Crap. What did I do? I sprinted from the place that I’d landed, and across the room. A sickening sensation formed in my stomach. No one had moved or said anything. Knowing I screwed up, I kept running, and crashed through the gym doors. I had to get away. The looks on their faces told me something was wrong. I did something wrong, but I had no idea what. I was done with this. Done pretending to be Martis. Surrounded by the four of them, if they knew what I really was, I’d be dead.
I ran down the dim halls, away from all of them. Eric’s footfalls came crashing down the hall behind me, increasingly faster. I pushed through the exterior door, running full out across the back lawn of the church. His fingers rustled the back of my shirt, before I turned sharply, narrowly evading his grasp.
“Ivy! Stop!” he called after me. But I wouldn’t stop. I had to run. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I didn’t want to see the betrayal on his face when he pieced everything together. Panting hard, I hurled my body out of his reach. I ran faster, lunging for the woods, knowing that it would be easier to lose him between the trees. Eric’s fingers wrapped around my arm, and he jerked me backwards. I felt my balance go off kilter, and couldn’t recover. My body came crashing down on the lawn at the edge of the forest. Eric pinned me. Squirming to roll over and twist out of his grip was pointless. His grip was iron clad.
Breathing heavily, he said, “Why’d you run? And by the way, I win.” He lowered himself and sat on my legs. I let out an exasperated noise, flexing every muscle in my body. Panic flooded me, and I tried to kick him off. My chest couldn’t suck in enough air fast enough. My arms flared, throwing punches wildly at him.
“Whoa, Ivy,” he said, pinning my arms to the ground. He hovered over me as I thrashed.
“Get off of me! Let me go!” I screamed. My heart raced so violently that I thought I’d die. Eric was breathing heavily, above me. He released my arms, but didn’t get up. I was still pinned to the ground. I closed my eyes, rubbing my hands across my face. He said nothing, and sat there, staring at me. I finally dropped my hands, noticing how stupid it would have been to run into the woods now. It was dark, and clouds obstructed the moonlight. Jake could be in there. Eric lifted himself off my legs, and sat next to me. He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, my voice rasped, “What? Go ahead. Say whatever you’re thinking.” My hand wiped beads of sweat off my forehead. I clenched my fists to hide how shaken I was.
Eric replied, somewhat stunned, “Okay. How’d you jump like that? I’ve never seen a Martis jump from that high before. It didn’t even look like a jump. It looked like you flew to the ground.” His amber eyes were burning holes in my face. I couldn’t look at him. The thought of lying to him made me sick—I hated it. But there was nothing else to do. The lies protected me, but the reality that I was different was surfacing. He’d know soon.
I continued picking the grass out of my hair, and cautiously looked at him out of the corner of my eye. Just say it, Ivy. He suspects something anyway. But I didn’t. I steeled my voice for another lie. “Jeeze, Eric. I don’t know. So, I can jump far. So what? I got lucky or something.”
Eric’s expression was unreadable. “I don’t know what that was, but it wasn’t luck.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
It was after six o’clock when Eric and I arrived back at the school for stage crew. I chattered, as usual, and he was quieter than usual. That worried me. Eric parted ways with me when we got to the stage. He went into the cage to do technical stuff, while I went to paint something. Something always needed to be painted, and I loved to paint. I grabbed a brush, looking forward to burying my bad mood in latex. Jenna Marie came up behind me. She had on a pink apron with bows on it. Her hair was slicked back into a ponytail.
She blurted out, “Ivy, are you dating Collin and Eric?” Shocked at her question, I choked on my spit. A few other perky girls I didn’t know loomed behind her. None of them ever needed coffee. They were naturally chipper.
I returned my gaze to Jenna Marie trying to regain my normal placidity. “No, Collin and I—we’re just friends. I’m dating Eric.” She was so insane. Changing the conversation, I asked, “So, what are we painting?”
Smiling she said, “Just finishing up some odds and ends. I was retouching the flats, but I need to do some tables. Will you finish for me?” She handed me her brush, and another pink apron.
“Yeah, sure.” I grabbed the brush, ignoring the offered apron. I walked to the flats that were laid out backstage.
Her voice called to me, “Not those ones. We got those already. I was retouching those flats.” Her delicate fingers pointed to the stage where seven out of nine flats where already erected. “Touch up the seams,” she said and walked off.
I saw the problem before I walked up there, but it was too late now. I’d volunteered to be within a stone’s throw of Collin. After avoiding each other for over a week, I ended up being right next to him. It was too late now. A few eyes were on me, so I walked up the wooden steps to the spot where Jenna Marie had indicated. With the brush in my hand, I wiggled behind the actors, careful not to get paint on them. I set myself down in front of the bucket of paint, and dipped the brush in.
I have no idea what happened after that. Collin was too close. It was like my brain melted and the only thing I was aware of was Collin Smith. His thoughts brushed against me softly, making my body lean toward him. I forced my spine straight and sat on my feet. I brushed strokes of black, and tried to tune him out. The more I tried, the worse it got. I finally moved a step away from him, over to the next flat. Then I moved to the next. When I was at the edge of the stage, I tried to snap the bond, but it wouldn’t give. I couldn’t leave. My heart bounced in my chest. Feeling his eyes on me, I wondered if he felt the same thing.
Yes. His voice brushed the inside my mind. It felt like a soft caress. I immediately wanted another. I had to get away from him. I needed to break the bond. If I could move my legs off the stage, and down the stairs, then it’d break it. Move! I commanded my legs, but they were aching to walk towards Collin.
I saw Eric watching me from across the stage. Something else was going on. His attention was on the actors. Suddenly the teacher’s voice cut through my mental haze. “Don’t come back until you’re serious! You’re messing up everyone else. Damn it! We’re two weeks away from opening night, Collin. You always pull it off at the last minute, but not this time. Get outta here and don’t come back until you’re ready.” A script was hurled at him. Collin caught it, and stormed off the stage.
I heard the metal door to the basement scrape open. They kept all the props and old sets down there in the school basement. The room was dark and musty, and directly under the stage. Collin’s voice whispered in my mind, Follow me.
Like I had a choice? The bond tugged sharply, propelling me toward him. My feet slowly walked down the stairs, not knowing what was happening. The lights were off. Proceeding into the blackness, I could feel Collin’s stormy mood, but I didn’t see him until I was on the lower landing.
He turned on me. “What the hell was that? What are you doing to me Ivy?” His eyes were wide, and I could sense his fear.
Trying to stay calm, I answered, “I’m not doing it, Collin. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me? It’s getting worse. Isn’t it?”
His eyes were fierce as he looked at me. “Yes,” he snapped. After a moment, his expression softened. “I stayed away because of this and because of the other night with the fountain. I didn’t think you’d talk to me anytime soon.” He took a step away, and ran his fingers through his hair. “It is much worse, Ivy. I can’t even be near you without wanting to… damn it!” A surge of anger flowed into me through the bond. Collin, who was always so controlled, was losing it.
“Without wanting to what?” I stood in front of him, and looked up at his face. Everything was flowing through the bond. Nothing was hidden. I felt his heart racing and the tightness in his chest. He knew I was scared, too. I coul
dn’t hide it.
His eyes were the same vivid blue that I’d only seen once before. His words were spoken so softly—like he was ashamed. “Ivy, I want to touch you. To taste you. Kiss you.” His fingers lingered, as he reached for my face, but he promptly folded his arms again.
Butterflies swirled in my stomach, as he spoke. I looked up into his eyes, unable to speak. His muscles were flexed tightly, and his breathing was short and hard. He curled his fingers into fists and tucked them into the nooks in his elbows, before turning away from me. He was trying not to kiss me? That was the source of his anguish—the kiss.
Oh God. A chill ran down my spine. Suddenly I knew why my skin prickled when I was around him. I knew why he wouldn’t kiss me. I knew why he tried to avoid me. No. He couldn’t be. His emotions flooded the bond. Waves crashed into me. The sound of my voice, the curve of my neck, and the scent of my skin… His desire was so intense that he could barely control it. He wanted to press his lips to mine, and feel my silky flesh. Run his fingers over my cheek and thread his hands in my hair. But there was something raw under it. It wasn’t passion, the way I’d thought. It reminded me of something else. Like the elation on a cat’s face, as it paws a mouse to death. My stomach sank. It was like he wanted to…
“Oh God… ” I stepped away from him. When I did, the bond tightened, holding me in place. My heart was racing. I wanted to run up the stairs, but I was frozen in front of him.
“I couldn’t hide it forever, not with us like this.” His hand pushed his hair back and I saw it. A scarlet patch of marred skin—the Valefar scar. Trembling, I tried to control myself. His intensity didn’t change. The look of wanting on his face didn’t fade. “And I already know what you are. It’s why I didn’t kiss you. It’s why I had to stay away. But damn it! You did this!” He took a step toward me, blue eyes blazing. “I don’t want to kill you, Ivy. Release me. You can’t hold me like this.”
I took a step back, but the bond tightened and became as rigid as steel cables. It held me to the spot, stunned. In front of me was my enemy. And my best friend. Damn it!
I suppressed the panic that wanted to dominate me. I was sick of being dominated. By grief. Fear. Lust—or whatever this was. In a steady voice I said, “I swear to God. I did not do this.” My heart hammered in my chest. I smoothed my prickled skin, and wrapped my arms around myself. I looked up into his panicked face. “You’re really one of them—a Valefar. Aren’t you?” Saying it made the horrible truth solidify. I couldn’t believe it, but the truth was staring me in the face.
His eyes flashed and a ring of crimson formed around the blue. He came at me, hissing in my face, “Yes, of course I am. What else would I be? And you! You’re so new I can smell it. And you decided to ensnare me? Are you crazy? I can’t function when you’re around. What did you do?!” My thundering heart beat wildly in my chest. His heartbeat echoed through the bond. I could feel blood pumping, and wasn’t sure if it was mine or his.
“We can fix this. We can.” My voice was shaking. I couldn’t help it. “We have to figure out what it wants. I didn’t make the bond. Neither of us did. We just need to figure out how to break it.”
“It’ll break, if I kiss you.” He pulled me to him. I froze in his arms. Fear surged through me. I remembered Jake’s lips on me, and the way my soul screamed, as it was ripped from my bones. Memories of the pain flooded through me. A pained expression came over Collin. He released me and stepped away. I shivered, waiting for him to come at me again. But he didn’t.
“I don’t want to kill you, Ivy.” His weary face looked at mine. He swallowed, “I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you, but your soul is so powerful. It can’t be ignored. It calls to me. It’s like trying to resist every lust you’ve ever suffered—all at once. I feel that every time I see you. The only reason I haven’t given in, is because I was free to choose. I chose to let you live. But you trapped me.” His face contorted, “Now the lust calls to me non-stop. I can’t control myself much longer. Ivy, you have to break it. Now.”
I tried to pull myself away from him. He felt my will resist his. I attempted to walk up the stairs and leave him behind. I pictured my feet running away, and leaving him here. But it didn’t matter. The only thing that mental pictures did was show him I wanted to leave without him. The images seemed to settle him.
He finally sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall. His fingers ran through his dark hair, and he closed his eyes. I sat on the bottom step and stared at him. The pull to kiss him consumed me, even knowing what he was. A stupid idea filled my mind. It was a way to snap the bond temporarily. “Do you trust me?”
He looked at me for a moment. His feelings flooded the bond. He was tired. I knew he needed to get away from me, and I knew that what I was going to do would make it harder for him. He tensed when he felt my intention. “That’s not a good idea.”
“I have to. It’s what the bond has wants me to do. The more I resist, the worse it gets.” Fear and longing were growing together. I couldn’t think about it. I needed to act quickly before I lost my nerve. But I wasn’t sure about Collin. It might push him over the edge. “Can you be still?”
His eyes shifted to mine. His voice whispered in my mind. I think I can. But Ivy, I can’t resist you much longer. If this works, if the bond snaps, don’t stay. Run away from me.
I nodded, and rose off the dirty step and kneeled in front of Collin. I moved slowly. My hands trembled. He could feel my fear. My breath caught in my throat. I tried to push the panic back into my stomach. I touched his face softly, feeling his body tense under my hands. I sucked in a scared gasp, as the tingling sensation I’d come to expect flooded us with a jolt of ice and heat. Once it subsided it felt like we were the same person. I felt Collin’s fear, and his control was loosening. His primal needs were going to win. I could sense it. I kept my hand on his face and whispered to his mind, Be still. His inner urge to destroy me didn’t respond. Instead the bond pulled me to him. All the way. I leaned into his chest, and my face went where the bond led me. My lips swept softly against his cheek. Collin’s eyes closed on contact. The softness of his skin against my lips calmed me. The sensation flooded me like magic. It felt like pixie dust was poured into my veins. I felt powerful. Lighthearted. And more connected to Collin.
The kiss sated his hunger. He relished the sensation of my lips on his skin. I lingered for a moment before backing away. When I pulled back, I could feel the bond go slack. It felt like the steel cables that held us together unwound in a snapping motion. I knew I could leave. But I stayed wondering why he didn’t destroy me when he could have?
Collin’s eyes popped open. The blue was totally gone, replaced with eyes that looked like blood pooling with fire. He brushed one word against my mind. Run.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“So. What happened?” Sister Al held a cup of hot tea in her hands.
“You were wrong!” I said hysterically. “The bond is bad. Like way bad. It’s gonna kill me!” I didn’t make much sense when I first got there. My hands were flying, my heart was ready to explode, and words were pouring out of my mouth in incoherent ramblings. Sister Al’s remedy was to shove a steaming drink in my shaking hands.
“Hmm,” she said. “I coulda been wrong. Cause you didn’t tell me everything. What’d ya leave out, Ivy? Anything—important?” She looked calm, and pursed her wrinkled lips to blow on her hot tea. I shifted in my seat, and made an argh noise as I pulled my hair a little. Sister Al kept talking, “Anything about, I don’t know, saying bad words? Lying? And stuff like that? I’ve heard dirty words before, ya know. Nuns got ears, girl.”
My heart hammered in my chest. I couldn’t stand it anymore. She beat me down. She won. I simply nodded and said, “Yup. Stuff like that.”
A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, and she put her cup down. “It’s about time. Do you know how hard it is to think of metaphors for being what you are? Pies. Bah. I was down to nothing with that one. So spill girl. I swore to
protect you—I don’t lie. I will protect you no matter what words fly outa your mouth right now.”
I looked around the room. Only one thought kept me from spilling everything right then. “What about Julia?”
Al straightened in her chair. “Julia means well, but she ain’t here. And she ain’t my boss. My boss hasn’t been seen for over two hundred years. And no, I didn’t see that coming.” She laughed at her own joke. “I’m as high up as you can get in my branch of things. And no one is above me. So, what I say goes. And I say you have my protection. So you do.”
I paused, looking at my teacup. “Julia scares me. But I need help. I’ll be dead tomorrow if I don’t get it. Julia will kill me the next day if she finds out.” I paused. My face was pained, but I couldn’t hide it anymore. “I’m tainted. I was marked as a Martis. It was blue that first night.” I took a huge breath and blurted it out. “But now, it’s not. It turned purple.” I pulled my comb from my hair and pushed back my hacked off bangs, showing her the mark.
She lowered her cup to the table and said, “Oh my. I had no idea,” totally deadpan.