"Maddy!"
An empty house. So, she'd gone to tell Pappy. But how? Her punctured bike lay in the garage and she hated walking. One look around and I realised she'd taken...the space hopper.
I climbed into the car and sped down the road towards Pappy's. Over ten kilometres on a space hopper? I passed by a few cars going the other way until I spotted something ahead. I couldn't believe my eyes. Some way in front, a long-haired Maddy bounded along on a red sphere of rubber.
I stopped the car on the hard shoulder and watched her go, making distance along the almost empty highway wearing only her morning tights and slippers, the urge to tell stronger than the need to dress. I gave up the chase, she deserved it.
Weekend Quickie 23 - Artistic Ideal
(image - artist's studio, element - newborn baby, emotion - fascination)
Just any nude was no longer enough. The more she concentrated on her subjects, the more she noticed the imbalance of colours, blemishes, the asymmetry and texture of skin and bone. Subjects came and went, each more grotesque than the ones before. Her fascination for perfection and absolute beauty finally drew her closer to her own artistic ideal. She no longer cared for society's norms or expectations, her subjects growing younger and younger, her reputation preceding her. Some were plucked from the street, while others found her.
This time, however, she was sure she'd found perfection. With every stroke of the brush her canvas came to life, the smooth texture, the facial symmetry and glowing colours, the roundness of...
"This is the Police! Open the door!"
The shout shook her from her dream.
"Open the door! Please!" screamed a frightened woman.
She paused and looked over at her subject. A newborn baby girl was sitting quite still on the background setting of a long flowing piece of white silk.
"Madam! Please open the door or we shall have to force our way in!"
She dropped her palette, the paints mingling together on the wooden floor.
"Oh, what have I done..."
Killing Brian - Cannibalising Brian (excerpt from 'How to')
“What do we do now? Go explain what happened to the chief?”
“No, it’s best if we keep it quiet for now. We still have some meat left, see?”
“Oh, yes.”
They both went over to the cauldron, and saw Brian happily splashing in the soup, pouring vegetables over himself.
“Hello boys! Oh, I’m so happy I could be a part of this! It’s wonderful to know that my death will be of use to someone else’s nourishment, and in such a great soup! Oh, if only my grandchildren could see….me…”
His last few words were lost in a mass of bubbles as Brian Rogers was pushed under the surface of the soup with two very large poles.
Relay Event T1 (Part 10)
(word given - razored, 100 words limit)
Was this one weakness, one fact, perchance, my inch of opportunity, my path to destiny? Was this one flaw in the dragon’s mantle my chance to right the wrongs which my King hath done? With all the courage and experience of my many years in this one foolish life, I stood tall, sword erect, and called to the dragon.
“Hathore, if that may be your name! Hathore, dragon among dragons, skillful in smelling abusers of women, I call upon you today to hear me! Hear me, I COMMAND you!” The tongue, once slithering along its razored claws, halted, then disappeared.
Relay Event T2 (Part 1) - 'The Pink Pineapple'
(150 words limit)
Nothing worked. The dreary comedy on cable, some cool JAZZ music on his 4 track, the book he'd bought months ago from the Antiquarium because he loved the cover but hadn't had time to read. He still had that feeling. Something wasn't right. Pouring a brandy, he watched the seconds hand on his kitchen clock. Somewhere something...his mobile phone rang. It was an unknown number, landline. He picked it up and stared out through his lounge window into the night, overlooking the flats opposite.
"Hello, Todd here."
"Mr. Lehr, I think I may have something which would INTEREST you."
The voice on the other end wasn't familiar, in fact it sounded alien, like some voice effect was being used.
"Who is this?"
He was sure the voice sniggered hoarsely, away from their handset.
"That is not important. What is, however, is what I am about to say."
Todd listened intently.
List of elements for Challenges 27-52 (including Grudge Matches 1-4 and the Autumn & Winter Solstice Opens) and Weekend Quickies 1-23
27 - Millennium Falcon, GI Joe Action figures, waffle iron, Slim Whitman
28 - goat powered washing machine, petri dish, fried green tomatos, menacing stranger
29 - Nummo the alien, banana slippers, a cricket ball, an Elementary School spelling bee
30 - Pareidolia, jousting female knight, feather boa, bag of doorknobs
31 - live Griffin, peanut butter and banana sandwich, ventriloquist, Delorean
32 - centaur, megalomaniac, the oracle of all knowledge, abandoned outhouse
Autumn Equinox Open Elimination Round - balloon animals, Lydia the tattooed lady, tontine Centre Court Wimbledon
Autumn Equinox Open Final - Sadomasochistic Machiavellinism, tatting shuttles, rickshaw, bagpipes
33 - Leviathan, any George Formby song, jar of bacon fat, necklace
34 - Dressed herring, tuba, space station, phone booth
Grudge Match 1 - murderous unicorn, The Apollo Lunar Roving Vehicle, A fantasy football draft must be a part of the main scene of the story, The story must be written from the POV of someone with a mental illness or developmental delay
35 - Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, Twister (the game), hot air balloon, fishnet stockings
36 - 12 sweaty Sumo wrestlers, indestructible filing cabinet, wooden hanger, Big Wheel (tricycle)
37 - Perry Mason, The Lone Ranger, Daisy Duke, The Bionic Woman
38 - Roman Merchant Sailing Vessel, flour sack girdle, Bunny, the wonder elephant, The Royal Shakespearian Company
39 - can of Campbell’s Alphabet Soup, the phrase “Live long and Prosper”, 2000 year old Map of the Earth, empty Snuff Box
40 - Kahlúa, motherboard, told from the POV of a shark looking for a meal, must be written in 'Terza Rima'
41 - the Antikythera Mechanism, voodoo witch doctor, Kryptonite, Houndstooth shoes
42 - supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, buried silver julep cup, there must be two main characters and one must be responsible for the death of the other, synchronous fireflies (photinus carolinus)
43 - Voyager Spacecraft (satellite), female MMA fighter, needle and thread, 10′ long, 12″ diameter PVC pipe
44 - child's wagon, bug zapper, cranberries, faded dragon slayer manual
45 - judge, victim, liberal, conservative
46 - haboob, high diving horse, Birmingham Jail song, Yves Rossy, the Jetman
47 - The Golden Fleece, A Mudskipper, James Bond Mini Spy Kit, A rhinestone Tiara
48 - Mati Hari, toilet roll hat, single roller skate, house plant
49 - muppet, escalator, stop sign, any 1970s book
50 - snow rollers, harpy, nail gun, motorcycle airbag
51 - no ‘to be’ verbs, dying in a dream, "Punch and Judy" - it can either be a literal use of a Punch and Judy show, or an interpretation based on the common storyline of your typical Punch and Judy show, one of your characters must have a secret crush
52 - how you would quit your job, the scent of rain, Kiwi bird, Joan of Arc)
Weekend Quickie 1 - image - burning wicker man, element - applesauce, emotion - abject despair
Weekend Quickie 2 - image - Victorian women fight over a pair of breeches, element - a can of alphabet soup, emotion - elation
Weekend Quickie 3 - image - pink bird of paradise, element - snowglobe, emotion - Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
Weekend Quickie 4 - image - hurricane off the south coast of the USA, element - Flora-Bama (bar), emotion - s
ugar-induced hysteria
Weekend Quickie 5 - image - autumn, element - 1909 penny covered in Mars dust, emotion - déjà vu
Weekend Quickie 6 - image - white lizard, element - a can of pumpkin, emotion - bravado
Weekend Quickie 7 - image - Batman & Batgirl kissing, element - a cake walk, emotion - confusion
Weekend Quickie 8 - image - snow-ridden road at night, element - a lost dog, emotion - incredulity
Weekend Quickie 9 - image - Italian restaurant with family sitting outside, element - tangerine lifesaver, emotion - inspired creativity
Weekend Quickie 10 - image - chocolate cake with '14' candles, element - a son or mother, emotion - extreme devotion
Weekend Quickie 11 - image - large turkey float in parade, element - a lava lamp, emotion - thankfulness
Weekend Quickie 12 - image - storm in the distance down a long road, element - musical notes, emotion - a longing inspired by beauty, that you thought you’d overcome
Weekend Quickie 13 - image - Melissani cave on Kefalonia, Greece, element - cyclorama, emotion - enchantment
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 1 - image - man jumping across train carriages, element - partridge in a pear tree, emotion - infinite possibility
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 2 - image - woman blowing dust from her hands, element 1 - magic beans, element 2 - two turtle doves
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 3 - image - old bottle with sample tag, emotion - anticipation, element - three french hens
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 4 - image - old man and woman sitting at an upright piano, emotion - euphoria, element - four colly birds
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 5 - image - woman pushing a trolley/pram with twin boys and a christmas tree inside, emotion - an irresistible urge to disco, element - five gold rings
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 6 - image - giant hand picking up a car from a carpark, element 1 - Six Geese a Laying, who will only lay to the sound of ABBA, element 2 - Uncle Boom-Boom, your mother’s sister’s second husband
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 7 - image - caravans in a 'spend the night party', emotion - a numinous feeling, element - seven swans a swimming
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 8 - image - Santas wearing beards in a Santa school, emotion - Psithurism, element - eight maids-a-milking
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 9 - image - lightning strikes on Bay Bridge, San Francisco, emotion - exhiliration, element - eight ladies dancing
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 10 - image - night sky with stars and a church, emotion - wonder inspired by a miracle, element - ten lords a leaping
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 11 - image - girl and boy kneeling in front of Christmas fireplace, emotion - joy and anticipation, element - eleven pipers piping
12 Days of Christmas (WQ special) - Part 12 - image - people in church at the Midnight Mass, emotion - the peace that passeth all understanding, element - twelve drummers drumming
(no Weekend Quickie 14 and 15 - taken by Christmas special)
Weekend Quickie 16 - image - typewriter, element 1 - "Some people could look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships." Zora Neale Hurston, element 2 - 365 days
Weekend Quickie 17 - image - Aurora Borealis, element - Halcyon (bird), emotion - distraction
Weekend Quickie 18 - image - man and woman making a large sailing boat indoors, element - a birthday wish, emotion - a feeling of “la douleur exquise”
Weekend Quickie 19 - image - cars in the parking lot of Gruene Hall, Texas, element - the lyric from “Ramblin’ Man”, by the Allman Brothers “…And I was born in the back seat of a Greyhound bus, Rollin’ down highway 41″, emotion - acquiescence
Weekend Quickie 20 - image - trapdoor under carpets at the bottom of oak staircase, element - lavender, emotion - a feeling of incongruity
Weekend Quickie 21 - image - a forest, element - a portent that provokes fear, emotion - infatuation
Weekend Quickie 22 - image - girl bouncing along on a space hopper on an empty highway, element - just brewed coffee, emotion - the urge to tell a secret
Weekend Quickie 23 - image - artist's studio, element - newborn baby, emotion - fascination
Other work by Dani J Caile
'Dani's Shorts' (Volume 1)
'Dani's Shorts' is a collection of 500 word short stories based on the elements given in the Iron Writer Challenge. These 28 short stories show a range of Dani's favourite writing styles, including pair dialogues, internal thoughts and sardonic parodies.
"I hope you find the stories creative, serious, humorous, filled with pointless nonsense and poignant emotions. I hope you get angry, I hope you laugh, I hope you cry. I hope you share this work with everyone you know. Isn’t that what good writing is for?"
B Y Rogers (The Iron Writer Challenge)
If you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...
https://theironwriter.com/
…the 1st book …
‘Man by a tree’
Take a devilish romp through a world of death, where souls pay for experiences, monkeys are the hosts, and Reginald is the service provider.
Reginald has been in control for millennia. With His staff of hundreds, and millions of souls passing through to experience the delights of physicality, his reign has become complacent. His servants, Satan and Lucifer, jump at the chance to take what they see as rightfully theirs.
The Grim Reaper, or Graham Reader as he calls himself, has been doing his job of transporting souls ever since he can remember to gain his wings. But he has become tainted by the actions of the monkeys living on the planet. Unbeknown to him, a plan is afoot to change the status quo of 'up above' and 'down below', where he is a linchpin to both interested parties.
“Sharp, dark and sardonic are rarely found wrapped in single package” Greg Levin (Notes on an Orange Burial)
https://www.createspace.com/3731273
…the 2nd book …
‘The Bethlehem Fiasco’
With only one sane man in the desert, can the answers he seeks be found? Or will it be the death of him?
In a time when hobgoblins and angels run amok, can the universe survive the petty struggles of the powers that be? Based on as yet unreleased papyrus scriptures found in a 2nd floor bedsit in Lewisham, England, this is the 'true' story of one man.
"Irreverent, quirky and fun" Fredrik Nath (The Cyclist)
"...a light and breezy read..." Iso Nuys (Paid on Return)
"I loved it!" Dave Tarragon (The Chemo Diaries)
https://www.createspace.com/3783797
…the 3rd …
‘The Rage of Atlantis’
Bombs, angels, dolphins, hobgoblins, crazy monkeys, Reginald in a rage, Satan on the toilet...all mixed with absurdly serious issues.
Will a selfish plan for immortality destroy the human race? Or will there be light ‘beyond’ the end of the tunnel?
High Chief of Security Sipho, with his female dolphin sidekick Kang Dee, investigates the latest in a long line of terrorist attacks by the ‘unseen’ against Atlantis, the utopian gem of the physical universe, and finds more than he could have ever imagined.
"If you loved Douglas Adams, then you're bound to love Dani J. Caile!" Jasper T. Scott (Escape, Dark Space)
"Hilarious" Eponymous Rex (B.O.T.)
"Flash Gordon meets Water-world" Karen Bates (Faking it in France)
https://www.createspace.com/3845760
…the 4th …
‘Manna-X’
Reginald sends Graham Reader (aka the Grim Reaper), out on a mission to find Code 237-Manna-X, the Manna Machine after the Overlords warn him of an imminent (3000 year old) threat against the security of both the physical and non-physical realms.
Will Graham find the fantastic yet deadly device before anyone or anything else does?
"I haven't come across anything quite like this..." Debbie Roxbu
rgh (Speedy McCready)
"With your wily work [Dani], I tend to focus on what's in parentheses. (I also think you are very misunderstood...and possibly always have been.)" Eponymous Rox (B.O.T.)
"Manna-X is one roar of laughter after the next!" Jasper T. Scott (Escape, Dark Space)
https://www.createspace.com/4151484
…and also another small freebie…
‘TDX2’
(Too Dull to Die)
Guido's dead, but he hasn't lived yet. Will he get a second chance? Or will Satan have his evil way?
Dull Guido has kept himself out of trouble (and life) for 34 years 5 months and 14 days, only to die on the night before he finally has his first big adventure, a world cruise. Graham Reader, the Grim Reaper, tries to help him navigate the world 'up above', only for Guido to find out that there are worse things than death - Satan's tool cupboard.
And remember, if you are 'up to the Challenge', then go to...
https://theironwriter.com/
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