My brother had wrapped his jacket around my body and buttoned it up the instant he could. It spilled to the ground and formed a puddle of denim. It looks like a tent-sized dress. I couldn’t seem to gather enough strength to stand. Tray finally just picked me up like he did when I was a kid. He sat me down on the concrete retaining wall that the dark clique kids had been waiting at earlier. He stared at me with a crazy, terrified expression. We were still the only two people in this breezeway. I could hear the noises of the crowd muffled inside the gymnasium. The assembly has already started.
Did I go unnoticed somehow? Did it happen?
I would’ve been more reluctant to believe in the silver mist due to my recent psychotic episodes, but I could still feel the emptiness right underneath my heart. I grabbed my chest and pressed it in grief and loss. The empty space burned blazing hot – filled up with a fiery flame. I welcomed the pain into my body because at least it reminded me that I had my everything …if only for a moment…
My knees were badly scraped up and so were the palms of my hands. I couldn’t care less about them though. It felt like I had the entire world one minute and then it was torn away from me. I was empty now except for the raging fire inside.
Will I ever be able to feel anything besides the raw pain and emptiness?
Once again, the memory of the nightmare shoved its way into my awareness. I know why I’m located in this breezeway.
And suddenly, I knew how to feel again…
“Tray, I need you to go inside and find Krista and Greg! You gotta make sure they’re okay. I need you to go, now – please…” I shouted in a high-pitched, hysterical voice.
He didn’t move or acknowledge my urgent request. He just looked at me like I had lost my mind. Panic renewed my strength as I tried to physically shove him toward the gym doors. That would prove to be ineffective. I would have had more luck trying to move a ten-story building. He didn’t budge an inch.
“I’m not about to leave you out here, alone! I couldn’t care less about kiddie romance, friend or no friend. We’re leaving – right now,” he replied in a bizarre, dangerous tone that I had never heard him use in my entire life.
“I can’t go check on them myself…I’m a mess. Please, you’ve just gotta do this for me. You don’t have to say anything to them, just make sure they’re okay. Then, you can come right back out. I promise that I’ll stay right here and I won’t move a single millimeter. I’ll beg if I have to,” I pleaded and tried in vain to read his facial features.
He gave me a look of pure unbridled fury before he stormed inside the gym to get the information for me. My stress level was somewhere near the stratosphere. I sat back down and felt my pulse pounding out of control…emotionally devastated.
I tried to regain some perspective – that might not ever be achievable, again. My thoughts wandered around in the dark empty spaces as the fire raged deep inside. The heat radiated through Tray’s coat. My spirit has been transformed into an incinerator.
My tortured thoughts would have likely continued down that dark path, but something unbelievable occurred.
My ears are no longer buzzing! In fact, they are completely healed!