She nodded and glanced away to the TV again, but I hadn’t missed the troubled expression in her eyes. I hurried out, wondering what in the world could be this important it couldn’t wait. As if my stomach weren’t already tense enough, the look on Aaron’s face was unnerving.
I wasn’t sure if he was upset that, because of my lack of courage to come clean to Edi about us, my boyfriend had to be sneaky about seeing me. Then something else dawned on me. As expected, he looked breathtaking in his tux. He wasn’t even wearing the jacket. The vest was undone and so were his top buttons, reminding me of our night in his room in Milwaukee. I could only imagine what must’ve been going through Mia’s head when she’d seen him today completely decked out.
I closed the door as I got in. “What’s going on?”
He had that hardened expression about him. Something was really bothering him, and it only unnerved me further.
“Mia kissed me,” he said simply.
It was almost as if I heard wrong. It took my mind a moment to let it register. “She kissed you?”
“Yeah, and I wouldn’t have even mentioned it—”
“On the lips?” I asked as it finally registered. He nodded, but then something else hit me. “What do you mean you wouldn’t have mentioned it?”
“Because,” he said, lifting his hand, “it was so insignificant and meaningless. It’s not like I kissed her back. She was just drunk.”
“Where were you?” I could feel my insides already heating.
No matter how hard I knew this whole break up must have been for Mia, I would never feel sorry for her again. My head raced, trying to picture how she could just kiss Aaron?
“Right there on in the middle of the reception hall. In front of everybody. It’s not like we were alone anywhere.”
“How did she just kiss you, Aaron? And I take it wasn’t just a peck or you wouldn’t be sitting here telling me about it.”
“She was on my lap and—”
“She was what?” I asked much louder than I expected.
“For a photo,” he said quickly, reaching for my hand. “Everyone in the wedding party took a photo that way, and it was practically just a peck because I pulled away, and it was over before it even started. Trust me, baby, it was nothing. You know how I feel about her and how I feel about you. The only reason I’m telling you is because the cameras were going. The entire wedding was one awkward moment after another, so when she did that, I called it a night and left. She texted me after I left to apologize and promise she wouldn’t let anyone post the photos anywhere public, but they’re all drunk right now. I was worried someone might anyway and you’d see it before I could explain.”
I stared at him, somehow knowing that, as always, there wasn’t anything insincere about what he was saying. “One awkward moment after another?” I asked a little calmer. “Did she try anything else?”
“No, that’s was so surprising about her kissing me,” he said, sounding a bit relieved that I wasn’t freaking out on him.
He explained how the first part of the wedding she’d barely spoken to him and it wasn’t until the reception after she’d had a few that she did talk to him but the entire conversation had been dripping with sarcasm. There’d been a handful of backhanded compliments. He’d been pretty sure she hated him now until that kiss.
“So, she’s still—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m over her and completely into you. You’re all that matters now. That’s why I’m here. Even though this is such a non-issue, I just didn’t want you to find out about this any other way.”
I stared at my hand, feeling the guilt that here he was showing me his complete devotion and I couldn’t just leave with him or invite him in because my priorities were still divided. It made me feel so weak and undeserving of him.
“Hey,” he said and I glanced up. “You believe that, right? That you’re the only one who matters to me now?”
I nodded, taking a deep breath, then let my head fall back on the head rest.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I wish I were as strong as you,” I said.
“Babe, you’re stronger than I am.”
“How can you say that?” I turned to him. “You’re so much stronger than I am, not to mention patient. I don’t know that I’d have the patience to deal with someone as pathetically weak as me.”
“Stop.” He squeezed my hand with that hardened expression again. “I can’t even begin to imagine having to go through some of the things you did and still have such a buoyant outlook on life. I think it’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place. I was so damn impressed by you that first time I talked to you. You’re gonna get through this. We’re gonna get through it together. This is just another twist on that roller coaster you spoke of, remember?” I stared at him, tilting my head, confused, and he smiled. “ That first night you said you’d like to think every twist and turn you take on this roller coaster ride of a life you’ve had is molding you into the person you’ll someday be.”
“You remember that?” I asked, wondering how long it would be before he stopped turning my insides to complete mush.
“I told you before, Henri. I remember everything about the conversation that night. About every conversation we’ve had since. You never cease to amaze me.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered, feeling emotional suddenly.
“Nope.” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve you.” He turned to my apartment as I stared at him, not thinking my heart could swell any more than it already was. “You’ve been out here a while. Maybe you should head back. I don’t want Edi getting upset.” He turned back to me, and I must’ve looked as dreamy-eyed as I felt. “Only because I don’t want you getting upset, but stop looking at me that way. I’m not that understanding or patient, babe. I will be for now, but you have to know it won’t always be this way. It’s inevitable that she’s gonna find out about us—”
“I know,” I said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “It’s just I need a little more time.”
“I said I’d be reasonable.” He lifted a brow. “So I’ll give you more time, but this isn’t even about me, babe. After what I saw yesterday, I just think the sooner you start dealing with this the better.”
I felt my smile flatten but decided to risk what initially I wasn’t going to. I leaned over and kissed him softly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“See you tomorrow morning,” I said as I got out of the car.
As usual, he waited until I was all the way in the apartment, and I waved from the window because Edi wasn’t in the front room or kitchen. I noticed the TV wasn’t on anymore. And sitting on the table in front of it was the popcorn, barely touched.
“Edi?” I asked, nervous suddenly that maybe she’d seen me kiss Aaron goodbye.
Then I heard it, the familiar sound of her muffled whimpering, and my heart nearly gave out. I rushed into her bedroom where she stood over her bed, throwing clothes into her suitcase. She looked up at me, and I saw her tear-streaked face the same as it was yesterday morning and the night before.
“What’s wrong? Where are you going?”
“Home.”
My insides hollowed out, and I felt sick to my stomach again like yesterday morning. This was my worst nightmare. She was leaving just like this? She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Yet here she was packing frantically.
~*~
Aaron
I woke to two troublesome texts. The first was from Mia. It’d been sent a little after two a.m. She’d attached the photo someone had taken of the kiss. And God damn it if didn’t look at all like the meaningless peck I’d described to Henri. I either closed my eyes and didn’t remember doing so or someone took the picture just as I’d blinked. But it looked like I was just as much into the damn kiss as she was. I stared at the picture for a moment before reading the text she sent with it.
Don’t we look perfect together?
Ruth said it should be shared, so I’m sharing.
That had me sitting up straight as my heart began to pound. “The fuck does that mean?”
The next text was from Henri, and I nearly choked when I read it because I had a feeling now what the answer to my question was.
I’m flying out to California with Edi. I’ll call you tomorrow.
This time I jumped out of bed, checking the time before hitting speed dial on Henri’s number. It rang twice before she answered.
“Hello?”
“What happened?” I asked and somehow just the sound of her voice soothed my panicked heart. But very little.
“I can’t talk right now,” she said in a lowered voice. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll call you back.”
“Are you in California?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said simply without further explanation, and I froze in the middle of the room.
“Why?”
“I’ll be out here for a least a few days.”
“Days?” I asked even more concerned. “What’s going on? Why’d you leave?”
There were voices in the background that got louder and the phone muffled a bit before she came back on. “I have to go,” she whispered. “I’ll call you in a few.”
The line clicked and I was left standing there still with no answers. My girlfriend had up and left to California with her ex-girlfriend. My only consolation was she didn’t sound angry or upset. This still may have nothing to do with the damn picture. Somehow that wasn’t nearly as reassuring as it should’ve been.
Chapter 21
Henri
Aaron couldn’t have called at a worst time. I’d been entering an elevator with Edi and her mom, Magda. I wouldn’t have even answered, but I didn’t have the heart not to. I knew he’d be worried. Not that my explanation cleared anything up, but at least he knew I was okay.
As soon as we reached the NICU, Edi latched onto her sister Esme, and they held on to each other for a long emotional moment. I watched, feeling choked up as I glanced at the helpless-looking baby in the incubator. The poor little girl had tubes coming out of everywhere.
Last night, before I could even begin to beg Edi not leave, my phone had rung in my hand. It was Magda. The moment I answered she explained what Edi hadn’t yet. Baby Zoey, Edi’s niece, was in the hospital—again. Magda said they hadn’t bothered worrying Edi the first time she’d gone into the hospital because she’d stopped breathing. She’d since been on a monitor that would alert her parents if her breathing stopped again. It had yesterday afternoon, and she’d been rushed to the hospital. It didn’t seem serious at first, but last night, the doctors had prepared them for the worst. She may not make it this time.
Magda wanted Edi to come home and be there for her sister, but after talking to her on the phone and hearing how uncharacteristically upset Edi had been, she didn’t want her traveling alone. She offered to pay my way then proceeded to practically beg me to fly home with Edi. Of course, the begging hadn’t even been necessary. I would’ve gone in a heartbeat. It was the least I owed Edi after all the times Edi had been there for me.
The last-minute flight she booked us had barely given us enough time to pack quickly, take a cab to the airport, practically sprint to our awaiting gate, and board our plane. I’d also had my hands full calming and consoling Edi. I hadn’t even had time to think about calling or sending more than the short text I’d sent Aaron.
On the plane ride here, Edi explained her parents didn’t know we were no longer a couple. She hadn’t told any of them, not even her sister.
“When I first came out to them, it hadn’t been the easiest for them,” she explained. “Since we’ve been such close friends for so long, one of the first things my mom asked was if you knew and if you were too. I said no and that I didn’t know for sure if you were but I was hoping.”
This was the first I was hearing of this. Her mom and sister were actually the first to know that she was in love with me. They were also the first to hear about us becoming a couple and that she hadn’t wanted to tell them about us breaking up because she knew they’d worry, especially her mom. Her mom was notorious for being a worrywart. The entire time we’d been in Michigan, if Edi didn’t call her at least once a day, she’d be upset.
Edi explained that, while everyone in her family was accepting of her lifestyle, no one was very comfortable talking about it yet. So they didn’t really ask her much about that part of her life.
“I’m not gonna say anything to them about it yet either,” she said, looking at me a little apprehensively, then added, “but I promise you no one is gonna bring it up. Even if we were still together, I wouldn’t do anything to make them uncomfortable like being affectionate or even holding your hand in front of them. So you won’t have to confirm or deny anything. I’m just warning you in case someone happens to mention it. They don’t know and I’m not telling them. Not on this trip.”
I agreed with Edi when she said it was probably the last thing anyone would be discussing anyway.
“How is she?” I asked when I finally got to hug Esme.
“Actually, she’s better,” she said with a smile and a sniffle.
“Oh, thank God,” Magda said, putting her arm around Edi’s shoulder as they both stood in front of the incubator.
“Yes,” Esme said, smiling even brighter. “The doctor came in here just after you left to pick them up at the airport. The baby is breathing normally now, but they still want to run a few more tests before releasing her.”
“Releasing her?” Magda asked, her hand at her chest with a mixture of surprise and concern.
“Yeah,” Esme said, sounding just as surprised by the news. “He was really impressed with all her numbers and said sometimes this happens with babies. He said children are resilient and can go from one extreme to another overnight.”
They discussed the baby’s prognosis and everything else the doctor had told Esme. Basically, it looked as though the baby wasn’t going to be in the hospital as long as they’d all thought, and the scare they had that she might not make it appeared to be over—for now anyway.
“It’s why Donald went home to shower,” Esme said. “Since she’s doing so well, he said he’d take advantage and run home. I’ll go once he gets back.”
“Honey, you haven’t eaten. Now that Edi’s here, we can go get something.”
“It’s still too early for any food,” Esme said, sitting down.
“Esmeralda, you didn’t have anything last night for dinner either,” Magda reminded her.
It wasn’t until that moment that I realized Edi and I hadn’t eaten our pizza, nor had we had time to grab anything since. It was early, but that was because of the time difference. Edi and I were four hours ahead.
Esme said she’d grab something at home as soon as her husband Donald got back. Of course, Magda insisted she was going to grab her at least some Starbucks and a pastry. When Edi said she wanted to stay with Esme, I offered to go with Magda, since hearing her talk about food had me suddenly starving.
Halfway through the long trek back to the car, Magda changed the subject from the baby and how incredibly scared they’d all been to the subject of Edi and me, and my stomach was immediately in knots.
“I know you haven’t told Gemma yet about you and Edi, and I get why you might be hesitant,” she began. “I just wanted you to know that even though Edi’s dad and I were concerned at first that’s all it was. I have nothing against homosexuality. I never have. It’s just that, as a parent, naturally I worry that my child’s life is going to be that much more difficult. She’ll have to deal with discrimination and hate from other’s intolerance and ignorance. No one wants that for their children.”
She told me about how she’d since joined an online LGBT parent support group. She explained it wasn’t a support group as in how to cope or learn to accept it. The group was more about how to support your gay children and how to deal with intolerance even from friends and other family membe
rs, etc.
Every time she mentioned Edi and I being together, I cringed. She’d already told me about how she cried when Edi told her she was applying to Michigan State, but knowing Edi’s best friend would be with her took the stress out of knowing her baby wouldn’t be alone in such a faraway place. Then she hit me with the biggest guilt bomb, one I had to sit and swallow while we were driving.
“I just want you to know that I may not talk to Edi too much about this, but her father and I truly support you two and accept you with open arms as we would any of our other kids’ significant others.”
As if that weren’t bad enough, when we got out of the car, she hugged me. She said that, not only did they accept me, they were beyond relieved that, if Edi was going to live this lifestyle, she had me in her corner living it with her.
For a second, I actually felt lightheaded. My head was spinning with everything she’d just laid on me. My only response was to hug her back, smile, and thank her.
As soon as we put our order in, I went into the ladies’ room, thankful that it was a single restroom. I called Aaron, and, as expected, he immediately answered.
“What happened?”
“I can’t talk long,” I said. “I’m in the bathroom at Starbucks, but Edi’s mom’s outside waiting for me. Everything is fine now. Edi got a call last night that her niece had been rushed to the hospital.”
I explained everything about how Edi had been so upset her mother paid for my ticket so Edi wouldn’t have to fly out by herself. I told him about the baby doing better and how he’d called when I’d just been stepping into the elevator with Edi and her mom. Then, finally, I said I was at Starbucks with her mom, grabbing coffee and some food, but we’d be heading back to the hospital. He listened quietly the whole time, and when I was done, his first question was, “Why are you calling me from the restroom?”
Of course, that was the one thing out of everything I’d just told him that he’d be most concerned about.