Chapter 25
No Doubts
Maybe it was the removal of the doubt in our relationship, but the next few weeks flew by. Before I knew it, it was the end of May and Kellan's tour was done. All of the boys came back to Seattle for a celebratory weekend before they had to disembark to L. A. , to record their album. I was pretty surprised when Kellan had called and told me he was coming up. When he had first told me about the album, he'd made it sound as if he would be going straight there. I was even more surprised, and mortified, when he told me that Justin and his band were coming up with them. Apparently the two groups had really hit it off on the road. Not too surprising, I guess. Kellan was easy to get along with, for guys and for girls.
It was a Thursday night when they all strolled in. Talking with Jenny and Kate at the counter, I flinched when I heard the front doors bang open. My eyes immediately snapped over to them and excitement flooded every part of me.
Griffin had just burst open the doors, just like he used to when the D-Bags were a fixture here. Seeing him, standing like a King before his court, wasn't what spiked my heart, though. No, it was knowing who would walk in a few steps after the egomaniac.
As the bar completely silenced, Griffin exclaimed, "Your master has returned. . . you may worship me now. "
A chorus of laughter went around the room and the buzz of noise started again as people stood to welcome the returning rockers. Griffin was harshly shoved forward by Matt. Scowling at his cousin, Matt raised his hand in greeting to his name being shouted here and there around the room. He then immediately started heading to their old table, obviously wanting out of the spotlight.
Griffin frowned at Matt, until he found a table of coeds to pester. Evan stepped through the swinging front doors with Kellan, the two of them smiling, mid-laugh. The crowd outright cheered once all four band members were in their midst again. Kellan glanced around the room, acknowledging them with a hand wave and a nod. Evan shook his head, like he still couldn't wrap his head around the whole thing. Then the gentle man spotted his girl.
The heavily tatted rocker with gauges in his ears and a new piercing through his eyebrow, melted when Jenny jumped into his arms. There were squeals and giggles and lots of laughter as the two of them reunited.
I was giggling too as I left Kate by the bar to flood to my man, before the other girls around beat me to it. He was striding my way, his grin as wide as mine. When we met up, he grabbed my cheeks and pulled my mouth to his. His scent hit me just a second before his warm lips did. He held me to him as his mouth moved in sync with mine, his tongue just slipping in to brush against me. My fingers reached up to tangle into his tousled mess, twisting into the thick, light brown strands.
As his hands threaded back though my hair, his body inching forward to press against the length of mine, I slowly started to remember that we were in a very public place. I didn't stop the kissing though. I even managed to ignore the catcalls and whistles as people watched us. I really only decided to put a stop to it when Kellan's hands started drifting down my body.
When his fingers squeezed my bottom, I pushed back from him. Smiling, but breathless, I raised an eyebrow in warning. Equally breathless, he shrugged, like he just couldn't help himself. Giggling, I gave him a soft, public-friendly kiss.
"You're here," I breathed.
He matched my gentle kiss. "There was nowhere else I wanted to be. "
Knowing that he had so much to do in the next few weeks, preparing his band's very first album, I shook my head and smiled. Maybe seeing that our intimate moment was over, regulars in the bar started coming up to Kellan, congratulating him on the band's success. He shook hands left and right, smiling and making conversation like he'd never been gone.
Smiling to myself, I left him to it. Kellan was getting a bear hug from Sam when the front doors opened again. I'd been standing right in front of the doors when they'd started opening and I hastily stepped back so I wouldn't get smacked. When I saw who'd just entered the bar, I wanted to freeze in place or run and hide. Knowing that I was overreacting, that people were just people, regardless of what they did for a living, I slapped on a smile and approached the second band of rock stars entering the bar.
"Hello, Justin. It's good to see you again. " Scanning the five twenty-something guys standing before me, smiling as they looked around the bar, I asked, "Can I get you guys something to drink?"
Justin's pale eyes met mine, and he nodded. "Yeah, we'll take a pitcher of whatever you've got on tap. Thanks, Kiera. " He tapped me on the shoulder as he walked by.
Immensely proud of myself for sounding more like an adult and less like a teenage schoolgirl, I watched the two bands meet up. Kellan and Justin shook hands and sat near each other at the boys' favorite table. The rest of the guys spread out near the table, talking to fans or to each other. Even with the addition of Justin's band, it was so natural to see the D-Bags here, and yet unnatural at the same time, since they'd been gone for so long. I loved having them back.
I repeated the order to Rita, who was staring at the combination of Kellan and Justin like they were both sitting at the table completely naked. Some things never change. As I waited for her to make the guys drinks blind, since she wouldn't take her eyes off the group, I felt someone approach me.
Grabbing my arm, Kate pulled me over to her. "Do you know who that is with Kellan, Kiera?"
Smiling at her overwhelmed face, I nodded. "Yeah, I've met him a few times. . . he's nice. "
Her topaz eyes widened as far as they could go. Staring at the pitcher that Rita was slowly putting on my tray, she stammered, "You have to introduce me. . . seriously. "
I nodded at the tray, indicating with my head for her to take it. "No problem, follow me. "
I grabbed Kellan's bottle of beer, since he preferred his beer bottled, while Kate followed me with the pitcher and glasses. With a confidence that surprised even myself, I led Kate back to the rock stars and introduced her to the visiting band. She was as much of a nervous, babbling wreck as I'd been when I'd first met them. It made me smile as I sat on Kellan's lap, completely comfortable.
An hour or two later, everyone in the bar was comfortable, and the laughter and conversations were flowing as freely as the drinks. Someone put some fast songs on the jukebox and a group of girls grabbed Justin and his band mates to dance with them. It didn't take Rita long to ditch her duties at the bar and join them for a song or two. The grinding that the over-tanned, over-bleached, middle aged, married woman did with that rock star made me horribly embarrassed. Kellan was right-some women really would do anything for attention.
Kellan and I were taking a moment to twirl around the end of the crowd when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Seeing Griffin standing there, I instantly got a ball of ice in my stomach. He wasn't trying to cut in, was he?
Sniffing, a disgruntled Griffin looked around the bar. "Hey, where's your sister?"
Holding Kellan's hand, I bit my lip. Once Anna had learned that the guys were coming up here for a few days before heading to Los Angeles, she freaked out. She was definitely showing now, and she wouldn't have been able to hide it from Griffin. And since she still hadn't told him, she hadn't wanted to see him. She'd hopped a flight back home. Yeah, she'd rather tell our parents, than her boyfriend.
Kellan glanced down at me and raised an eyebrow. I knew he wanted Griffin to know, but we'd both agreed that Anna had to tell him. To Griffin, I shrugged and said, "Sorry, she had to go back east for a few days, to see our parents. "
Griffin frowned, then tucked his chin-length hair behind his ears. "Really? Now?" He shook his head, his light eyes confused. "I told her we were coming up this weekend. She couldn't wait?"
I sighed, hating that I couldn't tell him. "Sorry, family thing. " Griffin rolled his eyes, seemingly disappointed that his f-buddy, as he referred to Anna, wasn't available. Hating that he sort of used my sister, even if she was completely willing, I muttered, "Well, I'm sure you could find someone else to. . . hang out with this weekend. "
Griffin shrugged, still looking forlorn. "Yeah, sure. . . but Anna's the best, though. She knows just what I like. " His sullen expression took in the clumps of girls around the bar. "These girls, they're all too. . . giddy. It can be annoying. . . sometimes. "
Surprised that those words would ever cross Griffin's lips, I said words that I never, ever, thought would cross mine. "You could hang out with Kellan and me?"
I instantly wanted to take the words back. Kellan snapped his head to me, equally surprised by my invitation. His brow furrowing, he minutely shook his head. I clearly heard the question he wasn't asking-why the hell would you invite Griffin into our weekend? Are you crazy?
I bit my lip, thinking maybe I was. Griffin, though, scowled at Kellan. "Nah, no thanks. " Lightly smacking Kellan in the chest, he muttered, "I'd rather be alone than hang out with this jack-off. "
Kellan blinked, his gorgeous face looking genuinely perplexed. "What did I do to you?"
Griffin narrowed his eyes, his thin lips tightening. "Jersey. . . those two hot girls?"
I raised an eyebrow but didn't let myself overreact to the statement. Everything Griffin said had to be taken with a grain of salt. Plus, Kellan wouldn't do anything to hurt me. That, I finally believed.
Kellan bit his lip, looking like he was struggling to not laugh in Griffin's face. "Uh, Griff. . . I was doing you a favor. "
"Save it, man. " Griffin poked him in the chest. "You were just jealous 'cuz you were doing the monogamous thing. Whatever. You didn't need to cock-block me! And right when things were getting interesting!"
A small laugh escaped Kellan. "Griffin. . . "
Shaking his head, Griffin turned and walked away. To his back, Kellan laughed out, "I tried to tell you. . . those weren't girls, dude. " Griffin raised a middle finger in the air and Kellan laughed harder. Shaking his head, he looked back at me. "Maybe I should have just let him figure it out for himself?"
Laughing at the idiot, that was about to have a child with my idiot sister, I shook my head. Kellan gave me a warm smile, wrapping his arms back around my waist. "Monogamous thing?" I asked, tilting my head.
He smiled wider, resting his head against mine. "Yeah, see, I told you I was being good. "
Giggling, I gave him a soft kiss. "I know you were. " Sighing, I shook my head. "Who knew I'd ever find a conversation with Griffin comforting?"
Grinning crookedly in a way that made me wish my shift was over, Kellan murmured, "Life's little mysteries. "
Threading my hand back through the perfect mess of hair, a style that only Kellan could successfully pull off, I sighed. I searched his face as his eyes searched mine. The rare shade of his deep blue eyes, the perfect arch of his brow, the slant of his nose, the seductive curve of his lips, the strong angle of his jaw, his height, the lean cut of his body-physically, he was the epitome of what the ideal man would look like. But his heart, his soul, his pain, his humor, his music. . . that's what made me ache for him.
I wanted to give him everything. I wanted to give him the world. I couldn't, though. I didn't have that kind of power. But there was one thing I could do. . . one thing that I could help to give him. And I knew it was something he wanted, even if he fought against wanting it.
I'd done something this morning. Something that I knew he wasn't going to like. But I'd had to do it. And I also had to tell him that I'd done it, even if it made him really angry.
Clearing my throat, I glanced around the bar full of witnesses. Well, at least he couldn't kill me after I told him. "Um, Kellan, since we're doing the honesty-at-all-costs policy, I have something to confess. "
He grinned at me, his hands around my waist tightening. "Rob a bank while I was gone?"
Smirking at him, I shook my head. "No. "
He leaned in, raising an eyebrow. "A sex shop?"
Flushing, I looked away. "No, I didn't rob anyone. " Laughing, I looked back at where he was still giving me a devilish smile, probably still envisioning me in a sex shop. My cheeks heating, I smacked his chest and spat out, "Stop picturing me. . . where you're picturing me. "
Laughing, he kissed my cheek. "Okay, what is it?"
Feeling seriousness fall around me, I bit my lip. "Okay, it's going to make you mad, but hear me out before you start yelling. "
The smile immediately fell from his face and he narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?" he asked cautiously.
Swallowing, I started tracing the letters of my name on his shirt. Following the tattooed lines hidden beneath the fabric, I subtly reminded him that he loved me. . . just in case he forgot in about three seconds. "I invited your dad and his family to the graduation party at Pete's. "
Kellan instantly pushed me away from him, frowning. "You what? Kiera, I told you I didn't want any contact with him. Why would you do that?"
Sighing, I stepped back up to him. "Because you need them, Kellan. "
He immediately started shaking his head, but I cut off his objection. "No, you don't believe that you do. . . but you do, Kellan. " Putting my hand back on his chest, I shook my head. "I've heard you talk about your sister. You care about her. And your brother? You've never even met him. . . don't you want to?"
I raised my eyebrows and waited for a second. Almost imperceptibly, Kellan nodded and feeling victorious, I continued. "And your dad. . . how do you know what you'll feel towards him, if you never give him a chance. " Putting my other hand on his cheek, I stroked my thumb over the smooth skin. "You could be missing out on something really good. . . because you're scared. "
He looked down. "Kiera. . . "
I lifted his head, making him look at me. "I saw you on Christmas morning, Kellan. You wanted that bond, that family bond. . . and you can have it. You just have to be brave. " I smiled that me, the one most pervious to nerves, was assuring him, the one who rarely seemed to be self-conscious, to be brave. Smiling wider, I added, "You are a smart, handsome, rock star with a girlfriend who adores you. You have nothing to fear. . . ever. "
He grinned at hearing variants of his words being repeated back to him. Gazing at me with adoration, he shook his head. "When did you get so wise?"
Smirking, I shrugged. "I am a college graduate, you know. "
Kellan smirked right back. "Not yet. "
Laughing, glad that he wasn't too mad, I slung my arms around his neck. "Close enough. "
Tilting his head at me, he bunched his brows. "How did you get my dad's number anyway?"
I gave him a blank look. "Are you kidding, that number has been burned into my brain since December. "
Sheepishly, he grimaced and looked down. "Yeah, sorry about that. "
Leaning up, I kissed him. "It's okay. . . I get it now. "
Noticing bar patrons starting to examine empty glasses, I figured I'd probably had a long enough break and should get back to work. Grabbing Kellan's hand, I pulled him with me back to the bar. Since Rita was still dirty dancing with Justin, maybe Kellan could be the bartender?
Joking around, I asked Kellan if he wouldn't mind taking over for Rita. Eyes lighting up, he hopped up on the bar and scooted around to the other side. He looked like I'd just given him the keys to the Kingdom as he stared at all the bar supplies. I wondered if he knew how to make anything? Well, he had helped me study for this job, back when I'd first gotten it, so he must have picked up a thing or two.
Grinning at the adorable image of Kellan tying a half-apron around his waist, I shook my head. He was going to get so many tips. Good thing we pooled them all together at the end of the night. As I started helping my thirsty customers, Pete came out of his office, tucked behind the kitchen.
The weary, older man looked over the chaos of the bar on a night that usually wasn't this bustling, and smiled. Seeing his bartender on the floor with the rock stars, he frowned, then his silver head looked back at the bar. I knew Pete liked Kellan, since they'd had a working relationship for years, but I wasn't sure if he'd be okay with Kellan serving his customers. But Kellan had already attracted attention in his newfound position. A line was formed at the bar as Kellan smiled and flirted his way through order after order.
I smiled and shook my head at him. Really, there wasn't too much Kellan couldn't do well, and serving drinks was no exception. I could easily picture an alternate life for Kellan, one where he wasn't about to be a famous rock star. I could easily picture him here, working alongside me, serving drinks every night. It was an intriguing idea, but I knew that Kellan's heart lied with music. The path he was on was the right one for him.
I watched him flip a bottle into the air "Cocktail" style, then watched as he nearly missed catching it. When he juggled the bottle into submission, just keeping it from crashing to the floor, the girls screamed and clapped. Always the showman, he bowed dramatically.
Pete shook his head, but I saw a small smile on his face as he watched the bills being tucked into the register. I figured he was fine with Kellan doing just about whatever he wanted to after that.
Kellan met my eye, laughing a little at the attentions he was receiving. I laughed at him, then blew him a kiss. I would place my order later. . . at his place. . . our place, since I'd moved my stuff in last weekend.
Just as I was remembering Jenny, Kate and Cheyenne helping me carry box after box into Kellan's house-my sister only "supervising" since she'd suddenly embraced her condition, claiming she was supporting a life, so she couldn't manhandle cardboard-a familiar face walked into the bar.
I smiled wide at seeing Denny stroll in. I was used to seeing him in here now, since he usually stopped in a couple of times a week for dinner. He'd been mysteriously absent this week though; I hadn't even received a phone call from him. As I noticed him holding hands with someone who was entering the bar a step behind him, I suddenly understood why he'd dropped off the face of the earth.
I waved at Denny and his girlfriend, Abby, who must have finally made it over from Australia. Denny slung his arm around her waist and beamed with pride. Happy beyond belief for him, I motioned to a free table in my section. Nodding at me, he led her that way.
Turning back to a trio of college girls at one of my tables, I handed them a second round of margaritas. Straightening, I quickly told them, "There you go. Enjoy, and let me know if you need anything else. "
One of the girls had her eyes glued on Kellan as she sipped on her straw. "Can we get him to go?" she slurred as the other girls at the table giggled.
I glanced over at Kellan, still behind the bar. He'd noticed Denny's entrance too and was staring at Denny while he filled a mug with ale. I couldn't read Kellan's expression, so I had no idea if he was okay with my ex and I still having a friendly relationship or not. But Kellan could see Denny's companion too, and if he still had any qualms about the matter, seeing the blonde on Denny's arm should have squelched it.
Looking back to my customers, I shook my head. "Sorry, no. . . he belongs to me. " They all stared at me, shocked, and I felt a flutter in my stomach that I'd confessed such a personal thing to complete strangers. I tended to avoid attracting attention to myself, and now I had the table's complete attention. I felt the warmth of embarrassment as they stared at me, but the immediate surge of love flattened it.
Smiling, I lifted my promise ring and flicked it with my thumb. "He's off the market. "
They all stared at my ring then over at Kellan. Finally, the drunken one slurred, "Well, damn. . . " She looked up at me and smiled. "Nice catch. "
Rolling my eyes, I giggled and shook my head. Yeah, Kellan was a nice catch. Even if it wasn't always easy with him, it was always worth it. I was very lucky. Excusing myself, I headed over to see him. He pulled his eyes away from Denny as I neared him.
Purposely putting my back to Denny, just so Kellan would know what he should already know-that I was his and his alone-I leaned across the bar. Giving me a crooked grin, Kellan leaned over his side. My eyes lingered on his deep red shirt, his glorious chest impossible to hide underneath the fabric. Lazily, I let my gaze wander up to his eyes, drinking him in just as eagerly as the college girls had slung back their margaritas.
His gaze was fond and peaceful when our eyes locked. Nodding his head over my shoulder, he told me, "I should go say hi. The last time we saw each other, I wasn't exactly. . . nice. "
He grimaced and I did too. Yeah, that hadn't been the best reunion after so long apart from each other. But it could have been so much worse. If Kellan had been a little angrier, if Denny had done a little more to provoke him, Denny could've ended up with the broken arm this time.
Looking back at Denny seated at a table with Abby, I nodded. "Yeah, I should talk to him, too. I haven't had a chance to meet Abby yet. "
Denny glanced up at the bar and frowned. Saying something to Abby, he started to stand, like he wanted to come over and talk to us, too. I supposed there were a few things that we all needed to discuss. Abby glanced up at me, smiled briefly, then put her hand on Denny's arm. He looked back at her and sat back down.
I twisted back to Kellan, right as his butt was pinched. Kellan had been watching Denny and Abby and hadn't noticed Rita sidling up behind him. He startled at the unexpected contact, taking a step away from her. Rita, giddy from her illicit dancing with Justin, wrapped her arms around his waist.
"I knew I'd get you back behind this bar again, sweetheart," she purred, her voice scratchy from way too many cigarettes.
I flushed at her reference to their one night together, then surprisingly laughed. Kellan was trying to disengage himself from her, but every time he moved one hand away, she moved the other one right back. The annoyed frustration on his face made me giggle and he narrowed his eyes at my enjoyment of his predicament. When Rita laid her head on his chest and contently closed her eyes, Kellan sighed. I shook my head at him and gave him a, hey, buddy, you reap what you sow, expression.
Noticing my look, he smiled. There was a time when another woman snuggling on him would have had me in a jealous tizzy. I guess I finally trusted him, too. Gathering himself, Kellan firmly grabbed Rita's shoulders and shoved her back.
Her eyes flashed open at the unexpected movement and she stared at him with her mouth gaping. Hunching down to look her in the eye, Kellan quietly said, "I know we had a thing once, but that was years ago and I've moved on, we've both moved on. " His eyes flashed down to her wedding ring. "But I'm with Kiera now and your constant flirting isn't appropriate. Neither is your gossiping about things we did together. I would appreciate it, if in the future, both of those things would stop. . . please. "
Rita blinked at him as he released her shoulders. I blinked at him, too. Kellan had never, ever told someone to back off like that. Not that I'd ever heard, anyway. She didn't say another word as he scooted around the bar to meet me on my side. Untying his apron, he handed it to a still-stunned Rita. "Thank you, Rita, it was fun. "
I had no idea if Kellan meant filling in for her at the bar, or the time that they'd shared together, but his tone clearly implied that both things were done. Rita took the fabric from him, her face glum. I felt a little bad watching her, but I supposed this had been a long time coming. Rita had always harbored a desire to sleep with him again, but that was never going to happen. Not while he was with me. And I planned on him being with me for a long, long time.
Warmed that he'd stood up for our relationship, I grabbed his hand and started to lead him back to Denny. That was when I nearly ran into Denny. He'd finally decided to come up and talk to us. He was holding Abby's hand, much like I was holding Kellan's. I laughed as Denny and I stumbled, trying to avoid colliding. He laughed, too.
Recovering, Denny smiled and put his arm around Abby's waist. "Kiera, Kellan, this is my girlfriend, Abby. "
As Abby extended her hand to me, I subtly checked her out. She was adorably cute, with full pouty lips and twin dimples when she smiled. With her long blonde hair and pale gray eyes, she was almost the opposite of me, appearance-wise. But she was roughly my height and build so I felt on equal footing as we shook hands.
"Hello, Kiera, it's nice to finally meet you. "
Her accent was just as charming as Denny's was. I instantly wondered if Denny and Abby found each other's accents endearing. Or maybe, since they sounded alike, they didn't even hear it. Seemed like a shame if they didn't notice that marvelous inflection.
I watched her absorbing me as carefully as I was absorbing her. Her eyes took in my plain jeans and red Pete's shirt as mine took in her cute gray skirt with a matching, tailored jacket. I couldn't help but think that I'd be so wary and suspicious of me, if our roles were reversed. Regardless of how much she trusted Denny, he'd been alone with his ex for months, an ex that he'd been considering marrying one day. That had to strain even the strongest relationship. It was one of the reasons that I'd never told Kellan Denny was home. But Abby only gave me a warm, carefree smile. She completely trusted Denny. That fact made me trust her. If she had complete faith in him not cheating on her, then she had to have complete faith in herself that she'd never cheat on him.
"You too, Abby. Denny talks about you all the time. " Denny flushed a little after I said that, and I grinned at him.
He could be such a sap, and after recovering from the shock that Abby had been delayed for a few more weeks, he'd started talking to me about her whenever we got together. And he'd gushed about her whenever he did. Denny sort of had a point when he'd said that our disastrous breakup was a blessing in disguise-he was madly in love with the woman standing next to him, and I was immensely happy for him.
When Abby and I broke apart, Kellan extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Abby. " Abby surprisingly didn't eye Kellan with the open appeal that most women eyed him with. Sure, her eyes flicked over his face, but that was about all the notice she took of his appearance. And with her, I had a feeling that she wasn't ignoring his looks because of me or because of Denny. With her, I more felt that she just wasn't interested.
As she tentatively took Kellan's hand, she looked back at Denny. This must have been a weird moment for her, shaking hands with the man that had come between her current boyfriend and the ex love of his life. I couldn't imagine what she was feeling, except maybe grateful that she'd never hurt Denny like I had. I was grateful for that, too.
Denny nodded slightly and Abby looked back at Kellan. "It's nice to meet you, too, Kellan. Denny says. . . good things about you. "
Kellan's mouth dropped open in surprise as their hands separated. Bunching his brows, he shook his head at Denny. "You do? Why? I was an asshole to you. . . "
Kellan seemed genuinely bemused at why Denny gave him the time of day, let alone talked nicely about him. Denny stared at the floor for a second, before looking back up at the person he'd once been very close to. "And I nearly killed you. " Denny sighed, running a hand through his hair. "In the end. . . whose crime was greater?"
Kellan shook his head and looked away. Feeling a tension building, I put my hand on Kellan's stomach. He looked down on me before shifting his attention back to Denny. "I still took something that wasn't mine. Even if you feel guilty for the fight. . . you really shouldn't ever talk to me again. "
Kellan's eyes drifted to his boots, unable to keep Denny's gaze. Mutual guilt flooded me and I lowered my head as well. Happy ending or not, Kellan and I were jerks.
Denny surprisingly started laughing. Kellan and I both looked up at him. Grinning, he squeezed Abby tight and looked between the two of us. "You should see the looks on your faces right now. " His accent curled around the words as he gave us a goofy grin.
Kellan and I glanced at each other, equally perplexed, and Denny laughed a little more. Clapping Kellan's shoulder, he shook his head. "Look, I know your life was hard, and I realize that Kiera must have been a. . . salve. . . for you. " He raised his eyebrows. "I get it. I didn't like it, but I get it. "
Kellan gave him a small smile and Denny shifted his attention back to me. "And you. . . " He bit his lip and sighed. "I know I put my job first. " I shook my head and Denny cut me off. "No, I did, Kiera. " He pointed to the ground. "I was coming to Seattle, with or without you. I was going to Tucson, with or without you. And, I may have panicked and come back to Seattle when I'd thought I'd lost you, but. . . my head was still on my job. . . not you. "
Swallowing, he shook his head. "And I'm so sorry for that. And I don't blame you anymore, for falling for someone who could give you the attention you wanted, the attention you deserved. "
I swallowed and nodded, slight tears in my eyes. A silence built up around our foursome. Finally, Abby was the one who broke it. "Oh my God, will the three of you just hug already?"
We all looked over at her and grinned. Wiping my eyes, I stepped up to Denny, giving him a warm, friendly hug. He wrapped his arms around me, and we both muttered apologies. Kellan sighed, then circled his arms over the both of us.
Nestled in the safety of the two men who'd nearly torn me asunder, I felt a piece of myself healing. I felt the guilt slowly leaving. We were all fine. We had all survived. And surprisingly, we were all still friends.
As the three of us pulled apart, Kellan and I rejoined. Smiling, he kissed my head. Abby rejoined with Denny and I smiled over at her, pleased that Denny had found someone as warm, caring, and trusting as she appeared to be.
Kellan pointed back at where Denny and Abby's table had been taken over by a group of boys that barely looked legal enough to be here. "Someone nabbed your spot. " Running a hand back through his hair, Kellan shrugged. "The band's table has a couple of spots open. . . if you guys want to join us?"
Denny and Abby glanced at each other for a second, then Denny nodded. "Yeah, sounds nice. . . mate. "
Kellan smiled, gave me a final kiss on the head, then clapped Denny's back. As they started walking back to where Matt and Evan were talking with each other, all smiles over being back home, I heard Kellan lean down and mutter, "Hey, sorry for being an ass a few weeks ago. That was a. . . misunderstanding. "
Smiling up at him, Denny clapped his back. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to you being an ass. "
Abby giggled as she clung to Denny's hand. Kellan shook his head, but eventually laughed. The sight of them bonding again brought tears to my eyes. I'd really never thought that they'd get their friendship back. It took a pretty big person to see past the pain and betrayal. But Denny. . . was a pretty big person.
Denny and Abby left an hour or so later. Arms wrapped around each other, they seemed the picture of merriment. I smiled and waved as they disappeared out the doors to head back to the home that I'd helped Denny prepare for her. I wondered if he'd done what he'd said he'd wanted to do, and filled the house with flowers on the day of her arrival. Being the sap he was, I figured he had.
Justin's band and Kellan's band closed out the bar. In fact, Jenny and I had to force most of the boys to leave. Justin in particular had seemed happy to stay put until morning. It was so typical of a guy his age that I instantly felt even more relaxed around him. He was just another drunk guy, like all the other drunk guys I'd ever met. And as Matt and Griffin had to physically help him into Griffin's van, I wondered why I'd ever been nervous around him.
My own D-Bag was the last to leave. Sitting on the edge of the bar, Kellan chatted with the weary bar owner as I cleaned up the mess everyone had left behind. Clapping Kellan on the shoulder, Pete thanked him again for lining up a new band. Pete hated looking for talent, but liked the draw of a live act. And Rain's band was really starting to bring in the crowds-guys and girls alike. From what Cheyenne had confessed to me one afternoon, her crush had now moved on to Poetic Bliss's drummer, Meadow. I was relieved that not only was she not crushing on me anymore, but that she hadn't fallen for Tuesday. I'd just never be able to keep a straight face during any conversations revolving around her.
When I was finished wiping spills and refilling salt shakers, I smacked Kellan's thigh and wished Pete a goodnight. Pete waved us off and grumbled something about me not letting Kellan tend bar anymore, since he technically didn't work here. By the way he said it, though, it was clear that he'd hire Kellan on the spot, if Kellan were interested.
Waving goodbye to Pete, Kellan ignored his comment and any implied offers of employment. He had a job, one that about to explode on him. Holding my fingers tightly in his, Kellan hummed a song as he walked us to his car.
Loving the peace in his voice, the merriment in his eyes, I leaned into his side. His eyes brightened when they came upon his "baby. " As promised, I'd taken good care of her. I'd used only the best gas when filling her up and even had her waxed the other day, in preparation for Kellan's homecoming. The orange lot lights cast a glow over the car as it shined beneath them.
Running his hand over the polished black metal, Kellan gave me a boyish grin. "Thanks for not wrecking her. "
Kissing his jaw, I murmured, "I know what she means to you. . . I was good to her. " Releasing Kellan, I started walking around to the other side. "I only got her up over a hundred that one time. "
Kellan's jaw dropped as his eyes flashed down to inspect the Chevelle more closely. Shaking my head at him, I got into the passenger's side. Kellan was frowning at me when he got into his preferred spot-behind the steering wheel. "Not funny," he muttered.
I grinned and leaned over to kiss him but he pulled back. As I frowned, he smiled. "Happy Birthday, Kiera. "
I started to tell him that it wasn't my birthday yet, when I realized that it was. It was just a few hours into it, but technically, it was now my birthday. "Thank you, you're the first one to say it. "
Smirking, he leaned into me. "I know, I planned it that way. "
His lips were on mine then, soft and teasing as he moved against me. His tongue slid along my lip and I shuddered, delighting in the sensation. Cupping my cheek, he angled his mouth to fully enclose me. My breath heavier, I parted my lips to let him in. I groaned when his tongue brushed against mine. It had been weeks since our last physical encounter. My body was burning for him to touch me.
Inhaling his wondrous scent into me, I pulled back from his mouth. His lips parted, his eyes blazing, he stared at me intently, like he wanted to devour me. God. . . I wanted him to.
"Take me home, Kellan. " Placing my hand on his thigh, I leaned over to breathe in his ear, "Take me to our home. "
He groaned. Biting his lip, he closed his eyes for a second and stopped moving, stopped breathing. Pulling back, I tilted my head at him. "Kellan? Are. . . you okay?"
Peeking an eye open at me, he smiled around where he was still biting his lip; the grin was impossibly attractive. Nodding, he said, "Yeah, I just needed a minute. "
Giggling, I leaned back in to kiss him.
He drove us back to his place faster than he'd ever driven us before. Kissing as we walked through our front door, he stripped off his jacket and blindly threw it towards the hook. I heard it land on the floor. He kicked the door closed with his boot, then grabbed the backs of my thighs and lifted me up. As his lips traveled up my neck, he murmured, "Hmmm, which room should we christen first?"
I giggled, dropping my head to the side so he could fully explore the sensitive skin. "We've never done much in the laundry room?"
He instantly started heading for the hallway that went past the kitchen and into the small space where his washer and dryer was. I squirmed and laughed, rubbing against him in the process. "I was joking! Bed, Kellan. . . " I cupped his cheeks and softly kissed him. "I want to explore you in a bed. "
Giving me a look filled with love and wonder, he swung us around the other way and started heading upstairs. I kissed his neck as we walked. He rubbed circles into my thighs with his thumbs. He set me down once we were before the three doors on the second floor of his house-two bedrooms, one bathroom. All three doors were open. A rarity, since the room I'd shared with Denny was usually kept firmly closed. I'd cleaned it out, though, while Kellan was gone.
Pulling on his arm, I decided to take a second to show him. He frowned at me, then followed. As we stepped into the doorway, I leaned back and let him look in. He smiled when he saw it. I'd gotten rid of the furniture of Joey's-the bed, dresser, nightstand-all of it. I figured, if she hadn't come back in nearly two years to collect it, she never was going to. And it held too many bad memories anyway. I wanted it gone, to cleanse the home.
What I'd filled it with wasn't what you'd expect in a second bedroom. There wasn't a bed, there wasn't a cabinet holding winter clothes. There wasn't a TV. There was however, a bookcase, crammed full of every notebook of Kellan's that I'd ever come across. My old futon was here, folded up as a couch and Kellan's first guitar, the one he'd had as a boy, was hanging from the wall now, a nostalgic piece of art. I'd added a small desk under the window, highlighted in warm curtains. A CD player rested on an old coffee table in the corner, some favorite discs of Kellan's scattered around it. All in all, it was the perfect place for him to relax and dream up new masterpieces for his band.
Shaking his head, Kellan murmured, "Is this for me?"
Placing my hands on his chest, I nodded. "Yeah, since you don't need to have a roommate anymore, I thought I'd give you a better use for the spare room. " Placing a kiss on his strong jaw, I added, "It's all for you, for your art. "
He smiled peacefully at me and I frowned and jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "Except the closet. I needed somewhere to put my clothes. " And I also hoped that I could one day tuck a playpen in there. If Anna decided to keep her baby, I wanted to be ready.
Laughing, Kellan squeezed me tight. "It's perfect, thank you. "
Pulling away, he frowned at me. "Wait, it's your birthday. Shouldn't I be doing something for you?"
I smiled at his pout. "Well, we missed celebrating your birthday last month, so you can think of this as belated birthday present. " Biting my lip, I nodded over to the other bedroom door. "But there is one thing you can do for me. " I started pulling him across the hall.
Grinning, he eyed my body up and down, making me tingle all over. "Yeah? And that would be?"
Once he was inside our room, I closed the door behind him and pressed him up against it. His mouth dropped open as I melded the slight curves I had into his body. With our hips flush together, I could feel his responding. Picturing the way he would tease me, I ran my nose up his jaw. He swallowed and his hands clenched my hips, pulling me into the rigid ache he had.
Dropping his head back as I reached his chin, he gasped when I quickly leaned up and flicked my tongue along his upper lip. Breath heavier, he moaned my name. "Kiera. . . "
Squirming against his body, I trailed my mouth up his jaw. I had to stand on my tippy toes, to reach his ear. I quickly darted my tongue inside and he hissed in a sharp breath. I felt invincible in his arms, like I could do anything wrapped in the warmth of his love. Kellan had always lifted me up, encouraged me to feel like the person he saw when he looked at me. And sheltered in his arms, I was starting to feel that way.
Knowing it was something that would have normally had me huddled in a corner, mortified, I whispered something to him that I finally felt confident enough to whisper. It implied so much of how much I trusted him, how safe I felt with him, and even though it seemed dirty, it wasn't. It was beautiful and honest.
"I put some handcuffs under your pillow. . . if you want to use them on me. "
His eyes were huge when I pulled away from him. He'd joked, he'd teased, but I don't think he ever thought I'd actually concede. Honestly, I was surprised at myself. But I. . . trusted him. And I loved him. And I knew he'd never hurt me, or debase me, or make me feel anything but loved and comforted. . . and satisfied. Besides, it was one more thing I could cross off my bucket list.
My, how I'd grown since meeting Kellan.
Kellan's eyes softened as he understood just what I was offering him. Gently kissing me, he murmured, "I love you, Kiera. Happy Birthday. " I nodded, eagerly finding his lips again.