Chapter 18
This is to try and answer your question, Mr. Tan: How do I perceive the world? Okay, this is what I saw today. Though I doubt you’ll ever hear it…
In the morning the sun was lazy to rise. The stars outside the bedroom window hung on like diamonds in their brilliance, reflecting to each other in the pure language of light. There was no distance between them and no distance from awareness. Experience felt its way gently down a razor’s edge of joyful (and joyously painful) sensation, true feeling. And the absolute perfection of those diamonds in the sky. It pulses through perception: Intensity! Beauty! Brilliance! That is Heavenly Mind.
Sun is now up, soaking the world in Van Gogh light. Walking early to school, and the body carries heavenly awareness. There is delight in the ever-surprising world of beauty and silence, as awareness floats along (about five feet, five inches above the ground) down the yellow brick road of this now. A beautiful choir of tinkling triangles are found to be, ahhh…just the tweetings of birds in the trees. Hovering along an enchanted sidewalk, rolling to infinity. What a feeling! That is Heavenly Mind.
Now in class, the sixth session of the day. The answers come so easily, from the nowhere, without obstacles. The strain of narrowed concentration isn’t there. But the answers remain unspoken. So much more fun watching others raise their hands. They are shiny and perfect, like those stars in the sky, beaming in the moment: embarrassed or eager; right or wrong; happy or sad. All in the same heavenly space. While in front Mr. Tan, you just radiate with your smile like another smiling Sun warming the world. Heaven in a high school classroom—who would believe it?
- From His Recorded Words
The next morning prior to first bell I was on hands and knees crawling desperately through sprawling dark tunnels—that’s how Conan would have described it from one of his labyrinth adventures. I had returned to the air ducts. And I was late.
My memory of the lay-out wasn’t as accurate as I thought it was and I took a wrong turn somewhere, consequently getting lost for half an hour before finally finding the grate above Principal Steele’s office.
Principal Steele was behind his desk. Scattered on top were a couple of posters with “Danny is the Way” headings and headless stick figures. Mr. Tan was sitting across from him. Apparently they had already had some discussion because the latest and greatest of Mr. Tan’s and Danny’s pictures was on the white board, with lots of notes. It must have been quite a lecture. I was glad I missed it.
Principal Steele rubbed his fingers through his hair and sighed. “So what you’re saying, Kyle, is that these pictures and so-called teachings of Danny Perkins can actually be tied to studies within this ‘transpersonal psychology’ field?”
“Right, Bob. It’s the study of human consciousness, its levels, how it develops, how it transforms human perception. There’s a lot going on there right now. And Danny appears to have an intuitive insight into some of the most advanced research that’s currently being done with higher states of consciousness. It’s really stunning. All on his own he’s developed a practical experiment to initiate expanded states of consciousness. More than that, I believe for him, it’s actually a permanent state.”
“That’s a big deal in you opinion?”
“It’s huge, Bob! We’re talking one in a million here. And to find someone like this so young—untainted, so to speak? Bob, this should be studied, the same as you might study a unique prodigy in math or art.”
“I’ll be honest, Kyle, I’m not sure about any of this transpersonal stuff. But I’ll tell you, when John Stevens and I saw Danny take down Tim Hanson the other day…well, something is happening with that boy.”
“Yes, I heard; and we talked about it. I wish I’d seen it. The scientific explanation is that Danny’s reflexes have speeded up significantly since his…transformation. He no longer has a normal startle reflex to slow him down. He responds without egoic mediation. It’s astounding, Bob…if what I think has happened to Danny, has in fact happened.”
“I’ll confess, it reminded me of…one of my guilty pleasures is watching old samurai movies. You know the kind…where everything is perfectly calm in one scene, and then the wrong word is spoken and swords flash, a couple heads get cut off, and then everything’s back to normal. I’ll bet he’d really excel at a martial art.”
Mr. Tan chuckled. “Well, yes. Danny described it to me himself as acting with the speed of clarity. But that’s a side issue.”
“Speed of clarity, huh? Some of the students apparently believe he’s developed super powers.”
“Yes, and that gets to the problem I see evolving. Some of them may be taking this to an unhealthy level. He’s become a new kind of hero. And that’s where you get the danger of cult behavior.”
“They’re not mature enough for, uh, Danny’s transpersonal teachings?” Principal Steele asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“Then you agree we do need to put a stop to these gatherings.”
“Yes.”
“Oh, my God,” I whispered to myself. Mr. Tan was betraying us.
“What do you propose?” Principal Steele asked.
“I’ve got an old friend who works at school specifically for child prodigies in Ojai. It’s one of the better known centers, and they handle all kinds of these young geniuses who excel at music, science, and math. Danny would be the only one of his kind, a transpersonal prodigy. But my friend and I share some ideas on this, and he thinks he can bring Danny on. He’ll get a full ride. That’s the way it works. And with his family’s financial situation, it should be a great opportunity. I would think they’d jump at it.”
“Ojai? Where’s Ojai?”
“California.”
“Shit,” I swore out loud, then slithered back with my head down.
They paused for a minute, probably looking around for the odd noise. I hung back from the grate, held my breath and listened. Eventually Principal Steele said, “You’re right, his family will jump at it. I’ve spoken to them and they’re worried he’s going crazy. They put a lot of hopes into that boy, you know. This will also get all these complaining parents off my back.”
“The Hansons? I’ve heard.”
“No, I haven’t heard anything from the Hansons except they’re sending that reprobate son of theirs to military school. Frankly, the pressure is coming from Michelle Connelly’s parents.”
“The Connellys?”
“Yes, apparently Danny had some relationship with Michelle’s aunt, who was dying of cancer in the hospital where Danny recovered. It seemed healthy at the time, but now they’d like to see Michelle get her focus back…studying and her other activities.”
My knuckles nearly snapped as I clenched my skull. Just when things were resolving for the better, it was all falling apart again. And Michelle’s parents were the cause. I crawled to a vertical shaft to sit up and catch my breath. There was no one left to turn to. I got on my hands and knees, left the way I came in.