Chapter 4
I was a little worried all that week and anxiously checked the mailbox every morning. On Friday morning there was an excited knock at the door and I opened it to find my darling little eight-year-old granddaughter with a little purple suitcase in one hand and a stack of envelopes in the other. I waved goodbye to my son and daughter-in-law and as they drove off swooped Jenny into my arms.
“I got the mail for you Grandpa,” Jenny piped.
“Oh thanks sweetie,” I said. As I looked down at the little handful of letters, to my alarm, there on the top was the white envelope with gold print; I don’t know how I didn’t notice it at first. She handed the letters to me and I set her down as I tried to grasp the letter to slip it in my back pocket.
As I grabbed the letter off the top she said, “That one’s pretty isn’t it Grandpa?”
I froze.
“Yes it is.” Apprehensively I hesitated, slowly I responded, “I think they think it’s easier to send me a letter, saying I have to pay more money in taxes, if the letter looks all pretty. Did your parents make you breakfast yet?” I said trying to change the subject, but it was no use.
“Yes, they said they weren’t sure if Jane had already left yet and didn’t want to make you ‘try and cook something’, that’s what they said at least. Are you sure that letter is taxes? My parents pay taxes and they never get pretty letters like that one.”
“It’s only once you pay taxes your whole life, and they know that they’ve taken a lot of your money. That’s when they start to feel bad about it, and they start sending pretty envelopes. And by the way, your mom and dad would be surprised; I have been practicing cooking lately.”
“Can I open the letter for you grandpa?”
“Taxes are depressing. You want to help me practice cooking in the kitchen?”
“What are we practicing for?” She asked now sounding more interested which was a relief.
“So your mom and dad don’t make fun of your poor old grandpa for not knowing how to cook. Now go run and wash your hands in the bathroom and we’ll get started.”
She ran off to the bathroom and as soon as she shut the door I ripped open the envelope and scanned the letter, it looked about the same. I heard the water shut off and so I tucked the letter away in a random book on the shelf.
I had already told Jane and Welton earlier that they could have the whole weekend off. I don’t know what would happen if I broke a direct order from the letter and let someone else see the party. If everyone from the other side seemed so mild tempered, forgiving and non-judgmental; maybe the repercussions wouldn’t be that grave, but I can’t help but think obeying must be the better option.
It might have been my whole life I was building up the trust for which I was given this commission of writing; I would hate to lose all that trust in one evening.
Well, there is still time, and all is not lost. Maybe by helping me prepare the food, and if we eat early, I doubt she will eat that much, but maybe it will be enough to help her fall asleep before the guests arrive. I know even when we would have Sunday dinner at three in the evening; I still would be asleep before five. My body would just start shutting down. Sometimes I would barely make it to the couch in the living room before I was fast asleep.
Ann would always tease me during dinner, “Now when your eyelids start getting heavy just head towards the couch, that way you at least make it to the carpet. One of these days you’ll end up falling asleep on the floor.”
It probably sounds a little exaggerated, but actually it is pretty accurate. Even making it to the couch, she would sit down by me and run her fingers through my hair. That was usually the last thing I remember from a Sunday evenings until I would wake up late in the evening to see the table cleared and all of the dishes done. Not that I fear being in debt to someone, especially someone I love, but I was always trying to push the scale over to her side at least once.
Ledgers are something I don’t believe in. I don’t think she did either, but she would stand in front of the sink and try to block me from the dirty dishes, I would just stand behind her and reach around as if she had two more arms. Oh how I miss her…
Jenny came out of the bathroom and running down the hall stopped in front of me, “Ready!” She exclaimed.
“Alright then, first things first, let’s start peeling potatoes.” I got the potatoes out and she washed them and we both started peeling. We had both peeled about three potatoes, I reached for another one and she asked, “How many are we peeling?”
“All of them.” I replied.
“The whole sack!? How much soup are we making?”
“It’s going to be a banquet, we can pretend right?”
“Okay,” she said probably thinking, “silly grandpa.”
“I say we set the table and pretend it is full of guests. Who would you invite if you could invite anyone?” I asked.
“God,” she said without hesitating, “and my mom and dad. And Uncle Jim, and Suzy, and my new little brother that’s not here yet. Well, my dad says he thinks he’s a boy but my mom says I might have a little sister.”
“Wow, that’s quite the group!” I said blown away by how quickly and how so confidently she threw out the answer, as if she had already considered the question. I wish now looking back I would have asked if she had thought about the question before.
“And what would we all talk about?” I asked.
“Everything.” She replied as if the answer was simple. I still wonder what she meant by “everything.”
The first dinner party I felt sheepish that I didn’t think of any questions for the guests, I again I felt sheepish I hadn’t thought who I wished would come; not that I probably had any influence over who came, but I should have at least considered the idea.
We prepared a wonderful dinner and I may have suggested she have two helpings of cobbler dessert. It all together was just enough; because I saw her eyelids start to get heavy. I suggested that she go to bed early so that we could start on the next day bright and early, maybe go to the zoo. To my relief she did go to bed.
She changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth. When I heard the faucet upstairs turn off I went up and tucked her in. I read her a short story and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She said she needed to go to the bathroom and I would have tucked her in again but I looked at the clock and it was seven on the dot.
It wasn’t a moment too late after I heard Jenny finish in the bathroom, and walk back to her room. I heard the springs in the mattress squeak for a few minutes and then all was quiet. I was on my way up the stairs to be sure she was asleep when I heard a light knock on the door.
(Just as the week before, one by one the guests arrived.) First Imhotep, Huangdi, Gudea, Jshel, Eurydice, Orpheus and Perue. As they came in they explained where they were from.
Imhotep said he was a doctor in Egypt while Djoser was pharaoh. Huangdi said he was also known as the yellow emperor, the first emperor of China. Gudea was ruler of Lagash, the southern part of Mesopotamia. Jshel lived in the Indus Valley. Eurydice and Orpheus are a married couple from ancient Greece. Perue was from ancient South America.
They were seated and I welcomed them all as I had welcomed the first group, but added an apology, “I feel that I am learning, though I am slightly more prepared than I was at the first dinner party, I still feel I’m lacking. I wish I was more prepared; it wasn’t until talking with my granddaughter this afternoon that I realized I hadn’t thought about who I hoped would be here.
I think that not knowing in every instance whether I will be asked to lead or follow, I should have been prepared to do either.
While talking with my granddaughter I became aware of what I had missed. I scrambling to think of what might be important to learn from tonight; not that I hadn’t thought about it during the week, but I found it challenging to not just to reminisce in the first party.
It was only minutes before your arrival that I settled on the ide
a that as far as who I would invite. I wished that I could see farther back in history than the first group. See how things started; how civilizations and empires arose. Well, whether the plan was, or was changed to be so; either way, here you all are, for that I’m grateful for that. I hope you enjoy the evening.”
“Thank you” Gudea said, “to add to your last comment, you forgot to propose the possibility, not that your thought had changed the plan for the future, but that your mind had found harmony with the future that was already in motion.
Whether we realize it or not, the future is always stacked in our favor; pondering is not so much for figuring out what will happen, but what we are intended to learn from it.
“Wow, I hadn’t considered that. That is quite the option.” I said and he smiled. Then I asked him, ”Do you think often about the future?”
“Well of course, why wouldn’t I?” Gudea responded.
“What good does it do to think of things that can’t be predicted and possibilities that may never come true…? I don’t mean that in a disputative way… I trust that you have your reasons, and they are good, but I ask so you know where I’m at. I trust you can help me along.”
“I will do all I can to help you along. Don’t worry, I never take offense. I realized years ago, that most of the time people don’t really mean to offend. If they do mean to… well they most likely are not very happy. The sadness I feel for their future is so great that there is no room for feeling offended.”
“A good rule of thumb I go by is that I can’t be angry with anyone I wouldn’t trade lives with.” Eurydice chimed in.
“And who would you trade lives with?” I asked.
“Well no one of course.” Eurydice said with a laugh.
“Why isn’t your rule of thumb not to get angry with anyone?” I asked.
“It’s easier to think of that way; it forces me to go through the rational thinking process of what’s important. In the moment the anger might seem important, but in context of the fact, that they probably have suffered more punishment for their offences before they even got to me, I feel it is not only not my place to worsen their condition, but it is unquestionably not my place to deal out my idea of justice.
I have never truly seen into another’s heart, only in a very temporal way have I walked by anyone’s side, through their trials, and their times of joy. The rule of thumb serves to allow myself time for clearer and purer considerations to make their way to the forefront of my mind.
I’ve found there are many little things I can do to help myself do what I already know I have to do anyways; whatever makes things easier.” Eurydice concluded.
“I see, like how I count on my fingers to not lose track,” I admitted.
We all had a good laugh, and then I remembered had gone off on a tangent. Through the dinner parties I realized tangents were unavoidable but entertaining, also incidentally very valuable.
So I asked, “What were you saying Gudea about the future?”
He smiled and said, “The most important thing to remember about the future is: The decisions you have made in the past have a great influence on the situation you are in now, and the situation you are in now, will have a great influence on the decisions you will make in the future.”
I just let it sink in for a minute, almost started to speak, but then thought for another minute. They all just smiled. Finally I formed my question, “So it’s not really fate but kind of?”
“Let’s just say that the fate of the future is not fixed. It is however a lot more narrow than we wish to imagine or admit. In fact the less we wish to imagine, the more narrow it is. We are all more like trains on tracks than on a horse in an open field.
A driver of a train may pretend, but he knows he doesn’t really steer the train as it runs down the rails. If we think we are, we are only fooling ourselves and wasting time; time that could be spent checking the map and calling ahead to know where we should change the switches, to make the best modification of course at the change points.
We have all bought tickets to different places, and if your ticket says France, then no matter where you think the train is heading at any given moment, you will end up in France. If the whole time you are saying you are headed to Sweden and don’t switch rails you can only blame yourself.
France is a good few years before your time.” I commented sarcastically
“I have family there… I keep close track of it” Gudea said and winked.
“Oh, that does make since then.” There was a pause of silence. “Wow it just dawned on me the magnitude of the time difference of Mesopotamia and France.” I said and chuckled. “But still the idea of fate and trains seems logical?”
Laughing Gudea defended, “we were pretty good with the whole ‘wheel concept’ in my day.”
I don’t know why it was so funny to me, but I do remember seeing for the first time an automobile and feeling mystified; the wheel must have been much the same for him. I did get my mind back on track and asked, “Before I forget, I do have some questions.”
“Alright let’s hear them.” Gudea encouraged.
“What would you say was the best and worst idea that emerged in your era?”
Thinking for a few moments Gudea started, “Ideas can be very helpful or very dangerous.
I would say the most dangerous idea of my time was the ‘nothing else matters’ mentality. It is very easy, especially in times of war or times of disaster, to slip into the ‘nothing else matters’ mentality. In those situations, very few things seem more important than saving your own life, but there is never a time when nothing else matters. There are things more important than preserving your physical body.
It is possible if we let life just happen to us that we will always find ourselves often in that defensive mode. We may then finish our lives and realize there wasn’t anything to defend that could really be taken, and much that could have been attained, even amidst war or famine that was left alone. It sounds harsh, but the world is trying to turn us into callous creatures adept only in violence, but that is not what we were put on earth to become. We were designed for much, much more,” Gudea concluded.
I agreed. “I did see that while I was in school. I got married my last year in college to the love of my life. I’m not the type of person who gets offended when people remind me of things, I actually really appreciate it. Ann was so good about keeping me on top of school, and well on top of everything. I feel I got the most out of those classes.
Many of my classmates also got married at some point during college, and it was interesting how they felt about it. There were others in my boat, but there were also some that seemed like they were in that ‘nothing else matters’ mode you were talking about. They had their academic goals, and seemed to think at some point once they were done with those goals, that other things could move up in the priorities list. They damaged their relationship with their spouses so much during that time. Some never really came out of it, which led to them getting divorces or just having sour relationships. They never had time for their kids either.” I said as kind of an opened ended question.
Gudea answered. “It is easy to think that we can just by trying, patch things up later when our children are older. It’s never too late to start patching things up, but it’s always better the earlier we do. It is a dangerous attitude to go into something the wrong way planning to change it later… historically that hasn’t worked out too well for very many people.”
“Before you start a long hike, putting on good shoes and then watching where you step as to not stub your toe is a good idea,” Perue joked.
“It seems like sometimes in life we shoot ourselves in the foot while we’re hiking.” Imhotep interjected.
“Well I know I have in different ways,” I confessed.
“Not with your wife or kids from what I hear,” Eurydice relayed smiling.
“Thanks, I sure tried, but I still feel I could have done so much better,” I confessed.
>
It seemed there was a unanimous agreement to that statement. the Yellow Emperor Huangdi then spoke. “What other questions do you have Mr. Parker?”
“Actually I did have one for you that I’ve been thinking about.”
“Alright.”
“If you were the first emperor, how did that happen? I mean, for you to be an emperor, there had to be an empire, and there empires don’t just appear.”
He laughed, “no, empires just don’t appear, nothing just appears. There have been times and in places there still are, where the forest is the only market place available. You want a cup of water? Dig yourself up some clay, and start building a fire…”
“I didn’t actually make these cups,” I said holding my cup up and satirically hung my head a little lower.”
“It is nice that they hold water, and the water still tastes like water.”
“Humanity has overcome some big obstacles that now are easy to take for granted.”
“We have overcome some big obstacles, and I believe there are still many more yet to overcome.
“So how did you overcome the obstacle of detached humanity?” I asked.
“I don’t think I could take credit for that. I think that is still the main obstacle we have yet to overcome.”
“True, well what would you say helped you to be a leader?”
Huangdi thought for a few moments and then answered, “More than any other thing, I think it was a combination of perspective and discipline. I never knew my father, for a long time I didn’t even know what a father was or could be. I would see other children like me with mothers like mine, and that seemed normal to me. Then one day a young man and a young woman came to our village and looked as if they would do no harm, so the people let them live there with us. Everyone in the village would wonder why they were always with each other… Pardon me; I forgot to ask if you wanted the short answer or the whole story.”
“The whole story of course!” I urged.
He smiled and continued. “I am really glad you appreciate this opportunity. I’ll try not to disappoint. Back to the young man and woman, I didn’t know it at the time, I was young, but I think that I could feel that it was because of love that they were always together; just like why my mother was always with me. I would watch them and they would work as a team. They built a hut and would go to find food together. As I grew a little older I wished that we could all be that way, working together.
There was no use in everyone doing everything by themselves. Many women had found good wild plants and planted them by their huts, and the men would go off together for long periods of time hunting.
Inspired by the young couple I told many people of a dream I had to plant many plants all in the same place, enough to feed the whole village. Everyone was so busy and unenthusiastic it was hard to share the vision. I tried and I tried for a year and realized no one would help me, so I decided to do it myself. I went quite a distance upstream of the village and found a flat plot of ground. I dug a trail from the stream to the ground that went all the way around the plot, and then I placed a big rock to stop or unstop the water.
The whole time I had been collecting seeds of all kinds. I planted them all in the plot of land and every morning and every evening I would pull the rock from its place and soak the ground. It all started to grow, but so did my pride, and with that my selfishness.
I figured if no one wanted to help me then they didn’t deserve any part of the harvest. At the time the fruit started to ripen, the young lady got sick and her husband was always by her side to take care of her. The little he had he gave to her. Witnessing his love for her inspired me, so I picked some of the fruit I had planted and gave some to them. I did this for a few days and it felt so good. Then I noticed someone else in the village that was sick and gave them food also. Then a big group came back empty handed from the long hunt and everyone was sad.
I quickly used the makeshift sled I had built, and loaded it as full as I could with the goods from the garden and dragged it down to the village. Everyone was very surprised but also very grateful. There was a party and we all feasted, with all the excitement no one had thought to ask me, but the next day they asked where I got all of the fruit. They were all amazed when I showed them the garden and how removing the rock let the water flow.
Since that day the whole village looked to me to organize them and fix any problems. I tried not to let them down. It was interesting how much I learned about everything, as I just approached it as if letting anyone down wasn’t an option.
Word spread to other villages and soon after I would go from village to village trying to help. I also talked with each person and learned about all of the different plants and the cures some people attributed to each. I started to write them down and carry them with me.
Before long I was known and respected in every village in what we decided to call China. We all came together and established a kingdom and they made me their leader. That is pretty much my story.”
“So creative thinking, hard work and charity started the longest lasting lively civilization?” I asked.
“You could say so,” Huangdi replied.
“What better qualities for a leader than creative thinking, hard work and charity, more so than being a great orator, which I imagine he became as well through his leadership,” I said thinking out loud more than anything.
Curious to hear more I asked, “What are some of the most important things you learned about yourself and life in general?”
“There are things that need to be thought through before doing, and there are things that don’t.
One source of sadness is to see that often we as a whole don’t think when we should, or we think and think until the doing is past gone when no thinking was necessary. The more our heart is in the right place, the less we have to think at all; we will just do everything out of love and we won’t waste time on deciding, that to act out of love is a good idea. Joy is intrinsic in service.”
“I agree. My wife Ann would always say, ‘Never repress a thought to do something nice for someone else.’” I couldn’t help thinking how much like Ann he was. Her life was creative thinking, hard work and charity. She was always happy, and she was always serving. Looking back on the dinner party I bet he and Ann are good friends. She probably even had something to do with him coming to the dinner party.
Anyway, back to that dinner party, Huangdi agreed, “She is wise to say that, because ‘life’ is the degree of unity of heart and spirit. Hidden in the meaning of mortal life, (mortal coming from the word death), is that there is always an option. Each action either strengthens or severs the tie between heart and spirit. Doubt is the fracture that fear wedges in to separate your heart and spirit further.”
“So then eternal life would be…”
“Exactly,” he cut in.
“…wow,” I said in awe.
“Our heart, though initially the closest to our spirit, can be filled with the things of the world. Our hearts are where dreams are born, thoughts are then nurtured in our intellect, and actions are developed into our character.
If through our spirits we allow the dew drops from heaven to distil on our hearts, we can be changed from something made of dust, to something eternal and divine. It has to come from within.
The power to influence and inspire is the greatest power there is, the greatest evil and the greatest good. The grace of God is that he can draw us a map from where we are to where we want to be, and the mercy of God is that he will spare no expense to encourage and help us to follow the path back to where we want to be.”
“He created our hearts, why can’t he just change them for us?” I asked.
Huangdi continued, “They would no longer be our hearts; they would be his, and he already has a heart. We are the masters of our own destinies, and only we can allow our hearts to be filled, and enable our souls to be happy. No amount of power or mercy can change a heart from empty to whole, or change the e
nd of a will from everlasting sadness to eternal happiness.”
It was very quiet for a minute or so as the words still rung in the air. To the rest of the guests their expression showed that they agreed, and also they enjoyed hearing it put so powerfully. I stood up and brought over the cobbler dessert I had made to the table. I dished each person up.
Almost as if there was background music, everyone seemed to be enjoying the moment. There seemed to be conversations, but not much beyond smiles and nods.
Once we were all enjoying the dessert, I turned to Jshel and breaking the stillness in the room asked:
“So what’s your story?