will be frightened."
"Will the doctor come after you?"
"Oh, no, he is sick; but Christian, I must go home."
He turned and went with me, changing his tone, and making avariety of tender inquiries about my situation and my doings.They were something new; they were so tender of me, sothoughtful of my welfare, so protecting in their inquisitivecare; and moreover they were the inquiries of one who had aright to know all about me. Something entirely new to myexperience; my mother's care was never so sympathetic; myfather's never so fond; even my guardian's was never sostrict. Dr. Sandford to be sure had no right to make his carelike this. I did not know that Mr. Thorold had; but I found itwas indisputable. And in proportion it was delightful. We hada slow, very busy walk and talk until within a few doors of myWashington home; there we parted, with a long hand clasp, andthe promise on my part that Mr. Thorold should find me at thesame hour and place as to-day on the next evening.
Nobody was looking for me, and I gained my room in safety. Iwas very happy, yet not all happy; for the first use I made ofmy solitude, after getting rid of my bonnet and mantilla, wasto sit down and cry. I asked myself the reason, for I did notlike to be in the dark about my own feelings; this time theywere in a good deal of confusion.
As I look back, I think the uppermost thing was my happiness;this new, delicate, strange joy which had come into my lifeand which I had never tasted so fully or known the flavour ofit so intimately as this evening. Looks and tones, and littlenameless things of manner telling almost more yet, came backto me in a small crowd and overwhelmed me with theirtestimony. Affection, and tenderness, and pleasure; andsomething apart from these, an inexplicable assuming of me anddelight in me as so assumed; they found me or made me veryweak to-night. What was the matter? I believe it was, first,this happiness; and next, the doubt that rested over it andthe certainty that I must leave it. Certainly my weeping washearty enough to answer to all three causes. It was a veryunaccustomed indulgence to me; or not an indulgence at all,for I was not fond of tears; but it did act as a relief. Iwashed away some of my trouble in my tears; the happinesssprung to the surface; and then I could almost weep for joyand thankfulness that I was so happy. Even if the grounds ofmy happiness were precarious, I had trusted God all my lifewith all I cared for; could I not trust Him still? My tearsstopped; and I believe one or two smiles could not be checkedas I remembered some look or word of Mr. Thorold's.
I was to see him the next evening; and it would behove me tolose no time in telling him all the various matters I hadwished him to understand. It seemed to me there was somethingto reconsider in my proposed communications. I had to tell himthat our correspondence must be stopped. Would he agree tothat? I had thought he would agree, and must, to anything Idesired. To-night assured me that he had a will in the mattertoo, and that his will was strong. Further, it assured me thathe had a right; and knew it. Yet it was impossible that weshould write to each other without my parents' leave; andimpossible that we should gain the leave. Mr. Thorold wouldhave to see the matter as I looked at it; but a doubt cameover me that to make him do so might prove difficult. That wasone thing. Then about my not being an heiress. I suddenlyfound a great dislike in myself to speak to him on thesubject. There was no doubt that it would be right to tell himwhat I had thought to tell him; wrong not to do it; the rightand the wrong were settled; my willingness was not. A littleinner consciousness that Mr. Thorold would relish any handlingof the matter that savoured of the practical, and wouldimprove it for his own ends, made my cheek hot. Yet I musttell him. The thing stood, with only an addition ofdisagreeableness. And what chance should I have, in thestreet?
I meditated a good while, before there suddenly started intomy mind a third subject upon which I had meant to take actionwith Mr. Thorold. I had thought to qualify a little theliberty he had assumed upon our first betrothal; to keep at asomewhat more reserved distance, and make him. Could I? WasMr. Thorold under my management? He seemed to take me underhis. I pondered, but between laughing and rebellion I couldmake nothing of the subject. Only, I resolved, ifcircumstances gave me any chance, to act on my proposedsystem.
The next day was swallowed up in like thoughts. I tried toarrange my subjects and fix upon one to begin with; but it wasa vain effort. I knew that as soon as I began to get ready formy walk. Things must come as they would. And my cross tides ofpurpose resolved themselves into one long swell of joy, when Idiscerned the figure I was looking for, waiting for me onPennsylvania avenue; too soon, for it was near the place wherewe parted the night before.
"This is very dangerous -" I said, as we began to stroll upthe avenue.
"What?" said Mr. Thorold, looking down at me with his eyes asfull of mischief as ever.
"It is so light yet, and you come so near the house."
"You walk with other people, don't you?"
"I am not afraid of the other people."
"Are you afraid of me?" said he smiling; and then growinggrave, "We may have only a few times, Daisy; let us make themost of them."
How could I start anything after that. I was mute; and Mr.Thorold began upon a new theme.
"Daisy, how long have you been in Washington?"
"Christian, I _could_ not let you know. I was always hoping tosee you somewhere."
"Sounds as if you felt guilty," he said. "Confess, Daisy; youlook as if you were afraid I would be angry. I will not bevery hard with you."
I was afraid; and he was angry, when I told him. His faceflushed and his eye changed, and turned away from me.
"Christian," I said, "I was very unwilling that Dr. Sandfordshould know anything about it; that was my reason. If I hadwritten to you, you know you would have come straight to whereI was; and the risk was too great."
"What risk?" he said. "I might have been ordered away fromWashington; and then we might never have met."
"Are you vexed?" I said gently.
"You have wronged me, Daisy."
It gave me, I do not know whether more pain or pleasure, theserious grave displeasure his manner testified. Neither painnor pleasure was very easy to express; but pain pressed thehardest.
"I have been looking for the chance of seeing you; looking thewhole time," I said. "Everywhere, it was the one thing I wasintent upon."
"Daisy, it might have been lost altogether. And how many dayshave been lost!"
I was silent now; and we walked some steps together withoutanything more. But the next words were with a return to hisusual clear voice.
"Daisy, you must not be afraid of anything."
"How can I help it?" I asked.
"Help it? - but have _I_ brought those tears into your eyes?"
It was almost worth while to have offended him, to hear thetone of those words. I could not speak.
"I see you are not very angry with me," he said; "but I amwith myself. Daisy, my Daisy, you must not be so fearful ofunknown dangers."
"I think I have been fearful of them all my life," I answered."Perhaps it is my fault."
And with unspeakable joy I recognised the truth, that at lastmy life was anchored to one from whom I need neither fear nordisguise anything.
"To fear them is often to bring them." he added.
"I do not think it will, in my case," I said. "But, if Dr.Sandford had known you were coming to see me, he might havecarried me off from Washington, just as he did from West Pointlast year."
"From West Point?" said Mr. Thorold, his eyes making abrilliant commentary on my words; - "Did he carry you awayfrom West Point for any such reason? Is he afraid of me?"
"He would be afraid of anybody," I said in some confusion, forMr. Thorold's eyes were dancing with mischief and pleasure; -"I do not know - of course I do not know what he was afraidof; but I know how it _would_ be."
Mr. Thorold's answer was to take my hand and softly draw itthrough his own arm. I did not like it; I was fearful of beingseen to walk so; yet the assuming of me was done in a mannerthat I could not resist nor contravene. I knew how Christian'seyes fell upon me; I
dared not meet them.
"Is the doctor jealous of you, Daisy?" he whispered laughing.I did not find an answer immediately.
"Does he _dare?_" Mr. Thorold said in a different tone.
"No, no. Christian, how imperious you are!"
"Yes," he said; "I will be so where you are concerned. What doyou mean, Daisy? or what does he mean?"
"He is my guardian, you know," I said; "and he has sharp eyes;and he is careful of me."
"_Very_ careful?" said Mr. Thorold, laughing and pressing myarm. "Daisy, _I_ am your guardian while you are in Washington. Iwish I had a right to say that you shall have nothing more todo with Dr. Sandford. But for the present I must mind