trembling she had given me. And a longing to seeChristian took possession of me; a sick, crying thirst for thesight, if it were only for a minute; the impatient agony ofself-will. Necessity's bands and manacles put it down after atime.
The next day was Sunday. I went to church alone, and with myusual average of calm. But I heard some one say to hisneighbour, that there was a great battle going forward - withwhat promise nobody knew. The words sent me home with a sortof half breath. I avoided Mrs. Sandford, took no dinner; andin the afternoon feverishly crept out to church again. The airseemed to me full of bodings. Yet I heard nothing. I sawpeople whisper each other, and nod; I thought good news wasgiven and received, and I breathed a little easier. It was nottill I was coming out from the service that any one spoke tome. I found myself then near a gentleman whom we knew.
"Glorious news, Miss Randolph!" he half whispered. "GeneralScott will dine with a good appetite to-day."
"What is the news"
"Oh, a great victory! We have not got the details yet, ofcourse; but it seems all is going right."
"It _seems_ going right."
"Yes. You know we have not details yet. There's been heavyfighting, though."
"Is it a general engagement?"
"Oh, yes! All in that could be in. And some that had nobusiness to be in. They say, Johnston has reinforcedBeauregard; but they are totally routed, I believe. So it issaid."
"Who says it?"
"The accounts from the battlefield, I presume. They are comingin all the time. The Nation has triumphed. I congratulate you.I know you are loyal. Mrs. Sand- ford will be rejoiced. Goodafternoon."
It was too sudden, too soon, and too confused. I could notbreathe freely yet. Johnston reinforced Beauregard? That wasjust what Patterson was expected to prevent; ought to haveprevented. Then, probably, Patterson had done no fighting? Iwas pondering, when I suddenly found Major Fairbairn besideme. He belonged with the troops left to guard Washington.
"Oh, Major," said I, "what is the news?"
"Firing down in Virginia, -" said the major, laconically.
"Is it true, that a battle has been won by McDowell?"
"I wish it were," said he; "but in general it is safe not tospeak of a fight till it is over."
"Then it is not over?"
"I have not heard that it is."
"But they tell me a fight has been won."
"They tell every conceivable thing in war-time," said themajor. "Don't you know that? It is safe to believe nothing."
"Has Johnston joined Beauregard?"
"I am afraid he has. The advices seem to put that beyonddisbelief."
"You are _afraid!_ Then the news means nothing to you; nothinggood, I mean?"
"The rumours mean nothing to me," said the major, smiling."The reliable news is really, so far, not much. It is certainthere is a battle going on, Miss Randolph, and a battle alongthe whole line. And it is certain that Patterson had orders tofollow up Johnston, and keep him from troubling us. And I amafraid it is also certain that he has not done it - confoundhim! Excuse me; but a man who don't obey orders deserves tohave people swear at him, Miss Randolph."
I left the major at a corner, and before I got home, anotheracquaintance informed me that the victory was undoubted,though severely purchased, and that the city was in a state ofexultation. I did not know what to think. I said as little aspossible to Mrs. Sandford; but later in the evening Dr.Barnard came with the details of the day, and the addedintelligence that since seven o'clock the firing hadrecommenced.
"What for? if the victory is sure?" said Mrs. Sandford; and Iwent to my room feeling that it was not sure. Nevertheless Islept that night. I cannot tell why, or how. Whether it weremost akin to weariness or despair, I slept, and quietly, andthe whole night through. But I know very well that I awakedwith a full sense that it was not to quietness nor peace. Itook up my burden as I got out of bed.
My room was at the back of the house. Consequently I heard andsaw nothing of the outer world till I came down to thebreakfast-room. Nobody was there yet, and I went to thewindow. The first thing I saw then made my heart stand still.A group was gathered just before the window, on the sidewalk.In the midst a soldier, one of a gay Zouave regiment, not atall gay now, stood talking to a little crowd of listeners;talking in a pouring rain, which nobody seemed to care about.He was wet; his bright uniform was stained and draggled; hehad no musket; and his tasseled cap sat on a head which inevery line and movement expressed defeat and disgrace. So theyall listened who stood around; I read it as well as if I hadheard the words they were hearing. I saw dejection, profoundsorrow, absorbed attention, utter forgetfulness of presentbodily discomfort. I noticed that one man who carried anumbrella had put it down, and stood listening in the rain.Occasionally the soldier raised his arm to eke out his wordswith a gesture; and then moved a step as if to go on, but theyclosed around him again and staid him with eager questions orurgings. I was very near throwing up the sash to ask what itall was; and then I thought, what matter! I should know soonenough, But I could not move from the window; and Mrs.Sandford entering and seeing me there came and looked over myshoulder. I did not know it, till I heard her -
"Good Heavens! - Daisy, my dear, what is the matter?"
"We shall hear presently," I said, turning away from thewindow.
"But what is it?" - And Mrs. Sandford first took my place, andthen did what I had been tempted to do; - threw up the sash.
"What is the matter?" she said. "Is there news. Men, is therenews?"
I do not know what was answered; I did not hear; I had goneinto the middle of the room; but Mrs. Sanford closed thewindow presently and came to me, looking even pale. A rarething for her.
"Daisy, there is trouble," she said.
"Yes, -" I answered.
"How do you know? They say - they say, the army is all cut topieces!"
I could not speak about it. We knew nothing yet; but Mrs.Sandford went on -
"He says, everybody is killed. All routed and destroyed, thearmy is. Can it be possible?"
I thought it was very possible: I never had doubted but thatthe Southerners - as a body - were the best fighters. But Isaid nothing; while Mrs. Sandford poured out sorrows and fearsand speculations in a breath. I could have smiled, but that Icould not have smiled. We stood still, looking at each other,nobody remembering breakfast. I was thinking, if the cause waslost, where would Mr. Thorold be then. And I ceased to hearMrs. Sandford.
"But Daisy!" she said suddenly - "the other army -Beauregard's - they will be here directly to take Washington,if all this is true; and it must be true; or that soldierwould not have been out there in the rain. They will be cominghere directly, Daisy. And, bless me! how wicked I am! You arestanding there, patient and pale, and you have had nobreakfast. Come here and let me give you some coffee. Grantsaid he would be down to dinner perhaps; and how angry hewould be."
We drank cups of coffee, but I do not think either of us brokebread.
That was a weary day. All the day long new groups were formingand dispersing in the street, telling and talking over thenews; groups of all sorts. Soldiers discoursing to audienceslike the one in the morning; knots of officers; twos andthrees of business men; debating, inquiring, discussing; allunder the dark rain, all with downcast faces and dispiritedbearing. Late in the day Major Fairbairn called. He somewhatreassured us. The carnage was not so great; the loss not sotremendous, as we had at first been told; the damage done notso absolutely overwhelming.
"Then you do not think Beauregard will come and takeWashington?" Mrs. Sandford asked.
"I don't know!" the major said, with a smile. "He must bequick about it, or it will be too late."
"But is this a final settling of the question, MajorFairbairn?" I inquired. "That is what I want to know."
"We have been whipped," he said, looking at me.
"Yes, I know; but the North - will they take this as asettlement of the question?"
"The North!" echoed the Major. "Will they give up, you mean?Not just
yet! The Government does not feel like it. Do you?"
"I am so ignorant -" I answered.
"You must be, - pardon my saying so. Not at all. The sting ofthe whip will make us move faster. Orders are issued alreadyfor the reinforcement and reorganisation of the army. GeneralMcClellan is to take command here; and we will get things upona new basis."
"Is McClellan the man we want?" Mrs. Sandford inquired.
"I cannot say. If he is not, we will wait for another."
"You are very cool, Major Fairbairn!" said the lady.
"It is the best plan, in July."
"But it is very hard to keep cool."
The major smiled and