“If I didn’t know any better,” he teased, “I’d think you were repulsed by me.”
“Only if I have to think of you sexually.”
I heaved, for good measure, and Gavin laughed. He didn’t need me to tell him how good looking he was because I was sure he knew it. I just couldn’t ever imagine him in a sexual way; I couldn’t do it with any of the Slater brothers either. Well, except one of those brothers.
“I have somethin’ to tell you.”
Gavin eyed me. “You aren’t shaggin’ Harley or JJ ... are you?”
I slapped his arm as he laughed at me.
“Be serious.”
“Okay.” He chuckled. “Proceed.”
“I’ve two things to tell you, but I’ll start with the lighter one.” I exhaled a breath. “Damien kissed me yesterday in the back room of the garage before he and Dante fought, and I kissed ’im back.”
Gavin whistled. “Did that fuck your head up more than it already was?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “When we spoke a little last night, he said he’d wait for me to decide if I want to try bein’ with ’im, and of course, me mind thinks of everythin’ that happened between us and automatically shuts it down because I’m scared of history repeatin’ itself. But then I spoke to Bronagh, and she said Damien would go as slow as I needed.”
“You’d have to go slow,” Gavin pressed. “You don’t know each other at this point in your lives. People can change in six years for the better or for the worse. Startin’ fresh makes sense.”
I nodded in agreement. “It doesn’t make me any less scared, though.”
Gavin patted my leg. “What’s meant to be will be.”
“Aideen said that to me yesterday!”
“Now I know where I got that sayin’ from then.” He chuckled. “What’s the second thing you wanted to tell me?”
My ma flashed across my mind, and I swallowed. I clasped my hands together on my lap and focused my breathing.
“Me ma is sick.”
Gavin froze, his eyes widening ever so slightly. “Sick?”
“Really sick.”
His lips parted but no words or sounds escaped.
“Breast cancer,” I managed to say around the lump in my throat. “It’s in the early stages.”
“Bear,” Gavin said and reached for me, pulling me into a hug.
I took deep breaths to keep from crying all over him.
“She starts treatment soon,” I said, my voice muffled. “I don’t know anythin’ more than that, but when I go see ’er tomorrow, I’m askin’ for information on everythin’ and what the course of action is.”
Gavin kept his arm around my shoulder. “I’m so sorry that she is goin’ through this.”
“Me too, bud.”
“And your da,” Gavin growled. “The piece of shite.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” I said, and then filled him in on the conversation I had with my da over his affair after the cancer bombshell was dropped on me.
“What a fuckin’ arsehole!” Gavin exclaimed when I finished speaking.
“I know,” I agreed, “but he is right. We need me ma to focus on beatin’ ’er cancer. If she knew he cheated ... I don’t want to think of how she’d react.”
“That’s fucked up, Alannah.”
“I know.”
Gavin removed his arm from my shoulder and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I thought I was in a fucked-up situation, but you’ve taken the cake, babe.”
I smiled at him. “Your situation ends with a little baby, though.”
“A baby,” he repeated in awe. “I can’t believe I’m goin’ to have a baby.”
“When are you goin’ to tell your family?”
“No clue,” he answered. “I need to absorb it first.”
I stilled when Gavin looked at me, his gaze hard.
“Don’t tell Bronagh.”
My mouth dropped open.
“No,” Gavin warned before I could object. “She’ll let it slip to Nico, and he’ll tell Kane, and Kane will tell Aideen, and shite will kick off.”
I scratched my neck. “Bronagh and I don’t keep secrets from each other, though. Ye’know that.”
“It’s only for a little while,” Gavin assured me. “Just until I get me ducks in a row and get the courage to tell them.”
I tilted my head back and sighed. “Fine.”
“I love you, bear.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, hugging him back when he pulled me into his embrace. “I love your dumbarse, too.”
When Gavin went home after we spoke, I was so drained from the day’s events that I didn’t go back to Bronagh’s house as I had initially intended to. I had planned to send her a text and tell her I’d swing by the next day instead, but I couldn’t find my phone. I thought of the last time I had it: after I spoke to Gavin and drove home from Bronagh’s house. When I realised where it was, I groaned in annoyance.
I left my apartment and made my way to the lobby of the building, waving at Joseph, the night guard as I passed by. When I retrieved my phone from my car and locked it, I heard a soft cry. A cry that was dangerously close to that of a baby. With my heart pounding, and all my senses on high alert, I spun around, and squinted my eyes, hoping it’d help me see better.
It didn’t.
I jumped when I heard the cry again, and walked briskly in the direction it came from. All sorts of scenarios were flooding through my mind. I had seen on the news plenty of times about people abandoning newborn babies and leaving them out in the open with no protection. I prayed to God that wasn’t the case, but when I came across a cardboard box in-between two parked cars, my entire body tensed, and I just about died on the spot. I crept forward, and when I found the courage to peek inside the box, I nearly deflated with relief when I saw it wasn’t a baby … but then sympathy flooded me when I realised what I’d stumbled upon.
Someone had abandoned a helpless, tiny kitten.
“Oh, baby,” I uttered, my hands clutched to my chest.
When the kitten cried again, I was horrified to discover how much it sounded like an infant. The poor thing looked terrified, so I carefully reached into the box and picked it up. I held it against my chest, wincing when its nails dug into my skin as it held on for dear life. I hurried back into my apartment building, walking at an angle towards the elevator so Joseph couldn’t see the kitten. There was a strict no animal policy in the building, but I couldn’t leave the kitten out in the cold to fend for itself.
I simply couldn’t.
When I made it up to my apartment, I grabbed a smaller throwover blanket from my settee and wrapped the kitten inside it. I set it down on the settee and stepped away. I was relieved to see the kitten didn’t try to escape; it simply stayed snuggled inside the safety and warmth of the blanket. I got out my phone and phoned Alec. He worked in an animal shelter and was the only person I could think of to call.
“Alannah,” he answered on the fifth ring. “Is everything okay?”
I rarely called him, and it was closing in on eight p.m., so he probably figured something was up.
“Kind of,” I answered. “I found a kitten.”
“You found a kitten?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “Some bastard left it in a cardboard box in the car park of me buildin’.”
“Is it alive?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, though he couldn’t see the action.
“Do you want me to come and get it?” he questioned. “I can keep it and bring it to the shelter tomorrow.”
I paused. When I rang Alec, it was for help for the kitten, but at that moment, I realised I had only called him for advice. I didn’t want him to take the kitten. I wasn’t sure when I made the decision, but I wanted to keep the kitten myself.
“No,” I answered. “I’m keepin’ it.”
Alec was silent.
“What?” I pressed. “What’re you all quiet for?”
Alec was never quiet, so his silence spoke v
olumes.
“You … you aren’t very good at taking care of animals.”
My lips parted in outrage. “I am too!”
“You step on Storm a lot when you come over to our house, and he is bigger than you. I still don’t understand how you don’t see him.”
I would never admit it to my friends, but my eyesight wasn’t the best, and with each passing year, it was obvious to me that I was going to have to bite the bullet and make an eye test appointment to get the glasses I knew I needed. It didn’t help that I didn’t exactly watch where I was walking when I was distracted either.
“I don’t watch where I place me feet, so feckin’ sue me.”
“Tyson growls at you whenever he sees you because you stepped on him one too many times. He just watches you whenever you’re around him now.”
That bloody dog couldn’t forgive and forget like Storm could.
“Listen,” I stated, “every time it happened was a total accident.”
Alec laughed.
“I’m keepin’ the kitten, and that’s that,” I said with a huff. “Can you just tell me what I need to buy? I’m clueless.”
“I can do you one better,” he chirped. “I can go to Maxi Zoo before it closes and bring what you need to you since you shouldn’t leave the kitten alone.”
My heart warmed, and my shoulders sagged with relief.
“Thank you, Alec.” I gushed. “I don’t know how old it is until I bring it to a vet tomorrow, but it looks really young, so get kitten food. Bring the receipt when you come over, and I’ll pay you back when you get ’ere.”
After we hung up, I went and sat next to my new roommate, peeking into the blanket. The cat’s fur was completely white, and from what I could see, it had one green eye and one blue eye.
“You’re so gorgeous,” I cooed.
The cat didn’t move a muscle, so I carefully picked up the blanket and cuddled it against my chest. When the kitten eventually wriggled around, I reached in and picked it up. Quickly, I checked between its legs and discovered the kitten was a girl. I put her back inside the blanket and let her get used to whatever it was that she was sniffing and scratching.
“What, baby?” I asked when she began meowing and didn’t stop.
I wondered if she was hungry, and then I wondered how old she was once more.
“You should have a cool name,” I said when the kitten popped her head out of the blanket and stared at me, then looked around the room. “Oh, what about Nala? She was a cool lioness in The Lion King.”
The kitten looked back at me and stared at me, unblinking.
“I’m takin’ your silence as a no.”
I pondered on a couple of unique names that sounded cool in my head, but when I said them out loud, none of them suited her. Her bored expression told me they all sucked, too. I switched on the television and selected my YouTube app. I scrolled through the videos, and when one of Barbra Streisand’s music videos was suggested, I stared at her name, then looked down at the kitten.
“What about Barbara?”
The kitten meowed as if replying to me. I stared at her, took the meow as a resounding yes, then chuckled. My ma’s middle name was Barbara, so I was sticking with that spelling because I knew she’d get a kick out of it.
“Barbara, it is.”
I picked up my phone when it began to vibrate and answered it without looking at the screen.
“Alec said you found a kitten.”
I smiled. “Hey, Bee.”
“Where did you find a kitten?” She continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “I saw Alec get into his car when I was puttin’ Branna’s wheelie bin out. He said you found a kitten, and he was goin’ to get you some stuff for it.”
I filled her in on when, where, and how I found the kitten, and she grunted. “Evil bastard whoever left it.”
“Her.”
Bronagh snorted. “Have you named ’er?”
“Yup.”
“Let’s hear it.”
I grinned. “Barbara.”
Like I knew she would, Bronagh burst into laughter.
“I’m not the least bit surprised,” she said, amused. “If you said a trendy name, I wouldn’t have believed you.”
“What’s funny?” I heard Nico ask in the background.
“Alannah found a kitten, and she called ‘er Barbara.”
I smiled when he laughed and said, “I love that woman.”
Bronagh and I chatted for a while, and luckily, she didn’t mention anything about Gavin, which I secretly thanked God for. I was hoping that Alec would keep my phone call with Gavin to himself because if Bronagh confronted me about it, I was scared I would break my promise to Gavin and tell her everything about him becoming a father.
We had just hung up when my apartment buzzer rang. I walked over to the door and pressed the button for Alec to enter the building. I didn’t glance at the monitor to make sure it was him because Barbara was meowing like a banshee. When I eventually turned, and looked at the monitor, the entryway was empty, so I figured Alec had already entered the building. I unlocked my door for him, and went back over to the settee and gently stroked Barbara. She moved away from me when my hand initially touched her, then she seemed to relax and didn’t mind me scratching her ears.
My doorbell rang, so I shouted, “It’s open.”
I continued to rub Barbara, and when she moved back into the safety of the blanket, I turned to greet Alec and help him with the items he brought for me. Only it wasn’t Alec in my apartment, it was Damien, and he had two large carrier bags in his hands. I paused and stared at him with my lips parted in surprise.
What is he doing here?
“Where should I put these?”
I didn’t know what was in the bags, but I managed to say, “Kitchen, please.”
He went into the kitchen without a word, leaving me to stare after him. When he returned, he closed the front door and came into the sitting room, eyeing the blanket beside me.
“So, you found a cat?”
I nodded dumbly. “She was in a box between two cars in the car park, and I decided that we could keep one another company.”
“You rescued her,” Damien concluded.
“I guess so.”
“That’s admirable.”
Blood made its way to my cheeks at his praise.
“Where is Alec?” I asked, changing the subject.
“He called me and said he needed help getting some things for you, then he dropped me off with all the stuff.” He lifted his hand and scratched his neck. “I thought we could have that talk you mentioned earlier at Dominic’s place.”
My heart thrummed in my chest when I realised I had completely forgotten about asking him that. When Gavin phoned me, everything took a back seat in my mind, and I focused on my friend and his problem.
“O-okay.”
Damien’s eyes dropped to the blanket when it moved. “Did you name it?”
“Her.”
His lips twitched. “Sorry. Did you name her?”
“I picked Barbara.”
The smile that stretched across Damien’s face was transfixing.
“Does it suit her?”
“It does … I probably should have called her snowflake, like I call you.”
“Why?”
“She’s white all over, just like your hair.”
I reached into the blanket and removed Barbara, tugging the blanket away from her paws as the fabric got snagged on her nails. I held her on my chest, careful to place her slowly against me so her nails didn’t prick me like the needles they clearly were.
“Cool eyes,” Damien murmured as he leaned closer to get a look at her. “One blue and one green.”
I stilled as he hovered close by without any indication that he would move.
I blurted, “You’re makin’ me nervous.”
“By being here?”
I bobbed my head.
“You said you wanted to talk to me.”
“I-I d
o,” I stammered. “I’m just … just …”
“Scared?” he finished.
I exhaled a deep breath. “Immensely.”
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, frowning. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
That was exactly why I was nervous—because he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, he made me feel … whole.
“Would you believe me if I said no?”
Damien’s lips parted with surprise, but nothing came out.
“Sit down,” I said to him. “It’s high time that I get this off me chest.”
Damien sat down on the settee across from me, and when he rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together, I knew he was as nervous as I felt, which allowed me to relax a little. I put the kitten back into the blanket on the settee next to me just to busy myself for a second or so. When I looked back at Damien, I spent a moment taking him in.
He was so handsome; it seemed unfair that someone could be born that beautiful. His hair, as always, was perfectly styled. It was tightly trimmed on the sides with a sick fade blending to his neck. His hair was thick; I knew from experience of touching it. It had a little length to it, not that anyone would know because he used hair gel and a hair dryer to get that perfect blown back comb over taper.
I focused on his face, his clear skin, and the stubble that had clearly grown a little from his last shave. His eyebrows had a tinge of darkness to them. They were light but nowhere near as light as his hair, which made sense to me. My hair was black, but my brows were naturally light brown. Unlike my brows, Damien’s were thick and nicely shaped. No doubt thanks to Bronagh getting her hands on them. His lashes were light and long, and they framed his stunning grey eyes that seemed to penetrate my very soul with one glance.
I knew every curve of his face, every flick of his hair, and every possible way he could smile. I saw him every single night in my dreams. I could draw him from memory alone … I had done so enough times. This man was under my skin and had been for a long time. This conversation between us was overdue, and I could only hope I could do it justice and give him the respect he deserved.
“I want to try.”
Damien tilted his head. “Try what?”
What’s meant to be will be.
I exhaled a breath. “I want to try bein’ with you … if you’ll have me, that is.”