceased every last breath
For Today I Will Experience Life
Dark depression stay away
Because today I want to play
I don't need no tears a dripping
Down my warm cheeks a slipping
In darkened bed I'll not stay
Because I want to live today
The fires of hell shall not have me
The light of life today I will see
Though in the shadows the demon hides
Today in my soul he never abides
Though he may have me on the morrow
Today he just will cause me no sorrow
For today I will experience life
And for now there'll be no strife
Few Understand
What can you do when all is moot?
When in the end you can't give a hoot?
Pointless it seems that all must be
Cannot best the beast inside of me
A most sly, cunning monster is he
All eternity he has to torture me
Patience of pure hatred is his power
While alone in vile darkness I cower
He knows me better then even do I
The best of me he twists to make me cry
Towards evil he turns all I hold dear
As I cringe before him in abject fear
Even the mercy of God he blots out
No path round his walls can I scout
His essence shear agony and fear
Stronger he grows with each single tear
Alone and isolated he keeps me caged
While I've weakened each year that I've aged
Few understand it's not death I seek
I just can't go on, I've grown so weak
Forever Memories
Memories spin round and round
Names of friends no longer found
To whom I gifted a piece of my heart
Gone but always of me they're a part
Pursuing their life here or wherever
I gave them my love, it is forever
Freedom Ahead
Freedom comes when all is lost
The prize paid at great cost
When nothing's left and no hope
No more need to try to cope
The chips lie where they fall
Heed at last the beastly call
Fewer and fewer every day
Care at all that I go away
With a whisper comes the end
Never more to this world offend
Heart Shredded By Razors Of Tears
Heart shredded by razors of tears
Rivers of dark crimson running down
In jagged streaks of pain drowning
Agonized screams of piercing sound
The icy darkness a crushing wei
ght
Despair torments the hopeless soul
Satan dancing a victorious wild jig
Sonorously mournful the bells all toll
Inside a black hole devours the light
Winter's death is now the only season
Any breath of hope gone forever more
Why suffer on when there is no reason?
Friends
The darkness is deep
But you have no fear
Because you know
They will be here
When you're drowning in pain
And you're full of despair
You won't be alone
As long as they're there
When you stumble and fall
Just can't hold yourself up
They will be there to hold you
While you drink from this cup
When you feel so lost
And ever so alone
They'll be there to tell you
You've no need to atone
Who are these people
So wonderful and true
That will never, ever
Abandon you?
They're the best in the world
Right to it's ends
These people who save you
They are your friends
Gentle Raindrops
Gentle raindrops falling down
Tears from heaven now abound
Even God cries sometimes...
Haiku - Rejection
The deformed petal
Rejected falls to the earth
Eternally alone
Haiku - Conflict
Animal nature
Resents higher ideals
Who is the victor?
Have You Ever?
Have you ever needed to call out
To the world 'Help me please'?
Only to know that it's not
something you do with ease
Have you ever looked in the mirror
And seen a stranger staring back?
The face looks familiar
But your soul the eyes do lack
Have you ever longed to cry out
To the world 'Do you care? '
Ready to tell it all
Your soul to lay bare
Have you ever walked that line
Between sane and totally insane?
You stop and then you realize
No one cares just the same
Have you ever been to the edge,
just to stand there and stare?
Longing to take the plunge,
Too scared to chance the dare
Have you ever stood inside
A world so full of light?
yet inside you it's so dark
You think you've lost your sight.
Have you ever hated it all
And longed for it to end?
The only thing left to do
Is for you to decide when?
Have you ever walked that line
Between sane and totally insane?
You know it soon has to end
To stop this awful pain
Have you ever had that curtain
Pulled back to show the light.
Suddenly the shadow's in retreat
And the world's revealed, so bright
Have you ever stood there stunned
By all the life that you surrounds.
Filled with peace and joy,
Love of life in you abounds
Have you ever felt that pain
you've lived with all your life
take a leave of absence,
to cause you no more strife
Have you ever walked that line
Between sane and totally insane?
But now it's lost the power
to cause you so much pain
Have you ever watched the sun
As it peeks out of clouds so dark.
The halo that surrounds it
Ignites life's mighty spark
Have you ever felt such peace
that to your eyes it brings tears,
Filled with all the wonder
Of vanquishing your fears
Have you ever met an angel,
Sent by God when you're in need
To smash away the darkness,
Victory is guaranteed
Have you ever walked that line
Between sane and totally insane?
The angel strides before you,
lights the way towards the sane
Have you ever?
Heaven Can Wait
Heaven would be hell without you
Songs of angels shaded in blue
Eternal sunlight dimmed to gray
Endless peace shredded in dismay
When comes to pass my final date
We go together or heaven can wait
Human Family - Butterfly Cinquain
Journey
Beyond the me
To union, let it be
Brother, sister, future you see?
The we
Each of us a leaf on the tree
Tied in real unity
Now can you see?
Family
High Atop A Crumbling Peak
High atop a crumbling peak
Whipped by driven gales
Eager to hurl me off
Up above a gray, turbulent sky
Writhes with the beat of madness
Split asunder in violent cracks
Jagged flashes rend tumultuous clouds
Birthing ionized radicals
And crushing sonic booms
Pounding frozen hydrogen dioxide
Predatory in it's focused intent
Single mindedly bent upon destruction
Hungry in it's need to smash me down
On one side the one time haven
A turbulent, throbbing, seething mass
Inundates the defensive levees
Smashing them with driven madness
All succor lost to passing eons
Now suppurates in twisted chaos
The other side an abysmal pit
Infinite immensity raging with hate
A malevolent icy cold darkness
Rife with turbulent hell fire
A sea of conflagrant teeth
Ravenously needful to burn and shred
Heart, soul and mind to eradicate
Precarious atop the vanishing peak
The battered protective bubble stressed
By the endless eons of savage assault
Depleted beyond exhaustion's boundary
Degraded by spider webbed fractures
Still holds against unrelenting onslaught
How much more can it's integrity take?
How long can it continue to endure?
At what point comes the final rupture?
That presages the end of all that's me?
Homeless Birds
The little birds fly round and round
Looking for a home that can't be found
Chirping and twittering, so many sounds
Looking for the joy that in life abounds
It's here somewhere they know in their heart
If only I could help them with that part
Lost little birds without any home
Doomed forever to just simply roam
Lest help from someone they can find
But to that hope they just cannot bind
Still hope they have never given up
'tis why they fly down then they fly up
For somewhere there must be a place they belong
So they will keep circling for ever, so long
Their song rings out and calls to my ears
They battle onward despite all their fears
I pledge them my life if I can only but help
More promise I've made then since I was a whelp
For their flight is my own, I've flown it before
When I thought that all hope had flown out th
e door
Hope
Hope is a wondrous magical thing
Take it away and with it goes everything
All light, all happiness, all peace
It all goes away
But preserve it and you preserve everything
You can withstand anything,
Stand up to the worst that life throws at you
Hold on when everything goes against you
You can withstand the pain of loss
And the hell of love lost
The worst the enemy can throw
Is but a pittance to the power of hope
It's an amazing creature
It survives when all else is lost
It needs but a single spark
to preserve your life and sanity
It needs so little to survive
A mere possibility is all it requires
It doesn't need to be fed
It survives on it's own
You can tell it to end
but until every possibility
is exhausted
It will never die
It never gives up,