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Two days later, Becca was released and brought home inside a shield of people; it was as if Chris, Toby, and his parents were all afraid she might fall and break. Others had been overly helpful after she’d made it home, bringing her and Chris food and offering to watch her while he ran a few errands he’d been neglecting. It was just like when her parents had died. That memory was crisp enough, feeding that all-too-familiar emptiness inside her heart. Why couldn’t that memory have been dulled?
At least her neck brace was gone. She’d hated that thing. It was so confining. Her neck was still sore, but she’d insisted it be removed before she left the hospital. In a way, Becca felt she still wore it. She’d barely set foot outside except to come home from the hospital. The past couple days had felt like years. She’d thankfully had the good company of her friends. Many of her class mates had stopped in, giving her flowers and cards. Toby had been there every day, making sure to spend time with her, talking to her, trying to help her remember. His eyes were always so sad. Had she forgotten something important about him?
Dr. Kasden wouldn’t allow anyone to tell her anything about the days she’d lost from her memory. She had to search her mind and find them for herself, he’d said. She’d been thumbing through photo albums and pics on her digital camera, trying to recall anything at all. But the memory in her camera was as empty as her own, and some photos from her albums had been removed. When she questioned Chris about it, he’d just shrugged and said she must’ve taken them out for a school project—maybe for the slide show they’d played at graduation. She’d have to try to get them back. Maybe one of them would help her remember something. If she could at least remember graduation… She’d like to remember a little of it, even though Toby had said it had been boring.
Later that night—her first night back home—Becca allowed Chris to help her to bed, even though she could’ve made it fine without him. She knew she’d shaken him up in the worst way, especially since she’d crashed extremely close to where their parents had died. The thought made her shiver. Did the badlands have something against their family? She also wondered what she’d been doing up there in the first place? It happened graduation night. Maybe she’d been going up there to feel close to her parents, like she’d done so many times before. She would’ve been missing them at her graduation. But then, what caused her to run off the road?
All the questions gave her a severe headache. Chris placed a puffy, horse-shoe shaped pillow under her neck for support before he tucked her blanket and comforter around her. His forehead was filled with wrinkles, giving away his worry. They smoothed away as he looked at her and smiled. She had to appreciate his ability to keep a brave face.
“Is that okay, Sis? Everything comfortable?” he asked.
“Take this cast off, then we’ll talk,” she said smiling. “Everything is wonderful. You’re wonderful. What would I do without you?”
“You’d die a slow and lonely death,” Chris answered before his face went pale. “I mean—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Chris’ words had affected Becca, but not the way he’d thought. They’d spoken to each other this way so many times, and it helped her feel like something in her life was normal. “It’s okay, Chris. I wanted you to say that, just like always. Do you think you can make UFO pancakes in the morning?”
Chris’ face softened as he sat on the edge of her bed. “Of course. Anything you want.” He leaned over as if to hug her, then thought better of it. Kissing her forehead, he wished her a good night, making her promise to call him if she needed anything, no matter what the time. He insisted on leaving her door open a crack when he left.
Becca lay in the stillness of her room, staring at the dark ceiling. The past few days had been so crazy. She was exhausted, and her body ached. Her arm already itched under the cast, and her neck was sore. But worse than any of that, a gaping hole had formed in her memory, and it bugged her to death that she couldn’t remember anything from the past month. She felt such a heavy sadness attached to the loss.
Tears streamed from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and pooling in her ears. Why is this happening to me? She pleaded with God to help her understand. Hadn’t she been through enough already? Why had He taken her memories? She wanted to sob, but knew from the past two nights how painful that was to her body. So she took a few deep breaths instead, calming herself. Soon, her lids grew heavy and, with the help of some powerful pain killers, she drifted to sleep.
The dreams seemed to start almost instantly. A man stood next to her. A sweet, intoxicating song played in her mind as he touched her hand. But his face was faded like an old photograph. She couldn’t quite make out his features. She knew him from somewhere, she was sure. There was something so familiar, so close.
Becca smiled as the music played, enjoying the purity of it. But then, the man pulled his hand away and the music quieted. His anguished voice whispered eerily in her ear like a gust of wind, “I’m so sorry, Becca!”
Her eyes snapped open and she released a startled sound. She could still see him standing there, his hand stretched out to her. With her heart in her throat, Becca was unable to call for Chris. She shakily reached over and touched her bedside lamp. Light burst into the room, dissolving the apparition.
Breathing slowly again, Becca relaxed. A dream whisper. It was just a dream whisper. Even so, the haunting melody, though fading quickly, still echoed softly in her mind. And, although she knew it hadn’t been real, the thought of a man standing in her room had shaken her. She lowered her arm without turning off her lamp and eventually drifted back to sleep.