“He’s obviously not food,” his voice was hoarse.
Two hours later, the man whose name we didn’t even know, took his last shallow breath. Avian checked his pulse and pronounced him dead, his voice shaky and hollow. Gabriel instructed Bill and Graye to bury him on the outskirts of camp. After it was done, Gabriel, Avian, West and I gathered back in the medical tent.
“They’re getting close again,” I said as I paced the length of the tent. “Attacks don’t usually come from the east. It’s just mountains for miles and miles.”
“Graye was right,” Avian spoke. “They’re getting more and more aggressive. This man probably lived in a cabin somewhere with his family. They tracked him down. We all know what they did to the gardens a few weeks ago.”
Gabriel rubbed at his beard, deep in thought. I wanted him to say something, to tell us what to do. But I didn’t think he knew what to do though.
“We’re going to have to leave,” I spoke when he didn’t. “We have a few months of food left but it won’t be enough to last us through the winter.”
“Where would we go?” Gabriel asked. I saw something frightening in his eyes that I had never seen there before. A loss of hope.
“It would have to be south,” Avian spoke up, his eyes coming to my face.
“Exactly,” I said. “If we can get somewhere warm enough we should be able to scavenge for food until we can figure something else out. I think it would also be wise to go southwest. Heading east first will take too much time. The trucks we have might not make it very far and it could take months just to hike over the mountains, if or when they break down. By then winter will claim the rest of us.”
Gabriel nodded his head, his brain seeming to start to work again. “I agree but going west won’t be easy either. We leave now and we’ll be crossing nothing but desert in the heat of summer.”
“Do we wait?” West asked, the first he had spoken since the meeting began.
“We risk the Fallen pressing further in on us if we wait,” I pointed out.
“We risk the desert heat claiming us if we go now,” Avian said, sitting forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Temperatures can get close to 120 degrees out that direction. Without massive amounts of water, no one would last long.”
We seemed to be at a standstill. What was the right thing to do? The safest thing?
“I say we take it to everyone,” West said. “We have to let everyone in Eden know what is happening. They have to be figuring it out for themselves anyway. Let’s let everyone decide what to do.”
“I agree,” Avian said as he sat back again.
Gabriel nodded, his eyes thoughtful. “Fine. We’ll call a meeting tonight after dinner.”
West and Gabriel exited the tent to spread the word. I stood rooted and closed my eyes. I counted backward from ten to help push out the feelings of loss and despair I didn’t know how to deal with. A warm hand slipped into mine, immediately enhancing the calm I was looking for. Without opening my eyes, I raised our hands up to my face and rubbed the back of Avian’s hand against my cheek. I could feel Avian’s eyes on my face and I realized what the emotion that was rolling off of him was. Worry.
I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to tell him that we were all going to make it out of this. I wanted to tell him that I knew exactly what to do.
But I couldn’t do any of those things. I didn’t have any answers.
I finally opened my eyes and looked into Avian’s. Raising my other hand, I placed it on his cheek, feeling the stubble that was growing there. His eyes burned as he looked down at me and I felt a strange feeling in my chest. Almost as if it were splitting in two. I wanted to press my lips to his in that moment, to bury my face in his chest and to have him wrap his arms around me again.
But I also remembered what I had done with West, remembered Avian’s own words.
I let go of Avian’s hand and stepped outside into the dying light.
You can’t have both.
Avian was right. Even though I didn’t know how to handle feelings like this, I knew what I had been doing was wrong. I couldn’t have both. It was unfair to both of them. And it was tearing me into two people.
But how was I supposed to choose? I felt a tie to both of them, a tie so solid I wasn’t sure that even I was strong enough to sever it. On the one hand, Avian was home and made me feel secure and right. Everything felt okay when I was with Avian. But at the same time, he was still so much older than I was. And he would be tied to Eden in such a permanent way. He would never be able to go on raids with me, never be able to go hunting or on scouting duties. We would always be separated at times and there was always the risk that we might be permanently that way.
On the other hand, West had woken up something inside of me. I never felt more alive than I did when I was with West. West pushed me to be more. More human and yet more cybernetic at the same time. West could go anywhere with me. He could nearly match me step for step on scouting duties, could hunt with me.
But I still didn’t fully trust him. West kept too many secrets, had lied to me too many times. And he almost seemed to like to make me angry.
It would be so much easier if I didn’t have to make either choice. Picking neither and going back to the way I was just a few months previous would have been so much simpler. But something inside of me had changed. There was no going back now. I couldn’t live the same without them.
But how was I going to sever one of them?
I decided to pull Sarah aside after the meeting. I needed someone to talk to or I was going to explode.
Someone had to sit out and keep watch during the meeting so West had volunteered. The rest of us gathered in the center of camp. I watched them as they gathered, saw the way the lines around their eyes were tighter, the way their breathing was just slightly shallower. Everyone was on edge.
Our already slight frames were all the more skinny already.
“Thank you for coming tonight,” I was surprised when it was Avian who took control of the meeting. I glanced over at Gabriel. He sat to the side of Avian, his eyes on his hands in his lap. His face looked empty. “You are all aware of what happened a few weeks ago. I know everyone has been thinking about it but it is time we actually talked about it and what this means for our future.
“We will run out of food in the middle of the winter. We have enough for everyone for a few more months but with most all this year’s harvest gone to ash we will not make it to next spring.
“Add to that fact that the Fallen have become more aggressive. It has been deemed not possible for us to go into the cities on raids any longer. They have been pushing further and further into the country. Just today a man passed away who was on the run after his family was attacked. He came from the east. We’ve never heard of them pressing in from the mountains like that.”
Avian cleared his throat, his eyes dropping to the ground. I realized how hard this must be on him, having to be the one to finally bring this to everyone’s attention. He was strong in a way I had never realized before. He may not have been as physically tough like Bill and Graye were but he was a rock, a foundation for the rest of us.
“It has been proposed that we need to move. I agree with this. I don’t think there is any other choice. The natural resources we have will not last us for as long as we need. We’re going to have to go someplace warmer. Southwest.
“The question is when and how to move,” Avian said as he looked around at our fellow men and women. “If we leave right now we would be crossing the deserts in the hottest part of the year. And yet if we don’t leave now our supplies will become all the more depleted.
“It would be incredibly dangerous to move any way we do it. If we leave all at once it will be easier for Fallen to spot us. At the same time, there is safety in numbers. We can have our best scouts with us all at once. If we move in smaller groups it will be easier to stay hidden, to keep a low profile. At the same time, each group could ha
ve no more than one or two of our most skilled scouts. It also splits all of us. There’s the risk that we might not all ever be reunited. Without electronic devices it will be difficult to stay in contact and reconvene.
“It is up to you. We, Gabriel, Eve, and myself, won’t force any decisions on you. This affects all of us. The choice is yours.”
Everyone was silent for a long while. How was anyone supposed to make this decision? There were pros and cons to each way, there was no clear decision to make. There was great risk with either. Each carried the possibility of destruction, with being wiped out in one big group or the chance we would never be a group again, a family.
“We could go in two groups,” Graye spoke up. We were all surprised when he did, he was usually a man of few words. “If we split right down the middle, one group could go in a few weeks or so when things will start to cool slightly. We send our best scouts and Eve to clear the way. We could leave messages for the group to follow, traces the Fallen won’t pick up on. Leave a trail for each other to the new location. The last group will bring the rest of the food. We have the two trucks, if we camouflage them well enough, we should be able to bring enough supplies. At least until we run out of fuel.”
The group was quiet for a bit, mulling over Graye’s idea.
“That seems reasonable to me,” Avian finally said. “Eve? Gabriel?”
“It seems a viable option,” I answered.
Gabriel simply nodded his head. His behavior was disturbing.
“All those in favor of Graye’s plan?” Avian asked, turning his eyes over the group.
The majority of hands, including mine, went up. After a few hesitant and thoughtful seconds, the rest of them went up as well.
“It is agreed then,” Avian said with a nod. “We will make preparations. I think until then that a priority should be to hunt as much as possible and gather as many other resources as we can find. Traveling would be hard under normal circumstances, but considering the conditions we have been under these last few weeks, it will be even harder. We will need food to keep up our strength. Our survival has become all the more difficult.”
A flurry of mixed emotions was tangible as everyone left. I watched their faces as they did, Wix, Victoria, Morgan. Each of them had different thoughts behind their eyes, but there was one unifying one. We had to survive.
It wasn’t until the meeting was over that I realized Sarah had not been in attendance. I asked Avian where she was and he told me in a very hushed voice that she had not been feeling well. I didn’t miss the anxiety that seeped into his face. I had a feeling then that things weren’t getting better.
TWENTY-ONE
The beast hit the ground with a loud cry. A circle of red started forming on his neck before he was even fully down. He twitched for a few moments before the fight seeped out of him.
I slung my bow back across my shoulders and leapt down the small cliff I had been hiding on. I crouched beside the animal, checking to make sure it was fully dead. I saw my own reflection in the buck’s eye as he took his last strangled breath.
I pulled my arrow out of his neck and wiped it clean on the grass at my feet. I placed two fingers under my tongue and gave a loud whistle. Two minutes later Bill and Graye joined me. Together we started the mile journey back to Eden with the animal.
We had been hunting nonstop for the last three days. While scouting duty was as important as ever, it was now just as important to find food. We had brought back three doe’s, a few foxes and rabbits, and now this buck. The kitchen had been busy cooking, bottling, and drying the meat, others tanning the hides.
Not only would our food supplies have to last us the few weeks till the first group left, and then another month after the second group left, it would also have to last the week, maybe two, journey into the unknown. And who knew what immediate food sources would be like once we reached where we were going.
It had been brilliant on Avian’s part to put everyone to work on making preparations to leave. With everyone so busy, there was no time for anyone to sit and worry too much about the fact that we were moving, that we would be traveling so far. Everyone had a role to play. Hands were needed to forage the woods nearby, searching for berries and edible mushrooms. Others were needed to collect water in any containers we could spare.
As I walked through Eden, after I had dropped off the buck, I caught a glimpse of Gabriel. He sat at the entrance of his tent, staring out over the rest of us. He watched as the rest of us worked. He wasn’t supervising, checking to make sure everything was done right. He was just gone. He’d checked out. I hated him for his behavior.
Checking to make sure no one was watching me, I poked my head inside Avian’s tent.
Sarah had not come out of the tent since before the meeting. When I pressed Avian about it he simply told me that she was not feeling well. I did not think he was intentionally lying to me. He was lying to himself.
“Sarah?” I said quietly through the dim light. “Sarah?”
Only silence greeted me. I stepped inside, closing the flap behind me. It felt muggy inside and it was suffocatingly hot as the sun beat down above. “Sarah?” I said again as I knelt next to her cot.
A thin sheet was gathered up around her neck, damp and clinging to her skin where it touched her. Her brown curls were matted and stuck to her face. Her skin clung to her cheekbones. Her eyes were closed. They frightened me. They looked like they were sinking into her head.
“Sarah,” I called again, my voice insistent. I felt the urgent need to wake her up. Now. “Sarah,” I said again as I placed my hands on her and shook her slightly.
“Eve.” The tent was suddenly flooded with light as Avian opened the flap. “Leave her alone.” He waved me out.
“She looks like death,” I whispered as I followed him out into the light. “What is happening to her?”
Avian pursed his lips together, his eyes dropped to the ground. His hand rubbed over his short hair. I noticed he did this when he felt stressed or worried.
“She’s getting worse, isn’t she?” I asked.
It took a moment before Avian nodded his head. “She’s not having as many seizures but she’s sleeping the majority of the time. She’s woken up a total of maybe two hours in the last twenty-four. She can’t keep much of anything down.
“I don’t know what else to do for her,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Maybe if I were an actual doctor…”
“Hey,” I cut him off, giving him a sharp look. “Don’t talk like that. You’re an amazing doctor. Sometimes nature just can’t be fought.” I felt sick saying it but the need to make Avian think straight was more important.
He nodded his head, his eyes still on the ground.
“There’s West,” I said as I looked back toward the center of camp. “Come on. We’re supposed to meet again.”
Avian, West, Bill, and I all sat around the long dining table and smoothed the plans we had written out over its rough surface.
“If the scouts continue at the rate you have been going, we should gain at least a few more weeks worth of food supplies, maybe even another month,” Avian took control of the meeting again. It bothered me that he had not even asked Gabriel to join us. He knew as well as I did though, that it was pointless. Gabriel was gone for the time being. “We need a few more things that we’re going to have to go look for. We need more water containers. We’ll go through what we have quickly.
“We’re also going to need a way to transport a large amount of people. The supplies we will have to haul will fill the beds of the trucks. Bill, the trailer you and Graye brought back from the city will work. I’m hoping we can fix up the old one that was found rusting away by the lake. I’ve already got a few people working it.
“We also need a way to communicate with the second group. A way to leave signs the Fallen will not notice. Any ideas?”
No one jumped right away. “Think about it for a while, let us know if you come up with any ideas.
“The oth
er issue. It will be invaluable if we can take the trucks with us the entire way. We’re going to have to look for gas stations, as far on the outskirts of towns we can find. We also run the risk that any fuel that will be left will have gone bad. It’s been nearly six years since any new fuel was brought in. It may very well destroy the engines if we put it in.”
“We don’t exactly have any other choice though, do we,” West piped in.
“Exactly,” Avian said as he looked up at West. “Bill has maps, we’ll carefully plan our route, try to avoid any Fallen, any big city areas.”
With this, Bill reached into his pack and pulled out a book that must have weighed a good ten pounds. He flipped it open somewhere near the middle and started scanning through pages.
“Where did you get that?” I asked, my eyes growing wide. I had only ever seen a map once before.
“Got it from a man who didn’t need it anymore,” he said, not looking up from the map. I knew what that meant. He’d taken it from a dead man.
“This is where we’re at,” Bill said as he pointed to a place on the map. As I studied it, I recognized the shape of the lake, the terrain of the mountains. “This is the closest city,” he drug his finger over the page. “We should find somewhere to get fuel on the outskirts here. It’s a small city so there is a chance there won’t even be any Hunters. They tend to flock to the larger ones. We could get out of there scott-free.”
“What about the groups?” I asked as I looked up at the faces around me. “Who is going to go when?”
Avian didn’t answer right away as he took all of us in, gauging the abilities of each of us. “Obviously you have to go in the first group, just in case we run into any problems with Fallen.” I nodded in agreement. It was a relief to not have him try and shelter me unnecessarily again. “I’m also going with the first group.”
“What about the rest of them?” I immediately protested. “What if they need you?”