I had walked for miles to get away from the unknown shadows. My legs ached from overuse and the frigid weather. Massive overload had left me completely numb. Although I refused to go back inside the building, I returned to campus and sat near the entrance. Suspiciously looking over my shoulder, I waited for Tray to arrive. My fear was illogical, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread.
The darkness wants to destroy my light…
“Why are you sitting out here – in this type of weather?? What on earth happened to you?? Did someone hurt you??” Tray asked, frantically.
He had arrived twenty minutes early and was totally panicked when I slid into the car. Once he realized I was too cold to speak, he stopped asking questions and grabbed the blanket from the backseat.
“I…mmm…fffiinnneeee…jussst…h…hh…had a baa…ad ddd…ay,” I eventually tried to reply.
My words came out in crazy, jumbled syllables because I was shivering, badly. I feel like I might never be able to get warm again…
Tray looked at me with grave concern as he wrapped the blanket around me. The initial chill sent agonizing shivers through my frozen arms and legs.
“Your lips are blue, Ember! How long have you been sittin’ outside?? Why didn’t you just call me to pick you up if you needed to go home? Someone must have done something to you, who was it?! What did they say or do? Your skin is wind burnt and you look like you’re gonna be ill! Are you feeling sick??” my brother resumed his full inquest as he turned the car around.
Driving down the road, he continued to fire questions without taking a breath. This was a sure sign – he’s seriously considering moving us again.
Pulling the blanket up to my chin, I waited for him to wind down. Tray’s urgent inquiries will continue until his anxiety’s spent and I have no idea how long that will be. I need to explain the craziness to him, but I can’t even explain it to myself.
I had spent all afternoon thinking about the stare down challenge, the rising light and the dark shadows stalking me. The best explanation I could come up with was that I had a loony stare down match with some random girl and it flipped me out. That explanation seems ridiculous and petty.
Suddenly, I was fighting back tears and losing the struggle fast. As the first tear betrayed me and slipped down my cheek, Tray slammed on the brakes. He pulled the car over onto the side of the road.
“Tell me what happened at school while I was gone today, Ember – now!” Tray demanded sharply.
His words cut like a razor through my frayed emotions. Any semblance of manufactured control that I might have been able to keep intact vanished. The tears turned into outright sobs and I covered my face with my hands.
I’m losing my mind – how can I tell my brother something like that???
“I’m so sorry, Little Girl. Please stop crying. I’m not mad – I swear…” he said in a soft voice.
Tray pulled me to him and turned up the blower on the car’s heater. He let me cry on his shoulder – waiting for the emotional tide to cease.
“That was so stupid of me. I shouldn’t have shouted like that. Sometimes I’m all testosterone and nothing else…” my brother said lightly.
I desperately tried to get myself back under some type of emotional control.
“Honestly, I don’t have the slightest clue why I’m fallin’ to pieces like this,” I finally offered as I sat back in my seat and tried to dry my tears.
“Well, I can’t have you, havin’ bad days. So, how do we solve this problem? Do we need to move on because we can go right now? You know I’m cool with doing that. Or should I prepare to crush someone into the freakin’ ground?” Tray asked in a joking manner and plowed his fist into his hand for effect.
“Why do you always assume that someone DID something to me? I’m female, you know. We cry at nothing all the time. I’m not sure what the problem was. Maybe it’s just MY hormones,” I stated and watched his reaction.
“I usually assume that someone did something to you because that’s the most likely scenario. You’re not prone to ‘falling to pieces’ over nothing. All kidding aside Little Girl, we can just pack up and move on. Besides, we’ve stayed here almost as long as the last place already. Maybe we should load up the car and hit the road tonight. I’m ready to cut out, if you want to…” Tray inquired and played with the keys hanging from the ignition.
Although I tried, I couldn’t get a feel for his emotional climate. It’s annoying when I can’t figure out what he wants to do.
“Absolutely not – I happen to like it here and I’m not ready to move again. Besides I’ve managed to make a few real friends and you have a job you seem to like and some friends too, right?” I asked him.
I was astounded to realize that I had no idea if my brother had any friends around here. I had been so busy having memory lapses and psychotic episodes that I had dismissed Tray’s life – that was far from normal.
“I would hate to leave Sunridge in a bind. After all, I’m the world’s best mechanic. Rave couldn’t make it without me…” he joked in his off-handed manner.
Calming down, I looked in the mirror to check out the ‘Ember-damage’. My skin was blotchy, my eyes were bloodshot and my lips were very chapped.
Tray agreed to start driving if I would start talking. I explained what happened with ‘Cat Girl’ and the crazy ‘stare-down-death-match.’ I left out the details about the surge of power and the rising inner light because I wasn’t quite sure if those things were real. I also didn’t include how I felt surrounded by darkness and demons because I didn’t want him to think that I am a total lunatic.
My brother didn’t seem quite satisfied with my explanation as evidenced by the deepening silence between us. Although it sounded unbelievable, it was my best account of what had happened. My insane explanation wasn’t ‘enough’ for me either, but I’m getting accustomed to baffling myself.
“I promise I’m perfectly fine. I’m sure I was just reading too much into the nonsense. This whole ‘interacting with the real world’ thing is still new to me, ya know? I can’t be expected to understand other people’s behaviors, all at once,” I stated and decided that I would settle for that explanation. “Besides, you’re the one that wanted me to find friends and live in this world, instead of my own. This world and its inhabitants are kind of freaky to me, I guess.”
He dropped me off at home and reluctantly, went back to work. My explanation must have convinced him that I would be alright. Otherwise, we would have been knee deep in moving boxes yet, again.
Now, if I can just convince myself of that fact, too – I’ll be accomplishing something…