Read Die Nilbraut. English Page 16


  CHAPTER XVI.

  When Philippus had parted from Paula he had told her that the Mukaukasmight indeed die at any moment, but that it was possible that he mightyet struggle with death for weeks to come. This hope had comforted her;for she could not bear to think that the only true friend she had hadin Memphis, till she had become more intimate with the physician, shouldquit the world forever without having heard her justification.Nothing could be more unlikely than that any one in Neforis'household--excepting her little grandchild should ever remember her withkindness; and she scarcely desired it; but she rebelled against the ideaof forfeiting the respect she had earned, even in the governor's house.If her friend should succeed in prolonging her uncle's life, by aconfidential interview with him she might win back his old affection andhis good opinion.

  Her new home she felt was but a resting-place, a tabernacle in thedesert-journey of her solitary pilgrimage, and she here meant toavail herself of the information she had gathered from her Melchitedependents. Hope had now risen supreme in her heart over griefand disappointment. Orion's presence alone hung like a threateninghail-cloud over the sprouting harvest of her peace of mind. And yet,next to the necessity of waiting at Memphis for the return of hermessenger, nothing tied her to the place so strongly as her interestin watching the future course of his life, at any rate from adistance. What she felt for him-and she told herself it was deepaversion-nevertheless constituted a large share of her inner life,little as she would confess it to herself.

  Her new hosts had received her as a welcome guest, and they certainlydid not seem to be poor. The house was spacious, and though it was oldand unpretentious it was comfortable and furnished with artistic taste.The garden had amazed her by the care lavished on it; she had seena hump-backed gardener and several children at work in it. A strangeparty-for every one of them, like their chief, was in some way deformedor crippled.

  The plot of ground--which extended towards the river to the road-wayfor foot passengers, vehicles and the files of men towing theNile-boats--was but narrow, and bounded on either side by extensivepremises. Not far from the spot where it lay nearest to the river wasthe bridge of boats connecting Memphis with the island of Rodah. Tothe right was the magnificent residence--a palace indeed--belongingto Susannah; to the left was an extensive grove, where tall palms,sycamores with spreading foliage, and dense thickets of blue-greentamarisk trees cast their shade. Above this bower of splendid shrubs andancient trees rose a long, yellow building crowned with a turret; andthis too was not unknown to her, for she had often heard it spoken ofin her uncle's house, and had even gone there now and then escorted byPerpetua. It was the convent of St. Cecilia, the refuge of the lastnuns of the orthodox creed left in Memphis; for, though all the othersisterhoods of her confession had long since been banished, these hadbeen allowed to remain in their old home, not only because they werefamous sick-nurses, a distinction common to all the Melchite orders,but even more because the decaying municipality could not afford tosacrifice the large tax they annually paid to it. This tax was theinterest on a considerable capital bequeathed to the convent by acertain wise predecessor of the Mukaukas', with the prudent proviso,ratified under the imperial seal of Theodosius II., that if the conventwere at any time broken up, this endowment, with the land and buildingswhich it likewise owed to the generosity of the same benefactor, shouldbecome the property of the Christian emperor at that time reigning.

  Mukaukas George, notwithstanding his well-founded aversion foreverything Melchite, had taken good care not to press this usefulSisterhood too hardly, or to deprive his impoverished capital of itsrevenues only to throw them into the hands of the wealthy Moslems. Thetitle-deed on which the Sisters relied was good; and the governor,who was a good lawyer as well as a just man, had not only left themunmolested, but in spite of his fears--during the last few years--forhis own safety, had shown himself no respecter of persons by defendingtheir rights firmly and resolutely against the powerful patriarch of theJacobite Church. The Senate of the ancient capital naturally, approvedhis course, and had not merely suffered the heretic Sisterhood toremain, but had helped and encouraged it.

  The Jacobite clergy of the city shut their eyes, and only opened them towatch the convent at Easter-tide; for on the Saturday before Easter, thenuns, in obedience to an agreement made before the Monophysite Schism,were required to pay a tribute of embroidered vestments to the head ofthe Christian Churches, with wine of the best vintages of Kochomenear the Pyramid of steps, and a considerable quantity of flowers andconfectionary. So the ancient coenobium of women was maintained, andthough all Egypt was by this time Jacobite or Moslem, and many of theolder Sisters had departed this life within the last year, no one hadthought of enquiring how it was that the number of the nuns remainedstill the same, till the Jacobite archbishop Benjamin filled thepatriarchal throne of Alexandria in the place of the Melchite Cyrus.

  To Benjamin the heretical Sisters at Memphis--the hawks in a dove-cote,as he called them--were an offence, and he thought that the deed mightbear a new interpretation: that as there was no longer a Christianemperor, and as the word "Christian" was used in the document, if theconvent were broken up the property should pass into the hands of theonly Christian magnate then existing in the country: himself, namely,and his Church. The ill-feeling which the Patriarch fostered against theMukaukas had been aggravated to hostility by their antagonism on thismatter.

  A musical dirge now fell on Paula's ear from the convent chapel. Wasthe worthy Mother Superior dead? No, this lament must be for some otherdeath, for the strange skirling wail of the Egyptian women came up toher corner window from the road, from the bridge, and from the boats onthe river. No Jacobite of Memphis would have dared to express her griefso publicly for the death of a Melchite; and as the chorus of voicesswelled, the thought struck her with a chill that it must be her uncleand friend who had closed his weary eyes in death.

  It was with deep emotion and many tears that she perceived how sincerelythe death of this righteous man was bewailed by all his fellow-citizens.Yes, he only, and no other Egyptian, could have called forth this greatand expressive regret. The wailing women in the road were daubing themud of the river on their foreheads and bosoms; men were standingin large groups and beating their heads and breasts with passionategestures. On the bridge of boats the men would stop others, and fromthence, too, piercing shrieks came across to her.

  At last Philippus came in and confirmed her fears. The governor's deathhad shocked him no less than it did her, and he had to tell Paula all heknew of the dead man's last hours.

  "Still, one good thing has come out of this misery," he said. "Thereis nothing so comforting as the discovery that we have been deceived inthinking ill of a man and of his character. This Orion, who has sinnedso basely against himself and against you, is not utterly reprobate."

  "Not?" interrupted Paula. "Then he has taken you in too!"

  "Taken me in?" said the leech. "Hardly, I think. I have, alas! stoodby many a death-bed; for I am too often sent for when Death is alreadybeckoning the sick man away. I have met thousands of mourners in thesemelancholy scenes, which, I can assure you, are the very best schoolfor training any one who desires to search the hearts of hisfellow-creatures. By the bed of death, or in the mart, where everythingis a question of Mine and Thine, it is easy to see how some--we forinstance--are as careful to hide from the world all that is great andnoble in us as others are to conceal what is petty and mean--we readmen's hearts as an open page. From my observations of the dying and ofthose who sorrow for them, I, who am not Menander not Lucian, could drawa series of portraits which should be as truthful likenesses as thoughthe men had turned themselves inside out before me."

  "That a dying man should show himself as he really is I can wellbelieve," replied Paula. "He need have no further care for the opinionsof others; but the mourners? Why, custom requires them to assume an airof grief and to shed tears."

  "Very true; regret repeats itself by the side of the dead," repliedthe physici
an. "But the chamber of the dying is like a church. Deathconsecrates it, and the man who stands face to face with death oftendrops the mask by which he cheats his fellows. There we may see faceswhich you would shudder to look on, but others, too, which merely to seeis enough to make us regard the degenerate species to which we belongwith renewed respect."

  "And you found such a comforting vision in Orion,--the thief, the falsewitness, the corrupt judge!" exclaimed Paula, starting up in indignantastonishment.

  "There! you see," laughed Philippus. "Just like a woman! A littlejuggling, and lo! what was only rose color is turned to purple. No. Theson of the Mukaukas has not yet undergone such a dazzling change of hue;but he has a feeling and impressible heart--and I hold even that inhigh esteem. I have no doubt that he loved his father deeply, naypassionately; though I have ample reason to believe him capable of thevery worst. So long as I was present at the scene of death the fatherand son were parting in all friendship and tenderness, and when the goodold man's heart had ceased to beat I found Orion in a state which isonly possible to have when love has lost what it held dearest."

  "All acting!" Paula put in.

  "But there was no audience, dear friend. Orion would not have got upsuch a performance for his mother and little Mary."

  "But he is a poet--and a highly-gifted one too. He sings beautiful songsof his own invention to the lyre; his ecstatic and versatile mind workshim up into any frame of feeling; but his soul is perverted; it issoaked in wickedness as a sponge drinks up water. He is a vessel fullof beautiful gifts, but he has forfeited all that was good and noble inhim--all!"

  The words came in eager haste from her indignant lips. Her cheeks glowedwith her vehemence, and she thought she had won over the physician; buthe gravely shook his head, and said:

  "Your righteous anger carries you too far. How often have you blamed mefor severity and suspicions but now I have to beg you to allow me to askyour sympathy for an experience to which you would probably have raisedno objection the day before yesterday:

  "I have met with evil-doers of every degree. Think, for instance, howmany cases of wilful poisoning I have had to investigate."

  "Even Homer called Egypt the land of poison," exclaimed Paula. "Andit seems almost incredible that Christianity has not altered it in theleast. Kosmas, who had seen the whole earth, could nowhere find moremalice, deceit, hatred, and ill-will than exist here."

  "Then you see in what good schools my experience of the wickednessof men has ripened," said Philippus smiling, "and they have taughtme chiefly that there is never a criminal, a sinner, or a scapegrace,however infamous he may be, however cruel or lost to virtue, in whomsome good quality or other may not be discovered.--Do you rememberNechebt, the horrible woman who poisoned her two brothers and her ownfather? She was captured scarcely three weeks ago; and that very monsterin human form could almost die of hunger and thirst for the sake of herrascally son, who is a common soldier in the imperial army; at last shetook to concocting poisons, not to improve her own wretched condition,but to send the shameless wretch means for a fresh debauch. I have knowna thousand similar cases, but I will only mention that of one of thewildest and blood-thirstiest of robbers, who had evaded the vigilance ofthe watch again and again, but at last fell into their hands--and how?Because he had heard that his old mother was ill and he longed to seethe withered old woman once more and give her a kiss, since he was herown child! In the same way Orion, however reprobate we may think him,has at any rate one characteristic which we must approve of: a tenderaffection for his father and mother. Your sponge is not utterly steepedin wickedness; there are still some pores, some cells which resist it;and if in him, as in so many others, the heart is one of them, then Isay hopefully, like Horace the Roman: 'Nil desperandum.' It would beunjust to give him up altogether for lost."

  To this assurance Paula found no answer; indeed, it struck her that--ifOrion had told her the truth--it was only to please his mother thathe had asked Katharina to marry him, while she herself occupied hisheart.--The physician, wishing to change the subject, was about to speakagain of the death of the Mukaukas, when one of the crippled servinggirls came to announce a woman who asked to speak with Paula. A fewminutes later she was clasped in the embrace of her faithful old friendand nurse, who rejoiced as heartily, laughing and crying for sheerdelight, as if no tidings of misfortune had reached her; while Paula,though so much younger, was cut to the heart, and could not shake offthe spell of her grief.

  Perpetua understood this and owed her no grudge for the coolness withwhich she met her joyful excitement.

  She told Paula that she had been well treated in her hot cell, and thatabout half an hour since Orion himself, the young Master now, had openedthe door of her prison. He had been very gracious to her, but lookedso pale and sad. The overbearing young man was quite altered; his eyes,which were dim with weeping, had moved her, Perpetua, to tears. Shetrusted that God would forgive him for his sins against herself andPaula; he must have been possessed by some evil demon; he had not beenat all like himself; for he had a kind, warm heart, and though he hadbeen so hard and unjust yesterday to poor Hiram he had made it up to himthe first thing this morning, and had not only let him out of prisonbut had sent him and his son home to Damascus with large gifts and twohorses. Nilus had told her this. He who hoped to be forgiven by hisneighbor must also be ready to forgive. The great Augustine, even, hadbeen no model of virtue in his youth and yet he had become a shininglight in the Church; and now the son of the Mukaukas would tread in hisfather's footsteps. He was a handsome, engaging man, who would be thejoy of their hearts yet, they might be very sure. Why, he had been asgrave and as solemn as a bishop to-day; perhaps he had already turnedover a new leaf. He himself had put her into his mother's chariot anddesired the charioteer to drive her hither: what would Paula say tothat? Her things were to be given over to her to-morrow morning, andpacked under her own eyes, and sent after her. Nilus, the treasurer, hadcome with her to deliver a message to Paula; but he had gone first tothe convent.

  Paula desired the old woman to go thither and fetch him; as soon asPerpetua had left the room, she exclaimed:

  "There, you see, is some one who is quite of your opinion. Whatcreatures we are! Last evening my good Betta would have thought no pitof hell too deep for our enemy, and now? To be led to a chariot by sucha fine gentleman in person is no doubt flattering; and how quickly theold body has forgotten all her grievances, how soothed and satisfiedshe is by the gracious permission to pack her precious and cherishedpossessions with her own hands.--You told me once that the Jacobites hadmade a Saint Orion out of the pagan god Osiris, and my old Betta sees afuture Saint Augustine in the governor's son. I can see that she alreadyregards him as her tutelary patron, and when we get back to Syria, shewill be begging me to join her in a pilgrimage to his shrine!"

  "And you will perhaps consent," replied the physician, to whom Paula atthis moment, for the first time since his heart had glowed with lovefor her, did not seem to be quite what a man looks for in the woman headores. Hitherto he had seen and heard nothing that was not high-mindedand worthy of her; but her last words had, been spoken with vehement andindignant irony--and in Philip's opinion irony, blame which was intendedto wound and not to improve its object, was unbecoming in a noble woman.The scornful laugh, with which she had triumphantly ended her speech,had opened as it were a wide abyss between his mind and hers. He, ashe freely confessed to himself, was of a coarser and humbler grain thanPaula, and he was apt to be satirical oftener than was right. She hadbeen wont to dislike this habit in him; he had been glad that she did;it answered to the ideal he had formed of what the woman he loved shouldbe. But now she had turned satirical; and her irony was no jest of thelips. It sprang, full of passion, from her agitated soul; this it wasthat grieved the leech who knew human nature, and at the same timeroused his apprehensions. Paula read his disapproval in his face, andfelt that there was a deep significance in his words, "And you willperhaps consent."

  "Men are vexed," t
hought she, "when, after they have decisivelyexpressed an opinion, we women dare unhesitatingly to assert a differentone," so, as she would on no account hurt the feelings of the friend towhom she owed so much, she said kindly:

  "I do not care to enquire into the meaning of your strangeprognostication. Thank God, by your kindness and care I have severedevery tie that could have bound me to my poor uncle's son!--Now we willdrop the subject; we have said too much about him already."

  "That is quite my opinion," replied Philippus. "And, indeed, I would begyou quite to forget my 'perhaps.' I live wholly in the present and am noprophet; but I foresee, nevertheless, that Orion will make every effort,cost what it may...."

  "Well?"

  "To approach you again, to win your forgiveness, to touch your heart,to...."

  "Let him dare" exclaimed Paula lifting her hand with a threateninggesture.

  "And when he, gifted as he is in every way, has found his better selfagain and can come forward purified and worthy of the approbation of thebest...."

  "Still I will never, never forget how he has sinned and what he broughtupon me!--Do you think that I have already forgotten your conversationwith Neforis? You ask nothing of your friends but honest feeling akinto your own,--and what is it that repels me from Orion but feeling?Thousands have altered their behavior, but--answer me frankly--surelynot what we mean by their feeling?"

  "Yes, that too," said the leech with stern gravity. "Feeling, too, maychange. Or do you range yourself on the side of the Arab merchantand his fellow-Moslems, who regard man as the plaything of a blindFate?--But our spiritual teachers tell us that the evil to which we arepredestined, which is that born into the world with us, may be averted,turned and guided to good by what they call spiritual regeneration. Butwho that lives in the tumult of the world can ever succeed in 'killinghimself' in their sense of the word, in dying while yet he lives, to beborn again, a new man? The penitent's garb does not suit the stature ofan Orion; however, there is for him another way of returning to the pathhe has lost. Fortune has hitherto offered her spoilt favorite so muchpleasure, that sheer enjoyment has left him no time to think seriouslyon life itself; now she is showing him its graver side, she is invitinghim to reflect; and if he only finds a friend to give him the counselwhich my father left in a letter for me, his only child, as a youth--andif he is ready to listen, I regard him as saved."

  "And that word of counsel--what is it?" asked Paula with interest.

  "To put it briefly, it is this: Life is not a banquet spread by fate forour enjoyment, but a duty which we are bound to fulfil to the best ofour power. Each one must test his nature and gifts, and the better heuses them for the weal and benefit of the body of which he was born amember, the higher will his inmost gladness be, the more certainly willhe attain to a beautiful peace of mind, the less terrors will Death havefor him. In the consciousness of having sown seed for eternity he willclose his eyes like a faithful steward at the end of each day, and ofthe last hour vouchsafed to him on earth. If Orion recognizes this,if he submits to accept the duties imposed on him by existence, ifhe devotes himself to them now for the first time to the best of hispowers, a day may come when I shall look up to him with respect--nay,with admiration. The shipwreck of which the Arab spoke has overtakenhim. Let us see how he will save himself from the waves, and behave whenhe is cast on shore."

  "Let us see!" repeated Paula, "and wish that he may find such anadviser! As you were speaking it struck me that it was my part.--Butno, no! He has placed himself beyond the pale of the compassion whichI might have felt even for an enemy after such a frightful blow. He! Hecan and shall never be anything to me till the end of time. I have tothank you for having found me this haven of rest. Help me now to keepout everything that can intrude itself here to disturb my peace. IfOrion should ever dare, for whatever purpose, to force or steal a wayinto this house, I trust to you, my friend and deliverer!"

  She held out her hand to Philippus, and as he took it the blood seethedin his veins with tender emotion.

  "My strength, like my heart, is wholly yours!" he exclaimed ardently."Command them, and if the devoted love of a faithful, plain-spokenman--"

  "Say no more, no, no!" Paula broke in with anxious vehemence. "Let usremain closely bound together by friendship-as brother and sister."

  "As brother and sister?" he dully echoed with a melancholy smile. "Aye,friendship too is a beautiful, beautiful thing. But yet--let me speak--Ihave dreamed of love, the tossing sea of passion; I have felt its surgeshere--in here; I feel them still.... But man, man," and he struck hisforehead with his fist, "have you forgotten, like a fool, what yourimage is in the mirror; have you forgotten that you are an ugly, clumsyfellow, and that the gorgeous flower you long for...."

  Paula had shrunk back, startled by her friend's vehemence; but shenow went up to him, and taking his hand with frank spirit, she saidimpressively:

  "It is not so, Philippus, my dear, kind, only friend. The gorgeousflower you desire I can no longer give you--or any one. It is mine nolonger; for when it had opened, once for all, cruel feet trod it down.Do not abuse your mirrored image; do not call yourself a clumsy fellow.The best and fairest might be proud of your love, just as you are. Am Inot proud, shall I not always be proud of your friendship?"

  "Friendship, friendship!" he retorted, snatching away his hand. "Thisburning, longing heart thirsts for other feelings! Oh, woman! I know thewretch who has trodden down the flower of flowers in your heart, and I,madman that I am, can sing his praises, can take his part; and cost whatit may, I will still do so as long as you.... But perhaps the gloriousflower may strike new roots in the soil of hatred and I, the haplesswretch who water it, may see it."

  At this, Paula again took both his hands, and exclaimed in deep andpainful agitation of mind:

  "Say no more, I beg and entreat you. How can I live in peace here, underyour protection and in constant intercourse with you, without knowingmyself guilty of a breach of propriety such as the most sacred feelingsof a young girl bid her avoid, if you persist in overstepping the limitswhich bound true and faithful friendship? I am a lonely girl and shouldgive myself up to despair, as lost, if I could not take refuge in thebelief that I can rely upon myself. Be satisfied with what I have tooffer you, my friend, and may God reward you! Let us both remain worthyof the esteem which, thank Heaven! we are fully justified in feeling foreach other."

  The physician, deeply moved, bent his head; scarcely able to controlhimself, he pressed her firm white hand to his lips, while, just at thismoment, Perpetua and the treasurer came into the room.

  This worthy official--a perfectly commonplace man, neither tall norshort, neither old nor young, with a pale, anxious face, furrowed bywork and responsibility, but shrewd and finely cut-glanced keenly at thepair, and then proceeded to lay a considerable sum in gold piecesbefore Paula. His young master had sent it, in obedience to his deceasedfather's wishes, for her immediate needs; the rest, the larger part ofher fortune, with a full account, would be given over to her after theMukaukas was buried. Nilus could, however, give her an approximate ideaof the sum, and it was so considerable that Paula could not believe herears. She now saw herself secure against external anxiety, nay, in suchease that she was justified in living at some expense.

  Philippus was present throughout the interview, and it cut him to theheart. It had made him so happy to think that he was all in all to thepoor orphan, and could shelter her against pressing want. He had beenprepared to take upon himself the care of providing Paula with the homeshe had found and everything she could need; and now, as it turned out,his protege was not merely higher in rank than himself, but much richer.

  He felt as though Orion's envoy had robbed him of the best joy in life.After introducing Paula to her worthy host and his family, he quittedthe house of Rufinus with a very crushed aspect.

  When night came Perpetua once more enjoyed the privilege of assistingher young mistress to undress; but Paula could not sleep, and whenshe joined her new friends next mornin
g she told herself that here, ifanywhere, was the place where she might recover her lost peace, but thatshe must still have a hard struggle and a long pilgrimage before shecould achieve this.