We sat Indian-style on the blanket, drinking beer and goofing off, kissing and flirting while we waited for the movie. I moved between Sam’s legs and he wrapped me in his arms with a kiss to my ear. I really couldn’t even tell you what movie it was. Neither of us watched it. The only thing I remember is it had Nicholas Cage in it, and he was in Vegas, that’s it. We talked the entire time—not what I was expecting. Savannah threw a baseball through his front window.
Sam joked about her being a little tomboy. I loved hearing stories about Savannah. Savannah made me smile. Leaned into Sam’s chest, I listened to his story while daydreaming about my own little Savannah. What would I name her? A few names danced around my head, but nothing that really stuck. It had to be right, special like Savannah. I didn’t want anything like Penelope or Porsha, I wanted extraordinary. Savannah was special.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone, Kendra?” Sam asked, slipping that curveball right in there.
I didn’t speak for a moment. I focused my attention on his hands rubbing up and down my arms. The heat from his palms was welcoming. Sam was right, once the sun went down, the air chilled rather quickly.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” he recanted.
“I tried,” I admitted, closing my eyes.
“What happened?”
“Well, I was five. The first person I tried to tell was my mother. She told Adriana about my ridiculous accusations. She thought maybe she should mention it to my doctor the next time I had therapy, and I was punished severely for it.”
“You were in therapy at five? Why?”
“No, I’ve never been to therapy a day in my life. My stepmom told everyone I was. I sat in the car and waited for her to shop, have her hair and nails done, or eat while we were at my so-called appointments.”
“What the hell was wrong with your mother? Why would a five-year-old little girl make something like that up?”
“For attention. My dad married another woman. I was acting out, and the Lifetime movie I watched with Adriana about false allegations of a girl’s stepfather was where I got the idea. My therapist talked to me about it, and Adriana had me examined by a physician. Both doctors agreed with Adriana’s diagnosis of my acting out.”
“You were never checked out, and nobody followed up, right?”
“Nope, nobody cared. My parents were too busy trying to up one another.”
“I thought they were divorced.”
“They were, but that didn’t stop them from competing against one another. Money was more important. It was Adriana’s job to take care of me.”
“What did she do to you? After you told your mom?” Sam asked, holding me tighter. I knew I should stop. This was totally ruining my ploy of getting Sam to agree to a threesome.
“You don’t want to hear that,” I assured Sam. Nobody knew that side of me. Nobody.
“I do, Kendra. Tell me. What did she do?”
My hand flattened on Sam’s and I nervously moved it up and down, causing a light clapping sound from the contact. “She mostly just scared the fuck out of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was five. Five-year-olds believe everything. She picked me up from my mother’s and after a long conversation in her office with the door shut, she took my hand in the most loving way she could have. Even at five, I wasn’t fooled, not for one minute.”
“You and your imagination, child,” she teased, kneeling in front of me. She tucked my button-up white shirt into my skirt and led me out. Once we were on the sidewalk, she picked me up and carried me to the car.
“Do you remember what I told you if you ever told anyone about how good I made you feel?” she asked in the still sweet voice. I presume that was for show, too. My mom was standing at the door.
Buckling me in the back seat, I looked up at her with wide eyes. I couldn’t repeat what she said she would do.
“I’ll help you out, Sewer Rat. I said I would kill you. Do you remember now?” I felt spit on my face from her speaking so close to my face. The ride home was deathly quiet and I was scared for my life. Wild things run through a five-year-olds mind when they know they’re about to die.
“What did she do?” Sam asked again when I got quiet.
“She pulled off on a back road and did some things.”
“What things?”
“I can’t, Sam.”
“Okay, and then what?” Sam asked, letting me off the hook. I would never be able to tell anyone those things, ever. Me telling him about my horrid humiliating past would do nothing.
“She put me in the trunk. That’s when I thought I was going to die. I rode home in the trunk of the car, and then stayed there in the garage for hours before she finally came for me.”
“My god, Kendra. Why didn’t you tell me? I feel horrible. I said things to you, I compared your childhood to my hamburger helper one.”
Although it wasn’t the time to be funny, I smiled a little at Sam’s hamburger helper comment. “It’s fine Sam.”
“It’s not fine. Somebody needs to pay. You said the first time you told someone. Did you tell someone else?”
“Yes. When I was seven. I told someone who I thought I could trust, someone who I trusted.”
“Who?” Sam coaxed.
“Ms. Lilly.”
“Who is Ms. Lilly?”
“She was the school nurse.”
“Did she believe you?”
“Yes, she did.”
“Did she help you?”
I took a deep breath and held it in. Sam had to ask the questions to keep me talking. “Did she help you, Kendra?” he asked again.
“No.”
“What did she do?”
“She hurt me, too.”
I felt Sam’s body tense and then he turned me to him. Holding my face in his hands, I tried to look away. “What do you mean she hurt you, too?”
Moving his hands away from my face, I turned away from him, back to his chest with my back. I couldn’t look at him and say the things he wanted to hear. Shrugging my shoulders, I tried my best to brush it off like it was no big deal. “I guess she used my weakness to fulfill her own twisted fantasies.”
“Please tell me that didn’t happen.”
“Yup, she locked the door. That’s how she helped.”
“Was it only that one time?”
“Do you think Olivia is pretty?” I asked. I didn’t want to talk about that anymore. That wasn’t on my agenda for my evening with Sam.
“Huh, yeah, of course,” Sam said, shifting his weight with the shifted conversation. “Why?”
“Prettier than me?”
“Don’t go getting all jealous on me. I’ve always been partial to blondes.” I was happy to be on to something else, back on the right path.
“Was Sierra a blonde?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“What happened? Why did you divorce?”
“We just grew apart.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“What? Why not,” Sam chuckled.
“I don’t know. I don’t think you’re the type to let that happen.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Just that, I don’t know how anyone could get tired of you. You’re always up to something. Didn’t you make her laugh like you do me?”
“It was my fault. I cheated on her with a teacher.”
I sat straight up and turned to him. That shocked the hell out of me. I wasn’t expecting that, not from Sam. “Wow.”
“Don’t look so surprised. Did you ever think you would be here, cheating on Garrison right now? I didn’t plan it. She was an intern for a semester with me.”
“Wow,” I said again. “You cheated?”
“You’re surely not judging me are you? Did you plan this? Would you have ever in a million years thought you would be here with me like this?”
“I’m paying you,” I reminded him. “That isn’t an affair.”
“I’m going to ring your neck. Is
that all I am to you after all this. I want you.”
“Sam?” I questioned, feeling my heart plummet to my stomach and then my feet. Sam wanted me. Did that change things? No. No. It changed nothing. I had to put a stop to the serious conversation before the L word escaped his lips. That might change things. Just like I did with my first proposition, I put it out there. Just like that.
“Let’s do the threesome thing tomorrow night.”
“What?” Sam asked, looking confused as hell. Talk about whiplash.
“I want to have a threesome. With Olivia.”
I watched Sam’s face go from confused to WTF, back to confused. “I’m not having a threesome with Olivia.”
“Why? You said all guys wanted to do that. You said she was hot. Why not?”
“Did you not just hear a word I said?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. We have a month left. What did you think I was going to do, give up what I have for you? Did you really think that would happen?”
“I, uh. I guess, I don’t,” Sam stuttered while I held my cold, bona fide bitch attitude and watched the hurt consume his face. It hurt me, too. I hated it, but I had to do it. I had to stick to the plan.
“Do you want to? The threesome?”
“No. I don’t. I’m not touching Olivia. She’s engaged.”
I laughed loudly, causing the crowd to shush me. “You’re worried about Olivia being engaged? I’m married, or did you forget that part?”
“You’re married to a dweeb and this was never supposed to be this,” Sam said pointing his finger to me and then to his own chest.
“What do you mean this? You still have a contract to satisfy. I can read the part where you agreed to fulfill whatever I desired. You still want to be paid, right?” I may have been kicking him below the belt, but I had to. I knew he needed the money. I didn’t know what for, but I knew he couldn’t give it up.
“Let’s go,” Sam said, standing. Shit. I didn’t want that to happen either. I wanted to be laid. He was pissed.
“Go where?”
“We’re done here.”
“I’m not done with you though.”
Sam snorted and shook his head in disbelief. “Okay, Mouse…Where would you like to go? I can either fuck you at my place or we can go to yours,” Sam offered, standing above me.
“Sam!” I loud whispered. Jesus. He only let fifty people hear him say that. He ignored me, folding the blankets and gathering our things. I had no choice but to stand with him.
“Hi guys,” Olivia said from the balcony, looking up from her e-book.
“Hey,” Sam said in a tone I had never heard from him before. I didn’t think Sam was capable of being angry. I was wrong. I was so wrong. He shoved me ahead of him by my elbow, leaving Olivia with a bewildered look. I didn’t say a word, not that I had a word to say anyway.
“Take your clothes off,” Sam ordered, closing the door behind us. My pussy went freaking nuts. Maybe I liked angry Sam. I looked up to Sam removing his shirt while he toed off his sneakers. “You waiting for something?” he rudely asked, taking out his stuff and walking out of his shorts.
I wasn’t waiting on anything. I was stunned stupid. Watching Sam stroke himself hard, hurried me right along. I was standing naked in front of him in two point seven seconds. This Sam demeanor was crazy hot. I was sure my wetness was ready to run down my leg. Unexplained thoughts flooded my scattered brain. I stood there in an absolute welter of desire, waiting for some sort of instruction.
“You’re the boss. Why don’t you go get your friend, isn’t that what you wanted?”
Shit. It was too soon. I was afraid to do that yet.
Pulling myself together, my stone-cold rich-bitch attitude kicked in. “Maybe tomorrow,” I taunted, walking toward him. “How about you just drop to your knees?” I boldly countered. My tone and demeanor were working a hell of a lot better on the outside than it was internally. I was praying Sam couldn’t see me shaking on the outside as much as I was on the inside.
“How about you drop to your knees?” Sam negotiated, thrusting his hips toward me, fisting his massive cock. Okay…
I did what Sam wanted, but not before I licked his lips and moved my tongue inside his mouth. Sam’s tongue danced with mine briefly before he pulled away, glaring at me with a look of pure hate. Did Sam hate me?
I knelt before him and licked the slit at the end of his head, he pulled out, pumped a bead of pre-come and I licked it off. My gag reflex kicked in when Sam grabbed a handful of my hair and dived to the back of my throat, over and over. The way he hissed while I took all that he was giving and sucked hard drove me crazier than him. As much as I was into sucking Sam’s dick, I wanted him to know who was holding the checkbook and who was in control.
I pulled away after a few minutes and stood. I tried to kiss him again, but he turned his head. Sam wouldn’t kiss me. “What do you want?” he asked.
I audibly snickered, letting Sam know he wasn’t getting to me. Maybe a little. Sam’s kisses were one of the first things that drew me to him. Walking to the closet, I retrieved my shoebox full of toys. I didn’t tell Sam what I wanted with words. I couldn’t make myself say it out loud. I told him what I wanted with my actions. The way I figured it, I had him where I wanted him. I’d tried to get him to put it in my ass a few times. He refused, saying he didn’t want to degrade me. I wasn’t letting him refuse shit. He was on my turf.
I squirted the heat-activated lubricant in my hand and stroked Sam’s cock. Our eyes held contact briefly, before he looked away, down to my hand. I almost tried to kiss him again, but figured out very quick like that I didn’t like the rejection. Walking the few steps to my bed, I lured him to me by bending at the waist, and spreading my ass cheeks. Of course, he came to me.
Holding my breath, I started to dread my decision as soon as felt the head of his cock pushing in through my tiny, constricted hole. André McPherson’s girls didn’t act like it hurt. They loved it. Oh shit. What the hell did I do now?
“Aahh, Sam, wait,” I protested, stopping him by placing my hand on his leg and pulling away.
“What’s the matter, mouse? Bite off more than you can chew?” Sam asked in a tone that told me I wasn’t in control of squat. I hissed, squeezing my eyes closed when Sam didn’t stop at all. He pressed even harder, gaining another inch or so. I wanted to stop him, but I didn’t. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but was more erotic than painful. The dominate Sam I wanted from the beginning was uncovered. I loved it as much as I hated it. It was hot as hell, it just wasn’t Sam.
He didn’t talk me through it and go easy with me the way I knew he would if I ever got him to do what he was doing. He didn’t talk at all. Sam held my hips and continued to bury himself balls deep in my ass. I admit that after a few strokes, I was more than aroused, ready to come, especially after Sam reached around and rubbed my clitoris. Now I understood the expression on the girl’s faces when André did it.
“Fuck, Kendra. Hurry up,” Sam pleaded, pumping in and out, hard, fast, and deep. Holy shit…
That orgasm was something I wasn’t accustomed to. I screamed, from the pain and the pleasure when Sam pulled out and pinched my pulsating nub. While his come squirted all over the small of my back, my own unexpected orgasm spread in waves clear to my toes. I wasn’t even finished riding out my orgasm when I realized Sam wasn’t near me anymore. I turned to see him dressing.
“What are you doing?” I asked puzzled.
“You’ve fucked me enough to know that I’m done. I won’t be able to perform for a couple hours. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Me spending the night was never mentioned in our little agreement. I did that because I wanted to.”
“And now you don’t?”
“Kendra, go get help. You have some major issues.”
“I don’t want you to leave.”
Sam almost cracked. I saw it in his face, in the way his eyes looked at me like he felt sorry
for me. That’s not what I wanted. I didn’t want his pity.
“I’ll see you tomorrow if you want.”
“Sam?” I questioned his motives without a response.
“Damn,” I audibly said to the closed door.
Soaking in a tub filled with sandalwood and vanilla, I decided it was best this way. I was going to say goodbye to him very soon anyway. Knowing this was the best for both of us, especially with the new baby coming, didn’t help the feeling of rejection. I wasn’t used to Sam being so cold. I didn’t think he had it in him, especially what I had just confided in him. Why the hell did I do that? Why did I let him see that side of me? Because Sam did that to me, because Sam made me want to turn myself inside out for him, because Sam made me think things could be different for the first time in my life. Still, this was the best for everyone around. It had to be this way.
I spent the rest of my evening alone on my balcony, regretting the decision to expose that part of my life to Sam. Deciding that I wasn’t going to wallow in it, I replaced the horrid upbringing thoughts with thoughts of my baby girl. Just thinking about the bundle of joy in my arms changed my, feeling sorry for myself, attitude. I used my phone and searched names, girl names that I could see being cute little Savannah’s. Call me crazy, but I only got to the A’s before I knew her name. Averie Hope. Searching the expensive baby sites, I had a thousand dollars’ worth of baby girl’s clothes in a matter of an hour.
I was totally lost in an alternate universe and loving it. This was exactly what I needed. Who would have thought? I had just placed pink little booties in my shopping cart form Babies and Tots, when my screen was replaced with Garrison’s face. I actually cringed.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hi, how are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m scared, Kendra. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Garrison, please don’t do this.”
“I don’t know how to be me without you. What do I do?”