His fingers skirted down my arm. “I know.”
Did he really know? “Four years.”
He threaded his fingers through mine. “I figured that.”
Closing my eyes, I exhaled softly. “You want to see me, but I’m not sure you really want to. I don’t look like—”
“I know what you look like,” he said, his voice low as his gaze met and held mine. “I have two eyes and I’ve been checking you out often. Enough that it would probably make you uncomfortable if you knew. I fucking adore what I see.” He drew my hand to his groin, folding my palm over the rigid length. “I want what I see.”
My breath caught on a soft inhale as I held him lightly in my grip. I thought I could feel him pulse. My gaze dropped to where his much larger hand folded over mine. Colton was right. He had two, completely functioning eyes. Wasn’t like the clothing I wore hid what was really there, and the heat burning my palm told me that he did want this, just as badly as I did.
I could do this.
Slipping my hand away from him, I reached down, catching the skirt of my dress. I couldn’t hesitate at this point. Now or never. Before I could change my mind, I pulled the dress up over my head and then I let it drop to the floor.
I lifted my gaze as I held my breath.
His eyes were glued to mine and a slight, soft smile tugged at one corner of his lips. Then his gaze dropped, gliding slowly over me, and I knew those brilliant blue eyes didn’t miss a thing. Not the dainty, blue lace edging along the straps of my bra or the cups. Not the way my waist curved in and then flared out. The undies weren’t sexy. They were just cotton boy shorts, and they didn’t even match the bra, but as his gaze traveled down to my painted toes, I had a feeling he really didn’t care about that.
“You know what, Abby?” His voice was gruff, like he’d just woken up. “You’re unbelievably sexy. Every last fucking inch of you.” He brushed the back of his hand over my shoulder. “This is.” That hand then dropped to graze the swell of my breasts. “So are these, and so is this.” He trailed a finger down my belly and around my navel. “And I want to lick these hips.” His hand smoothed over one and then around, cupping my rear. “Actually, I want to taste every part of you.”
My heart pounded. “I’m…I’m totally down for that.”
He chuckled as he stepped closer. With one hand on my shoulder, he guided me down until I was sitting on the bed. Keeping my attention fastened on him, I scooted back and refused to allow myself to get caught up in my head again.
Not that I could when he was taking off his jeans. The way the muscles of his stomach bunched and flexed was fascinating to me. It also made me think of what he’d said he wanted to do to me, about tasting me all over. I actually wanted to do it to him.
He left the tight, black boxer briefs on as he walked around the bed, placing one knee on it as he came down beside me. There was little space between us. Neither of us spoke as our breaths danced over each other’s lips.
Slowly, tentatively, Colton touched my cheek with the tips of his fingers. He seemed to map out the curve of my cheek and then my jaw, before skating those rough fingers over my parted lips. The light touch was powerfully seductive, and my response was consuming. The fire surged back to life, keeping me from getting stuck in my head.
His fingers trailed down my throat and then over each cup. My toes curled as I felt my nipples harden. He reached around, deftly unhooking my bra. The straps slipped off my arms, dropping to the bed. “These…” His voice was still hoarse. “These are perfect.”
The way he touched me then made me believe that he truly meant that. He cradled the heavy globe as if it were the most treasured thing. He dragged his thumb over the rosy peak, smiling at the immediate response. He did the same to my other breast.
There wasn’t a time when I knew of Colton that I hadn’t fantasized about him. Only when I was married had I filed those thoughts away, but it had been so long that I dreamed of this, that I wanted this.
My mind finally joined where my heart and body already were, and when he stretched out, I did something that shocked me. Sitting up, I moved onto my knees, placing them on either side of his hips. His hands immediately settled on my hips and I lowered myself down, swallowing a moan when I felt his erection straining against his boxer briefs, hot and hard against the thin material of my panties.
“I really like where this is heading,” Colton said, his hands gently squeezing my hips.
I didn’t let myself think too much as I leaned down and admitted what I’d been thinking about a few seconds ago. “I’ve fantasized about this for so long.”
Thick lashes lifted as he stilled. His stare was piercing, intent. “Are you serious?”
“So serious.”
His fingers curled around the edges of my panties and then one hand trailed up the line of my back and curved around the nape of my neck. “You really shouldn’t have told me that.”
“Why?” I whispered, my heart thumping.
“Because I have no idea how I’m going to be able to slow this down now.”
Colton dragged my mouth to his with a curl of his arm. There was nothing soft or gentle about the way he kissed me. It was fierce and passionate, a kiss of pent-up desire exploding the moment our mouths fused together, a kiss of need. He drew in my breathy moans as he circled his arm around my lower back, sealing our bodies together, chest to chest.
Everything about him swamped my senses and I whispered, “Make love to me.”
Colton let out a near feral sound and then he rolled me onto my back, moving so quickly my heart nearly came out of my chest. As he stared down at me, concentration marked his features.
Then he brought his mouth to the tip of my breast. I let out a strangled cry as my back arched off the mattress. He reached between us, working the last of his clothing off as he moved to my other breast. Sensation raced up and down my body, and that was what I got lost in, the way his tongue laved at my nipple, how he nipped at my skin and soothed the sting with a kiss, a caress of his fingers.
Barely aware of him easing my panties down and then off, I was shocked and thrilled to suddenly feel the entire length of our bodies flesh to flesh. His hand slid up, his fingers splaying around my cheek, holding me there as he brought his mouth back to mine. He kissed me until there were no more thoughts, no holding back or getting lost in fear. I could feel him burning against my thigh, and my body moved on its own accord. I writhed and my hips moved, seeking him.
“You sure you’re up for this?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I can’t wait any longer.”
I gripped his arms. “Neither can I.”
He rolled, reaching for the condom. My stomach tumbled as I watched him rip open the foil and roll the condom onto his thick erection.
This was seriously going to happen.
Part of me still couldn’t believe it as I dragged my gaze up to his and found him watching me. Unable to stop myself, I reached out, smoothing my hands over his hard chest and packed, tight abs. His skin was like silk stretched over marble. I dipped my hand, my fingers brushing over the sparse, short hairs. His chest rose with a deep breath and he seemed to hold it as the back of my hand brushed his cock. He made a deep sound that warmed my skin, and I reached around, folding my hand around his heavy sac.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “Abby…”
Slowly, I pulled my hand back. For a moment, neither of us moved, and then he prowled over me, his strong body caging me in. Colton laid claim to my mouth, but those kisses slowed and became something…infinitely more as I felt his tip press against me. Moaning, I rolled my hips, bringing him closer, but not enough, nowhere near enough.
Colton rested his weight on one elbow as he lifted his body slightly and reached between us, wrapping his hand around his dick. His eyes, a heated and vibrant cobalt, met mine. “I want this to be good for you.”
My lips parted on a soft exhale.
“No,” he corrected softly. “I want this to
be perfect for you. It’s gonna kill me trying to take this slow.”
I dragged my hand down his back as my heart pounded. “Don’t take this slow. I’m ready.” The peaks of my ears burned. “I’m wet…for you.”
He said something I couldn’t quite understand under his breath and then his hips thrust, plunging into me with one deep stroke I felt to the tips of my toes. I cried out, tossing my head back as he stretched and filled me. Nothing ever in my life had felt like this.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice harsh as he stilled, seated deep.
“Yes.” I grabbed onto his arms as I swallowed. “Yes. Don’t stop.”
“Stopping right now is the last thing on my mind, sweetheart.” He rolled his hips back, pulling out halfway, and then he thrust forward again. “Stopping would kill me.”
It would kill both of us.
But he didn’t stop. Oh no, he moved and contrary to what he said, he used slow, languid strokes as his hand brushed the damp hair off my forehead. He built a fire deep within me as his breath danced over my lips, our gazes locked together. There was a connection there, flowing back and forth between us, something intense and consuming.
It was love.
I knew that, felt it in every cell of my being, and I closed my eyes, unwilling to show him the deepest part of me because it all felt too soon, and love had never been spoken between us.
Curling my arm around the one he rested his weight on, I wrapped my legs around his hips, drawing him in even further and eliciting a ragged groan from him. I rocked my hips and he tossed his head back, his arm trembling.
“Don’t hold back,” I ordered in the space between us. “Please.”
And he didn’t.
Restraint broke. Those tentative strokes turned deep and powerful. He grabbed my hand, stretching it above my head, and clamped his hand down on my wrist as he moved over me and in me, his hips plunging wildly.
Pressure built, zipping through my veins and crackling over my skin. I cried out his name over and over as the tension coiled deep in my core. It was too intense, too much and still not enough.
Shifting his weight, he caught my other hand and joined it with the one he held. In one fluid move he had me immobile under him, completely under his control, helpless to him and yet entirely safe in his arms. Something about that combination undid me.
I came apart, shattering as the sound of his name and my cries mixed with his groans. He thrust once and then twisted, hard and deep, and then his huge body spasmed over mine as he buried his face in my shoulder.
When he lifted his head and pressed a tender kiss to my lips, I wasn’t sure I was still existing on Earth. I felt like I was floating to the clouds, maybe even all the way up to heaven.
“You okay?” He eased his hand away from my wrists, drawing my arms back down.
I drew in a shallow breath. “I think I might have died in a totally…good way.”
Colton chuckled and then brushed his lips over my forehead. “Be right back.”
An aftershock stole my breath as he eased out of me. I was nothing more than a puddle as he rolled onto his feet and disposed of the condom in the bathroom. When he returned, I hadn’t moved. Every part of me was sated, but I told myself I needed to move. Put some clothes on. He’d be leaving soon, and I didn’t need to be lying here with everything on display. I started to rise onto my elbows.
“Where are you going?” He climbed onto the bed, half on his side.
“I…I thought I should grab my dress.”
“Why?” Shaking his head, he snaked his arm around my waist. “No. Don’t answer that question.”
“But—”
He tugged me down so my back was curled against his front and his arm was a heavy, pleasant weight across my waist. “I’m not going anywhere, Abby.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. Could he read minds?
“Do you understand?” His voice was quiet, and when I didn’t answer, his arm tightened around my waist. “I’m not.”
But he would, because—
I stopped myself. I shoved that ugly part of me away. In my head, I bitch slapped it. I told it to shut the fuck up, because that nasty part sure as hell hadn’t been entirely helpful in the past.
“Okay,” I said, placing my hand on his arm. “I…that was wonderful, you know, what we did—you did.”
“Of course I was.”
I laughed lightly. “Wow.”
There was a pause. “It was, Abby. It was perfect.” He pressed a kiss against my shoulder. “And it wasn’t me. It was you. You made this perfect.”
Chapter 15
Perfect was a theme I was getting used to, or at least trying to. It wasn’t entirely hard. Not when Colton excelled at making me feel like I was perfect.
A month had passed since the night Charles came through that front door. He was still in the county jail and from what I’d learned, I doubted there would be a trial where I would have to testify. Charles would plead guilty to murder and attempted murder. He would go away for a long time.
Unless Isaiah got ahold of him.
But that wasn’t something I was going to focus on. Every once in a while, I had…nightmares. Sometimes Colton was there to ease those troubling memories. Other nights, it was up to me to get through them, and I did.
I couldn’t believe how much could change in a short time.
While Colton had a role to play when it came to the changes I was making, the feeling of self-worth and confidence had to come from within. Yeah, the external stuff helped, but using a guy’s attention to build your confidence wasn’t something that would last long. It would be dependent upon him, a strength that could be flimsy.
The strength needed to come from me.
And the best way I could gain back the stronger part of me was through actually experiencing life.
I wasn’t working myself to the bone any longer. Meaning after I put in a normal eight-hour shift, I forced myself to stop. Who knew how much extra time existed when you weren’t avoiding…well, avoiding actually living?
I visited the museums in the city with Jillian, something I hadn’t actually done in years, and I even started going out with Roxy, Colton’s younger brother’s girlfriend. Through her, she introduced me to Calla, who was dating Jax, and to Katie, a very…odd stripper who apparently had gone to the same high school as Roxy and I.
For the first time in years, I had a circle of girlfriends, and I had forgotten how incredibly important that was. When Kevin had died and I’d left New York City, it was like I’d closed a door on the life that had existed with him, including all our mutual friends. It seemed a little late now, four years later, to try to rebuild those bridges, but it was something I’d thought about a lot and wanted to try.
And like Katie had said last Sunday, while the four of us had breakfast at IHOP, “What’s the worst thing that could happen? They ignore you or think you’re some crazy cat lady reaching out to them?”
I was also thinking about taking cooking lessons. That was something else I’d forgotten that I’d loved—baking and all things food related. Colton was a hundred percent behind the idea, mainly because I think he just wanted to eat the food.
Speaking of the devil…
Colton reached around me, his finger aiming for the homemade peanut butter icing. I smacked his hand away. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I just want a little taste.” He looped his arms around my waist.
I grinned as I placed the plastic lid over the chocolate cake. “You’re going to have to wait.”
“I can wait for the cake, but…” He lowered his mouth to my neck, placing a kiss against my pulse. “But there’s another taste of something I’m not sure I’m going to be able to wait for.”
My stomach hollowed in response. All he had to do was make an innuendo and my blood heated. Colton was that good. “We’re going to be late.”
“It’s Jax’s BBQ, not a wedding reception.” His hands slid across my belly and t
hen down my hips. He kissed the space just behind my ear.
I bit down on my lip as I leaned back into him, feeling his arousal pressing against my lower back. He was insatiable.
I loved it.
“We really should try to be on time,” I said as I tilted my head to the side, giving him more access.
With his hands on my hips, he turned me around in his embrace. “We can be late.”
Colton kissed me as he slid his hands down, gathering up the skirt of my dress and skating his fingers on the bare skin of my thighs. When he reached my panties and effectively slid them down my legs, every nerve ending took notice. He helped me step out of them.
We were so going to be late.
Our kisses quickly turned frantic, his tongue plunging in and out of my mouth, and our hands were greedy. One of his on my breast, teasing the aching tip through the thin material, his other firmly planted on my ass. I squeezed him through his jeans, loving the way his hips moved against my palm and the deep groan he made against my lips.
He broke the kiss and turned me back around. A fine shiver curled its way down my spine as he brushed my hair aside, then he placed his hand on the center of my back, bending me over slightly.
“Hold on to the counter,” he all but growled. I heard the tinny sound of his zipper.
Oh my goodness.
I did just exactly what he said and when he lifted my skirt again, I felt him against my behind, so hot and hard.
His hand slipped around and delved deep between my thighs, and his fingers immediately went to work, testing my readiness. And he didn’t have to test that out. I was already ready.
With one hand on my hip, holding me in place, he entered me from behind in a long, deep thrust. I cried out, gripping the edge of the counter. “Oh God, Colton…”
“I love hearing you say my name like that.” He started moving, his strokes slow and steady. My inner muscles began to clench around him. “Fuck, you feel so good.”
“So do you,” I breathed.
His thrusts became harder and faster, and I came within moments, screaming his name as it powered through me. He gripped my hips now with both hands and I was drawn up onto the tips of my toes. When he came, he shouted my name as his arm circled around me, sealing my body tight to his, and damn if that didn’t almost make me come again.