Shaking my head, I said, “He doesn’t love me. It’s just lust. Or something.”
Her perfect eyebrow shot up. “Tell yourself whatever you want, but you better stop hurting Collin. Nicole’s gonna kill you. And I can’t stand you either.” Her words hung in the air. The horrible certainty that her clones thought he loved me, made me feel sick. If he did love me, the way I acted was horrifying. No. They couldn’t be right. It wasn’t possible. This was payback for messing with Nicole last night. Collin couldn’t love me. He couldn’t.
The rest of the day passed, and I dreading seeing Eric. People were talking about him and it was entirely my fault. I didn’t know how he’d respond. When I turned the hallway to the bio room, I saw Eric leaning on the wall. His arms were folded, as he watched me approach. My pace slowed. The burn of humiliation rose to my cheeks. When I reached him I said, “Eric, let me explain.”
His amber eyes were cold. He lowered his face to mine, and said, “Explain. Explain how you could do something like that. You didn’t even know him.” Straightening, he stepped back.
“Eric…” the bell rang. His disappointment deflated my desire to fight back. My entire defense, the need to conceal the demon blood coursing through my veins melted. I couldn’t hide this anymore. It was eating me alive and destroying every friendship I had. Horrified, I heard the words slipping out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Eric, I’m not like you. I’m different. There’s darkness inside me that I can’t control. Yesterday, I heard you talking about killing someone, permanently. I was overloaded. I can’t stand the thought. Oh God, Eric.” The confession spilled over my lips before I could choke it back, “It’s me. I’m the one you’re looking for.”
His lips cracked into a smile, as he laughed. He put his hand on my shoulder acting utterly amused. “That’s what freaked you out? You think you’re the one we’re looking for?” He laughed some more, shaking his head. “I suppose that warranted your reaction, but I assure you,” he smiled, “I’m not hunting you.”
He didn’t believe me! Unbelievable. I told the Seeker the one he was hunting was standing right in front of him, and he blew me off! I felt irritated, but it also assured that I was well hidden. He didn’t suspect me at all. From the look on his face, he thought I was foolish for thinking such a thing. Eric forgave me easily. It was part of his charm, but it also made it harder. There would be a time when he realized who I was. The betrayal was going to be horrifying, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
My mood was crap by the time I got to the nun. Sister Al was telling me about the premonition type of Seyer-ing that happened before a vision, when I blurted out the question that I was dying to ask, “Is it normal for a Seyer to have a heightened sense of another person?”
Her wrinkled face seemed surprised by my question. “No. That ain’t normal, but none of us is the same. And you were cut from a different mold, child. Any fool can see that. Why you askin’?” Her old eyes held mine.
I couldn’t look away. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to trust her. But my mouth wouldn’t spill the truth. I shrugged. “I thought maybe we just had heightened senses in general.”
She replied, “Ask your question, if you got one.”
“I have a connection with another person. It’s like we can hear each other’s thoughts. It feels very - weird.” I paused. She didn’t look at me like I was insane, so I began again slowly forming the words that described our bond. “And the connection, this bond we have, it’s growing. When I try to pull away from this person, it’s starting to physically hurt. Something inside me is being stretched. And it snaps when I leave.” I stopped there, expecting her to tell me I was nuts.
“Hmm. It’s not with everyone—only one person?” Her ancient fingers made a tee pee on her chin.
“Only one,” I breathed.
Her old eyes considered me. “And it’s changing?”
I nodded, “Yeah. It’s getting stronger. In the beginning, it was only a sensation. Then it required eye contact or touch. I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my secrets to myself. Like the Martis. What do I do?”
Her face was serious, as she tapped her upper lip. I expected this sage to have all the answers that I would need for the rest of my life. I hung on her words, waiting for them to enlighten me, and get me out of this mess. Her answer was shocking. “No idea, but that’s an interesting situation. You’ll have to let me know how it turns out.”
“What!” I squealed. “You have to tell me. I don’t know what to do. He’s not Martis! He’s a mortal!”
She leaned forward, “It’s a him?”
“Yes. Can you tell me now? What do I do? The only way to keep him out of my head is to push him away. But the bond is pulling me toward him. I don’t think I can stay away, especially if it’s doing the same thing to him.” And I didn’t want to stay away from him. He was my best friend, no matter what recent events transpired.
A smile spread over her lips as she leaned back laughing, “Oh child!”
“This isn’t funny! I need to know. I can’t stand it.” I was out of breath. Panic was rising within me.
Al finally answered, “You can’t stand it, because you try to control everything. But you ain’t gonna control this. And you can’t bend it to your will, neither. The two of you were made to do something together. At some point. It doesn’t matter what you do—it will happen. Fighting it is pointless, even if you don’t like it. And at some point, he will find out what you are.” She leaned forward, “We all will. When you’re ready.”
My heart caught in my throat. Her old face watched mine. Great. She was going to play with me until I told her. Well, that I could control, and I wasn’t telling her that I was the only Martis walking around with demon blood right then. That was the end of the discussion. I’d have to deal with Collin myself.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
A week passed since the fountain incident. Collin kept his distance. We had trouble patching things up after the fountain incident, and we weren’t talking. My anger faded, but I couldn’t talk to him yet. The words Lily had said really messed with me, although I found it impossible to believe her. There was no way he loved me. And besides, I knew there was another reason why Collin kept away from me. I could feel it. The bond was changing again. It seemed to have a life of its own. I didn’t discuss it with Collin, but I knew he was also aware of the shift. Apprehension laced his thoughts. When we passed each other in the halls, I felt the bond pull, urging me toward him. Often, it made us pause. We would stop—unable to speak. Our eyes met and we would stare at each other, as wordless thoughts past between us.
Kids noticed. They were saying that some new dramatic thing happened between us, though nothing had. The staring was an attempt at locking down my mind before thoughts could slip out and into Collin’s mind. When he was nearby, I forced everything out of my mind. He did the same, but the bond grew more uncomfortable. Each time we finally moved enough to snap the bond my heart would sink, and the pulling in my chest snapped, in a short painful pop.
I straddled my stool in bio, and slumped down on my desk. The tabletop felt cold against my cheek. Staring at the wall, I thought about it, waiting for the bell to ring. Things were getting really weird. When Collin crossed my path, I was solely focused on breaking proximity, and subduing the bond before information leaked out. Stupid-ass bond. It was getting hard. Very hard. Being a hallway apart wasn’t helping anymore. We could hear each other at a longer distance, and through walls. It was particularly bad in math, when he was in the room next to mine. His muted thoughts came through the cinder block walls. The worst part was the pulling sensation. There was a wall in the way. It’s not like I could move it and go to him! But the bond didn’t care.
The chair next to me scraped the floor. I heard Eric ask, “You okay?”
Leaning back, I raised my head, and smiled faintly. “Yup. I’m fine. Just a little strung out.” He nodded. Class went on as usual. When the bell rang, we walked back to my locker
together. There was no circle of blonde girls. No Collin. Eric left me, and we planned to meet around front. I was disappointed that Collin wasn’t there. I almost wished he’d say something, so we could move past the other night. But, he didn’t. Neither would I. It’s not like I should apologize. But still. If I was given the opportunity to allow things to blow over, I would jump at it.
The kids still regarded me as the school slut, but I was no longer the topic of choice. Thank God. That was horrifying and lasted long enough. Eric made up some story about taking me back, despite my wild ways—which was true, since he couldn’t lie. And we were a fake couple again. Eric drove to the church, saying little. When he finally spoke, it wasn’t something that I wanted to talk about. “Why’d you do it?”
Turning my head, I looked at him quizzically. “Do what?”
His face saddened, and he wouldn’t look at me. “The skater. At the party. I heard lots of stories. I didn’t hear yours.”
“I don’t really want to talk about it, okay?” I stared out the window, leaning my head against the glass.
He cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “Ivy, Shannon told me that Collin threw you in the fountain. You were fighting with your best friend? The whole thing sounds weird.”
I shrugged, “It was weird.”
Eric looked at me, gripping the wheel tighter. “Things tend to fester and putrefy, if you don’t deal with them. You tend to shove your problems in a box, and then they blow up in your face.”
I bristled, “They do not… Well, maybe they do—a little bit. What would you have me do?” I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, straightening in my seat.
“I’d have you deal with it. Whatever it is. However you can. Sealing it inside of you doesn’t work out very well.” He shrugged. “I know, because I did it. I was really angry when I was first changed. Not because of the mark, but because of what I lost. The Valefar killed her…” his voice grew quieter, as he turned the wheel, pulling into the parking lot. The gravel crunched under the truck as he slowed to a stop. “Lydia meant everything to me. I lost her because I was a fool. Whether you want to admit it or not—Collin means something to you. Don’t be a fool and throw it away.”
“Maybe I am a fool. What kind of girl would I be, if I did like him? You said it yourself, he treats me like crap.” I didn’t want to talk about this anymore.
Eric pushed my hair out of my face, turning my chin toward him. His caramel eyes were compassionate. “Ivy, I envy you. You have no idea how much I envy you. I know what he did for you. What he’s done for you. Love doesn’t come along too often. Believe me, I know. When it does, only the foolish let it fade. Even if it is him.” Eric slid out of the truck.
Stunned, I sat there unable to move. Love? Wouldn’t I know if Collin loved me? I heard his thoughts and emotions through the bond. Admiration leaked through before, and even lust, but not love—never love. No, they were wrong. I don’t know what they were seeing, but I knew—without a doubt—Collin did not love me. We were friends. That’s all.
When I finally went inside, Al was waiting for me. Today she was going to prep me for my visions. Since I hadn’t had one yet, she thought they would crash into me like a freight train. The gift was on or off for me, with nothing in the middle. Since that was the way my life usually went, I didn’t doubt her. I was excited about learning this part. There was the remote possibility that I would see something about my future—about the prophecy. Then, maybe, I could fix things.
Al rocked as she spoke. “Seyers get glimpses of the future. They can’t see everything—just parts and pieces. If you get enough details, you can try to figure out what might happen. When you have your first vision, it will feel like a dream. But, since we don’t sleep, you won’t be sleeping. But you’ll be vulnerable. The first thing you do when you feel a vision coming is to remove yourself from danger. Then when you are in the vision, collect as much detail as you can. You’re gonna need it to figure out what you saw. Then come tell me about it.”
“Okay,” I didn’t know what to say. I figured visions were like dreams, so I thought I would just have to wait and find out. And it didn’t seem she could really teach me anything else until I’d experienced one. I’d have to wait and see how it went on my own.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?” she asked.
I stiffened slightly. “Like what?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” she smiled. “You just seem like you have choices to make, and you haven’t made them. If ya leave the pie in the oven too long, it burns.”
What the hell was she talking about? Pie? I blinked. “I don’t have pies, Sister.”
“Yes, ya do. Everybody’s got pies. Pies about what to wear, what to eat, who to date, who to fight, who to tell… ” she paused. Her weathered skin wrinkled around glittery eyes. “And if we don’t decide, everything just burns. If we don’t choose when, someone else will choose for us, like the fire department tells you when those pies burn your house down. You get what I’m saying to ya?”
No. “Yes,” I smiled. I had no words to retort to the pies, but I did feel a little hungry. “Well, thanks.”
Eric hung his head in the room. “You ready?” Sister Al looked at me, waiting for my reply.
I nodded at Eric and said, “I think so.” Turning to Al, I asked, “Are we done?”
“We are.” She looked slightly offended. But I couldn’t say anything. I nearly peed myself when she brought it up. I knew she’d seen my future, but I didn’t know how much. It was possible she didn’t know that I was tainted. And I didn’t want to be the one to tell her. Then I thought of her metaphor. Burnt pie. That’s what happens when you wait too long. The decision gets taken away. It clicked slowly, but it clicked. I said the only thing I could think to say, “Thank you.” I placed a hand on her shoulder, as I passed.
She covered it with her gnarled fingers and said, “I’ll help you. I promised. Nuns don’t lie, girl.”
Eric was an awesome teacher. He didn’t mention my failures. I kind of sucked at everything. Patience was a requirement when working with me, and he had it in abundance. I’d mastered a few moves, but was shocked when he said, “Let’s just have fun today.” The look on his face let me know right away that I wasn’t going to think this was fun.
“Fun? What are you talking about?” I asked. Practice was never fun. I usually got my butt kicked. Dread ran through my veins.
He grinned, “We’re done when one of us is immobilized. Use the things I taught you. Don’t leave the gym. And no weapons.”
“Eric, I don’t have any weapons,” I laughed. Like I shoved something down my pants. What was he talking about? The Martis that had trained with Eric slowed, grinning, watching us. Their feet stopped as they watched the exchange.
Flicking my comb, he said, “No silver. Keep it clean.” Grinning like crazy, he bent at the waist, gesturing for me to come toward him. “Come get me.”
The dark haired Martis laughed, as she sat down with the two men, ready to watch us spar. My eyes flicked between them and us. I folded my arms, feeling more than silly. “Eric. Seriously? And what about them?”
“They can watch. We just did the same exercise. It’ll be good for them—and you.” He grinned at me, saying, “You better start, or I will.” Slightly shocked, I stood there with my arms folded, refusing to move. Disbelief spread across my face. Seriously? He wanted me to trap him? Apparently, I waited too long because he lunged at me at full speed.
I shrieked, and ran, narrowly escaping his grasp. “This is so unfair!” I yelled over my shoulder. “You’re gonna trap me in five seconds!”
The other Martis laughed. Elena, the Martis woman with black hair yelled, with a smile on her face, “Fight, girl! Stop running. He’ll catch you! Use your offensive moves.”
His hand swiped at my waist, as I twisted to see who spoke. I turned, ducking and ran under his arms. “I can’t beat you! You’re 2,000 years older than me!” His foot went out when I was half way through
, and I tumbled to the ground. Instead of taking him with me, I twisted into a ball, and rolled away. Jumping to my feet, I expected him to grab at me, so I stayed low. His hand swiped—and missed. I laughed, jumping over a mat, and then climbed up the rope.
Eric stood at the bottom. “That was dumb. Now how do you plan to get away from me?”
I yelled down. “You said you had to immobilize me. I can still move.” I waved my arms at him to demonstrate. “You don’t win. Stalemate.” My heart was pounding and I used the moment to catch my breath, knowing Eric wouldn’t allow a stalemate.
His hands tugged the rope and I felt it move below me. He shot up, climbing quickly. He moved much faster than before, and was halfway up before I caught my breath. My fingers released the rope, as I felt the air swirl around me in a WOOSH. As I dropped, Eric screamed, reaching for me but missing. My feet landed on the floor with a deafening thud, followed by some nasty shin splints. Eric was stunned into silence, and remained motionless on the rope. My gaze shot to the Martis—their mouths were open.