Chapter Eighteen
Once I emerged from the girl’s bathroom, I ran outside. I only had a few minutes before the bell rang and the students would go to the assembly. I pressed my body against the wall and waited breathlessly. Several people walked by me, but they didn’t seem to notice I was anywhere around. I wasn’t sure whether to take that as a good or bad sign, although I didn’t want anyone to see me until the last possible minute.
Krista’s iPod was among her things and I borrowed it to help give me courage. If I get caught, I will have to figure out some way to buy her a new one. I can’t think about that right now. I didn’t recognize the song that was playing, but it didn’t matter. My left ear whined louder in complaint, but I ignored it.
Hopefully, Krista will forgive me for borrowing her iPod without asking her permission. My own portable CD player is too bulky in this particular situation. Her device is so small that I can hide it in the palm of my hand.
The strategic position I chose provides me with a clear view of the administrative offices where Krista is waiting and I can still watch the DC group gathering outside the gym.
Sure enough, a large number of kids are waiting near the far end of the breezeway, close to the gymnasium doors. The guys are standing in the front of the crowd. The girls are waiting behind them in the shadows. I still have no clue what they have cooked up for Greg, but I whispered a prayer to the Creator.
My best friend was standing beside the office mailboxes – right where I told her to wait. Fortunately Greg is still nowhere in sight. So for the moment, they are both safe.
I hope that Tray has been telling me the truth and not just complimenting me because he’s my brother. Otherwise, things will likely get very, very ugly in more ways than one. I felt the laughter rising at my unintended pun, but somehow managed to keep it at bay.
The bell rang - it’s show time. As I walked directly toward the dark clique crowd, I felt like a psychotic lamb running toward the slaughterhouse with an axe in my mouth. I am a lamb that knows she is about to buy the farm instead of trying to run or hide in fear. I will walk right over to the butchers and offer myself up like a sacrificial offering. I have never had a friend like Krista before. I love her and I will sacrifice anything to protect her.
Tray must have been telling me the truth – at least partially. The first two boys I walked by stopped and stared at me with some type of weird reverence. I continued my journey and avoided looking at them directly. I didn’t want to lose my courage because of my modesty issues.
I had pulled off every last layer of my clothing except for my undergarments and fitted, black long sleeved undershirt. The shirt’s neckline plunged to a dangerous level and revealed more cleavage than any swimsuit I had ever worn. I felt like one big curve because the Creator had recently blessed me in that department.
Tray would come unglued just looking at this outfit on a hanger – no way would he ever permit me to wear it.
Krista’s tiny black mini skirt hugged my hips. The belt I had selected that morning must have been destined because the sleek silver buckle matched her sandals perfectly.
I had taken my hair down and it waved like I had curled it with a hot iron. I had never used makeup before this afternoon so it felt like I had on a mask. I had been terrified that I would look like a clown. The expressions on their faces made me realize that I was likely safe from being shanghaied by the circus.
This is my first experience wearing any type of heels, so I walked slowly. I kept repeating the phrase “…grace under pressure.” I didn’t know if my little chant would help me in any meaningful way, but it gave me something other than my skimpy outfit to concentrate on.
My brother will have a stroke if he sees me wearing this mini-skirt…
The closer I got to the dark clique, the more daring I felt. I didn’t have a script or a dialogue prepared. I sincerely hope though, that my transformation from airhead freak to hot girl would distract the ‘dark’ guys long enough to let Krista and Greg pass by safely. None of their girls knew what their dastardly plan encompassed. So, I felt confident that I only needed to distract the dark clique guys and that’s precisely what I plan to do. I would have to deal with the inevitable fall out from this upcoming situation at some point I was sure.
Or my brother would deal with it for me…
I tried not to think about what that particular fall out might involve. Then the song that had been playing faded and suddenly a song that I knew came on. It was named “Scream With Me”.
How appropriate is that??
Clearing my mind, I walked with, what I hoped at least, was a cool, mindless confidence of an airhead suddenly turned into a hot chick. I had seen many girls walk like they had never had a moment of doubt in their entire existence. That stance is necessary if I want to succeed.
The wind had been perfectly still all day, but it picked right then to start blowing. My hair lifted away from my neck in response. This sent a chill throughout my body, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. I was focused on my goal a few feet away.
Then something mystifying and unexpected happened. I was forcibly stopped – dead in my tracks. I had somehow run right into the center of an invisible bubble of some kind??
I could feel its substance as I reached out to touch it with the palm of my hand. I couldn’t see what it was made of and I couldn’t seem to pass through it, either. I marveled at this strange turn-of-events. I refuse to be imprisoned by the bubble because I need to save my friend. Determined to break free, I pushed with my mind against my unseen captor. The bubble finally gave, slightly. It felt like melting rubber and I started to walk forward again.
It continued to melt as I concentrated even harder. I was able to walk a few more steps until something else unbelievable happened. The bubble started to appear before my eyes. I stopped walking instantly and stared at it in wonder. My prison looks like a sheer net made out of a wispy, silver fog.
A subtle field of pure electricity suddenly sizzled around me. I felt the gentle warmth before I saw the streams of light. I blinked, not quite believing what was happening. Delicate, white beams illuminated from every inch of my body. Although I knew the temperature was only thirty-three degrees when I had stepped outside, the wind that stirred around me felt as warm as a June breeze.
At first, the light that glowed from my body seemed to have a mind of its own. It lifted and then streaked down toward the ground. I wondered curiously what it would feel like if it returned back inside of me. Would it feel like a streak of lightning? I suppose I should have been scared, but I was only fascinated by it. I continued to watch the brilliant light as it lifted skyward, seemed to strike the top of my bubble and dove back toward the ground in a wild frenzy.
Then, it was as if the Creator took control of the light in his hands. It formed into a giant swirling mass and spun around like a disco ball. I decided to see if I could manipulate the light like I did the silver fog. The brilliant light had come from inside me, after all. So, I willed the light to expand and contract and it obeyed my instructions!
The sultry air inside my bubble caressed my exposed flesh as I manipulated the light. The wind seemed to comfort me. I inhaled deeply, drawing some of the light back inside myself. It didn’t feel like lightning at all. In fact, it was a heavenly experience. I was being mesmerized – hypnotized by the beautiful illumination.
Somehow through my wonderful distraction, I remembered my ultimate goal. I expanded the light again, but this time I would use it to escape from this shimmering prison.
The fog-like silver mist wasn’t prepared to give up. The bubble collapsed and I almost fell forward. It quickly reshaped into what looked like a ribbon. The ribbon of fog penetrated my light, little by little. It slowly and methodically wove through the white aura until it floated across my feet. As it inched its way up, around my ankles, I watched in awe. The celestial light that used to be inside of
me appeared to move aside without my permission. It wants to share its space with the encroaching mist.
Higher and higher, the ribbon of mist climbed my body and wove its way around me. It reached the edge of my miniskirt and weaved its way around the fabric. The ribbon looped around my torso and, although I could clearly see it shimmering on the outside of my clothing, I could feel it sliding against my bare skin. The mist feels so lush and warm – like being hugged by a tropical ocean breeze…
The light retreated to make way for the mist. It glowed with renewed brightness. It had reshaped as well and looked like a ribbon of light. The ribbon of brilliant light was entwined with the shimmering ribbon of silver mist. I wanted to reach out and touch them with my fingertips, but it felt almost irreverent.
Then the silver fog stopped near my heart. It was like it suddenly needed my permission to continue its climb. It was a consent that I just couldn’t give – no matter how much I wanted it.
I still needed to cross the divide between the dark clique and me…
I needed to save my best friend…
Save Greg…
Sacrifice…myself…
The silver mist shimmered, undecidedly and then sparkled with renewed brilliance. I shielded my eyes from its illumination, but it still left sunspots in its wake. Then the ribbon of mist streamed around me – up, up, up – it climbed. I tried weakly to protest because I knew what I needed to do. I tried halfheartedly to force the light from inside to give into my demands. I needed it to stop the rising heavenly fog that was currently consuming me.
The light refused my command as the glittering silver mist swirled around my eyes. Tiny flecks of celestial fire sparkled and crackled before my gaze. The fog is breathing in unison with me. Being stirred by the wind, it shimmered and caressed my face. As the silver mist wrapped around my forehead, I could almost hear it call to me. I had to hold my breath in order to hear what it was saying.
“You must stop…stay there…”
Normally, I would have considered that a challenge and one that would have made me want to do the exact opposite of the demand. This experience is so far from normal that I find myself nodding in agreement with the voice.
Still, I desperately need to break the hypnotic spell. The silver mist will do my bidding. I knew it would retreat this time if I issued the command…
I wanted to give in…
I needed the silver mist to consume me…
I surrendered to it then….
Unknown minutes ticked by as I stood there, transfixed. My mind uselessly struggled to regain some type of its power and control over me. The mesmerizing silver mist held me fully captive inside its magical embrace.
I eventually looked down toward the ground. My inner light was streaming out of me. It was flowing like a babbling brook down the breezeway to something, unseen. I tried to squint and see through the veil of light and silver mist. I almost managed to clear my line of sight when the silver fog recaptured my attention with a vengeance.
It fully surrounded my face in a dazzling display and I inhaled in surprise. My breath captured a stream of silver mist. It filled my awaiting lungs like it was pure, fresh air. As the silver mist became a part of me, I was overwhelmed with a euphoric type of pleasure. It wasn’t forbidden or sinful – it was right and it was righteous. The silver mist is everything to me…
Never had I experienced anything like this before. I felt every single ounce of my being locked tightly inside this pure celestial rapture. I continued to inhale more of it. It seemed to flow directly into my spirit. Heavenly emotions swept through me with a strong, unbelievable force.
The light exploded around me in response to my longing to have more of the silver fog. I fell down to my knees as the shimmery celestial mist was absorbed into my being. I could no longer distinguish between the light and the silver mist. They were blended and were like one spiritual force. They are now both a part of me.
Shimmering silver…brilliant light...
The very essence of my entire life force ebbed and flowed with the tides of their union. I breathed in their combined power and then, gave it away. I took – then, I repaid. Like an enthralling song playing endlessly through time and space, their force washed over me like a euphoric tidal wave caught inside the epicenter of a hurricane. My body and mind responded and accepted their power as they became one essence…one life…one energy…
Then suddenly, everything shattered! The beautiful light and the silver mist vanished in an instant. I was kneeling before the vast nothingness that was now my reality.
I turned my face up and looked into the void. I felt nothing more than the cold winter wind. It brushed against my heated face and reminded me that I had just lost something precious, somehow.
I wanted to shout at the wind and force it to bring my world back to me. It had turned into a thief – stealing the union of something rare and beautiful. The light and the mist had been snatched away and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn’t know how to bring them back because I didn’t know where they came from in the first place.
The black shadows gathered quickly inside my heart and my soul was filled with emptiness and mourning. Agony and torture consumed me…the dark tides started to take me away…
“Ember! What’s happening to you…what’s wrong??? Look at me!” Tray shouted insanely into my darkness.
His voice echoed through the emptiness and urgently tried to reach me on the other side. The blinders are being lifted slowly from my eyes as my reverie started to crack and shatter bit, by agonizing bit. I was being drawn back to my brother and the unmitigated pain washed through me. It threatened to overwhelm me again.
Tray was on his knees directly in front of me and had me firmly by the shoulders. He was shaking me as hard as he possibly could without killing me in the process. His form slipped in and out of focus like he was a ghost. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew he was there.
Crying out for my spirit to return to him…
I tried to speak, but the words failed to reach my lips as I was being pulled down into the darkened anguish. I had lost every ounce of strength in my body – I was ripped and shredded – I had no more substance. The heat rose inside and tried to devour me.
Obviously, Tray didn’t realize that I knew that he was there in front of me. I didn’t have any way to let him know either. I couldn’t tell him goodbye.
Would I take him with me into the darkened abyss? Please no…
My mind instantly flooded with visions of my nightmare. The darkness can never have my brother or me. The shadows released their grasp when that thought rocketed through my mind.
Suddenly, I was back from the darkness as the painful awareness consumed me. My new reality was soaked in agony. I blinked into the raging storm and tried to focus. I was emotionally devastated and my soul was still on fire.
Tray didn’t let up on his death grip. Terrified, he was still violently shaking me. He kept screaming my name, repeatedly. His eyes are wild like a starving, feral cat. He finally realized I was back from the darkness, even though I still didn’t respond to him. He released my shoulders and for one brief instant I thought he was going to slap me. Instead, he caressed my face with the back of his hand while he stared at me in disbelief and shock.
I was dizzy from his efforts to bring me back from the brink and from my consuming grief as well. I held my breath until the worst of the vertigo subsided. Then, I fell against my brother and wailed in outright agony.
The silver mist had been stolen away from me. This was such a tremendous torture that my mind simply refused to accept it. I didn’t care how many people were witnessing this mental break down. I didn’t care about anything except the silver mist. It was gone and now I had nothing left, but my endless torment. I pressed my face into my brother’s shoulder and sobbed.
“Sshhh, it’s fine, sssshhhhh…you’re fine now…everything’s okay
my little girl,” Tray soothed me as he rocked me.
The wailing eventually settled into quiet tears. I knew we would have to move now for sure. I didn’t have any way to explain this. Parents would have to be called and a straitjacket needed to be issued for me. I would rather accept death than leave this place though. Some piece of me was floating around out there, somewhere. I can’t leave without it? I felt hopeless and helpless – living in the center of despair.
I gathered what semblance of my shattered being was left behind and lifted my face away from his shoulder. I want to tell him how we can’t leave yet, apologize for everything and tell him how much I love him. Then I will have to face the crowd and somehow try to explain the unexplainable.
“Tray…” I tried to choose some words when I finally rediscovered my voice.
As my mind registered my surroundings, I was speechless again from shock.
I was still right where I started…in the breezeway…in front of the gym…but Tray and I were alone…