Chapter 26
New Beginnings
Kellan and the guys had to take off Monday morning for Los Angeles. We all met at Pete's for a proper send off. Lana, the record rep from the label, showed up in a sleek stretch limo to take them to the airport. Griffin was over the moon as he opened the door and peeked inside. Smiling back at Kellan, he exclaimed, "They got champagne in here, Kell!"
Kellan shook his head at Griffin and twisted to look at me. "I still can't believe he's gonna be a dad," he whispered, rolling his eyes.
"You and me both," I sighed.
Anna was still at my parents. I'd called her and tried to convince her to come home early, to see Griffin off before he left again, but she'd refused. Then Dad had gotten on the line and scolded me for not calling them the minute I'd found out Anna was pregnant. I'd tried to tell him that I'd been bound to secrecy, but he didn't much care about sibling pacts when the health and well being of his child was at stake. Once he'd gotten the stern lecture out of his system, Mom had gotten on the line and they'd both spent over an hour cautioning me on not following in my big sister's footsteps.
I'd repeatedly told them that I was being careful, but that only made them push the virtues of waiting to be intimate until I was married. They'd even grudgingly accepted the idea of Kellan as my potential spouse. Since I'd been in bed with Kellan at the time, the whole conversation had been kind of funny to me. And I probably shouldn't have, but I'd chosen that moment to break the news that I'd moved back in with Kellan. I swear I could still hear the disappointed groans.
As Griffin hopped out of the limo, Matt and Evan took a casual peek inside. On cloud nine, Griffin sauntered up to Kellan, tossing an arm over his shoulder. "This is gonna rock, man. Can you believe it? Chicks, money, mansions. . . there's nothing we won't be able to get. "
Frowning, Kellan raised an eyebrow at his bassist. "Making a record doesn't mean you're automatically going to hit it big, Griffin. We'll probably still be nobodies. . . just nobodies with a label hounding us to pay back the recording costs. "
Griffin snorted and ran his hand back through his pale hair. "Nah, won't happen. We got something none of those other guys got. "
Morbidly curious, I asked, "And what's that?"
Giving me a sly grin, Griffin thumped Kellan on the chest. "Him. "
Kellan shook his head and looked down as Griffin strolled off to smack his cousin on the back of the head. Leaning into Kellan's side, the warm, spring air clean and refreshing, I smiled up at him. "He's right. " Closing my eyes, I muttered, "And I can't believe I just agreed with Griffin. "
Kellan chuckled and I opened my eyes to find him gazing at me. "You're both ridiculous," he whispered, leaning in to kiss my cheek.
Holding Kellan tight, I watched Evan scoop Jenny into a huge hug. Matt wrapped his arms around Rachel in a more reserved way, but I clearly saw the love being exchanged in the smaller gesture. Griffin looked around for someone to hug, but the only people here, besides Lana, who had already slipped back into the car as she waited for her talent to wrap things up, were paired up. Griffin glumly looked around for a moment, then got into the car by himself. Again, I wished Anna was here for him. Odd or not, they kind of worked together.
After the couples broke apart, I gave Matt a brief hug. He smiled and hugged me back, then I was grappled from behind. Evan lifted me up, nearly plopping me over his shoulder. Kellan laughed at his friend as I screamed in surprise. Kellan put his arm around Jenny as Evan set me down. The two longtime friends said a couple of words that I couldn't hear, then hugged briefly. After that, Kellan gave Rachel a one-armed hug while Jenny patted Matt's back.
Then the boys were waving and climbing into their limousine to go chase their rising star. And, like Griffin, I was sure that they'd catch it. Kellan was too talented, too attractive. His fame was fated, and all I could do was hold his hand and tell him that he was worthy of it.
I had tears in my eyes as the black beauty pulled away. But they weren't tears of worry or sadness this time. No, I was proud of him, immensely proud of him. How many people get an opportunity like this and actually go for it? I had to believe it was a small amount that chose to reach for their dreams, even if they seemed impossible.
And once Kellan was safely tucked away in a recording studio, laying down the tracks that would soon be searing the souls of fans across the globe, I turned my attentions back to my dreams, my goals. I was graduating in a few weeks from college, and I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life.
I wanted to write. I wanted to be an author, with my name on the cover of a story that I'd created. I wanted it more than anything.
I found that all the time I'd spent writing my required papers, had opened up something in me. I enjoyed the quiet times I had, when I could let my thoughts pour out onto the page, instead of keeping them bottled inside. After Kellan and I had had an honest discussion about how badly we'd messed up our relationship by starting it with a betrayal. . . I'd started writing about it. At first, I was just jotting down notes as I had coffee with Cheyenne or Jenny, but after a while, I got immersed in it.
I started reliving the past as I wrote it. It was like watching a movie in my head, one that I wished I could have stopped sometimes, as parts of it were exceedingly painful, but it was therapeutic, too. I didn't hold back any details either. It was an emotional, soul bearing rollercoaster ride of just what had gone down between Kellan and I. Our slow build up, our passionate releases, our attempt to bottle up what we'd felt behind a wall of friendship, our heated fights-I wrote it all.
I figured I would come out the bad guy in the story, hated, reviled for betraying a man as good as Denny. Maybe it would be different, if Denny were the cold, abusive or jealous type, but he wasn't. Denny was a good man, a great man, so I knew that I'd come out as the heartless one. But that was okay. I'd done it, and I had to live with the consequences of doing it. And, anyway, that wasn't who I was anymore. I'd grown, being with Kellan. I'd learned a lot about myself, about who I wanted to be. I was still struggling through my insecurities to be that person, and that's something that I'd probably have to push myself with every day, but I was becoming that person.
The confident woman who'd shaken her booty for her boyfriend, while dancing around in the kitchen eating pizza-she was in here somewhere, and she was ready to come out.
Time flew by as I prepared myself to leave the life of higher education. With work and finals and my sister's return to Seattle, I barely had time to sleep. But somehow I managed to pull it off, and before I could comprehend it, the middle of June was upon me. . . and I was about to become a University of Washington graduate.
As promised, Kellan flew back from Los Angeles to attend the ceremony. Sitting on our bed, he distracted me with small talk about his album while I searched through my dresser for something suitable to wear. As I listened to Kellan's voice as he went over the technical aspect of recording, I felt butterflies of excitement stir in my belly. I'd done it. It had been hard, and taken a toll on me, for sure, but I'd made it through the academics. And now I had to be put on display.
That was definitely the downside to graduating. But oddly, I was looking forward to it. Maybe because I knew Kellan was going to be there. And Anna. And my parents, since Kellan had gotten them plane tickets to come out here just to see me graduate. Even Denny had said he'd come. Everyone I considered family would be in the audience, cheering me on. I found a lot of strength in that.
Holding up a pair of black slacks and a gray button-up shirt, I wondered if it screamed "graduate. " A voice in my doorway pulled my attention that way.
"No, not that one. " Anna stood leaning against the frame, shaking her head. She took a step into the room and extended her hand to me. "Here, wear this. " Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "Lord knows I won't be wearing it for a while. "
Taking the small scrap of fabric from her, I smiled down at her protruding belly. Anna was sixteen weeks along, almost halfway to her November due date. In another month, she'd be able to find out if her prediction was correct, if she was having a girl or not. She had a bulge that was unmistakable now, and utterly adorable on her. She'd grown to embrace the new curvature of her body, no longer hiding it behind baggy sweats and shirts. The maternity shirt she had on now clung to her hormonally enlarged chest. The pale pink fabric then clung to the baby in her belly before meeting back up with her hips. It was as seductive as a mom-to-be could dress.
Her friends at work had been surprisingly supportive when Anna had finally spilled the news. Her manager had given her a larger-sized Hooters uniform, and told her that her pregnancy wasn't a problem; girls working for the restaurant chain got pregnant all the time. Even though I'd told Anna that they wouldn't, that legally, they couldn't, Anna had seemed relieved that they hadn't fired her.
Anna felt even more relieved when the manager had confessed that she'd had the same fears when she'd gotten pregnant as a waitress. Then the level-headed woman started showing my sister the ropes behind the scenes. Anna surprisingly loved it. And she was good at it, too. I think it gave her confidence, having something to fall back on that didn't rely on her looks. Not that my sister really needed that much help in the confidence department.
Smiling at the image of my devil-may-care sister trying her hand at responsibility, I unfolded the outfit she'd just handed me. It was a short, tight little black dress, the kind that was perfect for almost every occasion. I held it up to my body and twisted my lips. Anna dressed a lot more provocatively than me, and a lot of skin would be showing.
Kellan, still lying on our bed, murmured his approval. "That. . . is perfect. "
I glanced over at him. His midnight blue eyes were locked onto my cleavage. The neck line was a low-cut square and would rest just above where it needed to when I put it on. I doubt I'd be able to wear a bra with it. Anna chuckled and I turned to watch her rub her stomach. She gave me a warm smile. "You'll be beautiful, sis. "
I inhaled and stood up just a little straighter. I felt beautiful already, just being near the people who loved me. And even though the dress made me cringe, I would wear it, and wear it proudly. Because today was a day for bravery. And I had role models of that bravery all around me. Anna was brave everyday that she struggled through her situation. And just last week. . . she bought a crib. I helped her put it up in my old room and she cried when it was completed. I had faith that her bravery would extend to keeping the baby. . . and someday telling Griffin about it.
And Kellan was brave. Not for recording an album in L. A. No, I don't think that even fazed him. Kellan was brave, because he was coming to Pete's with me, to celebrate with our friends at a party in my honor. . . and his dad was going to be there. I'd already gotten a confirming text from him when he'd landed in Seattle. Kellan didn't look like it, as he smiled charmingly at me, but he was freaking out.
And Kellan was also brave. . . because he was letting my parents stay with us.
From across the hall, I heard my father's heavy steps as he walked over to stand beside Anna. Resting a hand on her shoulder, he looked into the room and frowned at the provocative dress I was holding to my body. Then he forced the frown into a small smile. "Very beautiful, sweetheart. Your mother and I are very proud of you. . . even if you're graduating here in Washington and not at our Alma Mater. "
Dad sighed at my schooling choice, and Anna rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her arm and held her tight. The surprise pregnancy had been a shock to my parents-Anna had told me that Dad had cried-but they had, of course, immediately turned into the loving, supportive people I knew them to be. They'd even offered Anna free room and board if she wanted to move back to Ohio. She'd refused, though, deciding to stay here. Maybe that was because of Griffin, maybe me, or maybe Anna finally felt. . . home.
"Thank you, Daddy. "
They were all staring at me now, and I felt heat start to creep into my cheeks. Then I laughed the embarrassment away. "Can I. . . change now?" I asked my dad and sister.
Anna giggled and backed away, pulling on Dad's arm. "Come on, Dad, let's go get something to eat. . . I'm starving. "
Dad frowned and resisted Anna's pull. He looked over at Kellan, still comfortably lying on our bed. "Kellan, son, you want to give me a hand with. . . something?" Dad asked awkwardly.
I shook my head, seeing right through Dad's painful attempt to get Kellan out of the room so I could change in private. Poor guy. He was still struggling with his baby girl being all grown up. He had to realize, since Kellan and I shared this bedroom, that Kellan had seen me naked before. Hell, Kellan had tied me to his headboard and stroked a feather over every bare inch of skin on me before. . . not that my dad needed to know that.
Grinning at my dad, Kellan stood up. "Sure, no problem. "
He paused to kiss my head before leaving and I whispered a thank you for humoring my father. Maybe Dad realized the respect Kellan was showing him, for he clapped him on the shoulder as they left the room together. Then Dad started talking about baseball with him and I couldn't contain my smile. Dad was making an effort to bond with Kellan. That meant a lot to me.
Kellan drove us to school when I was ready to go. I smoothed my tight dress over my thighs, played with the guitar shaped necklace around my neck, then twisted the promise ring on my finger. I couldn't stop moving. Nervous, excited energy was pouring through my body. When I started the cycle of movement over again, Kellan grabbed my hand, calming me with his silent support. It worked, too.
Once there, my mother started bawling. It made me sniffle, watching the older version of my sister and I cry, but I managed to keep it all together as I hugged her. Dad shuffled her off, and Anna gave me a swift hug. The baby kicked right as our stomachs connected and I stared down at it.
"Did you feel that?"
Anna laughed at my question and rubbed her side. "The little gymnast? Yeah, I feel that constantly. " Contently smiling, she shook her perfect head of dark brown hair. "I'm just grateful that she's moved away from my bladder. "
Kellan chuckled at Anna, slinging an arm around my waist. Anna gave me a quick kiss on the cheek then wobbled off after Mom and Dad. As always, Kellan stayed by my side, and walked me to where I needed to go. My eyes on the expanse of thigh my dress was showing, I leaned into his side. "I love how you take care of me," I told him.
Looking down at me, he cocked an eyebrow. "You don't think I'm. . . clingy? Always needing to be near you?"
I laughed and looked up at him. "No. . . I think you got that part just right. "
He gave me a crooked grin, then glancing up, stopped me. Wondering why, I glanced up too. A springy redhead that had given me no end of grief over my time here was standing a few feet in front of us. Candy. Kellan's. . . ex. She had her back to us as she talked with a small group of friends, her two spies included. I considered just going around the woman, but she started turning in our direction and I blinked in surprise. Her belly was swollen with life, and she was much larger than my sister. She really was pregnant.
Kellan raised an eyebrow at seeing her condition, but didn't comment on it. When Candy noticed us watching her, she did a double take. I sighed when she disengaged herself from her friends and started heading our way. So much for closing out the school year with never seeing her again. Oh well. Maybe we could finally get that introduction that we've never, ever had.
Kellan watched her impassively as she approached us. Candy lowered her eyes and looked a little glum. Before I could say anything to her, she started speaking to me. "Hey, I just wanted to apologize. . . for all the crap I used to give to you about Kellan. "
She peeked up at me, then over at him. Her freckled cheeks flushed with color as Kellan bunched his brows. Shaking her head, she shrugged. "I guess I wanted attention. " She looked down again. "I was pretty ignored in my high school, and being with you, gave me a certain amount of. . . clout. . . here. " Her sad eyes looked back up at him. "Sorry. That was pretty shallow of me. "
Kellan gave her a half smile and shook his head. "It doesn't matter. " His eyes drifted down her belly, then over to me. "We're not those people anymore, Candy. " He looked back at her. "Don't worry about it. "
I smiled that he finally remembered her name. Candy nodded, then, rubbing her stomach, walked away. I was curious over who the father was, but didn't ask. Rumor had it that it was our ethics professor. Our married ethics professor. But, as I knew, rumors could be wrong. Then again, they could also be right.
Shaking off the drama that, for once, didn't involve me, I clutched Kellan's hand and went to find the one girl I did want to introduce him to. Cheyenne was just coming out of the bathroom when she spotted me. She squealed and gave me a huge hug, forcefully yanking me from Kellan.
"Kiera, can you believe it! We did it!" Her slight southern drawl thickened in her excitement. Then her pale eyes seemed to notice that I wasn't alone. She eyed Kellan, then gave him a cute smile that made her eyes sparkle. "You must be the boyfriend?"
Kellan nodded and extended his hand. "Kellan. "
Shaking his hand, she muttered to me, "Now I can see why you're straight. I think he'd make any person reconsider their orientation. "
Hearing her, Kellan raised an eyebrow. Then he got a devilish smile and locked gazes with me. I knew he'd figured it out then, that Cheyenne had been the girl at school who'd kissed me. Rolling my eyes at the hopelessly attractive smile on his face, I shoved his shoulder back. "Why don't you go have a seat with my parents. "
Grinning, Kellan looked between Cheyenne and me. "You sure? Are you. . . good. . . here?"
He chuckled a little, his lips curving seductively. Rolling my eyes again, I forcefully turned him around and made him walk away from us. He looked back at us before disappearing around a corner-the grin there was decidedly inappropriate. Men.
Cheyenne laughed a little as she turned back to me. "Kellan seems. . . nice. "
I shook my head. "Nice. . . really isn't the best word to describe him. " Amazing, hot, sexy, soulful, talented, deep, playful, moody, loving, and at times, considerate, yes. . . but nice? Well, okay, maybe it did suit him.
The actual ceremony was a blur to me. I was so energized and emotional, I only recalled bits and pieces. Seeing my family in the stands-my mom crying, my dad secretly wiping his eyes, Anna whistling around her fingers, and Denny and Kellan beaming at me as they sat side by side. I vaguely remembered the speeches and music. I recalled my name being announced and the ear-splitting noise from my cheering section. And then it was over and we were back in Kellan's car, driving off to Pete's.
My mom, dad, and Anna piled out of the car once Kellan parked it, eager to start on the celebration. I watched my sister hug Jenny and Kate in the parking lot, Cheyenne meeting up with them a couple of seconds later. Once my parents and my friends disappeared through the front doors, I unfastened my seat belt and prepared to join them.
"Coming?" I asked, cracking the car door.
Kellan hadn't moved since stopping the car; his hands were still fixed on the steering wheel. His eyes glued to the image of the bar in his rearview mirror, he muttered, "I'll be there in a sec. "
Pale, he looked like he might start the car and drive off once I left. Closing my door, I twisted back around to him. "Hey, you okay?"
He reluctantly pulled his gaze from the mirror to look at me. Eyes wide, he whispered, "I don't think I can do this, Kiera. "
I put my hand on his cheek and held his gaze. "Yes, you can. You can do anything. " He shook his head and I pressed my lips to his. He didn't kiss me back at first. Too scared or freaked out about facing his biological father, his lips were rigid against mine. Using everything he'd taught me over the years, I teased, licked and sucked his mouth into submission. Within moments, he was kissing me back heartily, his earlier trepidation gone.
When he clutched my cheek and looked about ready to lay me down on his front seat, I pushed his chest away from me. Eyes burning into mine, he breathed raggedly. I bit my lip at the sight of this insanely erotic, yet deeply sensitive man. "Come on, people are waiting for us. Let's go say hello. "
He shook his head a little as I opened my door. His eyes clearer, he frowned at me. "You turned me on. . . that's cheating. "
Laughing, I got out of the car. When he popped up on the other side of it, I shook my head. "When do I ever not turn you on?"
Smiling at me acknowledging my attractiveness, he closed his door. "Well, finally you understand the problem that has plagued me from day one. "
Holding my hand out to him, I waited for him to join me. "Yes, I do. " When our hands met up, I leaned over to nibble on his ear. "And I'll fix your little problem later, I promise. "
He gave me a devilish grin as he pulled me towards the bar. "Let's get this over with then. "
Kellan tensed and held his breath as he stepped through the double doors. Only seeing the usual suspects, and not an older version of himself, he instantly relaxed. As the crowd assembled near the doors cheered for me, my cheeks blossomed with heat. I held my head high, though, proud of my accomplishment, and accepted the praise from my friends, family and coworkers.
As it was a Saturday afternoon, the day crew was on shift. Troy smiled at Kellan as we walked past the bar, and Kellan smiled back. As long as the person who fancied him was respectful to me, Kellan was always cordial with them, even the guys. Hun and Sweetie, the gray-haired ancient waitresses that owed this place during daylight hours shuffled around, bringing everyone sodas and water. And Sal, Pete's business partner and the daytime cook, stepped out with plates and plates of food. Everybody was celebrating.
I looked around the sea of familiar faces in the warm, familiar bar. The cream-colored walls were just as cheery as when I'd first stepped inside here. The oak floor just as worn. A few more bar signs dotted the walls and windows, but overall, it looked exactly the same. Although, the instruments that now held a place of honor on the darkened stage were a bright pink, a deep purple and an electric teal. One even had Hello Kitty stickers on it. But Jenny's portrait of our boys was behind the feminine instruments, keeping the boys place in the bar, even if it was a smaller place now.
Friends and study mates came up to me, giving me warm, congratulatory hugs. I returned them and gave the graduates my own well wishes. Cheyenne gave me a hug, followed by Meadow. The uniquely named woman was playing the bar later tonight with her band, but by the way she was holding Cheyenne's hand, it was clear that she was here for her. I grinned at the schoolmate, that had saved my butt on numerous occasions when it came to poetry, and her lyrical girlfriend. Meadow had hair the color of a deep sunset, and eyes as dark as Denny's, but the small smile on her lips exactly matched Cheyenne's, and I was thrilled that the sweet woman had found love after all.
As Kellan hopped up to the bar to get our table some drinks, Denny and Abby stepped through the doors. Kellan greeted them first, clapping Denny on the shoulder as he pointed back at me. Making sure my parents were comfortably seated, I jumped up to toss my arms around Denny.
He was all grins as I pulled away. "I did it, Denny!"
Tilting his dark head, he gave me a lopsided grin. "Did you ever think you wouldn't?"
My grin matching his, I nodded. "Yeah, there were times when school was just about the last thing on my mind. "
Denny and I both turned to look over at Kellan talking to Troy at the bar. Smirking, Denny twisted back to me. "Yeah, I know. " Just when I was feeling a bit of guilt seep into me, he laughed. "It's a miracle you graduated. "
His humor cooling my feelings, I thumped him on the chest. "Quiet, you. "
Laughing at me, he slung his arms around Abby and kissed her head. Then Abby gave me a brief hug and congratulated me. I shook my head at the warm. . . forgiving. . . pair and made room for them at the table with my parents. My mom looked between Denny, Kellan, and me with a very confused face. She must have pieced together what had really happened between the three of us, and was probably wondering how we could all still be friends. I wondered that too sometimes. . . I was very blessed.
As Kellan brought the table sodas, I tried to make sure my sister was as comfortable as could be. I even found a pillow in the back room for her to lean against, since bar chairs aren't notorious for being comfortable.
Just as she was giggling and thanking me, the doors burst open with loud fanfare.
Jaw dropping, I spun to watch Griffin and the rest of the D-Bags step inside. I hadn't realized that they'd come up with Kellan. I was touched that they'd come back, then I remembered that they had just as much reason to come up as Kellan did.
Evan's eyes locked onto Jenny a split-second before she jumped into his arms and showered him with kisses. Matt shook his head at Evan and looked back at Rachel walking through the door behind him. The Latin-Asian beauty tenderly grabbed the blond guitarist's hand as they quietly screamed their affection in one, simple glance. All of the D-Bags' hearts resided in Seattle. Even Griffin. . . if he ever stopped to think about it.
As it was, he was looking around the packed bar for someone. . . for Anna. She stiffened in her chair and her face went sheet white. She still hadn't told him she was pregnant. She hadn't told Matt or Evan either, and had made every person who saw her condition promise to not tell anyone who might tell Griffin. She'd made everyone promise that she could be the one to tell him, even though that terrified her.
And now. . . the time was upon her. He was here, she was here, and with her tight, clingy, outfit, even Griffin wouldn't miss the fact that she was clearly expecting.
She stood up quicker than I'd seen her move in ages, since she liked to play up the helpless pregnant role. Breathing faster than normal, her eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape. Kellan walked up to greet his band mates as I grabbed Anna's arms, holding her in place.
"Let me go, Kiera," she snarled.
I shook my head. "No, you have to tell him, Anna. He has a right to know. "
She grit her jaw and glared at me, but it was too late for her to escape-Kellan was bringing the boys to the table. With my parents watching the exchange between Anna and me curiously, I let her go. She started shaking as Griffin approached her.
At first, Griffin didn't notice. A crooked grin on his face, he walked up to her and nonchalantly shoved his tongue down her throat. Anna made a slight noise and her knees seemed to buckle a little. My stomach turned at the sight. Dad looked about ready to clock Griffin.
Evan and Matt behind Griffin were staring at Anna wide-eyed. Clearly, they'd noticed what Griffin hadn't. They both looked up at me. I waved a greeting, then nodded at their unasked questions. Yes, she was really pregnant. Yes, the jackass kissing her was the father. Both of their mouths dropped open as they looked back at Griffin.
Finished mauling Anna, he wrapped his arms around her. That's when he seemed to notice that there was more of her to hug. Looking down, his light brows furrowed in confusion. "Uh, Anna?" Stepping back from her, he poked a finger into her stomach. "What happened to you?"
Anna batted his hand away, her lips tightening in a classic, hormonal mood swing. "You happened to me. . . ass hat. "
Griffin twisted his lips, like he didn't understand. Matt smacked him over the head. "Dude, I told you to wrap it up! Don't you ever listen to me?"
Griffin sneered at his cousin behind him. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
I cringed at Griffin being so crude in front of my father. Dad, his face pale as he realized just who his grandchild's other half was, stood up. His thinning hair seemingly graying by the second, he poked Griffin in the shoulder. Annoyed, Griffin twisted back around.
Lifting his chin, our dad calmly told the bassist, "You will watch your language around my daughter, especially when she's carrying your child. " He raised his eyebrow to Griffin, to drive that point home, in case Griffin was still confused.
Griffin shook his head, then finally the light turned on. His eyes widening, he stared at Anna's stomach in absolute horror. "You're pregnant?"
Anna smirked and rolled her eyes. "God, I hope our daughter somehow gets Kiera's smarts. . . otherwise she's doomed. "
Griffin's face softened as he looked up into Anna's eyes. "Daughter? We're gonna have a girl?"
A slight smile crept into his face and Anna's eyes moistened. She shook her head. "I don't know yet, I just feel like. . . I feel like we made a girl. "
His face more serious than I'd ever seen it, Griffin slowly put his hand on Anna's stomach. Her eyes welled so much I doubt she could even see the father of her baby anymore. Surprisingly, Griffin's eyes were a little moist too, as he ran his thumb over the bump. I hoped and prayed the baby took this opportunity to kick, so he would feel it.
Everyone around us was silent as Griffin stared at Anna's belly. Then, so soft I almost missed it, Griffin murmured, "A girl. . . I'm gonna have a little girl?"
Tears dripping down her cheeks now, Anna whispered, "I don't know if I'm keeping her. "
My mother took a step forward at hearing Anna admit that; she hadn't admitted it to anyone but me. Dad grabbed Mom's arm, though, stopping her as he watched Griffin intently. Mom bit her lip, looking like she wanted to start in on a four hour speech. It was her first grandbaby after all.
Griffin snapped his head up. "What? You can't give away my kid?" He looked around the bar until he found Kellan, watching from behind Matt and Evan. "She can't do that, right, Kell? Don't I have a say?"
I had to swallow the lump in my throat at the look on Griffin's face. I'd never, ever seen him look so. . . panicked. It was like he'd just been offered something he really wanted, and then had it snatched away. He looked terrified.
Kellan started to answer him, but Anna brought her fingers to Griffin's cheek, forcing his eyes back to hers. Griffin was shaking when she spoke. "I won't. . . if you want to keep her. . . if you want to do this with me. . . I won't give her up. "
I held my breath, waiting for his answer. I noticed my mom and dad clenching hands as they waited, too. We all wanted this baby, but it wasn't our choice. Apparently. . . it was Griffin's.
He swallowed, then looked down at her stomach again. After what seemed like an eternity, he looked back up at her. "Can we name her after my grandma?"
Anna started to sob, then nodded and threw her arms around his neck. Griffin smiled, inhaling a deep breath as he held her back. The rest of the band glanced at each other, smiling. Through my own tears and sobs, I heard Matt lean down to Rachel by his side. "One of us should probably tell her that Grandma's name was Myrtle. "
I laughed through my sobs, grateful that at least Griffin would have his more sensible band mates to help raise this baby. Thank God for that.
I turned away from the happy couple when I heard Griffin murmur, "Can we still screw when you're like this?" I noticed a group of people that had quietly entered the bar during that dramatic moment. My jaw dropped as I stared.
An older, middle-aged man was standing awkwardly by the bar. Dressed in a nice, black, collared shirt and khaki slacks, he seemed like he could be heading out to one of the golf clubs around the area. Lean and muscular with a head full of thick, sandy brown hair, he was one of those men that you knew would age well. He'd still be attractive at sixty. But that wasn't what stole my breath. It was that his looks were a spitting image of Kellan's. Or rather, Kellan was a spitting image of him. The resemblance was. . . unmistakable. The jaw, the nose, the brows. . . everything. . . right down to the midnight blue eyes.
I was staring at Kellan's father, his natural father.
The man noticed me staring and nodded, lifting his hand in a small wave. I waved back, then noticed the two kids by his side. Well, one was a kid, the other was probably just a few years younger than me. The girl, Hailey, was Kellan's sister. She had the same light brown hair and dark blue eyes that Kellan and his father had. Seeing her father wave at me, she waved, too. A grin broke out on her face when she noticed her half-brother. The grin was so similar to Kellan's, I blinked.
Beside her was a young boy, maybe ten. Like the rest of Kellan's family, he had light hair and blue eyes, although his were a more traditional pale blue. He was staring at Kellan's back with a look of awe on his face. I had a feeling he'd heard a lot about his older brother lately. He clearly already idolized him.
My eyes slowly swung to Kellan's. He was in a conversation with Evan, most likely about making sure to keep a close eye on Griffin around his future child. Kellan hadn't noticed his family yet. Feeling my eyes on him, he lifted his gaze to mine. Not able to change my shocked expression, I watched Kellan frown. Then he seemed to realize what I'd be so shocked about and his face paled.
He closed his eyes, willing himself not to turn around. I quickly worked my way around the people congratulating Griffin and Anna. Making my way to him, I cupped his cheeks. "Kellan. . . it's time. "
He shook his head, his eyes still closed. "I can't, Kiera. " Peeking his eyes open, he cringed. "Ask them to come back later. . . I just can't right now. "
I shook my head, brushing my thumbs over his cheeks. "You can do this, Kellan. . . I know you can. "
He exhaled a shaky breath, then slowly started to turn his head. His breath was faster when he finally spotted the man who'd created him. Taking a step back, he reached down and clenched my hand, hard. His whole body started to tremble as he stared over at the three people that had turned his life upside down. Kellan's father lifted his hand, then let it fall when Kellan didn't react.
Kellan snapped his head back to me. "I can't. . . I can't do this. . . please, let's just go. " Turning to me, he grabbed my arms. "I'll go anywhere you want to go. Let's just sneak out the back and we can do anything you want to do. . . "
Inhaling a deep breath, I stared Kellan down. He stopped rambling about all of the places we could go and all of the things we could do, and stared back at me. When he was calmer, he whispered, "I'm scared. . . "
I nodded, tears in my eyes. "I know. . . but I'm here, and I'll help you. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happen?"
He swallowed and murmured something that sounded like, "I could care. " Closing his eyes, he nodded. He took a minute before facing his father. When he did, he seemed stronger. In fact, his strength seemed to grow with each step he took towards the man. I wasn't sure if he was drawing the courage from me, but I hoped so, since he constantly gave me courage.
When he was almost toe to toe with the man, he stopped. Kellan's father smiled; it was a sad one. "Hello, son," he whispered.
Kellan stiffened, clenching my hand, and nodded but didn't say anything. A tension built up as father and son stared at each other. Their appearance was so incredibly alike that I had to imagine every person in this bar now knew that the man who'd died in a car accident a few years ago, hadn't genetically been related to Kellan. This man before him now. . . clearly was.
Just as I wondered how to get one of the two silently brooding men to speak, Hailey stepped forward. She sighed as she looked between her half-brother and her father, then put a hand on Kellan's arm. Kellan looked down on her and his entire posture relaxed; I could feel the blood returning to my fingertips.
Putting her hand on her other brother's shoulder, she introduced him to Kellan. "Kellan, this is Riley. Ry, this is our older brother. . . Kellan. "
Riley, still dazed, extended his hand to Kellan. "Wow, I watched some of your shows online. You're. . . really good. I just started playing the guitar, but I hope I'm as good as you some day. " He gave Kellan a charming, awkward smile, and Kellan laughed a little.
Reaching out to scruff his hair, he murmured, "Maybe I can teach you a thing or two one day. "
Watching Kellan start to bond with the family he'd never had, I felt the tears stinging my eyes and closing my throat. I choked it back as Kellan's dad cleared his throat. It was obviously affecting him too.
Kellan timidly looked back up at him, and Hailey, seeing the beginning of a serious conversation, started leading Riley over to the pool tables. "Come on, Ry, let's give them a minute. " I thought to do the same, but Kellan's death grip returned when I tried to pull my hand away. Resting my other hand on his arm, I gave him what support I could as his father began to speak.
"Look, I know you're mad at me. . . for walking out on you, and I don't blame you, but I was young and foolish and I hope you can give me a chance to make-"
Kellan cut the older version of himself off with one sharp question. "Do you know what they did to me?"
His father bunched his brows. "Who? Your parents?"
Kellan nodded, his jaw tight. "Did you know what they would do. . . how they would raise me. . . when you left? Did you know what sort of people they were?"
Again, his father blinked. "John and Susan? What are you talking about?" His eyes narrowed as he eyed Kellan cautiously.
Kellan cringed at hearing his parents' names spoken, then he took a step towards his father. When he answered his father's question, his voice, his jaw. . . his entire body was tight. "Did you know that you left me with people who would viciously abuse me. . . day in, day out?" His voice shaking, he quietly spat out, "Did. . . you. . . know?"
His father's face paled as he finally understood what Kellan was telling him, what Kellan had experienced growing up in that hellhole. By the tears in his eyes and the horror on his face, I don't think he knew. Sometimes people that you thought you knew really well, could turn out to be people that you didn't know at all. That seemed to be the case here.
"Kellan. . . no. . . I had no idea. I thought. . . " He swallowed, his eyes misting. "I thought I was leaving you to a happy home, happier than I could have given you back then. " As Kellan trembled, his father put his hand on his arm. "I know you won't understand, but I was a mess back then. I didn't know what I was doing. I got caught up in something with your mother that. . . " he sighed, "was a horrible mistake. "
Quickly, he amended with, "Not that you were a mistake, just, the situation. . . "
Kellan sighed, softening as he looked down on me. "Yeah, I think I get that part. " He held his eyes to mine and I could see the guilt in them, for what he'd done to Denny with me. If Kellan had gotten me pregnant back then. . . I wondered just what he would have done. Tried to raise the baby with me? Or left the baby with the person who he believed was the more responsible parent, in our case, Denny?
I honestly didn't know what Kellan would have done. He didn't seem to know either, and the idea that he may have made the same choice, softened him towards his father some. Kellan nodded at his dad, and exhaling with relief that Kellan somewhat understood, his dad smiled; the smile was just as beautiful as Kellan's.
"I tried to see you once, you know. When you were about Riley's age. "
Kellan blinked and stared up at him. "No, Mom never mentioned that you. . . "
His father lowered his eyes. "Yeah, she told me that you didn't know about me, that you believed John was your father. " He looked back up at Kellan. "Was that true?"
Kellan shook his head. "No, I've always known that I was a bastard child. "
His father flinched at his harsh description then shook his head. "She convinced me that I'd hurt you, by showing up in your life. That it was better if I stayed away. . . so I did. "
Swallowing the emotion building, Kellan's father shook his head again. "She was manipulating me, because I hurt her. I never should have listened to her. I should have tried harder to see you. . . I'm so sorry. "
Kellan looked away and I watched a tear fall from the corner of his eye as he closed them. "I never knew you even thought about me," Kellan whispered, his voice still trembling.
His dad put his hand on his arm. "Of course I did. What father could forget about his son, his firstborn?" When Kellan looked back at him, the weary man sighed. "I stayed away for the wrong reasons, thinking I was protecting you by letting you believe the lie, even after their deaths. " He choked up on the word death and cleared his throat. "But I'm here now, and I'd like to get to know you. "
Slapping on a casual smile, the same smile Kellan could wear, practically on cue, he extended his hand to Kellan. "Hello. My name is Gavin Carter, and I'm your father. "
Kellan grinned, then shook his head as he dropped my hand to grab his father's. "I'm Kellan Kyle. . . and I guess I'm your son. "
Laughing as they shook hands, Gavin said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Kellan. "
Kellan nodded. "Yeah. . . you too. "
I was already holding back the sniffles when Gavin laid his other hand over their clasped ones. "I don't want to push you, but you have a home with us in Pennsylvania, Kellan. Whenever you're ready, you're always welcome there. "
I wiped the tears off my cheeks as Kellan sniffed and nodded. Clasping his shoulder, Gavin said, "Can I buy you a beer?"
Kellan looked back at me, but I grinned and nodded. He needed this. He needed them. Even if he liked to think that he was fine on his own, a piece of Kellan had been missing from birth. He'd filled it with music, he'd filled it with sex, and he'd even filled it with me. But what he'd needed, was what he was now being offered-a family.
Kissing his cheek, I left him to begin the bonding process. I was still wiping my eyes as I walked back to the table where my parents were deep in conversation with Griffin and Anna; from what I could tell, they were trying to sell the couple on the idea of getting married. Griffin was giving them a blank expression, and I figured his mind was more on what he could do to Anna's body once he got her home. I was immediately grateful that I no longer lived with Anna.
Denny came up to me as I approached the group. Titling his head at Kellan, he asked, "Everything alright? What was that about?"
Looking over at the father and son, I smiled. "Everything's great, really great. "
When I looked back to Denny, he was frowning, staring at Gavin like he was trying to place him. I could tell the minute he did. His dark eyes wider, he snapped his head back to me. "Is that man. . . ? Is he. . . related to Kellan?"
I nodded, biting my lip. "That's his dad, his real dad. "
Denny closed his eyes as years of understanding seemed to flood his features. "God. . . that explains. . . a lot. " Opening his eyes, he bunched his brows, concerned. "Is Kellan. . . alright?"
I smiled that Denny still cared about Kellan, too. "Yeah, I think he'll be just fine. "
Looping my arm through Denny's I looked around at all of the people in my life-Evan and Jenny cuddling together on a chair, Matt and Rachel talking quietly in a corner, Anna and Griffin giggling while my parents mentioned that it was never too late to give abstinence a try. Rita had just walked in and sheepishly waved her hand to me in a polite greeting. Kate was showing Abby a text message she'd gotten from Justin, who'd apparently taken a fancy to Kate when he'd been up here visiting. Kellan's siblings were laughing, playing pool together as their long-lost brother caught up with his dad. And Kellan. . . was actually laughing as he clinked his beer bottle against his dad's.
"I think we'll all be fine, Denny," I said, smiling up at the first love of my life that had somehow morphed into the best friend of my life.
Smiling down at me, Denny nodded and gave me my favorite goofy grin. "I think you might be right. "
When the evening started winding down, people slowly filtering out of the bar for more private conclusions to their nights, Kellan and I slow danced together near the edge of the stage. Poetic Bliss had just wrapped up their set and the vibrant girls were loitering around the stage, chatting with their growing fan base. Kellan and I ignored them all and continued dancing to a non-existent beat.
His arms wrapped around my waist, Kellan smiled as he stared down at me. His dad had left some time ago, but they were meeting for breakfast in the morning. It warmed my heart that Kellan was giving him a chance. Everyone deserved at least one chance.
Tilting his shaggy head, Kellan gave me a crooked smile. "So, graduate. . . what's next?"
I inhaled deep and smiled. "Anything. . . everything. "
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to mine. I cherished the warmth and love that I felt in the connection. His hand reached up to curl around my neck, as he deepened the moment between us. I felt the familiar fire start to burn in me, more intense than ever before, strengthened by the trust and commitment we were forging daily.
Separating our lips, Kellan rested his head against mine. "I have to go back soon, to finish the album. "
I sighed and stroked his cheek. "I know," I whispered.
"And after that. . . will be another tour. . . to promote the album. " He lifted the edge of his lip in a sad smile.
I kissed the corner of his mouth, making his smile widen. "It will be okay. . . we'll find a way to stay close, just like we have the past few weeks. "
Kellan nodded, his face subdued as he thought about how often we would be apart from each other. He hated being separated as much as I did, and for the same reasons I did-we missed each other. While Denny might be my best friend, Kellan was my soul mate, and being apart was. . . painful.
We silently danced together while people moved around our lightly swaying bodies. Over Kellan's shoulder, I watched Evan and Jenny walking out the doors arm in arm, Matt and Rachel close behind them. Anna and Griffin had left not too long after their reunion. What they were doing now, I didn't want to think about. The only couple still here was Denny and Abby. They were laughing at the bar together, looking perfectly content in their own little world.
Sighing, I rested my head against Kellan's chest, thankful that at least I had tonight with him. Kissing my head, he whispered in my hair, "Come with me. "
Pulling back, I scrunched my brows. "What? Go with you. . . where?"
I looked at the front doors, thinking maybe he was ready to go home. Hopefully, by the time we got there, my parents would be asleep. They'd left several hours ago, so the chances were good. The chances were also good that my dad, ever over-protective, was waiting up for me to come home.
Kellan chuckled and shook his head. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he murmured, "So cute. . . " Peeking up at his amused eyes, I frowned. He smiled even wider. "Come on tour with me. Hell, come to L. A. with me. "
Blinking, I shook my head. "But, my. . . " I paused, realizing that the tether that had kept me in Seattle was suddenly gone. I didn't have to stay here. Sure, I didn't want to abandon my sister here, but if I wanted to take extended visits somewhere. . . I could.
Seeing me start to realize that, Kellan wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're done with school now. You can do whatever you want. "
I frowned. "Shouldn't I have higher aspirations than being a groupie?"
Kellan laughed and shook his head. "You're not a groupie if I invite you to come with us. " Ducking down, he met my eye. "When are you ever going to have another chance like this, Kiera? You have the rest of your life to find a job. . . or never find one. That would be fine with me. "
I twisted my lips. "My parents will be so proud. "
Kellan shrugged. "Blame it on me. They hate me anyway. "
Smiling, I shook my head. "They don't hate you. . . that much. "
Kellan gave me a soft kiss, then sighed. "I don't care what you do, Kiera, I just want you with me. " He pulled back. "And besides, don't you want to be a writer? Aren't you writing a book about us, about our life together?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, not realizing that he knew that. I hadn't been hiding it. . . I just hadn't been ready to show him yet. He grinned and smiled, then shrugged. "Jenny mentioned it. . . and I'd love to read it, when you're done. "
Biting my lip, I wrinkled my nose. Parts of it were painful for me, they'd be especially painful to Kellan. But. . . open and honest, that was our policy. I nodded. "When it's ready. "
Smiling, he dipped me. I laughed as he pulled me back up. "Well, writing is something that can be done anywhere, and to be the best writer you can be, you'll need to do a lot of research. " He shrugged. "What better research could you have than traveling across the nation with me. . . and Griffin?"
I cringed at that, then chuckled. Squeezing me tight, Kellan rested his head against mine again. "You could come back as often as you wanted, Kiera, to visit Anna. . . your friends, but I'd like us to do this together this time. "
Tightening my arms around his neck, I gave him a soft kiss. "Okay, let's do it. "
His lips spread into a grin underneath mine, but then he frowned. "There's only one problem, though. "
I frowned. "What's that?"
Sighing, he hung his head. "They don't let girlfriends tour on the bus with the band anymore. . . "
"Oh. . . " My body sagged as the exciting and scary prospect of life on a tour bus with a bunch of rowdy boys popped. It seemed like a strange rule to me, but, maybe that was another record label thing. . . to protect their assets, or something. Was I going to have to follow them around in Griffin's Vanagon?
Just as I was wondering why Kellan had suggested a plan that couldn't happen, he started chuckling. Watching his lips twist into an impish grin, I frowned. What was he up to now?
Shrugging, he added, "They only let the wives come with. "
My jaw dropped to my chest. Kellan lifted my chin with his finger, smirking as he closed my mouth. "Wife?" I whispered. Was he serious? Was he really proposing to me?
Grinning, he ran his finger along my jaw. "We've gone about as slow as I can go, Kiera. I love you. I'm sure that I want my life to always have you in it. " Shrugging, he shook his head. "Are you sure about me?"
Staring into the deep azure eyes that could carry me away for hours, I nodded. "Yes, I'm sure," I whispered, no doubt about my statement in my body.
He grinned then kissed me. I tried to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back. Removing my hands from around his neck, he grabbed my right one. I furrowed my brow as I watched him remove the promise ring encircling one of my fingers. Smiling wider than I'd ever seen him, he slipped the ring onto my left finger. Then he mimicked the action with his own ring.
Lifting my left hand with his left hand, he beamed at me. "There, now we're married. "
Tears in my eyes, I shook my head at him. "I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that, Kellan. "
He shrugged. "Semantics. " Smiling softly, he placed my left hand over his heart, and his left hand over my heart. "We're married. . . you're my wife. " He nodded, staring at me intently.
The tears streaming down my cheeks now, I nodded back. "And you're my husband. . . "
Exhaling with relief, he grabbed my face, sealing the deal with a heart-stopping kiss. I knew that our marriage wasn't legitimate, but that was all a legal technicality that we could change whenever we wanted. In our hearts, we were married, and in the end, that's the part of a marriage that mattered the most.
After we finally pulled apart, both of us crying at this point, I waved Denny and Abby over. I had to tell somebody that I'd just gotten married. Abby teared up when I showed her our "wedding" rings, and hugged us both. Denny shook his head, containing an amused smile since he knew our "marriage" was symbolic, at best. But then he gave Kellan a hug.
"Congratulations, mate. " Clapping him on the back, he laughed a little. "I'm glad I could be here for it. "
Kellan laughed and looked at the ground. "Yeah, me too. It seems. . . " he looked back up at Denny, "appropriate. "
Smiling, Denny nodded. Then he gave me a hug. I had to wipe my face on a napkin Abby handed me, I was crying so hard. In my ear, he whispered, "I'll admit, I'm surprised you guys made it," he pulled back to look at me, "but I'm happy that you did. "
"Thank you. . . so much. "
I started sobbing again and Kellan wrapped his arms around me. Grinning, he rocked me back and forth. "Should we go home and celebrate?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I laughed, Abby laughed too.
Shaking my head, I told him, "No. . . we're going to go rent the best hotel room in the city. " Kellan lifted one eyebrow and I giggled. "I am not spending my wedding night in the room right next door to my parents. "
Kellan laughed and nodded and I hoped my dad didn't kill my new husband when we came back home tomorrow. Or my mom. . . she was going to be pissed that she'd missed this. Although, I'm sure I could talk Kellan into a formal ceremony, just to please her. Personally, I didn't need it. Our quiet moment on the dance floor of the bar where we'd first laid eyes on each other. . . was perfect.
Kellan started pulling us away, then looked back at Denny and Abby starting to slow dance on the empty floor. I watched them for a second, happy for them, happy for me. Kellan chuckled, then called out, "I could probably scrounge up a couple of rings if you guys want to get married, too?"
I thumped Kellan in the chest and Denny laughed. Abby raised an eyebrow. "Oh, no, I'm not getting married in a bar. I'm getting the whole shebang. " Denny looked back over to her and she lifted her other eyebrow, almost daring him to tell her otherwise. Wisely, Denny didn't say anything, only smiled and hugged her tight.
Kellan laughed, then shook his head. Grabbing my hand, he pulled us from the bar into a future that seemed chock full of possibilities. We were young. . . we were in love. . . and we were about to go off into the unknown and make a treasure-trove of stories that we could tell our children about someday. But I embraced the sea of change before me, because there was one thing that wouldn't be changing, and it was the most important thing of all.
Kellan was mine and I was his. . . forever.
***The End***